Her Forbidden Rockstar: A Forbidden Rockers Novel

by Sarah Robinson

  She waved to her and then finished paying for her drink with George.

  “Hey, girl,” Aralia said as Caroline walked up and sat down across from her in a stuffed chair.

  “So, I’m going to tell Turner that I’ll marry him,” Caroline said, taking a big gulp of her freshly hot drink and then coughing when she realized how hot it was.

  Aralia looked up from the paper, alarmed. Caroline hadn’t been sure what she was going to say, until she saw Aralia, but when she did, she knew what she should do.

  “Wow. What made you decide that?” Aralia asked, putting down the magazine on a low table between them.

  “I just think it’s the best thing to do. I mean my parents love Turner, he is the kind of guy they always wanted me with. He has a good and steady job and we live together already. He loves me and takes care of me. He’s fun and I enjoy being around him. It just seems to make sense,” Caroline explained.

  “What about Logan?” Aralia asked cautiously, picking up a scone she had purchased earlier, and taking a big bite.

  “What about him? He picked Gina, Aralia. He didn’t pick me. He can’t just go try her on for six months, then decide to come back to me just because it didn’t work out with her. Hell, I don’t even know if that’s true. He wasn’t exactly forthcoming about her when we first met. He could still be with her for all I know.” Caroline shrugged as she explained herself.

  “Caroline, they’re definitely over. You can Google it, she is working with some other band now,” Aralia said.

  “She is? You looked her up? Why?” Caroline asked, furrowing her brow and crossing her legs.

  “I was curious when he did the whole sit in front of the coffee shop thing all day last week. I think it’s pretty clear that he publicly claimed his affections for you with that whole thing,” she said.

  “Not really, it was explained off as a promotion for his new art gallery.”

  “Well that was his agency that said that, not him.” she defended Logan to Caroline.

  She nodded in agreement, knowing Aralia was right.

  “Caroline, tell me one thing. Do you love Logan? Not just love, but are you in love with Logan?” Aralia leaned forward. Caroline sighed and slumped back in her chair, crossing her arms.

  “Aralia, what kind of question is that? I just told you that I am going to say yes to Turner’s proposal.”

  “I know, but in that whole explanation you gave me earlier about why you’re going to say yes, not once did you mention love. Not once did you say you loved Turner. We both know that you love, or at least did love, Logan. If I can be honest, I think that you still are.”

  Caroline was silent, listening to her, and squirmed uncomfortably in her seat.

  “Well, it doesn’t really matter. I can’t marry a rock star and run away with him, I mean I have built a life here that my family worked hard to give me. Turner is stable, kind, funny, and he makes me happy. What more can a girl ask for than that?”

  “Okay, Caroline, but I want to go on record saying I don’t think you’re thinking this through correctly.” Aralia put her hands up in surrender.

  Caroline nodded, knowing she should take Aralia’s advice more seriously. They finished up their coffee and said goodbye, walking each other out of the shop, and then parting ways. Aralia was heading back home, since she didn’t have to go into the bar for work until later tonight.

  Once Aralia got around the corner of the block and out of sight, she quickly pulled out her phone and flipped through her contacts until she found the number that she wanted. She clicked on it and held the phone up to her ear quickly.

  “Hey, it’s Aralia. I need you to come by the bar tonight. I have to talk to you. It has to be tonight, it’s really important. Okay, see you shortly,” Aralia said and then hung up the phone and headed back to her apartment.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “So, what’s the emergency?” Logan said as Aralia picked up a glass and tossed some ice into it, glancing up at him.

  “Let me guess, scotch on the rocks kind of guy? Nothing but top shelf?” Aralia asked him, ignoring his question.

  “Bingo. You certainly know your way around a bar,” he told her, smiling.

  “Hey, got to love what you do. I have a talent for guessing people’s favorite drinks, hazard of the profession. Here you go.” Aralia finished pouring the glass and slid it across the bar to him.

  He took a few small sips and nodded in approval.

  “So, talk to me, Aralia.” Putting down his glass and propping his elbows up on the edge of the bar, leaning against it to listen to her. Aralia sighed and leaned against the other side of the bar, over the ice chest, so that she could get closer. She glanced around the bar and then lowered her voice.

  “Logan, I don’t know any other way to tell you this except to just flat out rip off the band-aid.” Aralia sighed and then continued, “Turner proposed to Caroline and she’s going to say yes.”

  The handsome rock star sat back in his chair, pushing off the bar, and stared at her for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out if what he had just heard could be true. He breathed out, loudly, and pushed his hair back with his hand, then gulped down the rest of his drink and pushed the glass back toward Aralia.

  Aralia grabbed it and emptied it out, refilled the ice and scotch, and then handed it back to him. He took another gulp.

  “She’s going to say yes?” He knew the answer, but had to say it out loud anyway. He was staring at Aralia, but looking past her into space as well.

  “She doesn’t want to. I know she says she wants to, but she really doesn’t. I know she’s still in love with you. You need to win her back.” Aralia said, wiping some glasses clean.

  “You don’t think I tried?” Logan said incredulously, tossing his hands up in the air and then taking another few swigs from his glass.

  “I know, but try again. She’s been my best friend for longer than I can remember and I like Turner, but he doesn’t make her light up the way she does when she talks about you. When she would talk about you, even when she was upset, there was a passion and excitement in her eyes that I only ever saw before when she is drawing in her sketch book.”

  Logan felt a stirring in his gut at that look he’d seen a few times in Caroline’s eyes.

  “She has spent all her life trying to be the person she thinks she is supposed to be, based on other people’s opinions, like her parents. But even her mom was talking to me a while ago, after they first met Turner, and said she was worried Caroline was making a mistake, all they really want is for her to be truly happy. I don’t know why she thinks she has to fit a specific mold, but she really needs to just let go and follow her heart instead,” Aralia told him, continuing to clean glasses and lining them up on the bar shelf.

  “She lights up when she talks about me?” Logan asked, smiling at the thought of her beautiful smile just for him.

  Aralia nodded. “Unbelievably.”

  “Thanks, Aralia. You’re a great friend to her,” Logan said and pulled some cash out of his pocket, dropping it on the bar.

  Aralia handed him a piece of paper with Caroline’s address on it, he read it, then tucked it into his pocket. He smiled at her and headed out, leaving the bar. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning, ear to ear, almost skipping down the Manhattan streets.

  He felt like his whole body was jittery with adrenaline. It was strange that he was in such a good mood for having just heard that the woman he loves was planning on marrying someone else, but his heart was telling him something else. He had no doubts about what he was going to do next.

  ღ ~ ღ ~ ღ

  “Hey, have you seen my green t-shirt with the signet on it?” Turner stuck his head out of the bedroom and called to Caroline. She was sitting on the couch, watching one of the prime time drama television series that she loved.

  “Yeah, I just folded it. It’s in the pile of laundry in the white bin. I haven’t put them away in the drawers yet. Sorry,” Caroline responded
, then went back to watching her show.

  Turner went back into the bedroom.

  Caroline looked back at the bedroom door and bit her lip. She had another day before the big talk with Turner. She knew she had told Aralia she’d made up her mind, but now she felt like she was even further from a decision than ever. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and sighed, leaning into the couch and trying to get comfortable.

  Her whole body felt tense and stressed, her chest was tight, and her throat felt closed. Sometimes she had to catch herself from letting a tear slip out, because the stress was just overwhelming her.

  Her television program clicked off and went to a commercial break just as Caroline heard a knock on their front door. Caroline looked over toward the hallway to see if Turner was going to answer it, but didn’t hear any movement from the bedroom.

  She sighed and stood up, smoothing out her baggy t-shirt and fluffing her hair a bit, wondering who would be visiting at such a late hour. She trotted over to the front door in her small shorts and ankle socks, opening it wide and pausing in mid-motion.

  “Caroline,” Logan said softly, standing in her doorway.

  He was wearing a leather jacket over a thin t-shirt and tight jeans, looking her straight in the eyes with such an intensity that she almost fell over. She took a deep breath, trying to regain her thoughts, and then turned around to look and see if Turner was around.

  She didn’t see him, so she quickly stepped out into the hallway, made sure the door was unlocked, and gently closed it behind her. She was terrified that Turner might have seen him. She wasn’t sure how she would ever explain this to him.

  After closing the door, Caroline turned around and looked up at Logan. She tried to say something, but no words came out of her mouth. Logan took a step toward her and placed his hands on either side of her face, leaning down and kissing her.

  She didn’t try to stop him, not even the smallest amount of resistance.

  Instead, she slipped her hands around his waist and leaned into him, deepening their kiss. A few quiet moments went past with the two locked in the tangles of intimacy until Logan finally pulled back slightly from her, breaking their kiss.

  “Caroline, I love you,” he whispered softly, inches from her face, still holding her cheeks in his large hands.

  Caroline looked deeply into his eyes and burst into tears. His fingers wiped away her tears gently. He leaned down again and kissed each of her cheeks where her tears were. She let him for a moment, then pushed him away, wiping her face with her sleeve and trying to calm down.

  “Logan, you can’t be here. I have a boyfriend, we live together and he is right inside. I already told you that there’s nothing left between us,” she whispered to him, pushing him back further away.

  “You know that’s not true, Caroline.”

  Logan looked down at the ground and then back at her, slipping his hands into his pockets. He pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket and handed it to her. She took it and saw that it was an invitation for his art gallery opening party.

  “Friday night, my art gallery opens. I never want to be the one who makes you cry ever again. If there is even the smallest part of you that thinks this is meant to be,” he told her, pointing to the both of them. “Then come find me there. If not, if you want to be with Turner, then go get married, and you will never have to deal with me again. If that is the case, if you are not there on Friday night, then I will leave you alone. I won’t bother you again.”

  Logan closed the gap between them and kissed her gently on her forehead, his hands on her upper arms.

  “I just want you to be happy, the happiest that you can possibly be. Even if that means I don’t get to be part of that painting. You deserve happiness, Caroline.” Logan let go of her arms, brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and then walked away.

  He headed around the corner, toward the elevator, and Caroline leaned back against the door, her heart pounding. She gulped and placed her hand on her chest, trying to calm herself.

  She turned and slowly opened the door, trying to stay quiet. There was still no movement from the bedroom and the rest of the apartment was quiet so Caroline sighed and headed back into the living room, plopping down on the couch. The television was still going, but Caroline stared at it blankly.

  Her mind was swarming with thoughts and empty all at the same time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Thursday morning, Caroline woke up and stared at the ceiling, trying to convince herself why she should get out of bed. She looked at the clock and knew it was time to start getting ready for work, but for some reason her body wouldn’t cooperate. She continued to watch the clock and the minutes ticking past.

  Turner was already gone, which was typical for the last few days since they were avoiding each other. Things couldn’t possibly be more awkward between them.

  Caroline could see the pain on Turner’s face every time that she looked at him or every time he saw the ring box still sitting on their dresser. He had no doubts in how much he loved her and she knew it was devastating him that she couldn’t seem to return that certainty.

  Caroline grabbed at the phone on her nightstand and tapped in the number for work, holding it to her ear and waiting for one of the firm’s secretaries to pick up. After a few rings, a high pitched voice with a New Jersey accent, greeted her.

  “Hi, this is Caroline Sanders, one of the paralegals for Mr. Rosen. Could you please inform Mrs. Ward that I won’t be able to make it into work today? I woke up with a terrible cold and I am worried that I might have the flu, I really don’t think I could manage through a day at the office and I don’t want to get anyone there sick,” Caroline lied to the lady.

  The woman immediately voiced her concerns and best wishes for Caroline’s speedy recovery and promised to relay the message to Caroline’s supervisor. Caroline thanked her profusely, trying to really sell her lie, and then hung up the phone.

  Caroline then finally pulled herself out of bed and went to her closet, picking out some comfortable clothes to wear for the day. She spied her suitcase in the corner of her closet and suddenly had an idea that for the first time all week made her feel calm.

  She quickly grabbed a smaller overnight travel bag and began throwing an outfit and some other essentials into the bag. She got dressed and brushed her hair, fixed some makeup, and brushed her teeth. Once she was ready she grabbed her travel bag and her purse and headed out the door.

  She paused at the front door and swiveled around, making a quick detour to the kitchen, where she pulled a pad of paper and a pen out of one of the kitchen drawers. She quickly scrawled out a note to Turner, explaining where she was and promising to be back tomorrow to meet him at the restaurant that he had made a reservation at.

  She headed out the door, locking it behind her, and practically skipping down the stairs in eagerness to get out of her situation for a few hours.

  Caroline got down to the street and hailed a taxi to take her to Penn Station. Within thirty minutes, she was boarding a train headed to the Hamptons, hoping that seeing her parents would bring her the clarity, and even the comfort, that she needed.

  ღ ~ ღ ~ ღ

  The train ride went by quickly for Caroline as she watched the world pass by the window and let her mind be blank. All the stress of the last few days had reached a boiling point for her that morning. She was a grown woman, but today she needed her parents.

  She needed a hug from her mother and reassurance from her father that everything was going to be okay. She felt a little silly that at her age she would come running to her parents, but she knew that even though they had their differences, her mother and father loved her.

  When she finally arrived in the Hamptons, she hired a town car to take her up to her parent’s house, which was further north and a lengthy drive up the coast. She enjoyed the luxury of the leather in the black town car, compared to the taxi that she had been in earlier which may, or may not, have had multiple
types of bodily fluid strewn about.

  The quiet town allowed the driver to speed up and Caroline arrived home faster than she had expected. She thanked the driver and gave him a large tip, then headed up the front steps to the door, toting her bag and purse with her.

  She didn’t bother knocking, but rather walked right in and dropped her bags in the foyer.

  “Mom? Dad?” Caroline called out loudly from where she stood as she pushed the door shut behind her.

  She didn’t hear any response, but Rosie walked in from the side room.

  “Ms. Caroline? What are you doing here? What a lovely surprise!” Rosie greeted her and came to give her a hug. Caroline accepted the hug greedily, needing the affection.

  “Are you staying the night? Let me take your bags,” Rosie told her and Caroline confirmed that she would stay just the one night and head back tomorrow.

  “Where are my parents, Rosie?”

  “Straight out back, my dear. They are having lunch on the veranda. I will tell the chef to bring out another plate, you must be starving.” Rosie told her.

  “Thanks, Rosie!” Caroline quickly headed down the hallway and took a few turns before reaching the back door.

  She stepped out onto the veranda to see her parents sitting at the table with the umbrella open over them, shading them from the sun. The table was elaborately set with fine china and dishes of food as well as wine in front of both of her parents plates. Upon hearing the door open, they both looked in her direction and their faces lit up.

  “Carrie!” her mother exclaimed and popped right up out of her seat, hurrying over to embrace her daughter.

  Her father was only steps behind and wrapped his arms around them both in a tight hug.