“You don’t want to meet her?”
“Yeah, of course.” But not that kind of ‘meet her’. “As your friend.” I homed in on the stud beneath Leigh’s lip. It was moving around, seemingly independently. They must’ve had it caught between their teeth. “Doesn’t that hurt?”
Leigh nodded and released it with a laugh. They picked up their drink, as did I.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I feel the same about you,” I said, and then, realising we’d moved on a bit, clarified, “that you’re attractive.”
I heard Leigh inhale sharply. Maybe they hadn’t noticed after all, even though I felt like all I did was stare and drool and make a fool of myself in their presence.
Things were a bit tense, like…the closest I could come up with was A’ Level results day. I thought I’d done well, and I was eager to find out, until they started giving out the results, at which point Noah had to physically push me to the desk. I got straight ‘A’s—we both did—which was what we’d expected based on our mock exam results.
I could’ve done with Noah here to push me now, but I was on my own this time.
Leigh and I sat quietly, drinking our drinks and watching the pub slowly fill. Someone arrived with speakers on stands and set them up either side of the stage. Another bartender started work. The noise level steadily grew, charging the atmosphere until it was buzzing. By eight o’clock, there were no free tables and very little standing room.
Leigh’s friend arrived, and they introduced us. Nora was from Lithuania—coincidentally, Pink’s ancestors on her mother’s side were Lithuanian, but I didn’t mention it—and she had a lovely accent. Even her talking voice was melodic. She and Leigh immediately fell into rapid conversation with much laughter as they caught up on what they’d been up to since they last saw each other.
While they talked, I replayed the last hour: what Leigh had said about me obsessing over my weight, and being good-looking; the way they’d sat close, and their admission to matchmaking Nora and me. It had sounded like Leigh was trying to gauge if I was interested, and their smile at my head shake seemed to be more than amusement.
I could’ve been reading too much into everything, but then I thought back to last night, at the Pride social: Leigh’s assumption I was there as an ally, and their reaction when I told them I wasn’t. Suddenly, it clicked. Or I hoped it had.
* * * * *
Chapter Six
It turned out it was an open mic night, so it wasn’t just Nora who was performing, and we sat through five other people before she took her guitar out of its case and prepared to go on stage. All of the acts were really good, most of them singing their own acoustic interpretations of well-known songs. The duet who were on directly before Nora had a kick-ass backing track, and they got lots of whistles and applause. It made me a little worried for her, going up there with just her voice and guitar after those guys had rocked so hard.
As Nora adjusted the mic stand, Leigh shuffled sideways so they were facing the stage, their back against my arm. I lifted it out of the way and rested it along the back of the seat; Leigh glanced over their shoulder at me. “OK?”
I nodded. OK and then some.
“Good evening, everyone,” Nora said into the microphone. The response came in whoops from the people standing in front of the stage. “Hi.” She smiled down at them, and someone shouted, “Buy me time!”
Leigh leaned back and talked close to my ear. “That’s one of Nora’s songs.”
“Cool.” I kept my eyes on Nora, who was strumming gently and offering nods and smiles to individual members of her audience in between fiddling with the pegs on the end of her guitar. She had great stage presence, and so much confidence, although my attentiveness was largely to counteract the effect of the physical contact with Leigh.
“It’s good to be here. I’m Nora. I’m from Lithuania, a little country to the north of Poland. I’ve been living in England for three years now, training to become a nurse, but I also like to write my own songs and sing—”
“Buy Me Time!” someone shouted again.
Nora laughed. “Should I sing now?”
“Yes!” came the resounding reply.
“OK. This first song, is called…‘Buy Me Time’.”
The group in front of the stage cheered loudly. Nora increased the volume of her strumming and started to sing.
And wow, could she sing. The melody was quite repetitive, hypnotic, the kind of tune that got stuck in your head and made you want to hum along, but the words were more like poetry than lyrics. Nora was really clever with her rhyming couplets, even more so when I considered that English wasn’t her first language.
The song was about how people sold the best years of their lives, under the illusion it would buy them more time. It resonated, because it was what my grandma always said about my grandad. He’d died the year he was due to retire, and he’d worked long days, taking all the overtime he could get, saving up for his retirement. I was fifteen when he died, yet I couldn’t say I knew him well; I hardly ever saw him.
“Like it?” Leigh mouthed at me, which was when I realised the song had ended. I nodded, because I had been paying attention. Leigh was right. I loved Nora’s music, and Leigh was by my side. Right then, life couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Thank you.” Nora bowed her head graciously at the applause. She put some kind of clip on her guitar and strummed the strings a couple of times, fiddling with the clip as she said, “This next song is dedicated to my good friend who’s come all the way from Norwich to be here tonight.” She looked our way. “Say hi, Leigh.”
“Hi!” Leigh waved while everyone was looking at us and then covered their face with their hands. I laughed and then almost choked when Leigh shifted so they were pressed up against me.
“This is called ‘All The Same To Me’. Thank you.”
“My favourite,” Leigh whispered excitedly.
Nora played and sang, and Leigh sang along while I tried my best to focus on the song, but all I got was the warmth of Leigh’s body, and that citrus scent. My arm was sliding off the back of the seat, not consciously, but it was happening, and I could probably have stopped it, except I thought…what the hell? I let it, and it came to a rest on Leigh’s shoulders. They wriggled until their head was in the crook of my chest and shoulder.
I bent closer and asked, “Is this OK?”
Without looking away from Nora, Leigh nodded and reached up, pulling my arm down and around them.
Oh, God. Ohhh, God. There was magic happening. We were actually doing this.
The rest of Nora’s set whooshed by in a major blur, my thoughts circling—I’ve got my arm around Leigh…they’re holding my hand…my arm’s around Leigh… Truthfully, I’d been expecting tonight to be like the days in summer—minus Noah and Matty—just a couple of mates listening to music and having a drink or two.
I had my arm around Leigh! And they were holding my hand, which felt incredible. While I was a bit nervous about doing so, I brushed my thumb over their knuckles. Leigh locked their fingers with mine. Never mind Nora’s lovely songs, my soul was singing one all of its own.
It was only when Leigh released my hand to applaud that I realised Nora had finished, and guilt poked a finger at me.
“Just popping to the loo,” Leigh said, shuffling away, along the seat. The relatively cool air chilled the warm imprint on my skin; I shivered, smiling and unable to stop.
While Leigh was gone, I finished my Coke, wondering if I should go and get us another drink, but then, Leigh might not want to stay now they’d seen Nora. They might even be calling Sol already to arrange our lift home. I wasn’t ready for our evening to end yet, but Sol wouldn’t get to us for another hour, so it wasn’t so bad. But the physical contact…
I’d imagined, or fantasised, really, having Leigh in my arms, but my mind had skipped ahead, to some distant, surreal future where we were together, an established couple, and holding hands or sharing a kiss were ordinary, co
mmonplace activities. In a way, I wasn’t surprised; my romantic frame of reference was the people around me, most of whom were in long-term relationships. Or, at least, they were the ones I aspired to emulate.
I could’ve spent forever with Leigh in my arms, our fingers entwined. But what if Leigh had just got carried away with the music? The first-touch spell had been broken, and it had taken so long for us to get there. What if we both were too nervous to pick up where we’d left off?
“What did you think of my songs? Did you like them?” Nora propped against our table and put her guitar back in its case.
“I loved them,” I answered, and it was honest insofar as I loved the ones I’d heard. “You’re really good.”
Nora’s smile showed how pleased she was to hear that, which said a lot about the kind of person she was. All those people who had been standing in front of the stage knew her stuff—they were fans—and yet she humbly accepted my compliment like what I thought was important.
“You and Leigh are close, yes?”
“Oh! Um…” How to answer?
“It’s new?”
I nodded, my attention diverting to Leigh’s reappearance across the room. Nora looked over, too, and waved. Leigh waved back and weaved through the crowd towards us.
“Hi!” they called as they neared and gave Nora a hug. “You were brilliant as ever.”
“Thank you, meile. You are too kind.” The hug continued, and they talked into each other’s ears, a quiet, private conversation. Not wishing to intrude, I did my best to subtly edge along the table and around them and went to the bar.
“Coke and Diet Coke, right?” the bartender said as soon as they saw me.
“Please. Do you know what Nora drinks?”
“Bottled beer.” The bartender—Jack—began filling a glass with Coke and tilted their head towards the beer fridge. “You want one of those as well?”
“Yes, please.” I turned so I could see Leigh and Nora in my peripheral vision, discovering they were both looking my way. I met Leigh’s gaze, and they smiled, nodding and speaking to Nora at the same time. Leigh’s eyes left my face, moving downwards, and I realised I wasn’t paying attention to my posture. I quickly tightened my stomach muscles and turned back to find the three drinks lined up on the bar. I dug out some money and handed it over.
“You might as well stay here, mate,” Jack said, ringing my round into the till. “You won’t get a word in edgeways with those two.” They handed my change over, which I put in the tip jar.
“Cheers,” I said, picking up the three drinks. “I might be back yet.”
Jack laughed and moved on to the next customer while I returned to our table and set down the drinks before sliding back into my seat, surprised when Leigh slid in beside me, and then gobsmacked when they took hold of my hand again. Nora noticed with the smiled equivalent of saying ‘that’s cute’, and I didn’t care.
“So, how d’you know each other?” I asked.
“We met in the hospital,” Leigh said.
“That’s right. You said you’re a nurse.”
“Yes, I am,” Nora confirmed, “but we were patients at the time. We shared a side room, didn’t we?”
Leigh grinned. “Yeah, we did.”
“I bet that was fun for the staff,” I teased, and both of them laughed.
“Leigh is a terrible influence,” Nora said, trying to look innocent.
“Ha-ha.” Leigh leaned closer and said at normal volume, “She chatted up the night staff so they’d let us go out.”
“I promised I’d look after you, that’s all.”
“And who was looking after you?”
“I’m a nurse! I can look after myself.” For my benefit, Nora explained, “I’m a children’s nurse. I’ll have to go after this drink. I’ve got an early shift tomorrow.”
“That sucks,” I said. I hoped she hadn’t stayed just because I’d bought her a drink. I should’ve asked first.
Nora gave a carefree shrug. “I don’t mind. I love my job.” She swigged her beer and watched the singer currently on stage. He was OK, but I felt sorry for him because hardly anyone was paying attention.
“I should call Sol soon,” Leigh said. “It’s quarter to ten already.”
I was tempted to get out my phone to check, not because I doubted Leigh, but the time had flown by. Had we really been there for nearly three hours? I left my phone where it was and sat back, listening to music overlaid with first Leigh calling Sol and then Leigh and Nora’s conversation, which was a catch-up on gossip about mutual friends. It continued until the guy finished his last song to half-hearted applause and the next band got up on stage. Drum kit, amps, electric guitars…
“I’m going now,” Nora shouted over the sudden eruption of noise that was their first number. Leigh slid out of the seat to hug their friend, and then Nora edged in and gave me a quick hug, too.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
“And you.”
I watched her squeeze through the crowd, bashing a few of them with her guitar on her way, and I didn’t think it was by accident. I liked her a lot. She was so confident and fun. She made it to the door and waved once more. I looked up at Leigh, who was still on their feet, with a finger in the ear closest to the stage. They mouthed ‘Outside?’ and moved off without waiting for my response. Gulping down the last of my Coke, I took the glasses back to the bar and followed.
* * * * *
Chapter Seven
Even though Sol wouldn’t get to us for at least another three-quarters of an hour, I didn’t mind waiting outside. It gave us a chance to talk away from the music and other people. Leigh walked ahead of me, rubbing their ear and frowning. They gave a final rapid head shake and blew air. “That’s just noise.”
I laughed at their reaction. “I kind of like it,” I said, because I was into the rockier stuff, although I agreed; the band were too loud, and it actually sounded better with a wall between us and them. I could almost make out the lyrics from out here.
“You still into Pink?” Leigh asked.
“Yep.”
Leigh stepped closer to the kerb and peered along the street. “She’s all right, I suppose. Is it her music or the way she looks that does it for you?”
“I dunno. Both?”
“If she was ugly, would you still listen to her songs?”
“If she was ugly?” It was a weird question, and I was playing for time, trying to figure out why Leigh had asked it, although they did that quite a lot, I’d noticed.
“Yeah.” They swiftly glanced at me and then away again. “Like, if she was caught on camera without her make-up and stuff, and she was covered in unsightly scars and spots…”
“She has been caught on camera without her make-up. She’s not unsightly, though.” I got the feeling this wasn’t a test of the depth of my love for Pink, so I answered carefully, “The main reason I like her is for her music. It doesn’t make any difference what she looks like.”
Leigh folded their arms and turned to face me but stayed on the edge of the pavement. “What’s the thing you like most about her?”
“Her voice.” I didn’t have to think about that one. Yeah, OK, I thought she was very attractive—that bad girl vibe, the sassy blonde hair, smouldering eyes—and I appreciated her lack of shame when it came to showing her body, but it was her voice I really loved.
“What if you found out she’d been lip-syncing all this time?
“I’d be gutted.”
Leigh’s frown finally faded, and they smiled, slowly coming over to where I was standing with my back against the pub wall. “You’ll have to play me your favourite songs sometime.”
“OK,” I agreed, recalling a conversation we’d had in the summer, when I’d first told Leigh I was a huge fan, and Leigh had reeled off a long list of artists they liked before changing the subject. I tried to remember what to, in case it was important, but I was drawn back to the present by the motion of Leigh rubbing their arms. “Are you cold?�
�� I asked. I was still too warm, but I had plenty of extra insulation. Leigh didn’t.
“A bit.”
“If I had a jacket…” I peered along the wall to the pub door, but any suggestion I might’ve made for us to go inside was lost when Leigh stepped into the space in front of me—as in, right in front of me—and turned so their back was against my belly. I immediately breathed in and did my best to tighten my abdominal muscles. I wouldn’t be able to keep it up for long.
“Is this OK?” Leigh asked.
I nodded, which was silly when Leigh couldn’t see me. “Yeah,” I said. Between holding everything in and the effect of Leigh’s closeness, it was an effort to speak. “Are you any warmer?”
“Getting there.” Leigh reached up with both hands and hooked my arms, pulling them down and around their shoulders.
So, the snuggle-up when Nora was performing hadn’t just been a ‘magic of the moment’ moment, because cold or not, Leigh’s actions spoke loud and clear, and it made me a bit braver. I leaned forward, bringing my shoulders in and circling Leigh, enveloping them with my body. Leigh inhaled deeply and released it as a sigh, at the same time gripping my forearms and properly leaning against me, into me, like we’d melded together. Leigh sighed again and silence fell—not just because the rock band had reached the end of a song.
“Warmer now?”
“Uh-huh.” Leigh traced the crease in my shirt sleeve with their finger. “You feel safe.”
“Hmm?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard correctly, and if I had, whether it was another of those ‘you’re a strapping lad’ remarks I was supposed to take as a compliment.
“I mean…you make me feel safe.”
“Do I?” I was blushing, I was pretty sure, because my ears felt hot enough to melt right off my head. Leigh peered sideways and up at me and smiled. I couldn’t have stopped myself smiling back if my life had depended on it. “How?” I asked, ventriloquist-like through the grin.
“You’re so firm and steady.”
“The size of a bus—ow!” Leigh’s right elbow dug sharply into my side and caught my hipbone.
The Making of Us Page 6