by Pema Donyo
I kissed the top of his head. “You’ll know what to do.”
“I already do.” All of a sudden, the worried look from his face vanished and he flashed me a smile. “Let’s not waste any more time together, Janey.”
I raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in mood. He got up off the bed and started toward the stairs. “Let’s go out tonight!” he called. “You love the restaurant in Paris. Maxim’s, right?”
“Yeah.” What was going on? “Adrian, we can’t just go to Paris.”
“Sure we can.” He stopped walking to look at me. “You always talked about us going there together. Let’s go now.”
What was with the suddenly live-in-the-now attitude? He was one of the most cautious people I knew. He took his time with everything; he never rushed. “We can go after I finish the contract in DC.”
“No.” Another emotion flashed in those expressive eyes of his, but as quick as I’d seen it, it was gone. “We’re going right now.”
“I’ll meet you down there.” I gestured to my pajamas. “I’ll get dressed.”
“Good.” Adrian started down the stairs. “Five minutes!”
I sat there for a few seconds, staring at the spot where he stood moments before. He was acting strange. Maybe all the stress from the CEO missions finally got to him. I managed a small smile. Better he spend time with me in Paris than keep overworking himself. He needed a break, especially if I could help.
I stepped off the bed and headed toward the wardrobe. I’d already moved a few of my clothes into his wardrobe for the nights I stayed over. Inside the giant walk-in closet was a coffee table desk too, where Adrian sometimes left his papers lying around. He even read work documents while he changed clothes. My eyes trailed over the documents. Work contracts, schedules of CO receptions, payments to private assassins…
Wait. Payments to private assassins?
I picked up the papers as I scanned the details of three transactions, all made to private assassins. Well, not entirely private. They were CO agents, to be exact. I recognized the names from the time I spent scanning the lists to fulfill my contracts. But CO paid them, not the CEO.
Unless, of course, the CEO paid them in private.
Maybe he’d pay them to assist him on a mission. I checked the dates of the payment. Hmmm. I picked up one of the papers and glanced at another date. At the time, he wasn’t on a mission. But there was something significant about the day.
My heart sank.
No. It couldn’t be.
I checked the next paper, scrutinizing the date. Then I picked up the next paper and studied the date. There was no denying it. The dates were too convenient, and he hadn’t been on a CEO mission.
The dates Adrian paid the CO agents included the day I thought I was being watched at the pool, the day before Tristan and I had been ambushed in the private parking lot, and the day before I’d been chased on the way to Adrian’s apartment.
And at the bottom of each payment, on every transaction, there was a special note for the agent from Adrian: “Scare her, but don’t shoot her. Jane Lu is not to be harmed.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The coffee was cold.
I stirred the sugar into it anyway, hoping it dissolved. I didn’t think it would, but I was afraid if I left the table, Adrian would move away.
He sat across from me at the long dining table, with him at one end and me at the other. As far away from each other as possible.
Paris had been wonderful. But as soon as we’d returned, it was as if the night in Paris never happened. There was an odd sort of resignation about him, like he’d given up on something.
I’d tried to enjoy Paris as much as I could, but the payments kept cropping up in the back of my mind. I told Marge about them, but she knew even less about the orders than I did.
I cleared my throat and tapped the sugar spoon on the rim of my coffee cup. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” He kept his eyes fixed on the newspaper in front of him.
“I’m leaving today.”
“I am too.”
“Where are you going?”
“Somewhere.”
“Where?”
“It doesn’t concern you.”
I suppressed the urge to huff in indignation. And the urge to smash my coffee cup against the wall, to demand what on earth had happened to him since Paris, why he was having such yo-yo mood swings, and what had I done to him.
Instead, I drank my cold coffee.
I rifled through my documents. A contract to negotiate with a news mogul who wanted his ex-wife removed because she knew about his shady business practices. Classic case, textbook contract. I’d be back in three days, I guessed. Would he?
I glanced back up at Adrian. This was so not how I wanted to leave.
“Why have you been acting so distant?”
He flipped over a newspaper page. “I took you to Paris, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but ever since then you’ve been avoiding me. I’m not blind. I know when you’re upset about something.”
“You don’t know anything.”
I swallowed hard, his cold tone taking me aback. “Excuse me?”
He folded the paper up and put it back onto the table. Adrian peered up at me with a menacing glare. It was like something within him had snapped. “You think you’re so in control of yourself. You think you know everything, and you can manage it all on your own. Guess what? You can’t.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I got you the position as the contractor for the Rome contract, and your next position, and your next. It’s not because you’re good at being an executive, it’s because I’ve been getting you your contracts.”
My heart sank. All those payment details and the hidden knowledge the CEO was Adrian’s father rushed back to me. It doesn’t matter anymore, I tried to tell myself. Nothing he says matters anymore. He’s keeping secrets from you. Don’t bother wasting your heart on him. Maybe if I repeated the words enough I’d truly believe them.
Adrian’s own face fell after he’d said those words. “I didn’t mean it.”
“If you didn’t mean it, then why would you say it?”
“I never meant it.”
I glanced back down at my coffee. The air around us settled into a thick, tense silence. Neither of us seemed to be able to say anything else. I felt his gaze on me. Whether it was apologetic or resentful, I didn’t know. I didn’t want to find out.
I stood up from the table. “I’ll be going now.”
The chair creaked as Adrian got up from his seat. “Let me drive you.”
“Don’t.” I held a hand up, my eyes still downcast. “And don’t give me any more contracts. I don’t need your pity or your help.”
“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you did, didn’t you?” I suppressed the tremor threatening to shake my tone. “I never wanted a leg up in my career from you. You don’t have to do all those favors for me because you’re CEO. I never wanted any favors, Adrian.”
“Janey, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“At least you were being honest with me.” I laughed, low and mocking. “The kiss with Emma? When were you going to be honest?”
“I didn’t kiss her. It was no big deal.”
“And it was a big deal when Tristan kissed me?” I threw my hands up in the air. “Why did you never ask me afterward whether or not I wanted Tristan to kiss me?” The anger I’d trapped inside bubbled to the surface. “You can’t keep this relationship on a double standard. You can’t lie to me and then expect me to be honest with you.”
Adrian opened his mouth to reply, but then shut it, thinking better of it. He glared back at me with an expression as frustrated as my own.
“We drive each other crazy.” I lifted my hand with the ring, the diamond sparkling in the sunlight. “Why would you want to marry me? Emma would love to take my place, and she’s much more willing to abide by your secrecy.”
�
��Why do you keep bringing Emma into this? She has nothing to do with this. It’s you and your petty jealousy.”
“Me, jealous? You think I’m jealous?” I scoffed. “Like how you were with Tristan? The reason you wouldn’t talk to me for those months because you never bothered to ask what happened?”
“You didn’t either. Don’t blame this on me.”
“I never said I was blaming anyone!” I jabbed a finger into his chest. “If I blame you for anything, it’s you returning home to me each night with blood on your hands.”
“It’s a business! Don’t act like you don’t understand.”
“This isn’t working anymore.” My voice quieted. “We’re not working anymore.”
“You don’t mean it.”
“You can’t keep telling me what to do. We’re done.”
“We’ve already broken up, what, two times already? And we just get back together again.” Adrian pleaded, his voice straining. I heard his footsteps stride toward me. “There’s something that brings us back together, Janey.”
“What could possibly keep us together?”
He lifted my hand from my forehead and brought it down to my side. He took his other hand and tilted my chin upward. I finally yielded and examined him. “You’re impossible. You’re so stubborn. You’re always curious and always brave and always exactly what I need. You challenge me. You’ve been my best friend since we were six, terrified in the foster home and nervous during our first CO mission. No matter how worked up I get, you find a way to calm me down. I love you, Jane Lu.”
I drew in a quick intake of breath. He’d never said those words to me before. A raw emotion filled me, pure and unadulterated.
Fear.
“You don’t have to say it to keep me from leaving,” I murmured.
“I mean it.” He brushed my lower lip with his thumb, sending an electric thrill to the spot where he touched me. “I love you.”
“Adrian.” I shivered. The air was warm, but my heart was cold. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. I couldn’t keep letting him yank me back and forth like a yo-yo, playing with my emotions and whispering sweet words to comfort me. “I don’t believe you.”
His hand dropped from my lip. “What?”
“You don’t love me.” Ice water replaced warm blood in my body. The distant voice I’d practiced was finally nailed and I sounded as cold as he had before. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t keep lying to me. You wouldn’t say those three words after an argument just to calm me down. You don’t mean them.”
“What can I do to prove it?” Adrian grabbed my arm as I started to walk away. “No, no, we need more time…”
I yanked my arm from his grasp. “I have to go. We’ll talk when I get back.”
“You can’t leave!”
His cry was cut off by my slam of the door. I stormed away from his apartment, down the elevator, and out the double glass doors. I wiped away the traitorous wetness streaming my eyes without considering why I was crying. There wasn’t time. I had a mission more important than figuring out where I stood with Adrian.
Or so I tried to tell myself. The entire time I walked to the executive headquarters and rode the elevator up to the seventh floor, all I could think about was him. When I stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hallway, he still occupied my thoughts. Entering the quiet office spaces for the executives and sitting down at my computer, he was still on my mind.
This is ridiculous. I moved my mouse, whirring my computer back to life. At least he wasn’t my screensaver. I pushed the thought of Adrian and our broken relationship out of my mind, into a dark corner where I wouldn’t worry about him and wouldn’t have to see his face flashing behind my eyes.
His face flashed in front of my eyes instead.
Oh great. I forgot how I set my desktop wallpaper to a picture of him and me at Paris. The Eiffel Tower twinkled behind us. He’d kissed me then, like in my dream.
Stop it, Jane. I shook my head, banishing the memory from my mind. I pulled out my flash drive and inserted it in the computer. Folders appeared on my desktop screen. In one the folders was a detailed record of all of CO’s murders and clients in the past two years. At the least, the CIA and FBI could clear the names of innocents accused of being murderers and could keep an eye out on the clients’ activities.
As soon as the folder copied, I ejected the flash drive and pulled it out of the computer. I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I needed to catch the flight to…
I froze.
Emma.
She stood in front of me, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
“Hi, Emma.” I gulped. “What are you doing here?”
She pointed to my flash drive and raised an eyebrow. “Why did you copy the file?”
“I wanted a backup.”
“To take to DC?”
I shrugged and tried to move around her. She blocked me on both tries.
“First you couldn’t kill the FBI agent, then you start talking about how you shouldn’t murder anyone during the debate, and now you’re taking important CO files to Washington?” Emma’s voice wasn’t menacing anymore, it almost sounded afraid, like she feared what she would find out. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
“Why should I? You haven’t exactly been a friend to me lately.”
Emma unfolded her arms. “You don’t exactly have many friends anymore.”
So maybe I didn’t. Emma had befriended Jenna and several other girls in our executive class, but I’d remained distant from all of them. I’d thought Emma hated me! And by association the girls she was friends with didn’t exactly talk to me either. I didn’t care about being alone, since my free time was occupied by negotiating contracts and sending information to Marge. I was fine being by myself.
Maybe I didn’t have any more friends aside from Adrian and Lucy. Emma didn’t need to rub it in. My shoulders tensed, bracing myself for more biting words.
“Look. I don’t like you being with Adrian, and I don’t understand how you have so many contracts when I’m better than you in class.” She rolled her eyes. “But we can still talk to each other.”
“Uh, thanks Emma.” This was new. Maybe Emma still wasn’t nice, but at least she wasn’t hostile. “I’ll keep your words in mind.”
“So you should tell me what’s going on.” Emma’s eyes searched mine for answers. “You’ve been acting weird.”
Before I could stop her, she’d grabbed the flash drive from my hands. I snatched it back, but not before she’d seen the letters embedded on the outside—CIA.
Her eyes widened.
“It’s nothing.”
Emma backed away from me, shaking her head.
“It’s the initials of an organization I belong to. Current Information Access. Just a news source I subscribe to.” My words tumbled out as fast as I could manage.
“Or the Central Intelligence Agency. Jane, are you working for the CIA?”
“No!” It sounded more forceful than I’d intended. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a news source, Emma. There’s more than one organization with those initials.”
“Right.” Emma’s eyes remained dark. “You’re right.”
I checked the time on my watch. “I have to go, Emma. But I do want to be friends with you again.”
Emma didn’t seem concerned about friendship anymore, though. She was too busy studying the flash drive in my hand.
I’ll have to deal with her later, I thought as I walked to the airstrip where the jet waited for me.
Yet I had a feeling ‘later’ would never happen.
****
“Doesn’t the CIA have headquarters in D.C.? Why can’t we meet there?”
“Because nothing should disturb your deep cover. Anyone could be watching you.” Nevertheless, she pressed a phone into my palm, not exactly the most innocent thing if someone was watching me. Adrian’s payment plans still haunted me. Could he be watching me right now?
As if she could read my mind,
Marge answered, “I am concerned about the payments he made before your attacks. This phone connects you to both the CIA’s number and mine. If anything should happen to you, another CIA agent will pick you up and take you back to the nearest headquarters.”
I nodded and pocketed the phone. “I’ll call you when I have my newest contract information on the flash drive too.”
Marge pulled the scarf around her head tighter and pushed up her clear frames. Her many disguises were always completely different. Today she rocked a cheetah-print scarf and big librarian glasses, the kind Skeers wore. Her fur coat and pencil skirt lent her the look of an Upper East Side socialite. “Yes. As soon as the contract is finished, please call to say the flash drive is ready to be picked up. And please call if anything goes wrong.”
I closed my hand around the phone in my pocket. Nothing would go wrong. I was fine on my own.
“I have a meeting with my client soon.” I slung my bag over my shoulder as I stood up from the bench. “See you afterward, Marge.”
“Nonsense. Follow me.”
I raised an eyebrow as she got up from the bench and beckoned me toward a recently parked black car. The car wasn’t locked, and a driver waited inside. I followed her into the car. She tapped the driver’s shoulder from the back seat and, without a word, he started driving.
“Where are you headed?” She asked as she pulled off the disguise and restored her normal appearance. I handed her the address of my client, and she read it to the driver. “Now. You know the terms of the contract with the CIA. One year, no more and no less. Should your contract end prematurely, I hope you understand you will have to serve the additional time for Central Intelligence through another mission.”
“I understand.” I managed a small smile in response. “I’m just glad for the chance of a new start from the CIA.”
“And you shall receive one, Miss Lu, as soon as the contract is over. You will not be sent to prison; you will not face criminal charges; you will receive payment and a new lease on life from the government. You will have a chance to start over.”
The promise of her words enticed me. “No more murder, no more secrets.”