by MF Isaacs
I pulled her down the stairs, completely ignoring the fact that she turned me down. “I can run the errands for you tomorrow. Other than meeting with the principal, I don’t have anything to do. Please stay and watch a movie?” With full bellies, neither of us managed to stay awake for the whole movie. It was after midnight when I woke up snuggled with her on the couch. I slowly scooped her up and carried her to my bed. For the second night in a row, I shared a bed with Natalie and both nights all we did was sleep.
She was too focused on sneaking out of the McMann house the following morning to notice her missing car. I tried to explain that none of them would have an issue with her staying the night, but she was convinced it would make working with them uncomfortable. While I drove her home so she could shower and change for work, she went through all the things she needed to get done. The main thing that she needed was groceries and a stop at Target. I was willing to grocery shop without her, but there was no way in hell I was going to try and pick up her stuff at Target. I’ve been in that store and they don’t just have one kind of toothpaste, they have a whole fucking section devoted just to toothpaste; so that was a big fat no. Plus, it was only three days until Christmas so Target was going to be a mad house. If all else failed, I would take her there after work; it might not be that bad if we could go together.
NATALIE
He is actually going to do my grocery shopping for me, I think I’m in love. It is not that I hate grocery shopping, it’s that I can never just stick to the list. I kid myself every fucking time, but it never fails, I end up grabbing one end cap item after another. I know if I could just stick to the list, I would probably lose a dress size. Plus, he wouldn’t take my money, I tried giving him my credit card and he laughed at me. I’ll figure out a way to pay him back, maybe he’ll let me take him out to dinner after we stop at Target.
It is three days until Christmas and I am suddenly realizing that I haven’t bought a single fucking gift. The last couple of years I have been able to get my shopping done during lunch breaks at the mall. My list of people to buy for is usually pretty short: mom; dad; my sister, Caroline; her husband, Greg; nephew Alec; niece Ellie. This year, I found myself wanting to add to the list: Curtis and Calvin for sure, but it would be weird to buy Calvin a gift and not one for Sierra. And if I am going to buy Calvin and Sierra a gift I should probably buy Steve and Hannah one too. If I buy them one, I should get one for Luke and Amy. That would leave only Kyler without one and I wouldn’t do that because that is just rude. But seriously, what the hell do you buy people who don’t need anything?
Thankfully, the day went buy quickly with two cars sold. I worked most of the day side by side with Steve, it was fun until Calvin let him know in passing that I had spent the night with Curtis. Apparently getting up early and sneaking out didn’t fool anyone. The minute Steve heard that, he looked at me differently and for no other reason than that my mood soured. I didn’t expect him to open his arms and call me family, but I’d been hopeful he would acknowledge it positively. From the minute Calvin spilled the news, Steve didn’t say a single word to me.
I was still happy to see Curtis when he arrived to get me after work, but it wasn’t for the reason he was expecting. I didn’t say goodbye to anyone as I hustled out of the sales office. Curtis was already headed to the main door when I came tumbling out. I was trying to hold myself together, but knew I needed some time alone, “Hi Curtis. Can you just drop me off at my car? I am not feeling up to hitting Target.” I avoided his touch as I made my way toward his new car.
“Um. Uh. I can just take you home if you don’t want to go shopping.” He was clearly confused with my abrupt attitude. It wasn’t his fault his brother acted like me staying the night with him was the worst thing in the world. As I tried to open the locked passenger door, I heard Steve calling Curtis’ name.
“Can you please unlock the car, so I can get in?” What I wanted to say was, “I don’t want to stand out here while you have a conversation.” I could see the confusion on his face, but I honestly wasn’t in the right frame of mind to explain things to him. Plus, I honestly didn’t care what Steve had to say to him. Thankfully, he did what I asked and unlocked the car so I could sit inside while he talked to his brother. I tried to ignore the two of them, but when I watched the hand gestures I knew it wasn’t a nice conversation. They were out there for a lot longer than I would have expected, at one point I almost jumped out and called a cab. I just wanted to change into my yoga pants and take off my bra.
Whatever Steve had to say clearly rattled Curtis because when he finally climbed in behind the wheel, he didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to talk about it, I just needed him to take me to my car so I would have a way to get to work in the morning. When he pulled into my apartment complex and there was no sign of Maisie, I had to ask. “Curtis, where is my car?” just like all the other times I have asked him he doesn’t give me a straight answer, “Seriously, I need to get my car so I can drive myself to work in the morning.”
“The car will be waiting for you in the morning.” He wouldn’t look me in the eye, which was starting to piss me off more than his brother ever did. As I jumped out of the car as soon as he whispered the words, “Good night Nat.” Hot stuff was gone, now I was just Nat. Confused as fuck, I made my way into the studio apartment I now called home.
As I closed the door behind me, I fell back against it and let the tears fall. My heart hurt as I tried to figure out what Steve could have possibly said that would have caused Curtis to no longer want to be my friend. I hadn’t done anything to piss him off, I hadn’t said anything inappropriate, I had no clue what happened.
Seems like it is the story of my life, people are so willing to walk away from me without so much as a backwards glance. I can’t tell you how many guys just stopped calling or how many girlfriends just stopped putting in the effort. I thought Curtis was going to be different, I told him about my shitty friends so I thought he understood. Fucking sucks. I thought we were building something good. I thought we were taking it slow which meant it had a better chance of working out. I can’t think of the last time I just hung out with someone I was physically attracted to, normally I would have already gotten naked with them.
I gave myself a half hour to mope and cry. When my time was up, I changed into my yoga pants, took off my bra, and headed for the kitchen. My heart hurt and my eyes leaked a little when I saw everything he’d gotten and put away for me. He stayed fairly close to the list, added a few extra items but they weren’t all junk food like I would have done. He’d paid extra for the already cut veggie snacks and the name brand stuff, which seemed silly but the reality is, it made me feel special.
CURTIS
Fucking Steve. I was excited to take Natalie to Target. Not true, I was excited to spend time with Natalie, it just so happened that we’d be doing that while at Target. When I saw her barreling out the door at the dealership, I knew something was wrong. I felt it before he called my name, it was delayed but I felt it. For two seconds I was confused, but then it dawned on me that my brother was the cause of her crushed look. Words were stuck in my throat as my twin brother made his way toward me. I was caught off guard when he tried to get in my face. “Seriously, you seriously had her spend the fucking night at my in-law’s house. What the fuck Curtis! It was less than two weeks ago that you had Callie and Will there. Don’t you have any respect for them? Yourself? What about her? You do know she works for them, right? Do you know that Cal basically announced to the whole showroom that you fucked her last night?”
This whole thing was fucked up. I was stuck between agreeing with him and wanting to punch him. It’s nobody’s business who I share my bed with, except when the bed is in their house they kind of do. Shit. Damn it. It didn’t matter that I didn’t fuck her or even touch her sexually in anyway, they don’t know that. “I’m sorry. Fuck. Steve, I didn’t fuck her. We fell asleep watching a movie.”
“Whatever.” Just like I thought, it doesn’t
matter what we did or didn’t do. We stood toe to toe, both of us reeling from our thoughts.
“I’m going to take her home. When do you guys get to start moving in? Do you need help with anything? Maybe I should just stay in a hotel until my condo is ready?” I can feel the panic coming and need to get away.
“We’re basically already moved in; she was going to unpack boxes today. I don’t think we need any help. I’ll let you know when I get home. You know if you stayed at a hotel, it would crush Amy. Just cool the whole,” he nodded his head toward my car, “thing so it’s not awkward for her.”
“I hear you. Call me later if you guys need help. See ya bro.” I slowly made my way to the driver’s door trying to make sense of everything Steve just said and wondering what her take is on everything.
The drive was silent. I could feel her emotions rolling off her, I felt like one wrong step and the top was going to blow. I’d been around enough to know there was nothing I could say at this exact moment that was going to make her feel better. It was best to let her process, and hopefully calm down, before talking to her about what happened.
After dropping her off, I just sat in the parking lot. My thoughts were crazy twisted; I couldn’t focus on one thing long enough to decide what to do. I needed a run, so I drove back to the McMann house to change into my reflective running gear. I drove back to Natalie’s apartment and parked the car in a place where she would find it in the morning. She already had the spare key, even if she didn’t know it. I dropped it in her purse the day I bought it.
I took some time to stretch before running the 10 miles back to the McMann house. When I got there, Luke was attempting to wrap some presents in the dining room. He told me to take a seat, his tone of voice left no room for argument. I suddenly felt like a kid again, waiting to get yelled at for something I didn’t mean to do. As soon as he finished taping the last gift he took a seat across from me, “I am not, for one second, going to pretend I have any idea what is going through your head. I am going to tell you exactly what went through my head when I met Amy. Has anyone told you our story?”
I slowly nodded my head, it was a tragic story that thankfully ended with the two of them happily married with their three kids. But in the process of getting there, Luke’s Dad killed Amy’s Dad. Then Luke had to kill his own Dad to protect Amy from his attack. Amy had been an elite athlete whose scholarship was cut off due to the injuries he had caused.
“Good, I hate telling that story. But I would have if you didn’t already know it. In less than 24 hours I knew I was willing to do anything to protect her. I didn’t have an example of what a good marriage looked like, hell I didn’t even know what it was like to be a good boyfriend. But I knew I would do anything it took to be the best for her. I will tell you the same thing I told Calvin and the same thing I will tell Kyler when his time comes. None of us can tell you what a good marriage, or relationship, is because it will be different for each of us. The only thing I can tell you is, once you figure it out for yourself, you have to work for it. You have to stand up for it. And you can’t doubt it.” I know instantly what he’s talking about, Steve doesn’t get to decide for me. Asshole, I let his words, his opinion cause me to doubt myself and what I’ve been feeling. Luke smiled at me as soon as he saw that I understood his meaning.
I jumped up from the table ready to jump in the shower so I could go get my girl. At the doorway, I turned back to Luke to find him standing at the corner of the table. He beat me to it, “Don’t thank me. Not for this anyway, it isn’t necessary.” I followed his requested and hit the shower.
While in the shower, I went rounds with myself about whether I needed to call her before heading over or if I should just show up. I know what Steve said to me, I don’t know what he said to her. After my talk with Luke, I know I need to repair whatever damage Steve’s words or actions did. As I made my way toward the front door, I could see that Calvin and Sierra were heading out as well. “Hey, where are you two headed?”
I waited for an answer while Calvin helped Sierra with her coat. “We’re heading out for a few last-minute Christmas gifts. What are you doing?” Sierra answered while Calvin put his own coat on.
“I’m headed over to Natalie’s. I need to fix things. The plan had been to go to Target, until Steve fucked it up. Now I just hope I’m not too late.” The more time I had to think about it, the more pissed I got at Steve. I doubted myself and that allowed him the opportunity to get to me. Now, I was listening to Luke’s words of wisdom over the doubts I allowed my twin’s words to cause.
“Wow, I’ve never seen the two of you fight. Should we pull out the boxing gloves later?” Calvin clearly thought he was funny.
“Maybe, it depends on whether she’ll see me when I get there. If she won’t open the door for me, I’ll be forced to kick his ass. I didn’t say or do shit when he fell face first into loving Hannah.” That comment made me pause, instantly questioning where the hell that came from. I couldn’t possibly love Natalie after knowing her for such a short time. Suddenly uncomfortable, I made my way out the front door before Calvin or Sierra could say anything.
I had the heater in the Explorer turned on full blast, but it did nothing to kill the bitter chill that was rolling in. If Natalie agreed to heading out, we would have to take the new car. I decided not to call before heading over, I was afraid she would tell me not to come. My twin thing told me Steve did or said something, it didn’t tell me what. Regardless of what he did, it was my job to fix it and to do that, I needed her to open the door for me.
I showed up with no flowers, no gifts, nothing but me and I hoped it was enough. I took a few cleansing breaths before I build enough courage to knock. The movement I had heard before knocking quickly stopped at the sound of my knocking. I stood there for a few minutes before knocking again. When she still didn’t answer the door, I pulled my cell phone out and called her. I could hear her phone ringing through her door. I could hear her movement again but it was followed by her phone going silent as she sent me to voicemail. I stood there lost, I didn’t know what to do.
I headed back to the Explorer, it was too cold to stand outside while I tried to come up with a plan. I knew the battery was toast the second I opened the driver’s side door, the dome light was flickering and the door ding sound muted. I had to try starting it just to be sure, the silent click of turning the key confirmed my suspicion. Climbing out, my frustration already mounting, I realized I didn’t even have my key to the new car. At that moment, I was stuck outside in freezing temperature with one car that wouldn’t start and the other that I didn’t have a key too. “Fucking Steve.” It might not all be his fault, but in the moment, I was blaming him for everything.
I slowly made my way back up the stairs to Natalie’s apartment. It wasn’t the doors fault everything was going to shit, but you wouldn’t know it by the way I was knocking. I figured she would get tired of hearing me knock and eventually open the door. Thankfully, she didn’t make me wait, she opened as soon as I started knocking. I saw her red rimmed eyes as soon as she opened the door. “Hi Curtis.”
“I’m sorry hot stuff, can I please come in? I need to explain some things but I would rather do that while inside because it’s fucking cold out here.” I could feel the heat escaping out the door as we stood there face to face. I don’t know what she was looking for but she must have found it because she stood back and allowed me to enter. I spoke before she could, “Get your shoes on, we need to get to Target before they close. I know you have work tomorrow and I am not willing to pick out tampons for you. Let’s get Target done and then I’ll try to fix everything that went sideways today, please?”
She shocked the shit out of me by doing exactly what I’d asked. Within minutes she had on fur lined boots with her yoga pants, a wool coat on over her sweatshirt and a chunky knit hat. I filled her in on the dead battery issue as we made our way out to the Discovery. I knew the question regarding where her car is was coming and after the issues today, I
didn’t want to tell her. We talked about our shopping lists on the way, the huge fucking elephant took up the back seat nicely.
Walking into Target she tried to get a separate cart but that wasn’t happening. I had plenty on my list of things to get, but the reality is I wanted her to help me pick stuff. We stopped at the bargain bins at the front of the store, she picked out a few little kid items for her niece and nephew. We took turns pushing the cart through the clothes. The last time I bought clothes for someone was the dresses Callie refused to wear, so I wasn’t sure about picking anything out for the ladies on my list. She picked a couple casual sweaters for her mom and sister. She tried to pick out a couple ties for Calvin and Luke, but ended up putting them back. She admitted feeling weird about buying gifts for the McManns and everyone she considered my circle of people, her words. I assured her she did not need to buy any of them gifts.
Two plus hours later, we had a cart overflowing with everything from the latest board games for Amy and Luke, and her parents. Picture frames for both sets of newlyweds, and her sister and her husband. A few Xbox games for Kyler. Clothes for her niece, nephew, and Sierra and Calvin’s unborn baby. I threw in a couple lap blankets because they were so cozy and I wasn’t sure I would have time to make it out to find something for Natalie. We bought scissors, tape, bows, gift tags, and wrapping paper.