Chapter Sixteen
Reese
He’s slipping away from me, the distance between us breathes the same way I do. But who else can I blame except myself? I asked him to kiss me, and maybe in my mind I thought he was going to. And then Eli cried out, and Thorin became shuttered. Whatever fun we’d had yesterday has been forgotten, and in its place is a veritable awkwardness. There’s no teasing, no flirting, no laughter—just a quiet that’s too loud. Yesterday, I was glad Mya had chosen Thorin to do this with me, she was right when she said I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a stranger, but today I get the impression he wishes he was elsewhere. Not that he’s distracted. He executes every exercise with precision, and even takes an interest in how the computers show exactly which muscles are activated during each exercise. I can tell he’s enjoying it, but he’s just keeping his distance from me, and I have no idea if that should hurt or not. I’ve told myself a thousand times that we’re co-parenting, that being more is just too big a risk, but being with him, around him, in his space for the last two days has made me question the validity of my own argument. What if we tried? What if we just…started over? Could two people with a history like ours do that, or are we destined to be stuck in the roles we’ve been given? We’ve been forced into this, but I know, given the circumstances, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love Eli more than I thought I could. But what if Thorin told me what I wanted to hear, and feels obligated to stick around? What if this isn’t the life he wants at all, and just doesn’t know how to tell me? That can’t be right though, I see him with Eli, and notice how much they adore each other, it’s so palpable I feel it touch me when I witness it. Unless, it’s just me he doesn’t want in his life.
Ugh. I’m overthinking it, all of it, and it’s spiking my anxiety.
I rub my temples, and take a drink from my water. I feel a migraine coming on, and the timing can’t be worse. I still have a few more exercises to get through myself. We’ve done all the sequences—grouped by muscle group, HIIT, cardio-intensive and weight-intensive—and now we’re finishing up both mine and Thorin’s single exercises. Mya has been watching Eli, but I’ve been sure to feed him and hold him when I can, his routine is so out of sorts and I’m already worried about righting it when we get home.
“Everything okay?”
Mya’s voice snaps me from my daze, and I muster up a pathetic excuse for a smile. “Fine, just tired. Do you have some iBuprofen with you?”
“Headache?” She knows me. I nod, and sway side-to-side with Eli in my arms. He’s watching Thorin, letting out a little squeal every time he hears his voice. Thorin catches it, and smiles, but as soon as our eyes lock, his smile falters, and yep, that definitely hurts.
“So, I have a question.” Mya hands me two pills, and I gulp them down, praying to nip this in the bud before I’m forced to lock myself in a dark room.
“Shoot,” I tell her.
“What happened after dinner last night?”
“What do you mean?”
She quirks a brow. “I mean, last night I left the two of you in a pool of sexual tension I was sure you’d act on, and this morning, you’re barely speaking to each other.”
“Firstly, I’d never have sex with an infant in the same room, and yes, I know women who breastfeed do it all the time, but it just weirds me out on so many levels, and secondly,” I pause, look over at Thorin, and exhale loudly. “I asked him to kiss me, and then Eli interrupted, and now he’s being weird.”
“In other words,” Mya sighs, “you have no idea what’s going on, but you’re overthinking it like a madwoman right now.”
“Pretty much. But whatever, we have one night left here, and then everything will go back to how it was before. I can forget about asking him to kiss me and—”
“And then what?” Mya leans closer, so as to not draw attention to us. “You two are like frecking magnets, you think you’ll be able to keep things platonic once you’re back home?”
“I don’t know, Mya,” I reply a little too loudly. I’m exasperated enough as it is, I don’t need her feeding my doubts and absurd thoughts any more. “And why are you pushing this, anyway? You don’t even know how he feels about me. For all I know, I’m just the woman he’s stuck raising a baby with.”
“Is that how you feel?”
Mya and I whip around, and I freeze. I didn’t even see Thorin move from his spot in front of the camera. I stopped watching him when the thoughts in my head started fighting for space.
“You think I see you as just the ‘woman I’m stuck raising a baby with’? Really, Reese?”
Crap.
“Thorin, I—”
“If that’s how I saw you, I wouldn’t be here,” he says simply. “I wouldn’t…” His words trail off, and he scratches his chin. “You know what, just forget it.” He doesn’t give me a chance to respond. His back is to me, and he’s walking away. Then they’re calling me for my last few recordings. I go through the motions, doing what my body knows, muscle memory kicking in. I switch the rest off, and block Thorin out until our tech team has everything they need. Mya and I test the beta version of the app, and for the first time all afternoon, I’m giddy again.
“We should have the final bells and whistles on in a few days,” Luke, our head developer, says. “We’ve also set up a super easy dashboard for you and Mya, so you can add or remove content whenever you want. And you’ll have access to all the sales and earnings reports, and you’ll know exactly how many people have bought and downloaded your app.”
Mya high-fives Luke. “Yes! This is so cool.”
“Did you want to show Thorin?” Luke asks me.
I look around, my brows furrowed. He should have been out of the changing rooms by now, and I can’t see him anywhere in the open-plan studio.
“Thorin!” Mya yells. “Get your sexy ass out here, and come check this out!”
We wait, and after five minutes of no response, I start looking for him, only to come up empty. A young tech assistant comes from the reception area, and frowns. “Mr. Decker left about forty minutes ago, I thought he told you he had to go.”
“Oh. No, he didn’t, but thanks.” I walk back towards Mya. “He left.” I smile up at Luke. “He was probably tired. I’ll just catch him at the hotel, and show him the app when we get back to Texas.”
With the pleasantries out the way, Mya and I pack up our things, thank the team, and catch an Uber back to our hotel. My knee bounces the entire drive to the hotel, and when Mya grabs it, I jump.
“Relax. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.”
I don’t tell her that I have a feeling in my gut that Thorin’s actually on his way to the airport, and not the hotel. Because if she asks me why, I have no answer. The whole drive back, and in the elevator up to our floor, I hope I’m wrong, that he wouldn’t just leave. But when Mya follows me into our room, I see all his things are gone, and all he left me is a note that reads,
I’m sorry, I had to go. We’ll talk when you get home.
“What does that even mean?” Mya asks.
“I don’t know.” Something’s niggling at me, but I can’t place it. I try to shove it from my mind for the time being, not wanting to dwell. I learned the hard way that dwelling on things makes us act irrationally, and now is not the time to act out. “How about I bath this handsome man, and we grab an early dinner, just the three of us?”
“Psshh, a date with that little cutey patooty? I am in.”
For the rest of the night, I ignore my phone, order room service, and enjoy Mya’s company.
“So, we’re just about done with what we need to do in the city, but how about we spend one more day here? We can shop until we drop, go see all the sights.”
I think it over. Another day off doesn’t sound like a bad idea. In fact, it sounds perfect. I tell myself it has nothing to do with avoiding Thorin after what happened last night and today so many times, I almost believe it.
“I think Eli would love that.” I sha
ke his little hand, and get a toothless grin.
“Just Eli, huh?” Mya teases. “You going to teach him to use that black Amex of yours? Spring is coming, and he’ll need a new wardrobe.”
“God, I probably need some new stuff too. Can’t remember the last time I went on a proper shopping trip, and actually spent a decent chunk of money.” I usually buy my clothes from the stores in Horseshoe Bay, mostly thrift store finds, even though I have money to buy clothes from designer stores in Austin. I’m not a big spender, much to Mya’s displeasure.
“Then it’s settled, tomorrow we’ll paint the town red, and make a dent in that bank account of yours. Right, Eli?”
He kicks his legs, and I kiss his feet. “Think you have his vote,” I laugh. “Besides, we might as well have a little more fun before the launch. I’ll deal with Thorin when we get back.”
I pull into the ranch’s driveway, surprised to find the lights on in the main house. Mya, Eli and I spent the morning shopping—I may have gone overboard with clothes for both him and I—and then we caught the late night flight back to Austin. It’s just over an hour’s drive to Horseshoe Bay, so by the time we arrive, it’s well past nine p.m. There are two other trucks in the driveway, Thorin’s and the one the guys bought to drive around in while they’re here, and a Lexus.
“Guess Thorin decided to have some guests over,” Mya says, unclipping her seatbelt when I put my truck in park.
“I recognize the trucks, but not the Lexus,” I remark. Unease slithers up my spine, but I ignore it, taking Eli’s carrier from the back seat. Mya makes quick work with our suitcases, and I haven’t yet taken a step towards my house when the front door of the main house flies open.
“Where have you been?” Thorin barrels downs the porch. “I’ve been trying to call you all day, Reese!”
“I accidentally left my phone at the hotel,” I lie. I actually switched it off. “We decided to spend the day in the city.”
“No shit,” he snaps. He looks disheveled, his hair haphazardly thrown into a bun, bags under his eyes.
“Watch your tone,” Mya warns.
Thorin glares, and I feel my pulse skip, my own anger warming my veins.
“You didn’t think to let me know you’d be spending the day in the city?” He asks me.
“You left, did you expect me to just drop everything and follow you?”
He folds his arms across his chest, his white shirt stretching taut over his chest. “I left you a note. The least you could have done is let me know you’d be coming home later than planned.”
I scoff. “The least I could have done? That’s rich. Last I checked, my comings and goings have nothing to do with you, and I repeat, you left.”
I move to walk past him, but he blocks my path. “We need to talk.”
“Not when you’re like this we don’t.” The sound of laughter travels around the side of the house.
“Decided to have a party?” Mya asks. “And here I thought you had a good reason for leaving the way you did.”
“Carson invited some people over, I’ve been inside waiting for you.”
“As you can see, we’re fine, Thorin. I’d like to get Eli ready for bed, we’ve had a long day.”
This time when I move, he lets me pass, and follows me. The light from the bonfire lights the way, and when we round the corner, I see Benji, Carson and Fletch. And then I notice my front door is wide open.
“What the…” I quicken my pace, and entering the doorway, I spot Jessica, and two other women snooping around.
“What the hell is this?”
Jessica’s head snaps up from where she’s digging for god knows what in the living room. “Oh, you’re home.” She smiles. “Ladies,” she turns to her friends, one blonde and the other a red-head. “This is Reese, the girl I was telling you about.” They giggle, clearly a little drunk. Jessica’s smile broadens when she sees Thorin. “There you are. I was wondering when you were going to stop pouting and come outside.”
“Is there a reason you’re in here, Jess?” Thorin’s voice is steely, with a hint of confusion. He probably had no idea Jessica was in here, either. Apparently, he’s been pouting all night.
“We needed the bathroom,” the blonde says. She fluffs her hair over her shoulder, and sticks out her chest. “This house was closer.”
I walk further inside, and feel Thorin at my back, Mya at my side.
“And what? You decided to look through my things?” My hackles rise when Jessica takes a step closer.
“No harm in looking, Reese. Awfully convenient that you live here, though.”
High school Jessica was my absolute nightmare, but I won’t fear her now. She can’t hurt me.
“You’re not welcome here, cadela,” Mya says. Cadela means ‘bitch’ in Portuguese, and when Mya starts calling someone names in her mother tongue, it never means anything good. “Either you get out, or I throw you out, all three of you.” Her expression is hard, and I have no doubt she’ll follow through on her threat. Wouldn’t be the first time Mya has gotten into a catfight.
“But we’re guests,” Jessica replies. “Thorin invited us.”
“Like hell I did,” he retorts. His body vibrates with anger, the pulsating waves hitting my back. “You heard Mya, get the fuck out.”
Jessica pouts. “So mean, Thorin. We really were just looking around. I wanted to see what became of our little Peppa Pig.” Jessica’s friends titter, and my body stiffens, every muscle tightening. Peppa Pig. I haven’t heard that name in years, and I thought if I ever did, I’d be immune to how it affected me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It rankles, shakes the gilded cage high school me was placed in to be mocked, and laughed at like a social experiment gone so very wrong.
That girl is dead, I remind myself, and I have no plans of resurrecting her.
“Must be nice,” she muses, a devilish gleam in her eyes. “Playing house with Thorin, baby and all.”
The anger inside me quickly turns to rage, and if I weren’t carrying Eli, I’d launch myself at Jessica and throat punch her for what she’s implying. For what she’s forgetting. Instead, I step closer to her, until we’re almost nose-to-nose. She has a few inches on me in her hooker heels, but it doesn’t deter me. “You blew, and blew, and blew, Jess,” I mock, because really, she blew her way through high school. “And look, my house is still standing. You can say all the shit you want about me, or to me, but to disrespect the dead, and assume this is the life I wanted?” I look her up and down, disgust coating the inside of my throat, my mouth, my teeth. “That’s shameful.”
My eyes burn, but I fight, with everything inside me, not to show this bitch any kind of weakness. Thorin brushes past me, and grabs Jessica by the arm. “Get. The. Fuck. Off. My. Property.” He grits it out, the vein in his neck popping, his face almost purple.
“B-but, Carson said—”
“I don’t give a fuck what he said!” Thorin yells. Eli startles, and starts crying, but it’s Mya who takes him and walks into the nursery. Benji appears at the door, and so does Fletch. They each grab one of Jessica’s friends, and wordlessly escort them out. “If I don’t see your tail lights disappearing down the drive way in five minutes, I will call the cops, Jess, and have your ass arrested for trespassing. You might be stuck in high school, but the rest of us grew the fuck up.”
My heart gallops when he walks her out, and all but shoves her over the threshold. She stumbles in her heels, and I hear her friends’ protests as Benji and Fletch walk them to what I assume is Jessica’s Lexus. Carson strolls in, wobbling on shaky legs, eyes red. “Dude, why’d you send them away? We were having a party.”
Thorin snaps, and pushes him against the wall. “They came into Reese’s house,” he says between clenched teeth. “And that bitch disrespected my dead brother and his dead wife.”
Carson pales, his eyes shooting to me. “Shit, Reese, I’m sorry. I didn’t think they’d come in here, said they needed to piss.”
“This was the las
t time,” Thorin tells him. “You either get your shit together, Cars, or you’re done. We are done.”
Whoa, that came out of nowhere real fast.
“C’mon, Thorin, don’t be like that. It was a mistake, we were just having fun.”
“I’ve already spoken to Alex, and the boys. One more strike, and you’re done. You hear me?”
I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Was Carson the reason Thorin left so fast? Did something happen while he was away? He did tell us at dinner that Carson went off the rails during the last tour, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. Carson lifts his hands just as Benji reappears. “Get him home,” Thorin tells him. “Now.”
Benji nods, and leads Carson outside. Minutes later, the sound of tires shooting gravel travels through the door. Thorin’s breathing is labored, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so angry. Fletch walks back in, and for some odd reason, he heads straight for the nursery to check on Mya and Eli. I’m unable to move, unable to quiet the rush of noise in my head.
“We need to talk,” Thorin tells me. I shake my head, and realize my entire body is trembling. “I’m going to check on Eli,” I say, my voice hoarse. “I need to check on Eli.”
Thorin grabs my hand, and squeezes, but I hardly feel it.
“Fletch and Mya have him, but you and I, we need to talk.”
“About what?” I meet his tumultuous gaze. “What is there to talk about, Thorin?”
He pulls me closer, and my feet move. He looks down at me, and his eyes, they hold so much more than anger. They’re tortured, and I have a feeling it’s about more than Carson. It’s the reason he left without an explanation.
He exhales loudly, and says, “Everything.”
Under The Same Sky (Horseshoe Bay Book 1) Page 16