by Melody Anne
“It’s not enough, we need to get her into the OR and open her up,” Kian replied. The ER doctor nodded as Kian turned toward the OR to prep for surgery.
Just then, the woman gasped, and he felt her fingers gripping his arm. He stopped, tuning out all the sounds around him as he looked into the woman’s face. She was staring at him, and there was something so familiar about her eyes. He was trying to put it all together, but it was just on the edges of his memory.
“Kian . . .” The word came from her mouth in a gurgle of blood, a mere whisper that might as well have been a shout.
He leaned down. His brows furrowed as he tried to recognize this battered woman. Why did it feel as if he were suddenly in a tunnel? The world felt as if it was slowly shrinking in on him, and he didn’t know why.
“Kian,” she said again, and he leaned in even farther as a nurse tried to stop him. He wasn’t wearing enough protective gear, and she was openly bleeding. He didn’t care. For some reason he didn’t understand, he needed to hear whatever it was she needed to say.
As he drew nearer, he realized he recognized this woman. Pamela. She was Roxie’s sister, and he’d foolishly spent one night with her when he was at an all-time low in his life. He’d regretted it instantly and had avoided her ever since. But now that she was on his table, guilt filled him at his behavior.
“I’m here,” he told her, coming out of his own head to focus on her instead.
“She’s your daughter, Kian. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I messed up in a real bad way this time,” she said, her words so quiet no one else in the room could have possibly heard her.
Kian felt as if his heart had lodged in his throat as her stilted, pained words processed in his brain.
“My child?” he questioned as he looked down at her stomach. They’d been together four years ago. A pregnancy certainly didn’t last that long.
“No. Lily,” the woman gasped. Kian could see she was fading quickly, and she had just stated words that could literally change his life forever. This had to be a mistake. Still, he found his head swiveling for just a moment toward the small child across the room whom the staff were frantically working on.
“Pam . . .” he said on a sigh. He was desperate as he gripped her hand, her fingers slowly loosening on him. She was letting go, and he wanted to shake her.
“You and Roxie need to raise her. She’s yours now, and this baby, too, if she makes it.”
Kian opened his mouth to speak when her fingers went limp and her eyes rolled back in her head. He was in such shock, he froze for what had to be only a fraction of a second. At least the nursing staff was more alert than he was.
“We’re losing her. Asystole. Start compressions.” Kian needed to save this woman. He needed to get more answers and know if she was telling him the truth about Lily being his daughter. He couldn’t think about that, though, as he tried to save her. He had to be in doctor mode.
“We need to do a pericardiocentesis now, get me the supplies.” He began moving again, more determined than ever to save Pam, to figure out exactly what was happening. He was almost afraid to look back over at the young child he’d just been told was his.
Could it be true? Sadly, he realized, there was a possibility. He had slept with Pam, even though he should never have opened that door. But how could she have possibly hidden a child from him?
He was filled with shame when he realized how easy it would be to do just that. He hadn’t thought of her once since their night together. Instead of dwelling on that, he focused on trying to save her so she could talk to him more.
As Kian finished his procedure, he expected her to regain her heartbeat, but it was fruitless, even though the tireless staff continued the chest compressions.
“We can’t pick up the baby’s heartbeat. If we can’t save Mom, then at least let’s try to save the baby,” Nurse Ridgley said in a moment of clarity.
Kian didn’t want to admit she was right, not at all, but he knew Pamela wasn’t savable, not with her injuries. They were pumping her heart, but she was already gone. He had to shake off the almost-inconsolable grief and try to save her unborn child.
The focus in the trauma bay changed immediately as they prepped for an emergency C-section. Kian placed the scalpel to Pamela’s belly and made an incision that he could have done with his eyes closed. Intently focused, he reached in and pulled out a lifeless newborn. The background noise of the trauma bay seemed to dim to a hush. Kian placed the baby on the table and attempted futile resuscitation for what seemed like an eternity.
Pamela lay still on the stretcher, her eyes shut, and Kian cradled her three-pound infant in his arms for just a moment before laying her against Pam’s chest, both of them completely motionless.
“Please cover them,” Kian said as he turned away. Nurse Ridgley quickly did as he asked. This was the part of his job he couldn’t stand. It didn’t matter how many times he lost a patient, even if that patient hadn’t started out as his, he would always question himself, always wonder if there was more he could have done. And in this case, he had a feeling he’d be doing a lot of soul-searching, and hitting the books on any procedure that could have saved this family—his possible family. He looked over to where his only surviving patient lay still on her stretcher. The detectives had confirmed that the child’s name was indeed Lily, and said they’d called her only surviving relative—her aunt, Roxie.
In the past few minutes, he’d heard her name twice. Once from Pam’s lips and once from the detectives. It had sent a pang through him both times. Roxie. The only woman he’d ever loved. And now he’d see her again. He wasn’t ready for any of this. So, he shook his head and pushed her from his mind.
Though he wanted to run and hide, wanted to think Pamela’s last words had been delivered in a delirious uttering of nonsensical sentences, as he gazed at the young girl, he knew she was his. He just didn’t know how to process that, or how to understand what he was going to do about it. For now, though, he knew he had to help her, had to be at her side.
Finally, he moved, stepping up to the stretcher as he ran his fingers through her soft brown hair. She was still as he held in the tears desperately wanting to escape in a show of the powerful emotion he was feeling.
“Lily, I’m so sorry,” he softly whispered.
Kian was startled when her eyes flew open. She’d been given enough meds to keep her asleep for a long while, but obviously she had the endurance of her mother and aunt. Her injuries could have easily taken her life. He had always loved a fighter.
Kian reached for her small fingers, and she grasped on to him and held on tightly. Her grip made him happy. He didn’t know how to tell this child what had occurred on this horrible night. He didn’t want to be the one to utter those fateful words. Where in the hell was the social worker?
“We need to get you to your room so you’ll start feeling better,” Kian said quietly as he raised his free hand and again pushed back her delicate brown hair. She blinked at him but didn’t say anything.
Kian tried pulling his hand from Lily’s, but she let out a heartbreaking sob and held on tighter, her eyes growing wider. His heart stopped beating at the pain of that sound.
“Dr. Forbes, we need to move her now,” his favorite nurse, Stephanie, said.
“I’ll go with her,” he told the nurse. She nodded and smiled. The entire staff knew his job meant more to him than stitching someone up and forgetting them. He’d have moved a lot farther up the evolutionary chain of medicine if that had been his main focus. But Kian didn’t have to worry about that. He wasn’t interested in titles.
Carefully easing himself onto the edge of the bed, he kept his hand entwined in Lily’s, and the nurse pushed the stretcher out of the surgical suite and down the hall to the elevators. Lily didn’t take her eyes off him until they came into the children’s ICU.
Lily still didn’t let him go as she was transferred to a bed and set up for the night. Someone offered to take Ki
an’s place, but when Lily whimpered again, Kian knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
She was his daughter. The thought was both terrifying and humbling. She was his daughter, and he’d already lost three precious years with her. He was too broken in this moment to feel anger over the situation. All he felt was a heartbreaking sorrow that he wasn’t sure would ever go away.
“Lily,” he whispered as he finally allowed a tear to escape his burning eye. One fell, and then he firmed his face, never looking away from his sleeping daughter. He wasn’t a weak man and wouldn’t allow himself to break now. This child needed him. She needed him and Roxie. He just wasn’t sure how well that was going to go for either of them.
A lot had happened, and it seemed that before this night was over, a storm would brew and burst open. He might need to rest before Roxie Gilbert walked back into his life. He wondered if she was aware of what had happened, of the fact that Lily was his daughter. He somehow doubted it.
Kian laid his head down on the bed next to hers, his fingers still lightly clasped in her small hand, and he closed his eyes. He blanked his mind of all thoughts, something he’d learned to do when he’d only been able to manage two-hour naps after thirty-six hours straight of school and work. He couldn’t do his best if he couldn’t refresh his body. Hopefully when he woke, this would have all been nothing but a nightmare.
It was a thought that put a small smile on his lips as he drifted to sleep beside his daughter.
Chapter Two
No one ever wants to receive the call that Roxie Gilbert had. A far-too-efficient nurse had told Roxie that her sister had been admitted with life-threatening injuries and then wasn’t saying anything more.
Roxie was well aware of this routine, as she’d been a nurse for the past six years. They weren’t telling her anything because they needed a doctor to pass along the information. She was left with no choice but to pace the worn floor as she waited for answers. She was left with nothing to do but think of the past.
Roxie had run away from her small town of Edmonds to Portland four years ago—she’d run from her sister and from a life she’d once thought she’d wanted. She’d run from Kian Forbes. What had she done? What kind of person fled her only family? Roxie was afraid she’d never again be able to look at herself in the mirror, with all the guilt flooding through her.
Tears continued to flow as she fought down nausea, fatigue, and anguish too great to describe. So, she paced and she waited.
“Ms. Gilbert?” A doctor was standing in the doorway to the waiting room, his face not necessarily giving anything away, but she could see the detachment in his eyes. He was going to tell her something she didn’t want to hear. He was preparing for her to fall apart.
She knew that look all too well. She’d carried that same message in her own eyes. It couldn’t be too late. She couldn’t have messed up so badly in her life that she wouldn’t have a chance to make things right with her only sibling, her only family.
“Yes,” she said. Slowly, she moved up to the doctor. Her entire body was trembling. This couldn’t be happening. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to run away again, something she was good at, wanted to deny what she was about to hear.
“I’m Dr. Peters and was in the room when your sister came in. Can you come with me?” he asked. Yeah, things were about to fall apart. He didn’t want to tell her in the public waiting room. She almost refused to follow him. If he didn’t take her somewhere private, then he couldn’t shatter her. Somehow her feet carried her across the busy emergency room floor, and she passed through the doors with the doctor at her side. The sound of crying and muted voices quieted as soon as the door closed.
“Take a seat,” Dr. Peters told her.
“I don’t want to sit down. Just tell me,” she said. “I’m a nurse. I know how this goes.”
His eyes flashed to hers with sympathy pouring from him. She wanted to turn away, wanted to demand he not drag this out. But, somehow, she kept from yelling at the man who was only trying to do his job. Somehow, she stood there holding herself in one piece.
“Do you have anyone else who can be here with you?” he asked. If she’d had even a glimmer of hope before this moment, it was now dashed. The news was very bad, indeed, because they didn’t want her to be alone.
“No. There’s no one left. It was just down to me and my sister in our family tree,” she said quietly. Tears were burning her eyes, but she refused to let them go. She couldn’t fall apart. Not yet.
“Your sister and niece were brought in tonight with multiple stab wounds,” he said.
Now the tears began falling. Who would stab a child? Who could be that monstrous? Roxie had seen some evil things in her years in the medical profession, but she was still in disbelief when she saw something this horrendous. She nodded. There was no way she’d be able to get words out at this point. She was hurting far too badly.
“I want to tell you, first of all, that your niece is in stable condition. Barring any complications, she should make a full recovery.”
It took a moment for the doctor’s words to sink in. Roxie hadn’t been expecting any good news on this dreadful night. Maybe she’d been misreading the situation. Maybe it was just a traumatic accident, and no one would die. There was a glimmer of hope inside her. Lily was okay. Her niece was going to be okay. She knew complications could happen, but Roxie would monitor Lily like a hawk. She looked at the doctor with renewed energy.
“Unfortunately, Ms. Gilbert, your sister and her premature baby haven’t made it. We tried all we could, but the injuries were too great, and they succumbed a couple of hours ago,” he told her.
Once again it took a few moments to process his words. Her sister was gone. Murdered. Someone had stolen her sister’s life. Roxie’s body trembled, and she rocked back and forth on her heels as she absorbed the impact of the situation. Pamela was gone.
She’d suffered at the hands of some criminal, and now she was gone. If Roxie had been there, then maybe she could have helped; maybe none of this would be happening now. She was too trained to ask silly questions. The doctors could tell her that her sister hadn’t suffered, but she wouldn’t believe them. Roxie wanted to scream, to demand answers, to get the person who had done this. Her emotions were fried, and she felt herself spiraling.
“Ms. Gilbert, your niece needs you right now,” the doctor said, his voice gentle, pulling her out of the whirlwind of thoughts rushing through her brain. “She’s been through a terrible ordeal. Would you like me to take you to her room?”
Roxie looked at him as if she’d just realized he was there. She shook her head to try to clear it. She wasn’t sure what to do or say right now. But then she saw that flash of light at the end of the tunnel. Her sister might be gone, but Lily was alive, and Lily only had Roxie left.
“Yes, please take me to my niece,” she told him.
Renewed determination filled Roxie. She’d left her sister, but she would never walk away from her niece, never let someone hurt her again. It was just the two of them, and they would heal together. They would make sure their family’s mistakes would never be repeated again. They’d start fresh and they’d heal over time.
“Take me to Lily,” she said, her voice stronger.
The doctor nodded, but he’d said all he needed to say, and the walk down the long hallways was made in silence. Roxie appreciated that.
Roxie barely managed to keep it together as she placed one foot in front of the other on her journey to her niece. Thoughts of finding the murderer helped her somewhat, but not enough. Whoever had done this evil deed to Pamela and her unborn child would most certainly pay.
And from this moment on, Roxie realized her life was no longer about just her. She had a beautiful child to take care of, and Lily would never know a day without love and security. Roxie just prayed she wouldn’t let Lily down. She prayed she had what it took to be the parent Lily needed. Growing up with an abusive alcoholic for a father hadn’t left Roxie—or Pamela—with grea
t parental role models, but Roxie was a fast learner, and failing wasn’t an option.
“I’ll leave you here,” the doctor informed her before he slipped away.
When she finally stepped into the dim room, Roxie’s eyes were drawn to her niece, who looked so small as she lay in the giant hospital bed. It took her a moment to realize her niece wasn’t alone. There was a man in a doctor’s coat with his head lying facedown on the pillow next to Lily’s. Roxie was so grateful to the man for not leaving her niece alone. She would thank him profusely when she wasn’t so overwhelmed.
Roxie didn’t want to disturb her niece, or the doctor who’d chosen to stay by her side, so she slowly stepped forward and gently sat in the chair next to the bed. She reached over to grip her niece’s tiny fingers. Roxie focused on Lily as she allowed more tears to fall. She was quiet as she spoke, but she needed to say the words that were trying to rip themselves from her throat.
“It’s you and me now, kiddo, and I will never leave you,” Roxie promised. Her niece squeezed her fingers in sleep. Roxie held on tightly.
The man stirred and finally lifted his head, giving Roxie a full view of his face.
Fresh panic invaded Roxie as she stared into the eyes of the first and only man she’d ever been in love with. With all the trauma of the call she’d received and her rush to get to her sister in time, Roxie hadn’t really had time to think about the possibility of seeing Dr. Kian Forbes again.
There were a million questions blazing to life in Kian’s gaze, but his lips didn’t move as he continued to stare at her. He swallowed, all without uttering a single syllable, which made her rip her gaze away from his eyes and focus on his throat instead while she tried to quiet the thundering in her heart. That turned out to be an utter mistake, as it made her think of the times her lips had caressed his salty skin in just that particular spot.
She forced herself to look completely away, fixing her gaze on the worn hospital badge he was wearing. He looked tired and a little bit broken, which she didn’t understand.