by Melody Anne
But the urge to hold her wasn’t going away. He didn’t have to take her. He could be a lot more respectful than that, he decided. Resolve sat firm in his gut as he looked Roxie in the eyes.
“Can I hold her?” he asked. There was so much raw emotion in his voice, he wanted to be able to push it down, but he couldn’t. His words came out practically baring his soul. She could do with that what she wanted. He couldn’t care right now.
“Um . . . okay,” she said after a slight moment of hesitation. She wasn’t letting Lily go, though.
“I’m not going to run off with her,” he told her. At least not at this moment, he added silently. He wasn’t going to promise her he wasn’t going to want custody of his child, but he didn’t need to say that right now. If she remembered anything at all about him, then she should know he was going to raise his daughter.
Kian stepped closer to the two of them, Roxie’s subtle peach scent drifting over him, taking him instantly back to their last night together. He’d never been able to resist her sweet scent. She’d giggled once when he’d told her just that and said that knowing that, she would always make sure to wear something good so she could get her way. As bitter as he was now, he’d think she was wearing the scent on purpose to get to him, but she’d been far too horrified to see him for her to have known they would run into each other today.
He reached out for Lily, and though she looked curious and gave him a little smile, she didn’t let go of her aunt. He wasn’t being too smooth at the moment, and he felt the sting of rejection filter through him.
“Lily, do you want to let Kian hold you?”
Another pang rushed through Kian. Roxie had called him Kian, not referred to him as Lily’s father. He wanted to be Dad, or Daddy. He didn’t want to be Doc, Kian, Mr. Forbes, or any other name.
But his rational mind knew you didn’t just tell a child he was her father out of the blue. It would be easier on her if she knew him, trusted him. But the need to claim her was so strong, he was having a difficult time being rational. And though he was her father, in her eyes he was little more than a stranger. If he rushed this, it wouldn’t go well for either of them, and he couldn’t stand a lifetime of his daughter not trusting him. That thought helped keep him calm, helped him make positive choices.
Kian gave Lily what he hoped was a warm smile and reached for her again. This time she released her aunt and accepted his embrace. He gently pulled her in close and held on, being careful not to clutch her too tightly in his enthusiasm for holding his child.
She buried her sweet little face against his neck, her dark curls tickling his nose. The amount of love and joy he felt was so overwhelming, his eyes stung with the need to free what he was feeling. He closed his lids to keep his feelings to himself, unwilling to give Roxie a glimpse inside his soul. This was a moment between his daughter and him, and Roxie had severed her right to see the real him when she’d left so long ago.
Lily was an unusually delicate child, with small limbs and just the slightest bit of baby fat on her cheeks. He wondered if she was getting enough to eat, if she had warm clothes. He wondered if she had been taken care of. Now that he was holding her, he didn’t know if he’d be capable of letting her go again, of giving her back to her aunt.
He looked over at Roxie, who was closer than appropriate, her fingers twitching. He knew the feeling. His own hands had been aching with the need to hold his child. He imagined Roxie wanted to take her back before he got too attached.
Too late.
He might not turn around and run with her, but the need to do just that was so overwhelming, he had to force himself to calm down. He didn’t want his tension to radiate outward and stress Lily.
“Are you settling into the house?” he asked. He noted that she seemed reluctant to share anything, and she took too long a pause before replying.
“It’s okay for now,” she admitted. He tensed again, not knowing what the for now meant.
“It’s a solid place, even if it’s small,” he said, trying to remember the layout of the place.
“I’m not sure how long we’re going to be there,” she said. He knew she wasn’t trying to threaten him, but she apparently didn’t want to lie any more than he did. At least they still had that much respect for each other.
“Where would you go?” he asked.
“I need to find work,” she said, avoiding the question of where.
He had to force himself not to tense up again. He was holding his little girl, and that was what mattered.
“I hate to interrupt this, but Sal is back for a limited time, and we should go now,” Eden said as she returned.
“Of course,” Roxie said, before he could tell the woman to go away.
Roxie reached out for Lily at that moment and took her from Kian’s arms. He wanted to refuse to let the child go, but he wasn’t going to have a tug-of-war with Roxie over his daughter. The second Lily was out of his arms, though, he felt the horrific emptiness of not having her snuggled to him. He didn’t like the sensation in the least.
The sooner the two of them got this custody situation resolved, the better it would be for him and for Lily. Roxie might end up hurt over losing Lily, but Kian wouldn’t forbid her from being in the child’s life. He wasn’t cruel.
“I have to go,” Roxie said. “We will have to talk about this later.”
Without a conscious thought about it, Kian fell into step with Roxie and Eden as they made their way through the park and back to the office where Sal worked. Eden gave him a glance before looking back down, but he could see she had a million questions for Roxie and resented him being there.
Well, he had a million questions for the woman next to him as well, but he was sure as hell forced to wait, and he didn’t feel in the least bit bad that Eden was going to have to stand in line for answers just as long as he did.
Besides that, he wasn’t leaving until he and Roxie had a chat about where things were headed. He didn’t need to tell her he was planning on obtaining full custody of his daughter, but he was going to put his foot down on visiting with her until that happened. He needed to make sure Lily trusted him. This transition was going to be difficult for all of them.
They got to the office, and Kian could see the surprise on Roxie’s face when he followed them inside. She was looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute, the longer he stuck around. Too bad.
“Kian, my boy,” Sal said in his cheerful voice as the three shut the front door behind them. “I’m glad you’re here. I was going to have Eden give you a call.”
“What do you need?” Kian asked.
“We’re here to read Pamela Gilbert’s will now that Roxie has quit avoiding it, and as you know, your name is there, too,” he said.
Kian looked at Roxie and saw definite panic in her eyes.
“Then we should get under way,” Kian said, trying to keep a positive note in his tone. Roxie wasn’t saying a word. She also looked on the verge of tears as she gripped Lily tightly enough in her arms that Kian was getting a little worried about his daughter’s ability to breathe.
“Why don’t I keep Lily out here so you guys can talk without interruption?” Eden offered as she stood in front of Roxie and Kian, eyeing them warily as if they were both cobras about to strike.
“That would be great. Thank you,” Roxie said. Kian felt a small buzz of irritation that Lily went to Eden without hesitation when he’d had to coax his daughter to come to him. He pushed that down, though. Soon she’d be running and jumping into his arms, he promised.
“Come on, Lily, I’ve got some great pictures of your aunt somewhere around here in full cowgirl gear at a barn-raising dance,” Eden said with glee. A pang ran through Kian at this thought since he remembered those dances, remembered being there with Roxie in his arms.
“Oh, those should be dead and buried,” Roxie said in horror.
“Nah, those are the good old days,” Eden assured her. “Now you will get to teach Lily how to do it.” K
ian was more determined than ever to be a part of that dance.
Sal went ahead of them and gave Kian a moment alone in the hallway with Roxie. He grabbed her arm and halted her midstep. She eyed him warily as she waited for what he had to say.
Bending closer so he wouldn’t be overheard, he whispered, “Our conversation is in no way finished. I don’t want you running off when we’re done in here. We’re going to talk privately.”
“I figured as much,” she said, but there was fear in her bright eyes as she looked caught between anger and heartbreak. He wasn’t going to soothe her. The two of them helping each other had come and gone. Now, they’d have to be civil for the sake of Lily, but they didn’t need to go above and beyond anymore.
“Good. Just wanted to make sure you understood that,” he said. His voice was firm and maybe just slightly husky at her close proximity. He wasn’t thrilled at that particular thought. He was over her, dammit.
“I understand,” she said, her eyes narrowing as she found some of the fight inside her she had seemed to have lost since coming back into his life in such a big way. It was enough to almost make him smile. He always had enjoyed her spirit.
Shaking his head, Kian pushed that sort of thinking out of his brain. He couldn’t think about her in terms like that anymore. He was now a father, and he’d better behave like one. With a new resolve firmly in place, he let Roxie go and followed her inside the lawyer’s simple office. She wasn’t his friend or lover anymore. She was now the one trying to keep his daughter from him.
Sadly for Roxie, even though the battle might just be beginning, the reality was that Kian Forbes always came out the victor—no matter whom he was up against.
Chapter Eleven
Roxie was now very much aware of how someone escaping death must feel. Her heart was racing, her palms sweating, and her entire body shaking. She felt as if she’d just run twenty miles through a desert without water.
She should have known better than to think she could avoid Kian forever. But being in this attorney’s office with him at her side was making the situation so much more real. He was Lily’s biological father—at least that’s what Pamela had told him in the hospital, and the fact that Sal said Kian was in her sister’s will pretty much confirmed that fact.
Roxie didn’t have a chance at all in a battle with Kian. He had money, prestige, and was a doctor in demand. He was a Forbes, dammit, and that meant something not only in this small town, but all over the United States. Hell, probably all over the world. She wouldn’t be surprised if he went golfing on a regular basis with whatever judge was assigned to their case when he took her to court.
Now, not only did she have to deal with her unresolved feelings for Kian, which she had hoped would become more subdued through the years, but she also had to face the fact that her one true love had enjoyed a one-night stand with her sister, and a child she very much loved was the result of what she could only see as the ultimate betrayal.
He would take Lily away from her. He had the legal right to raise her, and he certainly had the money to beat her in court. So, though she might feel as if she’d just escaped death, the worst was yet to come. She had no doubt about it. What was she going to do? She could go on the run, but she had no money and no way to sustain a life of running. Besides that, she didn’t think there was a place far enough for her to get away that she could hide from Kian. If he wanted to find his daughter, he was damn well going to.
She wasn’t that person anyway, she reminded herself. She couldn’t do that to him or Lily, now that she knew the truth. But she didn’t want to give up her niece. She might not think she was the best possible care provider for her delicate Lily, but she knew no other woman would love her as much as she did.
That thought only led her into thinking about Kian finding a woman to be Lily’s mom. He’d want to do everything he could for his daughter, including giving her a normal two-parent household. Tears stung her eyes to even begin to form that picture in her mind. She couldn’t go there or she knew for sure she would fall to pieces. And this absolutely wasn’t the time to do that.
Roxie felt as if she was completely out of options. She couldn’t fight Kian. She didn’t have the will for it, even if she had the money. He was too powerful in his own right, but to top that off, he had the Forbes name, and all the power associated with it. His family were basically celebrities in this community.
She wished they were monsters so she could hate them and justify running, but they weren’t. They were truly good people with hearts bigger than the average family. They were tight-knit and incredibly intimidating, and there wasn’t anything they wouldn’t do for the ones they loved.
All of that led her right back to the place of not having a clue about what she was going to do. And while Kian had a huge network of people, she had not a single one. When she’d moved from Edmonds, she’d purposely burned every bridge leading away so she wouldn’t turn around and run back with her tail tucked between her legs.
That might not have been her smartest choice ever, but she’d been thinking with emotion instead of her very smart brain. She had good insight when she chose to use it the way she was supposed to.
Growing up with an alcoholic father had been hell, and when her sister had begun following that same path, Roxie had pulled away from them. They wouldn’t even have the house if it weren’t for their grandparents being smart enough to leave it to them. It was their way of saying they were sorry for having such a horrible son.
Roxie’s mother had left when Roxie was still a baby. Why she hadn’t taken her girls with her, Roxie would never know. Her father had refused to talk about her, and their family had moved to Edmonds after her mother was gone, so no one knew who she was. Her bitter father hadn’t so much as kept a picture.
By the time Roxie was old enough to try to find leads that might lead to who her mother was, she’d hated the woman. Any person who could leave her children with a man like her dad wasn’t someone Roxie wanted to know.
So, the bottom line was that she had no one to turn to and nowhere to go. She wished she’d given her sister more of a chance and that she’d communicated with her. But it was so much easier to give up on her. Now, she wouldn’t give up on her niece. Lily was all she had left.
It sent a pang through her heart knowing that her niece would be better off with Kian, though, with his loving family. Was she truly so selfish she would keep her niece from having that privileged life? She shook her head, pushing those thoughts away. Roxie also deserved happiness and love. Just because she didn’t have money and power didn’t make her less than Kian or his family. But in the end, if it was best for Lily to grow up without Roxie, then she would make that sacrifice. Though it would be tougher for her to give her niece a great life, she believed she could give her so much that money couldn’t buy—loyalty, love, and affection—and she would always keep Pamela alive in Lily’s heart by looking through picture albums and telling stories about her. And Roxie was her blood. That mattered just as much as it did that Kian was Lily’s blood, too. Besides, Roxie was a nurse and would get back on her feet, and maybe she’d even marry someday—marry an ordinary man who would love Lily as his own.
She took a moment to glance over at Kian, who was standing near the door of the office, probably to make sure she didn’t rise up and make a run for the door. She quickly looked away again.
Even if she were to marry a nice guy, Kian wasn’t going anywhere. The only doubt she faced was where she was going to fit in this picture. Maybe the reading of the will would help with that. Her sister had nothing monetary to give, so Roxie knew this could only have to do with custody. If her sister left custody of Lily to her, didn’t that mean she would get to keep her? Roxie had done Google searches and still didn’t know how the law worked. Who had more rights? She wasn’t sure. But looking at Kian and the confident smirk on his face wasn’t helping to ease her nerves.
“Go ahead and sit down,” Sal said. Roxie needed to pay attention and
not get lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t want to sit and have Kian towering over her even more than he already was, but she feared her legs weren’t going to keep holding her up, so she did as Sal suggested and sat. She pressed her still-shaking knees together to keep from showing her nervousness.
“You too good to sit?” Sal barked at Kian. Roxie didn’t look in his direction, but she imagined he gave an eye roll. She did hear his steps as he moved in closer. Now that she was sitting, maybe he felt as if he could let his guard down enough to step away from the door.
He sat in a chair that was slightly behind her, giving him the advantage of being able to watch her without her seeing him. She was sure he’d positioned himself that way on purpose. Roxie was beginning to think every move he made was calculated.
“First off, darling, I have to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your sister. I know you two haven’t been close in a long time, but she was your sister, and she was trying to turn her life around,” Sal said. His words instantly brought tears to her eyes, and she was too emotional to hold them back. They spilled over and soaked her cheeks. Sal handed her a hankie. An actual hankie. She hadn’t known those still existed.
She gratefully dabbed the moisture on her cheeks as she tried pulling herself together. She could fall apart later that night, after she’d managed to get Lily to sleep and the day fully sank in. For now, she had to keep it together. It took massive strength, but she stopped the flow of tears and looked at Sal.
“I’m sorry. It’s been a long day,” she told him.
“It’s okay to fall apart, Roxie. You don’t have to be strong for me,” he said before looking sternly at Kian. “And Kian won’t judge you for it, either.” That last part came out as a threat and nearly made Roxie smile.