“Good to hear,” I mumbled, scraping my teeth over my bottom lip.
I swallowed hard, laying my head back on the back of my sofa. I had to keep a grip on my emotions. And the vast emptiness that had invaded my chest wasn’t helping any.
“Kenz, I really want to thank you again for being such a good friend. If it hadn’t been for your reassurance that he’d come around, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
And there went another dagger or more like salt being poured into the wound. I was anything but a good friend. I had broken the cardinal girl code rule by falling in love with Drew, and now I was reaping the consequences of my actions. Karma really was a bitch.
“That’s what friends are for,” I whispered through the knot in my throat.
“We have so much to do now to get ready for the baby. Everything’s going to be so perfect now. Just wait and see.”
Perfect for her, sure, but not for me. It was bad enough that I was jealous of her for having heard from Drew before I did, but deep down, I was jealous of her for being pregnant too. She was living my dream. Becoming a mother, being cared for by the man she loves. That was my dream, and now her reality.
Secretly, I had been holding out hope that Drew would show up at my door, pull me into his arms, and tell me everything would be okay. But that was me, disillusioned by a fairytale ending. Nothing ever worked the way they did in the movies.
“Liv, that’s my call waiting, can I call you back?” I lied. I was about to lose it, and I couldn’t let her witness my full breakdown.
“Sure!” she giggled. “Call me later.”
The phone clicked in my ear, and I simply slid off the couch, trapping myself between the sofa and the coffee table. I drew my knees to my chest as a flood of tears rained down my cheeks. My chest broke open like a canyon, and all I could do was wrap my arms around myself in a vain attempt to close the chasm. The urge to run overwhelmed me. But this time it wasn’t a need to run to the beach. It was the urge to run away for good.
I closed my eyes and tried to erase the imagines that plagued me of Drew’s smile, his touch, and even the sweet messages he sent me. It all meant nothing now. I heaved, my body shaking uncontrollably as guilt, agony, and grief filled me once again.
All this time I thought fate had brought me and Drew together, but it seemed that it was really fate trying to keep us apart.
I reached for the phone that lay helplessly beside my knee, and did the only thing I could do.
Olivia’s news solidified my doubts. There was nothing left for me here. I had to cut ties and move on. It might upset Olivia, but in the end, I was doing this as much for her as I was me.
So, I called my parents and made arrangements to move back home. It wasn’t the easiest decision I’d ever made, but it was the right one. Not only was I leaving behind Drew and Olivia, but I was leaving Jared and my students as well. While they were great reasons to stay, my heart and mind, for once, agreed that in order for me to heal, I had to leave.
My parents accepted my decision, although my mother tried to argue with me. Dad seemed more understanding. Given the chance, I think he’d have flown out to get me for the pure satisfaction of being able to kill Drew.
The next morning, I gave my notice to the school district and my apartment concerning my impending move back to Texas. Luckily, Marcie didn’t hold me to a relenting fee. She said my security deposit would cover everything, which led me to wonder how much Drew actually put down for me on the apartment. It seemed like everything in my life led straight to Drew, and no matter how hard I tried not to think about him, I couldn’t stop myself. Each time his name would whisper through my mind, my heart would break over again. Leaving was my only option for survival.
With all my arrangements in place, and the fact that Drew still hadn’t contacted me, I decided it was time to send him one last message.
Congratulations, Andrew. I hope you find all the happiness you deserve. I know you’ll make a terrific father. Goodbye.
Pressing send on that text message was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, but I did it.
With a heavy heart, I started the process of packing my meager belongings.
I turned on my stereo to drown out my mind. Too much thinking was killing me, and I needed a little peace; even if only for a moment. A little rock music seemed to be the ticket. That was until my cell phone chirped, interrupting my heavy metal induced solace.
“Hello?” I answered, pulling tape across the lid of a box.
“What do you mean goodbye?” Drew’s voice slurred.
The tape dispenser hit the floor with a loud clank. I never expected to hear from him. His silence, to me at least, was a clear indicator that I was never to be a part of his life again.
“Hi, Drew,” I whispered, my body feeling instantly cold.
“I’ll ask you again, what do you mean by goodbye?” he hissed.
I slid down the front of my kitchen cabinets, pulling my knees to my chest. He was drunk. That much I could tell by the sound of his voice.
“It means goodbye, Drew. I’m leaving.”
“Leaving? Where? How long will you be gone?”
The lump in my throat made it difficult to reply, “I’m going home.”
“You are home,” he spat.
“I can’t stay here and watch you and Liv be a happy couple, Drew. It’s not fair to me or you. You’ve made your choice, and I won’t stand in the way of that.”
“This is bullshit, Mickie! You can’t leave. I won’t let you.”
“Drew, you have no idea the torture I’ve gone through to bring me to this decision.”
“Quit calling me that!” he screamed.
“Calling you what?”
“Drew! I’m your Andy. Remember. Your Andy,” he wailed.
Tears poured down my checks, over my lips and down my neck. I wanted to hold him, to take away his pain, but there was nothing for me to do now. He wasn’t mine. No matter how much I wanted him to be, he would never be mine.
“Drew, you need to listen to me. This is important. I’ll always love you. If you take nothing else with you, remember that there will always be someone very far away that loves you. But my staying here isn’t an option. You and Liv need space to take care of your family. Having me hovering around wouldn’t be right.”
I closed my eyes, dropping my head to my knees letting the tears fall.
A distant silence fell between us. I heard him sniffle and swallow hard.
“You can’t leave me,” he finally responded.
“And I can’t stay,” I said.
“What will I do without you?”
I raked my fingers through my hair, my lips trembling with grief. “You’ll live the life you were destined to live before I arrived.”
“And what about you?” he breathed.
“I’ll manage. Someone once told me, I’m a survivor.”
That business card Drew gave me the night we met, still remained in my wallet. It was a reminder of the man that stole my heart, and had to give it back when the universe deemed us unworthy of each other.
“Mickie, I love you. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t go. I’ll make this work.”
“Andy,” – I mentally slapped myself for calling him that – “you’re one man. How do you think Liv would feel about you fathering her baby while dating her best friend? It would never work. You have to know that, that’s why you called her first.”
The silence was once again deafening. Even in his drunken stupor, I knew he couldn’t deny what I was saying. These were things I had thought about long and hard. There was no way around this. I had to leave.
“Can I see you before you go?” he whimpered.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’ve been out of it since she told me. You have to believe I never meant to hurt you,” he pleaded.
It was impossible for me not to believe him. Drew loved me. That much I
was sure of. But as the old saying goes, sometimes love just ain’t enough.
“I believe you. I’m sorry too.” I sniffled hard, rattling my chest as I breathed.
“I love you,” he wept.
“I love you too. Goodbye.”
“Mick –”
His voice lingered in my mind even after I hung up the phone. I rested my chin on my knees, holding my hand to my neck, feeling the diamond pressing into my palm, as the tears fell from my eyes. It was really over.
If there was one lesson I learned with everything I had been through, was the fact that Drew knew what he was talking about the night he met me. I was a survivor. Somehow, I’d pick up the pieces and manage to move on. At least I’d always have the memories of the days we spent together, the times we cherished, and the love we shared. That would have to be enough.
Acknowledgements
Rose David, my editor and friend, is a blessing to me. She is the reason that my work isn’t a jumbled mess. I couldn’t do this without her.
My proofreader, Jackie Bosworth, is a dear friend that has been with me from the very beginning. Her guidance and friendship are invaluable to me.
Melanie Edwards and Mary Devereaux, my pre-readers, are two of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
All of these women are simply wonderful. Each one of them holds a very special place in my heart. Love you, ladies.
Penny Reeves, AKA Trouble, my best friend. I couldn’t have done this without you. Our constant brainstorming sessions helped me bring Drew and McKenzie to life. Thank you for always being there. I love you.
Chris and Alex, my boys, you’re my anchor to reality. I’m so blessed to have you in my life. You’re the reason I get up each morning and strive to make something better of myself. I love you both so much.
Mom and Dad, thank you for always believing in me. I love you both.
To my friend, Marcie Sanchez, whom I not only named a character for, but have also dedicated this book too, thank you for encouraging me to start writing again. I’m here because you pushed me in the right direction. Thank you. I love you, girly.
And a girl gets nowhere in life without her friends. Katy, Vicki, Sarah, Mandy, Mariah, Carman, Cassandra, and Melissa, you ladies keep me laughing and encouraged. I’m lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life.
Also, a special thank you to my cover designer, Jada D’Lee Designs for the amazing cover. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with for book two.
And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank my readers. Each one of you means so much to me. I’ve had the chance to talk to so many of you through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media means, and I’m always humbled by you all. I’ve said it time and time again, but I always mean it. I might write the story, but my readers bring it to life. I love you all!
About the Author
Jeanne McDonald began telling stories at the ripe young age of five, when her mother considered the truth to be a lie thanks to her extensive embellishment to the retelling of an event. She wrote her first short story when she was twelve years old, and at the age of sixteen she tried her hand at poetry. She reconnected with her love for writing in 2010 thanks to the encouragement of a dear friend.
When she is not spending time with her family, she can be found reading, writing, chatting with her friends or diligently working toward her bachelor’s degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology. A proud Texan, she currently resides in the Dallas/Fort Worth area with her family.
Contact the Author
Facebook: www.facebook.com/Jeanne.M.McDonald
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sparklingwand
Website: www.jeannemcdonald.com
Also by Jeanne McDonald
Book Two in The Truth in Lies Saga:
THE CERTAINTY OF DECEPTION
* * *Prologue* * *
“It’s about time you picked up the phone. I’ve been calling for days. I can’t keep covering for you. Dad’s been asking where you are, and please tell me this crap that Olivia is telling Morgan is B.S.. She’s not pregnant, is she?” Gavin rattled.
“She is,” I slurred, my gut clenching in agony. It was hard to admit that the one thing I really wanted to be a lie was, in fact, the truth.
With a bottle in hand, I pulled myself up off my cold bedroom floor, stumbling in the process. Pain was nonexistent in my body, but even the booze couldn’t drown the ache in my chest.
“Jesus, Drew, are you drunk?”
“Duh!” I exclaimed, tapping the tip of my nose, as if Gavin could see me.
The room was spinning. The metallic taste on my tongue urged me to expunge the contents of my stomach. Instead, I gulped down the remainder of the bottle in my hand, and tossed the empty container to the floor, watching as it shattered into a million pieces. I rested my hand on the corner of my bed, steadying myself. When I knew I was stable enough, I stumbled to the nightstand and grabbed my keys. The sound of glass crunched under the soles of my shoes.
“Little brother, you can’t do this again.”
I hesitated, afraid of losing my balance, “Do what?”
“Lose yourself. I can’t watch you go down this road again.”
“This isn’t like before. I’m in complete control.”
“You don’t sound like it.”
The room continued to spin. I braced myself against the doorjamb to keep from toppling over. “I am, but I can’t lose her!” I cried, rubbing my hand over my face. “My fault. All my fault.” Twisting the doorknob, I stumbled out of the bedroom toward the stairs. “She’s leaving for Texas, and I have to stop her.”
“Stop who?”
“Mickie!” I bellowed. “She’s leaving.” I rubbed my hand over my face in frustration. “I’ve got to stop her! She can’t leave me.”
“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right there.”
I lurched forward, almost falling flat on my face. “Too late.”
“Dammit, Drew! Don’t you dare drive like this.”
“Stop her, I must,” I laughed like Yoda, but it came out sounding more like Fozzy the Bear.
“Really? You’re imitating Yoda at a time like this?”
“One with the force, I am.”
Gavin groaned, “Listen to me, I’m on my way. Just stay put.”
My laughter disappeared. “No!” I screamed, floundering down the stairs. “I told you, I have to stop her. I need her. I love her!”
Through the phone, I could hear the sound of a car door slamming shut and an engine firing up. Gavin was in fact on his way.
“Drew, I’m serious. Stay where you are. I’ll be there in a few minutes. If you’re going to see McKenzie, I’m coming with you.”
A RAY OF HOPE
* * *Preface* * *
This was a dream.
It had to be.
There was no way that this could be reality.
It couldn’t be happening.
No, it was a dream; more like a nightmare. A nightmare in which I couldn’t wake up.
Then again, everything was too real to be a dream.
The heat bursting throughout the city streets. The screams of the people surrounding the buildings. The hideous sound of mortar burning.
This wasn’t a dream, but it was a nightmare.
My living nightmare.
Time was my enemy. Every second was a second closer to the demise of the structure. We had been warned that it was only a matter of time before the building would collapse. Time was of the essence. With every new face I encountered; I prayed, I hoped, and with each new face, my heart sank deeper in my chest when it wasn’t her.
That’s when the inevitable occurred. Just as predicted, the edifice began to crumble.
No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did, I was helpless against the billowing smoke that poured through the city streets. Darkness consumed everything, sucking the sunlight right out of the sky.
Ah, the sunlight. Sunshine. My beautiful Sunny. My darling wife - Hope. Th
e one person who mattered more to me than my own life. The one person that I would face Heaven and Hell simultaneously, if need be, to protect. Without her, I was nothing. She was my everything.
Thunder clapped in my ears. Even through the respirator, I could still smell the ash filling the atmosphere. In a matter of seconds it was all over. As I watched the building collapse in upon itself, never did the thought occur to me of how this moment would impact American History. At that time, there was only one thing that mattered; my Sunny. She was inside that building, and it was my job to get her out of there.
My legs jolted into action. I ran as hard as I could toward the rubble; determined to find my wife amidst the debris.
The Truth in Lies (The Truth in Lies Saga) Page 32