by Rhian Cahill
“I’ll talk to you later, Steve. I’m taking Tatum home to rest. Brogan and Quinn arrived a little while ago. They’re handling the Marcus issue with the help of my deputies.”
“Need me to do anything?”
“No. Just take care of Doc.”
Steve watched as Dale and Tatum headed for the back door.
“Want to tell us what’s going on, son?” Doctor Monroe asked.
“I’ll keep it short for now but the bare bones are this. Marcus has led a terror campaign against Doc, Gordie, for a few months. As usual, she’s weathered it all on her own, but two days ago he stepped it up and the results are…” Steve tried to think of the best words to describe his and Doc’s new relationship.
“You and my daughter are mated.” Mrs. Monroe saved him the trouble.
He felt his cheeks heat. “Yes.”
Doctor Monroe slapped him on the back. “About time you pulled your head out of your ass, boy.”
“With all due respect, dear, I think it’s Gordana who’s had her head up her ass,” Mrs. Monroe said.
Steve smiled. He’d forgotten how much he liked the Monroes. Being the town’s only doctor and nurse, they’d been a huge part of his growing-up years. And now they’d be his in-laws.
“If it’s okay with the two of you, I’d like to take Doc home with me tonight. I know we’ll probably be stuck up the mountain for a few days with the storm due in tomorrow but I think she’s going to need the time to recuperate.”
“Son, I think her physical recovery will be far easier than the mental one. She took a life today. That won’t sit well with her no matter how deserving the bastard was.” Doctor Monroe held out his hand. “And I guess I should say welcome to the family.”
Steve shook the other man’s hand. “Thank you, sir.”
“None of that sir business now, we’re family after all.” He turned to Mrs. Monroe. “Let’s go get that girl of ours ready to go home.”
He gave them a few minutes with their daughter. They hadn’t seen each other in months and coming home to this couldn’t be easy to deal with. The commotion at the other end of the hall drew his attention and he wandered down to see what was going on. Brogan and Quinn were making sure the deputies did their job, but Steve didn’t think it really mattered. Marcus was dead and couldn’t be punished for any of his crimes.
“Hey. How’s Doc?” Brogan asked when he saw Steve standing in the doorway.
“Okay as she can be. She came out with minor physical damage, but I’m not sure about the emotional yet.” Steve ran a hand over his head, dragged his fingers through his hair.
“You heading home?” Quinn asked.
“Yeah, Doctor and Mrs. Monroe are with her now. I’ll let them have a few minutes and then we’ll head out.”
“Gordie’s going with you? She isn’t going home with the Monroes?” Brogan asked.
“She doesn’t want to go home with them. Doctor Monroe seems to understand it better than I do though. I thought for sure she’d want to be with them.”
“She needs her mate,” Quinn said.
“I guess, but she’s fought against it for so long I can’t see that it would be this easy.”
“It’s not going to be easy, Steve.” Kat came up beside him. “She’s shutting down. She won’t talk to any of us. Mom and Dad are just getting her dressed, where’s your truck?”
“Shit. Down the street. I’ll go get it, bring it around the back.”
“Okay. I’ll let Gordie know that’s what you’re doing.” Kat walked back down the hall.
“I’ll talk to you guys later.” Steve waved as he headed out the back door.
* * * * *
Gordie allowed her mother and father to fuss over her. It must have been a shock for them to arrive home and find the mess she’d found herself in. They’d avoided the subject and while she was glad, she knew it meant rehashing the event later but right now she just wanted to forget everything that had happened in the last few days. The door opened and Steve came in. Well, maybe not everything.
“Ready to go home?” he asked.
Home. Such a simple word. One she thought she understood the meaning of until she’d taken that final step with Steve. Home wasn’t a house to her anymore. Home was Steve.
“Yes. Take me home.” She held her arms out and he stepped into her, lifting her off her feet for a full-body hug. Gordie buried her face in the warmth of his neck and bit her lip to stifle the tears threatening to fall. She refused to fall apart yet.
“We’ll see you all in a few days,” Steve said as he carried her from the room.
Gordie didn’t look up or say goodbye to her parents or sister and she certainly didn’t raise her head as Steve walked through the clinic. She didn’t want to chance seeing anything again today. There’d be plenty of time in the coming weeks to deal with the clinic and the carnage Marcus had caused.
Steve placed her in the front seat and buckled her in. It wasn’t the first time but she sure hoped it would be the last. She stared out the side window the whole time he drove up the mountain. He kept reaching over and patting her thigh but he needed two hands on the wheel for most of the treacherous drive.
They pulled into his driveway but he didn’t go into the garage. The plow on the front had pushed a drift of snow up to the garage door. He hopped out and walked around to her side. She fell against him when he opened the door and unbuckled her seatbelt.
“Come on, let’s get you inside and I’ll come back out and deal with the truck in a minute.” He picked her up in his arms and walked through the snow to the front door.
How he managed to get the door unlocked and open and both of them inside without dropping her she didn’t know. She heard the door close behind them and sighed in relief. The warmth of the house surrounded her and she shuddered.
“Cold? Want me to turn the heat up?” He strode down the hall to his room.
“No, it’s fine.”
“I’ll run a bath. The warm water will be good for your sore muscles.”
Steve set her on the closed toilet and turned on the bath taps. The tub was huge, made for two and the nozzles around the sides tempted her beyond reason.
“Can I turn the Jacuzzi on?”
“Definitely.”
He helped her undress and into the bath. The water was warm and she leaned back and let the heat seep into her skin and soothe her aches.
“I’ll be back in five minutes. Don’t let the water get above here.” He pointed to the top of the jets.
“Okay.”
Steve left and for the first time since she’d come to in the exam room she was completely alone. Her mind swirled with everything that had happened. She tried to retrace her steps, tried to work out if there was some other way things could have turned out. Gordie was relieved that Tatum and the babies were okay. There was no way she could have coped with that on her conscience.
She reached over to turn off the taps when the water rose above the silver jets. Lying back, she closed her eyes and willed herself to think of anything but today. Gordie hoped Steve returned soon or she’d fall to pieces. Startled by a noise behind her she sat up, her eyes opening wide.
“Sorry, should have made more noise coming through the bedroom. Didn’t mean to frighten you.” He stood next to the tub. Naked.
Gordie held up her hand. “Please.” She didn’t know what she was asking for but he seemed to understand what she needed.
He climbed in behind her and cradled her against his chest. When he pressed the button near his head the jets pulsed to life, the water and bubbles surging through them to pummel her from all sides. It was a gentle massage, rolling over aching muscles and tender bruises. Steve washed her with a soft, soapy cloth. Gentle strokes over sensitive skin.
When she was clean they lay back and enjoyed the spa bath. They stayed there until the water began to cool. The whole time he just held her close and drew small circles on her stomach with his fingertips. Suddenly the light touches weren’
t enough, she needed to feel him inside her, around her.
“Make love to me.”
“Are you sure?” He stilled his movements. “You’ve been through a lot.”
“I want to forget. Help me forget, Steve.”
Steve stood, taking her with him. Water dripped from their bodies as he stepped out onto the mat. He didn’t bother with towels, just strode out of the bathroom and over to the bed. Her back hit the soft quilt and Steve came down on top of her. She pulled his mouth to hers and thrust her tongue between his lips. Gordie tried to rush. Tried to dive deep into the mindless bliss being with him offered but he wouldn’t let her.
He slowed her movements. Controlled her tongue with his and dragged her back to a leisurely pace. His hands stroked her body, soft, sweeping actions that nudged her closer and closer to ecstasy. She tangled her fingers in the hair at his nape, ran her nails over his scalp and let him have his way.
They strolled up to the peak and when she fell from the edge he held her close and let her land in his waiting arms. He wedged his knee between hers and parted her legs. With a slow, easy glide, he slid inside her wet heat until he was buried deep. The ride was a gentle, calm journey back to the top. As they reached the summit he quickened the tempo, plunged harder, withdrew faster. Gordie gripped his shoulders, her fingers digging in to the tense muscles beneath his sweat-slick skin.
His mouth claimed hers in a kiss that mimicked the movements of their hips. Gordie lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, the change in angle allowing for deep penetration, more stimulation and she was soon gasping for breath and rolling with the waves of her orgasm. Steve drove his cock to the hilt and came with her name on his lips.
They collapsed, exhausted, sweaty and well satisfied. He turned on his side, taking her with him, his softening length slipping from her body to rest between them. She waited to catch her breath, waited for the numbness to fade and real life to intrude once more but the day had taken a toll and she drifted to sleep before she could think about it anymore.
Chapter Eight
Gordie rolled over and flinched in pain. In seconds, memories from the day before came rushing back to drown her in fear, desperation, anger and guilt. Emotions bombarded her, clouding her brain and twisting her insides. Her stomach pitched and she jumped from the bed to race for the bathroom. She made it just in time to dry heave into the toilet bowl. Her hollow belly contracted again and again. Steve came in behind her.
“Go away.” She didn’t want him to see her like this, couldn’t bear for him to watch her when she lost control. It was going to happen. She could feel herself unraveling.
“No.”
A warm cloth wiped across the back of her neck, over her forehead and she shivered at the contact. Her whole body trembled and her tummy continued to convulse in a vain attempt to expel something that wasn’t there. She couldn’t remember the last meal she’d eaten. All she knew for sure was she’d eat again and Marcus wouldn’t.
“Don’t, Gordie.”
“Don’t what?” She struggled to her feet, stood on shaky legs and tried to push past him.
“Blame yourself for Marcus’ death.” He blocked the doorway with his body.
“Don’t blame myself?” She laughed, the sound harsh and grating to her ears. “How do I do that when I’m the one who killed him?”
“He was on a path of self-destruction. It could have been any one of us he came after with murder on his mind.”
“But it wasn’t.” Her voice grew louder. “It was me!”
“Gordie.” He reached for her but she brushed his hand aside.
“Don’t you see?” she screamed. “This isn’t me! It isn’t who I am or what I stand for. I’m trained to save lives, not take them.”
Gut-wrenching sobs broke free. She bent double, the pain ripping her in two. Her body shook violently as what she’d done tore at her very soul. Her knees gave out and she tumbled to the floor, arms wrapped around her middle in a desperate attempt to hold it together. Why now? Why did she have to give in to the grief, the guilt, now? She didn’t want to lose control and fall apart in front of the one person she couldn’t hide anything from.
Steve slipped to the floor beside her and scooped her back against his chest. Turning her, he cradled her in his warm embrace and rocked her like a child. The gentle care, the understanding and love that he gave her no matter how much she fought it enveloped Gordie and she cried harder for all that she’d lost. They’d lost.
“I can’t stay,” she sobbed.
He stilled beneath her. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t live here. Can’t live through the whispers again.” She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“What whispers?”
“The pack. They’ll talk behind my back like last time, whisper behind their hands whenever I’m near.” She hiccupped as she tried to stifle another sob. “I couldn’t live with it when Anthony died. Barely coped when I came back. Oh God.”
“Stop.” Steve tipped her face up and looked into her eyes. “No one will whisper behind your back and if they do, stiff shit. Who cares what they think or say? Your friends, your family, me, none of us will ever judge you for what happened yesterday. And you can bet every one of those men is wishing he’d been there to protect you. To save you from going through what you did. Especially me.”
He closed his eyes, rested his forehead on hers and took a deep breath. “Gordie, what you did yesterday would affect the toughest of men and I know beyond a doubt that if there had been any other way to stop Marcus you would have. Killing him was the last resort. The only choice when push came to shove and it’ll haunt me to my dying day that I wasn’t there to do it for you.”
His eyelids lifted. Moisture pooled in his eyes and sadness so great she hurt for him swam in the dark depths of his gaze. “Steve—”
“No.” He placed a finger over her lips. “Don’t say anything. Come back to bed and let me hold you for a while. I need to know you’re safe. That you’re here.”
Gordie couldn’t hold out against his obvious need. He’d given so much of himself and not just in the last few days. He’d been there in the background for years and she doubted she could find the strength to get through this without him. When they were together she was stronger, it seemed logical he would feel the same. They’d only just begun to explore a future and the idea of one without Steve made her heart ache—her stomach cramp.
“Take me back to bed.”
She wasn’t sure how she’d cope with the events of yesterday but for now she’d put that aside and be what he needed. What they needed.
* * * * *
Steve held Doc while she slept. They’d been lying in the dark for hours but the first rays of sun were lighting up the sky now. The predicted storm had either missed them or not arrived yet. He glanced to the side, the digital readout on his clock showed six twenty-four. Too early to get up, too late to try for any more sleep. He sighed. Not that he’d been able to rest after she’d broken down.
Fear that she’d leave the mountains consumed him. Gnawed at his gut. He couldn’t live without her. Not now that they’d connected. But he didn’t see himself living anywhere but here. Whispering Springs was his home, building this house had been his dream, a dream he wanted to share with Gordie. His arms tightened around her and she snuggled closer. Should he take her acceptance of him in her most unguarded moment as a sign?
He stared through the skylight seeing nothing but dark rolling clouds as the daylight did its best to break through. Snow began to fall, light flurries that slid down the curved sheet of glass. Steve had designed the skylight himself, had the panel of toughened glass specially made. The majority of the house around them was handcrafted. From the timber beams supporting the roof and floors, to the furniture filling the rooms, he’d taken his dreams and turned them into reality.
“Why doesn’t the snow stick to the glass?”
Steve hadn’t realized Doc was awake. “The curved shape plus the
house’s heat rises to warm the panel from underneath. Small falls like this don’t stick but if we get a good storm, more than a foot of snow on the ground, it’ll cover the glass.”
“You’re not worried it will break?”
“No. That piece is specially designed, double glazed, you’d have to break it with a jackhammer.”
“What else did you design?”
Her interest thrilled him but he didn’t just want to tell her, he wanted to show. “Let’s get dressed. We’ll have something to eat and I’ll give you the grand tour.”
“Are you cooking?”
A niggle of fear pecked at his gut. Her voice was flat, devoid of any emotion and he wondered if it was an effect of the damage Marcus had done to her throat when he’d tried to choke the life out of her or if she’d clamped down on her feelings and shut him out again. “I’ll cook.”
He threw the covers back and rolled to the edge of the mattress. Sitting up, he scanned the floor for his pants before he remembered tossing the wet jeans in the wash last night. It suddenly dawned on him that Doc had no clothes. She’d come home in a hospital gown and the last thing on his mind had been to swing by her house to pick up the bag she’d packed. He hadn’t washed in a week either, so the clothes she left the other day were still in the hamper.
“Damn.” Steve stretched his back as he stood, glancing over his shoulder at Doc.
She’d pulled the quilt up under her armpits and leaned back on the headboard. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m running out of clean clothes.” He strode over to the dresser and rummaged around in the drawers. “I’ve got exactly three t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and one pair of sweatpants.”
“I’ll take a shirt and the sweatpants. I can put a load of washing on while you cook breakfast.” She slipped from under the covers and got out of bed. With no regard for her nakedness, Doc walked toward him.
Steve groaned as he watched her breasts bounce with each step, his blood heated and his cock hardened. They’d made love twice during the night, the last time only a few hours ago and yet his body wanted more. He turned away, hoped “out of sight out of mind” worked. But it didn’t stand a chance when her scent surrounded him and he could hear her pulling the shirt over her head, and picturing those gorgeous breasts being covered up did nothing to deflate his erection. He yanked on his jeans and carefully pulled up the zipper.