Because I’m a fucking coward.
Because I can’t let Jay know my dirty little secret.
Morgan takes a drink from the margarita Frankie made, but she has a sly, sneaky smile on her pretty lips.
Our secret.
Her wet panties are in my pocket as I turn away from her and look directly at Jay, who’s smiling as he cuts into his steak. “Not sure why you fuckers needed salad so bad.”
“Maybe some of us want to live past forty.” Frankie picks up her glass, taking a drink. She looks across the table at Morgan. “The salad’s delicious. Totally worth cleaning Ty’s fridge just so you could make it.”
Her eyes are knowing, as they stay locked on Morgan.
Frankie is too smart for her own good, but she doesn’t rat us out by voicing her suspicions out loud.
“Yeah, why the fuck are you cleaning his fridge anyway?” Jay takes a big bite, and Morgan stays cool. But I don’t make her answer.
I shift the focus over to Frankie, knowing Jay will quickly change gears. “So, Frankie, when are we going to meet the guy you’ve been seeing?”
Yeah, that did it. Jay’s shoulders straighten as he sits up, his back rigid with tension. “Seeing?” He scoffs loudly.
She ignores him, her eyes trained on me. “There’s no way I subject him to this.”
“We aren’t so bad.”
She laughs as Morgan takes over, playing along with my distraction plan. “We’re family. If you guys are getting serious, maybe it’s time to meet.”
Jay is obviously bothered and not even trying to hide it. “Serious? Please. What is it this time, Frankie . . . a CPA? Nice little tech nerd?”
Frankie has definitely tried her hand at overcorrecting since she and Jay had their mysterious falling-out. She’s dated a lot of guys she could clearly eat alive and who could never hold her interest.
“Something like that, Jay.”
Morgan takes a bite of lettuce, nibbling on it casually. “What does he do exactly? You’ve been pretty tight-lipped.”
Frankie takes another drink, not looking over at Jay. His eyes, however, are boring into her. “He’s a firefighter in the city.”
Well. Shit.
I can’t fight the laugh as I take a drink from the frozen margarita Frankie forced on me. I’m usually a straight liquor guy. “Well damn, Frankie. Touché.”
I hold my drink up, toasting to her, and she laughs, her face lighting up as she holds her glass up to mine, and they make a clanking sound.
“Damn girl, why wouldn’t you tell me that part?” Morgan smiles into her margarita, looking over at her brother with caution and slight worry as he seethes in his seat.
Frankie shrugs. “It’s all new. I’m just enjoying my time with him.”
“I bet you are,” Morgan laughs into her drink.
Jay looks across the table at me, darkness in his eyes. “That reminds me . . . You and I have a date this Saturday.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about. Is he trying to get back at Frankie with a lie? This isn’t middle school. “I mean, Jay you’re hot and all . . .”
“Fuck off.” He smirks as Frankie studies him, seeing what move he’s going to take next, and Morgan looks over at me. I see apprehension in her eyes before Jay continues. “A double date. Two chicks from the shop. They want to show us a good time.”
I nearly groan but know he’s hurting. He will never admit how much it kills him when Frankie is with another man. “I’m working Saturday till close.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I know. They’re meeting us there after work.”
Morgan looks slightly irritated as she shifts in her seat. “What kind of woman meets for a first date at midnight?”
“The exact type of women these boys like.” Frankie rests her elbows on the glass table, leaning forward slightly. “Easy. Ditzy. And trashy.”
Jay places his fork on the table, his eyes narrowing in Frankie’s direction. “Jealous, Frankie?”
And she gives it right back, her head slowly turning, her eyes full of fire only for him. “Why would I be? I’m having regular sex.” Her tongue flicks with fury and near hatred in his direction. “Being completely satisfied for once.”
Morgan watches them with fear, and we both know this is all going to explode someday soon.
I almost feel bad for starting this up tonight as a cheap distraction from me fucking Morgan in the kitchen with them outside waiting on us.
Almost.
“I’m not interested in a date.”
“Relax.” Jay’s eyes meet mine. “They don’t want anything but that pretty boy smile and to borrow your body for a bit.”
I swallow, not looking at Morgan, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering if she’s pissed or jealous. Or is she serious? Can she handle me with other women?
Do I even want to go?
Hours later, Jay and Frankie leave separately, not having really spoken to each other since dinner, and Morgan sticks around to clean up. At least that’s what she told them.
She’s loading the dishwasher in the kitchen when I bring dishes in and set them in the sink, wrapping my arms around her waist. “You don’t really have to help me clean up.”
She’s smiling. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. “You’re kind of a slob, you know? Who else would?”
I laugh, leaning down to rest my chin on her shoulder. “Hey, I’ve cleaned up a little.”
She laughs, but doesn’t move as she stays pressed against the counter, and the memories of us before dinner take over, making me want her even more. “I’m not going this Saturday.”
“Going where?” Does she really not know what I’m talking about or is she trying to be casual?
“On that bullshit double date with Jay.”
She spins on one foot, turning around to confront me. “What? Why wouldn’t you?”
She wants me to go? “Why the fuck would I?” I rest one hand on the counter to the left of her body and the other on the right, caging her in.
“You and I are just friends, Ty. You’re allowed to fuck whoever you want.”
I can feel my right eye tick. “And you’re allowed to fuck whoever you want?”
It shouldn’t be a question, but that’s how it came out. “Yes. Exactly. I told you, I can handle this. You don’t need to worry about hurting my feelings.”
What the fuck?
I can’t explain why that pisses me off, all I know is it does.
“Right.”
She turns back around, grabbing a plate out of the sink and turning the water on to rinse it off. “You should go. If it’s something you would have done before you started fucking me, you should go.”
I think she’s bluffing.
But who knows? Maybe she really is this cool. Or maybe she’s fucking Chase too and that’s why she’s so fine with this.
Did she fuck him today? Were his hands on her?
I growl, grasping her hips and pulling her body back into me. “I hadn’t fucked anyone for a while before that.”
Her body sinks into mine as she turns the faucet off and leans her head back into my chest. “Well, now you have your mojo back.”
I smooth one hand over the cloth of her dress covering her flat stomach. “That’s for damn sure.”
“Don’t worry about me, Ty.”
My nose nuzzles her bare neck as my hands slide up to her arms, holding her to my body. “I’m not thinking about anyone else but you.”
“Just know that you’re free.”
My lips slide over her skin. “You set me free.”
And it’s true, I’ve never felt more free and so caged in my life.
“Frankie?”
She pulls her black sunglasses down, peeking over the top of them. “Is he here?”
I stare at her, folding my arms over my chest. It’s really early in the morning for Frankie. She’s dressed in shorts and a white tank top with a black sports bra under, and she’s holding two coffees.
“Who?”
>
She rolls her eyes that are perfectly lined with black eyeliner and dark mascara. “Ty.”
She knows. I knew she knew last night, but it doesn’t stop me from playing stupid to make sure. “Why would Ty be here at seven in the morning?”
She holds one of the coffees out for me, leaning in closer. “Probably because he was fucking you all night.”
He was, but he had an early shift at work, and I decided to come home early. “Not here.”
I shrug, taking the coffee, closing my front door, and taking a seat on the top step of my porch.
She takes a seat next to me. “Ah, so he fucked you at his place. I tried you there first.”
Of course she did. “Was he home?”
She laughs. “No.”
He probably went for a run before work.
“When did you guys start hooking up?”
No more bullshit. “It hasn’t been for long.”
“Relationship?”
I take a drink of my coffee, stretching my legs out in front of me, the sun beating down on my bare skin. “No. Casual.”
She scoffs as she takes a drink of the coffee, and I prepare myself, knowing her tough love approach is coming. “There is no such thing as casual with you and Ty.”
“You’re wrong. It’s going great.”
“Uh huh, and when he goes out with some little tramp on Saturday, you’re going to be just fine, right?”
I’m trying not to think about it. I’m used to Jay trying to get Ty laid and them being each other’s wingmen. Being cool and casual is how I need to act or Ty will pull back, afraid I’m going to get hurt.
I don’t want anything to mess up this arrangement.
“I told him to go.”
I can feel her studying my face from the side, but I don’t dare look at her. “You did?”
“I did.”
“So, you’re this totally cool chick who is finally fucking the guy of her dreams, a guy you’ve been in love with for nearly a decade, but you’re so fucking cool and new age that you’re fine with him fucking other girls?”
I swallow the bile rising in my throat, thinking about another woman being all over him. It’s something I’ve endured for a long time. Over the years, I’ve seen women touching him. I’ve seen them kissing him, and hell, I’ve even walked in on women riding him, totally naked and lost to the world. I’ve seen it all.
And every single time, jealousy sliced through me with its vengeful might.
“Why should now be any different? I’m not a little kid who believe sex changes things.”
She’s still analyzing me, and I really want her to stop. “Oh my God, you really do though, right?” I turn to face her, wishing she would just let it go, but it’s Frankie. “You think now that he’s given in, that’s he’s gotten a taste with you, that he’s kissed you . . . that he won’t want anyone else.”
“Frankie, stop.”
But she doesn’t. Because she cares. But her love is brutal. “Morgan, you’re smarter than this. You’re letting yourself believe that if you’re this ‘cool’ girl who gives him sex and freedom that eventually, he’ll truly see you. That he won’t want anyone else because he has you, and you’re everything he needs.”
I’m pissed, and it’s misplaced, but she can take it. “So what? That shit happens, Frankie. Just because you weren’t enough to keep Jay on a leash doesn’t mean things can’t work out for me and Ty.”
She doesn’t go as low as she could. Her jaw ticks, and I see in her eyes that she wants to. They all protect me like a fragile doll. “You’re right. I really thought the same thing with Jay. Because that’s what we do. We convince ourselves we can be enough, eventually. And it’s fucking toxic behavior that needs to change.”
She stands, and I stay seated, trying to catch my breath from facing the truth because I know deep inside that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I want to keep him long enough to fall.
I’m the definition of pathetic, and I’m that girl strong women across the world have always pitied.
And they should pity me, but I can’t stop feeling the hope in the depths of my soul.
“People change, Frankie.”
“Who the fuck do you know who’s changed? They don’t change.”
“Chris was a player back in the day. We’ve all heard the stories. He would rather die than hurt Amy.” Although, I don’t know their whole story. I just know he’s totally devoted to her.
She nods her head and takes a seat again, taking my free hand in hers, resting them both in her lap. “Exactly. Because to him, she was worth not hurting because she was the right one.” Her eyes lock on mine. “You are too good to sit around and wait for him to wake up.”
“He’s not like us, Frankie. I get why Jay doesn’t want marriage and kids and all that.” Tears fill my eyes as I plead with her to understand, to come over to my side even if it’s only a little. “Our childhood was godawful. He went through things no one would wish on their worst enemy. We never knew love. But Ty? Frankie, his parents have been married since before he was born. They’re still married. He’s seen real love and marriage. We are not you and Jay.”
She squeezes my hand in hers softly. “You’re not us. That’s for damn sure. And maybe Ty isn’t the way he is because of nurture. But being a player and fucking who he wants, when he wants, that’s definitely his nature.”
“Can’t you just humor me? That’s what girlfriends do for each other.”
She shakes her head. “I love you too damn much to support stupid. And you are too smart to think this is a good idea. You know it’s not. You know you’re going to be broken from this, and what’s worse, because of the way you grew up, you think you deserve it.”
“Frankie.” It’s another plea, and this time she pulls me to her and wraps me up in a hug.
“I know, Morgan.”
I want her to be wrong.
But I know she’s not.
The race is in Kansas City this weekend so I didn’t have to travel, which is nice.
What’s not nice?
These assholes always at each other’s throats.
I place a hand on Tate’s chest, keeping him separated from Chase as we wait to go into the country club where the charity event is taking place tonight. The event set up by Evie Adamson, who just walked by on her phone, barking orders as they set up for the guys to arrive in fashion.
She looks like a goddess in her black dress with blond hair swept to the side with elegance and grace that seeps from every pore.
I’m almost glad I didn’t invite Ty. I mean, of course I wanted him here, but I assumed the memories would be too painful.
Would he miss her if he saw her?
I try to shake the insecure thought as Tate sneers in Chase’s direction, “You better stay out of my way Sunday.”
It’s only Friday. Chase flew in today and isn’t leaving until Monday.
“Don’t worry about it, fucker. You won’t even see me, I’ll be so far ahead.”
“I distinctly remember telling both of you, you had to get along.”
Both men scoff loudly as they announce it’s time for them to go in. I hang back with all the other assistants as the racers and some of their significant other’s join them in greeting the crowd. I hear applause and shake my head.
They only see what the assistants, agents, and PR people want them to see. If they knew who these men really were, would they still applaud? Who knows?
After the fancy dinner and most of the crowd has dispersed, I wait outside for Chase to finish with a member of the waitstaff I saw him escort toward the bathrooms earlier.
I’m ready to head to Ty’s house, needing a fix and totally unbothered by what Chase is up to. With him, it truly was just sex.
He saunters out, his tux wrinkled, his dress shirt still open, and he looks way too fucking happy.
It makes me laugh as I shake my head at him when he approaches. “Damn, that was one fun charity event.”
&n
bsp; I roll my eyes as he stops only a foot in front of me. “Let’s get you back to the hotel, Prince Charming.”
He grins as my back rests against one of the pillars outside the club, his hand moves to lay against it, bracing his weight as he leans into me. “I’m definitely ready for round two.”
“I told you, that’s not happening anymore.”
“Come on, Morgan.” His smile is handsome as he smirks, his eyes landing on mine. “We had fun. Why stop?”
“I’ve found someone else to satisfy my needs.”
He’s studying my face now, not hurt or jealous. More curious. “Oh yeah? Better than me?” He uses his other hand to tip my chin. “Because that’s impossible.”
My eyes meet his with no fear and no backing down. “He’s really fucking good.”
“Morgan?”
Shit. We both turn to look to the person who said my name.
Ty.
This does not look good.
I press on Chase’s chest to push him back as I walk to Ty, who’s dressed casually in jeans and a sexy t-shirt that hugs his muscles perfectly. “What are you doing here?”
What is it I’m seeing in his eyes? Anger? Betrayal? Jealousy?
I’m not sure.
“I guess I got my night wrong.” He nods his head in Chase’s direction. “Guess it’s his night tonight.”
Asshole. “I’m working tonight. I told you that.”
“Yeah, you did. You said that you had a charity event at the club.” Chase is taunting him with a cocky smile, and Ty’s eyes fly to mine. “That didn’t look like work.”
“Aw come on, even work can be pleasurable if you truly enjoy it.” Chase takes another step in our direction. He doesn’t know Ty, but he must have picked up on him being the guy I was talking about.
Ty growls, low in his throat, but doesn’t address Chase. “Yeah well, you guys enjoy.”
He starts to walk off, but I grab his arm, looking over at Chase. “Give us a minute.” Chase holds his hands up in the air and takes a step back, allowing me the space I’m asking for, and I walk further away, holding onto Ty’s arm. “Why are you here?”
He pulls out of my hold. “I wanted to be here for you. I could tell you wanted me to go to this, that you wanted to ask me to join you.”
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