by Coco Houston
He gets up late this morning, coming down the stairs wearing an angelic expression as if to say chocolate wouldn’t melt in his hands. I stand in front of him, with so much venom in my voice, I inform that if he ever raises his hands to me again, I promise to do away with him. Brad Blake is then instructed that better still, I don’t need to do it, as I can quite easily have him done away with. Guess what? He says fucking nothing. He knows for a fact that is exactly the kind of power I have, because of the friends and the connections I still hold to this day from my past.
I leave him sitting thinking about this, as I go off to write my manuscript. My tears fall once more, while Versace just sits yet again listening to me as I promise myself out loud, “If Blake shows any more violence towards me ever again, Versace, I intend to leave him for ever.” The little dog just looks up at me with big brown eyes; I wonder how much he really understands as he lies down beside me, whilst determinedly wiping away my tears from my puffy eyes and inflamed face, I start to type my manuscript.
30th October
Brad and I celebrate the anniversary of our first secret wedding in the woods tonight. It is supposed to be special as we share a bath together in candlelight, just as we did way back then after taking those fateful vows in my bare feet and cream coloured silk underwear. Sitting in a bath with bubbles scented with champagne and strawberries, it feels so romantic. Brad then pours in real champagne then actually drops some of the fresh strawberries into the water. Both of us sit amidst it, holding a crystal glass each with contents of the same in them, champagne with soft sweet red fruits. I smile at the extravagance of it as he pours even more of the bubbly champagne on top of my body watching it run into the soft fragmented soapy liquid bubbles, the sweet even more expensive wine begins to burst the bubbles, so Brad reaches over for the rest of the liquid left in the expensive bottle before spilling it all into the water to make some more. How the other half live, I lie back contemplating, then I think of the changes in our life since that wedding night; if I had known then what I know now, would I still have gone through with it all? Probably not, hindsight is a wonderful thing but a little too late in showing its true colours. We get up out of the water; however, I feel I would like to stay but I would have dissolved if I had sat in there much longer. Or maybe it is our love that is dissolving, I acknowledge, realising it is a real possibility. Brad smiles, complaining he is all wrinkled. I giggle cheekily, “You always were, Blake.” He lifts me up into the air before plonking me wrapped in my warm dry fluffy towel back into the bath of cooling champagne water. I scream in temper with fright, he leaves the bathroom laughing at me while I sit mortified at the situation I am now in; raging, I yell “You stupid bastard!” after him. Splashing angrily with the towel soaking wet, with water going everywhere, I get out of the bath once again. Stomping for another dry towel, I leave wet prints all over the place. I am cold now, wrapping another towel round me I think of him, fucking idiot.
Upon going down the stairs, I find that Brad has all the lights out with just lit candles glowing in the darkness of the lounge. The log fire is still burning, making the place look subtly cosier. I am still annoyed with him as I begin to search quizzically for the images of my wolf in the shadows, but it is not to be found there at all tonight; I cannot find his shape anywhere on the ceiling or the walls made by the flickering, dancing flames. I sit down beside Brad on the rug in front of the fire, feeling the soft thick wool tickle the skin of my bare legs. As Brad lays me down naked onto my back, I sink into the soft sheepskin fur, enjoying the sensation of it on my bare body as he licks me gently between my legs. He flickers his tongue over my clitoris until I come time after time. I float in another world as I raise my hips to his mouth, grabbing his curly hair; I pull his face into me, greedily demanding more. After I am spent, he turns me round, putting me up onto my knees. He enters me from behind, pushing his cock into me fast and hard before emptying himself right up me. Contented, I roll back over onto my back once more as the smouldering wood on the fire projects a soft heat that caresses my nakedness. Brad then takes my hand, kissing it before putting the little gold Celtic ring back on my finger, promising to love me forever and then some.
Brad then gets up leaving me where I lie; holding my hand up into the air, I smirk at the gold ring sparkling in the firelight whilst stretching my body out, this time on the rug like the white on rice. Brad goes into the kitchen fridge for more champagne, I hear the fridge door open then close again with a quiet thump. The noise of the champagne cork comes out with a pop, which echoes loudly, before Brad fills the glasses with the golden liquid, which sounds like water running. On lifting them, they make a tinkling sound as they clink together; next his footsteps are heard as he makes his way back; while lying listening to every single sound of him, I raise my eyes looking upwards at my ceiling. There, consequently, so clearly right above my head in those shifting shadows is an image, it’s showing the dark picture of my wolf. My wolf has a name, it told me its name, but I can’t remember what it is called tonight. Perhaps it will tell me again tomorrow.
31st October
I take Brad to hell and back tonight. It happens after we celebrated Samhain, the Witches’ Sabbat for Halloween, after we had celebrated the traditional Sabbat of Samhain, which is the Druid New Year. It is a sacred festival and the most important one of all the four Sabbats. It marks the end of the goddess-ruled summer and welcomes in the beginning of the god-ruled winter. Samhain Eve is the night when spirits of friends and dead loved ones are believed to return to rejoice, albeit very briefly, with the living. It is also time in the witches’ calendar to give thanks for the year’s harvest and celebrate the gathering of the crops. The carving of pumpkins or jack-o-lanterns, as sometimes they are referred to, is an ancient custom belonging to and dating all the way back to the ancient druids. It is believed their eerie grotesque faces lit up from inside with candles possess the power to scare away malevolent spirits of the bad witches who return, haunting the living on the night of Samhain. The drink I serve tonight on Samhain is homemade Samhain cider; we drink it accompanied by warm home-baked wild berry bread. There are other traditional foods used to celebrate Samhain but this is all I made for us tonight.
At the end of the Samhain rituals, I run upstairs to change the robes I donned into another set of black ones. I wear a black lace bra underneath the flowing gowns but have no pants on. I just put in a tampon as I am bleeding, quite heavily actually. Having my period appear uncalculated was more than suitable, Mother Nature being in perfect timing for what I had planned on ahead for this evening. Smirking at myself in the mirror, I feel like the Wicked Queen looking at the reflective glass in the story of Snow White, as just like her, I am also plotting an evil plan. Not with a Huntsman but with my wolf in my head, who is instructing me in the nicest but most sick evil terms what I must do at midnight. I am a white witch. I am also a black witch, as I practise both white and black magic now. White witches do not worship or sell their souls to Satan as they don’t believe in the existence of the devil. They never have! Wiccan believe that everything that exists in the universe is divided into male and female, also darkness and light, death and life, positive and negative, bringing in the balance of nature. I however perform both sides of magic now and that is entirely up to me. I am also protestant of the Christian faith; therefore, I believe in God and in Satan, as you cannot believe in one without the other. I am also a confirmed member of the Catholic Church studying the Catholic Religion, so I am very aware of good from bad, right from wrong; still I make my own choices. My wolf in the shadows is fast becoming my friend. The wolf in my head is perhaps my very own devil, my ruler occasionally, so at justified times I shall follow its instructions. Or is this just an excuse to do exactly as I please? I choose to worship both religions as I choose to worship both forms of magic. You see, this gives me a lot more scope to do just that; exactly as I please. Whenever I want, I change my beliefs, then my tactics to be whoever and whatever I want to be. As a sol
itary witch, I make my own rules! What we think we become, what we feel we attract, what we imagine we create. As above. So below.
"You are clever that way, don’t you think, Coco?" asks my wolf in my head. “Yes, I am, very clever, Mr Wolf!” I answer silently but very pleased with his conformation on this matter.
Brad sits downstairs waiting in the lounge while upstairs I clarified my position with myself and my new best friend, the wolf as I swap my clothes to go out with Brad. He just did not know what I’d changed into or where we were going in a while, besides it was very wintry out with drizzling rain. Good enough, no perfect for me, I agree with my reflection, as still I stand approving myself in the mirror. There, for definite, would not be a lot of people about tonight albeit Halloween, especially now, not out in this weather, besides it is very late. Blowing myself a kiss in the mirror after admiring myself a little longer, I turn then walk away. The mirror never lies, just a few moments before it had told me that I looked very good tonight, I think sure, yes, the statement it had concluded really is absolutely right. "Confidence with vanity tonight, Coco, dangerous mixture of the allure," whispered the wolf sarcastically. “Fuck off!” I reply, then I ignore the wolf; I’ve listened to it enough for one night.
Going downstairs I whisper into Brad’s ear, “Let’s go.” He gets up quickly, lifting the car keys, he opens the car doors then as he stays behind to lock up the house, I run to the jeep. Glad to be inside the car, at least it is dry in here but also bitterly cold. Brad jumps into the driving, seat slamming the door on the now pouring down rain. He starts shaking himself like a dog to dry off a bit, thus causing all the rain droplets from him to sprinkle the wet all over the car, also onto me. “Brad!” I say no more than his name because he sure is going to be a whole lot more than a little wet where he is going.
He drives under my instructions to a place called The Auld Kirk that sits out in Alloway. (Scottish phrase auld means old, Kirk is a church. The place is historically famous especially for being brought to life in one of the most famous Scottish poems called ‘Tam o’ Shanter’, which is known worldwide, written by the famous Scottish poet Robert Burns.)
As we arrive at the Auld Kirk, we both get out of the car. In the dark of the night the wind is howling, with heavy rain still falling, it soaks right through all my robes before I even reach the middle of the ancient graveyard. Brad is holding my hand as struggling against the elements I plough on. I am used to this by now as I am always out making my spells in all kinds of weather; this is a regular thing for me to be soaked and chilled to the bone. Need to find a spell to control the weather or wear waterproof gowns, I stupidly decide. Brad’s voice breaks my thoughts, I am aware of him shouting at me from behind, “COCO!” then, “COCO, WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING? WHAT ARE WE DOING IN HERE?” I just keep on moving, stepping over the hundreds of years old tombstones, searching desperately for a suitable place to cast my spell.
Brad is following me to start with but then backtracks, hoping to shelter some from the storm up against the side of the old church wall. I change my mind. I won’t cast my satanic spell here after all. I have too much respect for this graveyard. I know of another old abandoned graveyard it is not far from here, that would do just the same. I run back to the kirk wall, taking his hand, I shout above the storm, “Let’s go!” Brad is so pleased he runs like fuck out of the place to the car.
We drive out to the other old graveyard and after finding an appropriate place to cast my circle, I approach Brad suddenly and unexpectedly I kiss him roughly on the mouth. I hold him in place by the hair; I tease him by gently flickering my tongue in and out of his mouth. Upon distracting him now I can lift up my robes, searching with my free hand between my legs, my fingers search for the string hanging from the tampon I wear, on finding it, I gently pull on it as I removed the Tampax from my bleeding vagina. I smirk happily whilst now licking his neck, before dropping the tampon at his feet on the ground a sacrificial offering of my blood to Satan. “Queen of the witches, Coco!” shouts the wolf. I accept congratulations with glee, as the wolf continues, “Just dance to Satan playing the fiddle, dance round and round all the tombstones in the middle!” Abruptly, I move away from Brad, running through the pouring rain around all the graveyard while screaming and screaming. Then I stop yelling, stare at him coldly and begin to sing instead, holding my face and arms up towards the sky, holding my athame I cast my magic circle back to front. Then I dance, I dance for my wolf, I dance for Satan but not for Brad Blake. Spinning around and around, jumping and twirling in a large circle time after time, I begin screeching in a high-pitch voice, chanting my spell in unknown tongue as in a language of old, I invite the Devil to my party, and I beg him to accept my invitation as my words fly into the wind and torrential rain. I now draw in from the east the Witches’ Circle drawing the pentagram upside down as Brad stands a few feet away watching me; he must be fucking terrified then horrified on thinking I am possessed. I am now singing out my chant, my chant I wrote especially for tonight. I sing in our own language, so Brad along with the Devil can hear exactly what I say,
"The hurt you brought down on me
May it be returned times three
Head to toe, hair, heart, skin and nerve
I cast upon you what you deserve
OH! High Priestess I call on you
Hear me now as you always do
I shall cast a spell on him, damning him to me forever
Date on witches’ calendar is until the end of never
Spirits of Water, Fire, Earth and Air come as one
I cast this curse never to come undone
My vows of his ream are broken
As thou shalt harm none
This shall now return to me times three
So Be It! and So M It Be!!!
I walk now in the darkness of the witching hour
Goddess leave me now or enhance my power
I conjure thee, O Circle of the dark I entrance
Come join me Satan bring your fiddle to the dance
I close the circle now turning from the light
I offered my soul to the Devil tonight
In return, I damned Brad Blake to me
It was worth it don’t you see? Don’t you see?
Don’t you see? Don’t you see? Don’t you see?"
Dancing further away from him, I hear my music box playing the notes as I sing out loud, “He loves me? He loves me not? He loves me? He loves me not? Oh! He loves me now, until time has been forgot!" Brad is still shouting:”COCO, COCO, STOP THIS NOW!" then, “COCO, COCO, ARE YOU GOING FUCKING NUTS?” I walk slowly over to him, my eyes scanning the horror and panic showing on his face, I cannot only see it in his eyes; in fact, my wolf can even smell the fear in his breath. “COOOCOO, LET’S GO, COCO, NOW!”
I secretly smile, staring back at him, and then rolling my eyes I say out loud in a very deep voice: “NO! NO! LET’S JUST STAY!” Brad just about shit himself. I dance around singing, “By the pentacle that I wear, Water, Fire, Earth and Air ruled by spirit for all to see, as I speak so mote it be.” Then squeal even louder to the dark side, “Come to me Brad, you I enthral. Come dance with me and Satan at my ball!”
I take Brad by the hand into the middle of the circle. I take my mouth to his, biting down extremely hard on his lips to make sure this time I draw blood. “OUCH! FUCK, COCO!” he roars, putting his hand to his sore mouth. I remove his hand, which is all covered in blood. I do not answer but on kissing him, I spread into both our mouths his fresh red blood. Then I put my fingers between my legs and taking blood from me, I smear it across his lips as I kiss him harder, as we taste our blood mixing together, I feel him grow hard. I take the robe off my shoulders, unclip my bra and on removing it, fling it over a tombstone. Laughing sickly at that, wondering what my priest Father Peter would say, but not giving a fuck, not anymore. I run away from him and sit down resting my back on a tombstone, throwing my head backwards I take my athame to my neck, I cut my neck deeply, making it bl
eed badly. I sit on the grass bleeding, pulling the petals off a black silk rose, I brought with me. I pull at the petals of the rose saying, "He loves me? He loves me not?" I stab at the rose petals, He loves me? He loves me not? I stab my knife into the wet ground keeping in time with the notes as the music box plays in my head, He loves me? He loves me not? now I hear deep witch chanting music as a high-pitched voice echoes through the dark raining night, squealing an enchanting sound. Then a heavenly voice singing,
“He loves me? He loves me not?”
I get back up off the ground, walking over to him soaking with blood and the rain. He holds me tight into him as he kisses my neck, which is now very sticky, covered in blood along with the pouring rain. His head lowers further still as he kisses my hard nipples, they are rigid with the cold, and they are also covered in small droplets of the running blood. I lie down, opening my legs wide on the wet hard ground; then as the wind howls and the thunder rolls with the lightening flashing above us, I demand Brad Blake to enter me, I order him to fuck me hard at midnight in a haunted graveyard, then as he comes to me, shaking, he tries to put his cock into my already sticky pussy, he can’t manage but still I cover his cock in my thick red blood, laughing out loud, I scream into the night. I shout out loud, chanting in the darkness; I cast a spell that will bind us together, either in hatred or love but forever, until the end of time, bonding us with our fresh blood, while the Devil along with the dead and my wolf are my witnesses. As Brad stands up, he is trembling as he helps me up on to my feet. We are freezing cold and soaking wet. Shivering as he pulls up his pants, Brad begins to panic as he just realises that not only does he smell blood, he can taste it too before he sees t everywhere.
“COCO, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? EVERYTHING IS COVERED IN BLOOD! I AM COVERED IN BLOOD, OH! HELP ME! COCO, COCO YOU’RE, YOU’RE COVERED IN BLOOD!?” The fear in his voice pleases me.