by Jen Talty
“I’m sorry if I’ve come across like a total bitch.” Arcadia hadn’t wanted to enjoy these people, and she tried not to but failed miserably.
“You didn’t. But it was obvious to us that we were unexpected guests, so I cornered Gunner, and he explained he neglected to ask you before accepting our offer to bring dinner.” Lexi looped her arm through Arcadia’s and headed toward the front door. “You should know that Ace didn’t really give Gunner much of an opportunity to decline.”
“He still should have told me.” And she should have made a better effort to tell Gunner about his son.
A regret she’d carry forever.
“Perhaps. But Ace built this team. Every man he works side by side with was handpicked, and while I might be the love of his life, those men, Gunner included, are his brothers. Their bond is thicker than we can even imagine. When Ace says he takes care of his own, that includes those people his brothers care about. You’re stuck with us.”
“I could think of worse things to be stuck with.” Arcadia couldn’t remember the last time she felt like she was with her people. When she’d been married to Doug, his family had been nice enough, but she’d never been invited into their inner circle.
Gunner’s friends made her family the second they said hello.
And then there was the connection with Gunner. It might not be exactly what they used to have, but it was still something spectacular.
That terrified her.
“Mom! We’re ready to go,” Alex called from the porch.
“You better get going,” Arcadia said.
“We’ll take good care of him.” Lexi pulled her in for a long hug. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Thanks.” She tossed David’s bag in the back of the Suburban before kissing her son goodbye. “You be on your best behavior, you hear?”
“Yes, ma’am.” David wrapped his hands around her waist. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you more,” she whispered.
David skipped around the Suburban to where Gunner helped put Kelly in her car seat. “Hey, Dad,” David said. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For finding us.”
“Trust me, kid. No one is happier about that than me. I’m looking forward to being a better father to you.”
“You’re already the best!” David jumped up into the back of the Suburban. He waved frantically from the window with the biggest smile she’d ever seen.
Tears dabbed her eyes. “I need more wine.” She made a beeline for the kitchen and her full glass. She’d probably crack open a second bottle. She didn’t drink much, but tonight certainly called for it.
“Mind if I have a glass?” Gunner asked.
“Thought you couldn’t stand being in the same room with me?” She jogged up the porch steps and bolted through the main door, not glancing over her shoulder once. Her heart hammered against her ribcage, rattling her teeth. Being alone with Gunner made her want to hide under a rock, but only because she didn’t trust herself around him.
Better to stay mad at him than relax and enjoy his company, because if she did that, she knew they could easily end up in bed, and that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
“I was just being mean,” he said.
“We’ve gotten good at doing that.” She pulled down another red glass and handed him a fresh bottle and the corkscrew.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to spend time with David, but at the same time, I needed to discuss Wendel with my friends.” He swirled the red liquid before bringing it up to his nose and taking a big whiff. “Remember how much I used to hate this stuff?”
“It’s an acquired taste.” A long silence filled the room. Years of not knowing what happened to Gunner crashed down on her shoulders. Five years ago, she stopped contacting Colt other than sending the letters because she’d gotten sick and tired of his unwillingness to push his little brother into contacting her. Colt always told her that if Gunner wanted her in his life, she’d be in his life.
It also pissed her off that Colt wouldn’t hear a single word of what she had to say. The only thing he was willing to do was forward the letters.
How big of him.
“I could get into trouble for what I’m about to tell you, but I think you should know.”
“Do I really want to know?” she asked.
“Harper thinks, and I agree, that Wendel might have raped—”
Arcadia gasped. The wine glass slipped from her fingers and crashed to the floor.
“That’s the second time today that someone has broken glass when I was speaking.” Effortlessly, Gunner lifted her off her feet and carried her into the family room where he set her down on the sofa. “I’ll clean it up and be back in a jiffy.”
“Not until you explain to me what is going on.” She held his biceps as tightly as she could. So tight that he stumbled forward, landing on top of her.
“Shit,” he mumbled. “Are you okay?”
Feeling the weight of his body on hers brought back vivid memories of their time together. He’d always been a passionate man. Kind. Loving. And damn good in bed.
Hell, he was the best she’d ever had, and no man would ever be able to make her feel the way he did.
“I’ll be fine once you get off me,” she said under her breath, but deep down all she really wanted to do was wrap her arms and legs around his body and have him just one more time.
“Sorry.” He sat up, pulling her up with him.
She brushed her hair out of her face. “Now tell me what the hell is going on.”
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but Harper believes that Wendell is responsible for the rape and murder of three women on the base in the last year.”
“Does Wendel know he’s a suspect?”
“I’ve been given very little information. This is why I think it’s imperative we move David to the school Ace’s kids go to. He’d be in class with Alex, and my buddy Hunter has a daughter there just year younger as well as Jax’s son, who is the same age. There are other kids from the base there as well.”
“Is David in danger?” Arcadia took in a few deep breaths while her mind processed the information.
“I don’t think so, but I don’t trust Wendel.” Gunner had looped his arm over Arcadia’s shoulders. His hand gently massaged her muscles, and she reluctantly relaxed into his body.
“What a clusterfuck,” she mumbled.
“I just want to keep you and our son safe. Will you at least go look at the school? We can arrange for David to visit with Alex.”
She rubbed her aching temples. In less than twenty-four hours, her life had turned upside down. It was hard enough to deal with Gunner being back in her life, but knowing that Wendel, who gave her the creeps anyway, could be responsible for raping and killing, that made her want to move back to Vermont and in with her ex-husband.
“I just uprooted mine and David’s life. I’m not sure transferring schools is what’s best for him.” She glanced at Gunner.
“Well, I think it’s exactly what he needs.” Gunner jumped to his feet. “I’m going to go clean up the mess in the kitchen. Want anything?”
“Yeah. More wine.”
Gunner carried two plastic glasses and a bottle of wine out onto the back patio. When Courtney had killed herself, he remembered his emotions had been all over the place. He’d felt so out of control that the only thing he could do was turn them off. He’d completely shut himself down, making himself void of any ties to his past. They would occasionally creep into his dreams or rear their ugly faces while on the job.
But for the most part, Gunner had kept himself an empty shell of a man.
Until this morning.
Now, everything he’d tried so hard to bury stung his body like a million bees swarming on his skin. They prickled and burned and made him want to scream.
He took in a deep breath through his nose and let it out slowly between his lips. “Can we start over?”
Arcadia glanced o
ver her shoulder. The setting sun glistened over her dark hair, making it shine. “Look at this.”
He set the wine on the table and took her cell. A picture of David and Alex on the docks at the marina holding a couple of pretty decent size fish filled the screen.
“I haven’t ever seen him that happy,” she said. “You made that happen.”
“I had nothing to do with it.” He gritted his teeth. On the one hand, he loved seeing his boy enjoying himself.
But it only served to remind him that he’d lost out on ten years.
And not just with his son.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” she said.
“Neither do I.” He settled in the lounge chair next to her but kept his gaze on the birds taking flight in the sky. “But before we get into our personal situation, I’m begging you to consider having David change schools. Wendel all but threatened me in an email today.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now,” he said, understanding her seething tone and well aware he probably deserved it.
“I don’t like to make decisions without discussing them with David.”
“Does that mean you talked with him before you got married? And before you divorced?” He did his best not to sound condescending or spiteful, but by the way her nose crinkled, he doubted he was successful.
“If he and Doug hadn’t gotten along so well, I wouldn’t have considered getting married.”
Gunner didn’t know what bothered him more. The fact that she married someone other than him, or that his son played family with a stranger.
“How did our son take the divorce? Is he still in contact with his stepfather?” Gunner gagged on the last word.
She shook her head. “He’s reconciling with his ex-wife, and it wouldn’t be fair to his kids. Besides, David has always been so focused on you that Doug often felt left out of the equation, and I wouldn’t allow Doug to squelch David’s natural curiosity about his father.”
“Was David upset about moving to Florida?”
“No. He wasn’t upset at all. Everything to him is an adventure and a new place to go looking for you. However, he does sometimes miss his step-siblings. That part was tough and about the only thing I regret.”
“So you don’t regret marrying Doug?”
“We had some good times together, but he’d never gotten over his wife. David was obsessed with you, and in a really weird way, so was I. I should have just blurted out I was possibly pregnant at the funeral. It might have saved us all a ton of grief.”
Gunner adamantly shook his head. “That would have been a horrible idea. You were right to wait. I only wish I hadn’t dodged you that day you showed up at my brother’s. I was there, you know.”
“I figured,” she said flatly. “Again, I shouldn’t have let your brother hush me when I thought about telling him.”
“And I should have read the letters,” he admitted.
“We can do this all day, but it won’t change the last ten years, or where to go from here.” She set her glass down and leaned forward, resting her hands on his knees. “I meant it when I said I would never stop you from being a father or being in our son’s life on a regular basis.”
He reached out and wiped away the tears that strolled down her angelic face. He’d always hated it when he made her cry.
“At Courtney’s funeral, I felt so guilty for loving you.” He spoke the words that had tormented his heart for years. Words that squeezed the air from his lungs every time he even thought about a long-lasting relationship. “I walked away because when Courtney had been alive, she managed to create a wedge between us, and in death, she just made it bigger.”
Arcadia pursed her lips like she’d always done when she’d been angry or frustrated.
He hushed her with his finger. “We can’t go back and find out if my fears would have been true, but when I saw you on the ledge, it was like someone stabbed me in the heart. I couldn’t breathe, and all I could think about was how much I loved you.” He didn’t bother to wait for a reaction. He tied their mouths up like a suction cup unwilling to let go. Their tongues twisted and turned in a frantic dance to reunite. When he told her he was dead to her, he really meant he was dead to himself.
He thought he had nothing left to give anyway. That Courtney had taken it all with her when she killed herself.
Only it had been him who had destroyed everything.
He pulled her to a standing position, still kissing her mouth as if she were his last meal.
Stumbling, he led her back into the house and pressed her body against the door when he slammed it shut. Desperation controlled his every move, and he so desperately needed Arcadia. He needed to love her again.
To forgive her.
To be forgiven.
To make up for the last ten years.
He dropped his head to her shoulder, breathless.
There was no making up for what he’d done. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, taking a step back.
“If you’re sorry about kissing me, then get out. If not, don’t stop.”
His gaze went between her pleading eyes and her heaving chest. He was torn between beating himself up, a mantra he’d grown comfortable in, and the deep-seated desire to be with the only woman he could ever truly love.
And damn it, he still loved her.
He let out a slight chuckle as he fanned both her cheeks. “Definitely not sorry about that.”
She looped her hands around his waist, slipping them under his shirt. Her warm fingers dug into his muscles.
“I’m just not sure it’s a good idea,” he said.
“Neither am I.” She arched a seductive brow like she used to do when she’d saunter across the bedroom half naked.
“We can’t just pick up where we left off,” he said as he fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. “But we can start something new.”
“We’re just reminiscing. A trip down memory lane. You don’t really want me anymore.”
“Are you kidding me?” He pressed his body against hers, spreading her legs and lifting her feet off the ground. “Tell me that again because my body and my heart say something entirely different.”
“An hour ago, you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with me. Now you want to do it right here in my kitchen?”
“Yesterday you thought I didn’t want my—”
She covered his mouth with her hand. “Let’s not go down that circular road again.”
“Agreed.” Firmly, he held the back of her thighs. “Where’s the bedroom?”
“Down the hall. Second door on the right, but Gunner,” she cupped his face, staring deeply into his eyes, sucking the life energy from his lungs. “I want to state for the record I don’t have any idea what this means, but I know for sure we don’t want David to think we’re back together. It wouldn’t be good for him. Can you understand that?”
Slowly, Gunner made his way down the hall, contemplating her words and their meaning. This wasn’t just sex, but he couldn’t define it other than perhaps healing old wounds and giving them closure.
“However the three of us end up, David has to be the center,” she said.
“I couldn’t agree more. Now, can you stop talking?” He set her on the edge of the bed, pulling her shirt down over her shoulders, revealing her tiny, white lacy bra with a front clasp. He flicked it open with his fingers, exposing her perky, full breasts.
They were bigger than he remembered. He supposed that came from having a baby.
“Did you nurse our son?”
“That’s a really fucking weird question to ask right now.”
He knelt between her legs and cupped her, rubbing his thumbs over her hard nipples. They puckered tighter with each flick. “I might have a few more.”
“Well, wait to ask them until we’re done.”
“You’ve always been so demanding in bed.” He squelched the pinch of jealousy that tickled his pride. He had no right to begrudge
her any man in the last ten years.
But after tonight, he vowed to prove to her that he could, and would, take care of his son.
And his son’s mother.
Forever.
No way would he crash and burn on this mission.
“Would you just shut up and kiss me.”
He took her nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the hard nub while he managed to roll her shoulders over her hips. A wave of dizziness rolled across his body. It was as if a vortex plucked him from his current life and hurled him into a mixture of the past and the future. There was no other woman for him in the world. He knew that ten years ago but thought he could live without her.
No way could he ever walk away again.
Nor would he let her. Not now.
Not ever.
He kissed every inch of her glorious body, not letting a single speck of skin go unnoticed. He didn’t stop until she squeezed her legs tight and called out his name, convulsing into his mouth. He kissed her inner thigh, then worked his way to her luscious lips. He sucked the bottom one into his mouth, nibbling on it and catching her every moan.
All he wanted to do was bury himself deep inside her, rocking with her until they both exploded with thick passion only two people who were meant to be together could share.
He’d been with a few good-looking women who by no means could be called anything but talented when it came to making love.
But no one could ever be Arcadia.
She curled her fingers around him, squeezing and gently stroking him like a fiddle.
Falling onto the bed on his back, he groaned, pooling her hair on top of her head. He watched her take him into her hot mouth. With the grace of a Greek Goddess, she glided her lips over him, making him see double.
“Christ,” he mumbled, stiffening his body, doing his best to maintain control. His breath came in short, throaty pants.
She dared to take a break and glanced up at him with a smile.
“That’s enough,” he commanded. “Come here.” Though he hadn’t thought that through when she climbed up on top of him. He grabbed her hips and held her steady for a long moment, staring into her eyes. “You’re still the most amazing and beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”