I’m sorry I was ignoring you, Babe. I just was feeling sad and hurt by you, so I put up my defenses. I’m an Irish Catholic girl. We know how to stop all feeling and move about the day as if nothing ever happened. I will never, ever, ever do that to you again. Unless you leave me no other option, but I know you wouldn’t do that.
Listen, if I get the iconic role of Anne Frank this week, I will pick you up at the bottom of your street and take you to Camel Lot.
This time you will learn why a back parkin’ lot at Brophy Elementary School is called Camel Lot.
Big kisses, my guy,
Tara
P.S. Sniff this note. That’s not Trésor, Mattttttttttttttttttttt.
Dearest Soup,
I’m so happy we talked last night. Even though our call was wicked brief, it was just so great to hear your voice and to put everything to bed. And I can’t tell you how good it felt to cross you off my Return Call Sheet. Your name was loomin’ over my head for days. Literally . . . ’cuz my call sheet is on my corkboard, which is over my desk so it was over my head. (How mad are we still that they changed Edna’s Edibles to Over Our Heads on Facts of Life?? So stupid of them.)
I woke up this morning anew. It’s like the fog literally lifted from my eyes. I think I truly have Senioritis, and I’m serious that I might even go to my doctor to get a second opinion.
Why did no one warn us of the roller coaster that is our final year at South High? College applications, plays (for me, not you, but you have so many wonderful interests), my last cheering competition in Nashville in February, Prom (who even knows what life is going to be like then and also it will be 1992 by Prom, so that’s just one year further away from our childhood), and so many other things!
Life used to be so simple, Stef, and I guess with all the newness I have lost a bit of my footing. I’ve never been so, well, so like . . . AHHHH . . . have I? You’ve known me forever. (Oh my god, I just had a flashback of us playin’ Bedroom-A-Class in my room. ’Member? We would line up our Cabbage Patches and give them each a pencil and paper, and we would be the teachers. I was Ms. Bugg, you were Ms. Butler. Bedroom-A-Class. Theresa Louise and Michelle Elaine were star pupils!) Oh, my Steffed Animal! I’m sorry if I’ve been not me-ish.
Can we just literally start our Senior year over? Let’s definitely do what you said and set a new date with me, you, and Stacey. I will white-out any obligations in my Month-At-A-Glance for that! Let’s all just move on and grow up! My god. It’s this town, I’m certain of it. Our town just brings up so much stuff for all of us. It’s like if you took us all out of this town and put us in the city we would all love each other and just be chill ’cuz we were walkin’ everywhere and takin’ the train and LIVING! When you’re not LIVING it’s hard to LIVE, you know. Do you know what I mean?
Underneath the extreme chaos of Senior year, my life is in a really good place right now. Only thing that was out of order was my friendship with you. And I take responsibility for that. Qwe officially move on? Oo, I like Qwe (Can we) . . . should we add it to our secret dictionary?
Love you more than life.
LIVES, LOVES, LAUGHS,
Me . . . Tara
T Bag—
What is up, Beautiful? I was getting pizza with Tzoug and Dube and I wished you were there, sitting next to me. Why? ’Cuz you’re my girl, and I love when you sit next to me when I’m eating pizza.
Good luck with Anne Frank (and beans).
C.P.C.
Christopher!!!
Anne Frank (and beans)? How dare you make jokes about a girl hiding in an attic to escape the Nazis. Anne was a girl, much like me, who saw the best in her town but had to hide away from the evil people. Oh, how I long to be Anne Frank.
I’m wearin’ a wig at my audition tomorrow. It’s brown and like shoulder length. I know, a wicked far cry from my long blond tresses but hey, an actress of my caliber transforms for proper roles.
And how are you, Mr. Mister? If my eyes weren’t deceivin’ me I coulda sworn I saw Kathy Connery squeezin’ your ass after homeroom. True or false?
Sluts like Kathy have no boundaries, Chris. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Kath and we have tons of history, but she is a slut and she loves a good hockey ass, which you have. So . . . spill the beans, and don’t say “Anne Frank” just ’cuz I said “beans.”
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Anne Frank Maureen Murphy
T,
You caught us. Yeah, Kathy grabbed my ass. She said she was squeezin’ all the Varsity Hockey bums to make an educated ASS-essment of whose was the best. I won!!!! You know Kathy. She loves to flirt. She’s harmless. I’d never touch her anyway . . . why? ’Cuz I got you.
C.P.C.
Hello my co-star,
Matt! Today has got to be the greatest day of my life! God dammit, I’m ANNE FRIGGIN’ FRANK!
What a shame that Joy Rebecca Bernstein opted out of auditions. I was hopin’ for some competition, but maybe she just got worried that I had the part locked. Joy would be a good Anne Frank if this were a junior high production, but it’s the big leagues. And to think, you are playin’ the sweet role of Peter. Anne’s love interest. So many things can happen in a stuffy attic, Matt. So many private things. Q believe we have two whole months together? I am simply overcome with happiness.
And because I got the lead role, as promised I’m gonna pick you up at the bottom of your street and take you to Camel Lot. Oh, Matt, our future is bright.
Always,
Your Anne Frank
P.S. Not that I care, but why did Joy not audition? Seems very unlike her.
Tara,
Congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you. And for us. We are gonna have the best time doing this play together.
You didn’t hear about Joy? Oh. I thought everyone knew. She couldn’t audition for The Diary of Anne Frank because she got the role of Eponine in a regional production of Les Misérables. She starts rehearsals today, actually. I guess some Les Miz scouts came to our production of Grease and were blown away by Joy as Sandy, so they offered her Eponine. Offered!!!!! She didn’t even have to audition. There’s talk of her moving to the Broadway production after her run ends. Crazy . . .
I will meet you at the bottom of my street tonight. What time?
Your Matt
Oh, hey Matt,
Yeah, tonight’s not gonna be good anymore to go to Camel Lot. I forgot I have to hang out with Christopher. He is my boyfriend, so I guess he is priority.
Joy is playing Eponine in Les Misérables? You do know that that is my number-one dream role of all time, right? Was this a master plan, Matt? Did you encourage this? I literally can’t even believe this, Matt. I am heartbroken right now. You heard me sing “On My Own” at Grease auditions. You know how good I am at it. I HATE THIS TOWN!!!!!
How is this girl living out my entire life? How is this happening? I feel light-headed.
It’s okay. It’s totally okay. I’m Anne Frank, and that’s all that matters.
Cheers,
Tara
YAY!
I am beyond thrilled for you, Tara!! Anne Frank! What an achievement. You are going to get into any college you want now! What school would pass up such a multitalented girl? And all your extracurriculars! You basically started the Thanksgiving Turkey Drive. Do you know how many needy families have had a happy Thanksgiving because of you? I can’t wait to do the drive with you again. Oh my god, it’s so soon.
Yes, yes, yes, we are totally moved on! I love QWE, by the way. Believe me, I know how insane this year is. We are all overwhelmed. You know I love my parents more than anything, but they are pushing me so hard to get into Northwestern because they both went there. It’s a wonderful school, but what if I don’t get in? Are they going to disown me?
We are on with Stacey for next Saturday! Excited for you two to finally get to know each other, and you know what? Our world is expandi
ng, Tara. That’s pretty cool . . . a lovely precursor to what college will be like, right?
Love you, BB Minkey, and SO BEYOND HAPPY FOR YOU!
xoxoxxoxo,
Soup
Soup!
How incredible was our hangout with Stacey?! I will happily answer that: BEYOND INCREDIBLE!! The three of us make so much sense together! All of us are smart and kind, wicked well-dressed, and pretty. It’s just sooo rare that three girls who check off all those boxes find each other, ya know? Stacey is just so great. That was so funny when she told us how her hair got mangled in her cotillion dress zipper! I didn’t even know that. Did you?? And how her mom had to use olive oil to get it out, which ruined her dress but she didn’t care because she just threw on somethin’ else and her jean jacket and was like, “This’ll be fine.” Hey, if anyone knows the painful struggles of havin’ wicked long hair, it’s this girl. Us longer-haired girls go through a lot, but it’s definitely worth it. If you ever grow yours out, you will sooo get it, Steffed Animal.
It was just an all-around solid night, Stef. Loved talkin’ about colleges with her, and I really do get why she wants to go to school in Vermont . . . I’ve always seen her earthy-crunchy side. I’m sure she’s like, “Once I get outta this judgmental town I can finally wear my Birkenstocks!” No one gets us here, but that’s okay . . . University is just around the bend. Don’t you think it was cute how Stacey was like, “Tara, when you get into NYU, and Stef, when you get into Northwestern, and when I get in to my school in Vermont . . . let’s all go to dinner to celebrate!!” So adorable. I wonder where we’ll go to dinner? In the city, definitely, don’t you think?
Anyway . . . what an awesome night.
Love you SO MUCH,
Tara
P.S. Which college is she hopin’ to go to in Vermont? You don’t know, do you? Not that it matters.
Tar,
Wasn’t that a fabulous night? I am so happy it FINALLY happened, and I just knew that if you got to spend quality time with Stacey you would see how lovely she is. I had a feeling you would get that she isn’t at all what you thought she was. I am so happy you guys know each other now. SO HAPPY!! Yay!
Oh and I have no idea where in Vermont Stacey is planning on going to college. She is so private about that, which I totally respect.
Lives, Loves, Laughs . . .
Stef
Tara—
You okay? I’m really sorry that they canceled The Diary of Anne Frank. You would have been awesome in it. You can always perform it for me in my bedroom. My mom’s goin’ out of town, so we can pretend my house is the attic and I’m a bad guy tryin’ to find you but when I see how beautiful you are I have second thoughts. Then we hook up. Love you. You’re awesome. Hey, you always have your cheerleading competition to focus on. You will definitely win Nationals this year.
Love ya,
C.P.C.
To-est my sweet Tara—
Oh my god, I just heard! Are you okay? I do not know what to say except I love you and I am always here for you.
Love,
Stef
Dear Tara,
Hey. I’m not really sure what to say. I can’t believe they canceled the Winter Play. I heard it’s because musicals draw a much bigger audience, so the ticket sales are higher, which earns more money for the theater department. But it’s great news that there will still be a Spring Musical. I wonder what it will be?
I know you are really upset right now, Tara. I was really excited to play opposite you in The Diary of Anne Frank. I have no doubt that you would have been incredible as Anne. But I bet you will get a lead role in the Spring Musical. I know you want one more lead role before you graduate. That means a lot to you. I know it does. Man, I am bummed for me, but I am more bummed for you about this. Are you okay?
Thinkin’ about you,
Matt
Hey Matt,
I appreciate you checkin’ in on me. I can’t really put into words how I feel right now.
Maybe I just don’t deserve good things? Maybe I was cursed or something. Do you know what I mean?
I feel so connected to Anne Frank. Now more than ever. Both of us awesome girls, being punished just for bein’ who we are. I know that one day I will play Anne Frank and chances are it will be on Broadway.
I am writing this note to you, Matt, as I watch the first snowflakes fall to the ground. Here I thought I would be spending the first snowfall of the season in the arms of someone who loves me, but I gotta admit, I think it’s best if I just spend it alone, in my bedroom.
I think that I’m gonna take the rest of November for myself. I’ve been giving so much of myself to others lately it feels like I forgot about me. I will continue to be Christopher’s girlfriend, but I am gonna limit the time I spend with him. And as for you and me, well, Matt, I think it’s best for us to chill out. I can’t be your girl on the side. Joy is your priority, and I’m your afterthought. I can no longer come in second place. No sir.
I care deeply for you, Matt. But let’s be honest. You’re gonna lose your virginity to Joy. As these snowflakes fall from the clouds up above, I can’t help but think about LOVE. What would it be like to be truly loved by a Freshman boy? To feel the big lips of a handsome young star pressed against mine? I imagine a world where this young star tells me he loves me and then asks me to take his virginity from him, thus tying us together 4-eva. Gosh, if that could happen I probably wouldn’t feel sad about not playin’ Anne Frank. But who might this handsome star Freshman be? Does he exist or only in my mind’s eye? Could he love me the way I long to be loved?
Oh, Matt. There’s gotta be an inch of snow on the ground now. Enough to make a snowman. I might have to go gather my mittens and parka and head on out into the great white open. I bet if you were here with me we would throw snowballs at each other and laugh, then sit by a roarin’ fire and talk about what’s to come. And maybe, just maybe, we would, well . . .
Be well, Cuteheart. And know that I will be fine. I’m just a girl on a snowy night in a town where some dreams get crushed . . . and some dreams come true . . .
My heart belongs to??????????????????
Tara M. Murphy
P.S. I am gonna fold this note really tight and put it in your earth science lab table tomorrow. Durrrr, you already know that if you’re reading this.
Hey Tricia,
Oh my god, you have to pinky swear that you will not tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, oh my god, you are gonna freak out. Okay, so you know how I share a lab table with Matt Bloom? Well, I, like, reached into my desk to grab my textbook and there was a super tight folded note, so I, like, opened it, of course, because it was in my side of the desk, and oh my god, it wasn’t for me—it was for Bloom!!
The note was from Tara Murphy. You know the Senior girl who goes out with the hockey player, Chris Caparelli? She is in a lot of the plays and is a cheerleader! You know her. She’s kind of popular and always wears short skirts. The girl with long blond hair. Okay, I know you know who she is. Anyway, she wrote Bloom this note and, um, PROMISE YOU WON’T SAY A WORD TO ANYONE because I like Bloom and he’s such a good actor, but holy shit!!! Bloom and Tara are basically having an affair. But in the note Tara sort of told him that she is done with him because he is going out with Joy Bernstein and she doesn’t want to be the woman on the side. Wowza!!!
I never pegged Bloom for someone who would cheat on his girlfriend. And from the sound of the note it seems like Bloom is the one trying to get Tara to hook up.
Maybe I can get more information. Oh my god, oh my god!!! This is like Tiger Beat. I love South High!
Are you stopping by Fanny Farmer Candy Shop this weekend? We have a special on pounds of gummy worms.
Pammy
P.S. PINKY SWEAR you won’t tell anyone.
Pammy,
Holy ballsack! I know you love Matt Bloom, but he’s not all he thinks he’s cracke
d up to be. Yeah, he looks like Keanu Reeves from the “Rush, Rush” video, but who gives a crap . . . Kid is so full of himself, he walks around like he owns this school and thinks he’s above everyone and come on . . . he’s a friggin’ theater geek. Whatever, I know you love theater geeks.
Tara Murphy is kind of a slut though, right? She went out with Timmy Garabino, and my sister Jenny was so pissed off about that she and Megan Dooley t.p.’d her mailbox. Rightfully so . . . everyone knew my sister and Timmy had hooked up back in middle school. And she used Kev Brandolini so she could hang out in his mansion and ride his horses. Well, that’s what Jenny and Megan told me, and they should know.
I won’t tell anyone, Shapiro. Calm down.
Love ya and yeah, I’ll swing by Fanny Farmer Candy Shop while I’m at the mall this weekend. I’ve got a mint condition turtleneck on layaway at Marshalls, so I’ll pick that up then come by.
Later, Khed,
Tricia
Deena,
Hey, girl. Okay, you know my tall friend Pam Shapiro who I went to Callahan Middle with? She told me some crazy shit. But you can’t say anything.
Okay, do you know who Matt Bloom is? He went to Callahan Middle, too, so you might not know who he is. Anyway . . . he’s in our grade and he’s kinda hot . . . he looks kinda like Keanu Reeves, but he’s not Keanu but he thinks he is? Wicked conceited kid. Well, apparently he is sleeping with Tara Murphy. Chris Caparelli doesn’t know about it yet, and I guess Bloom is the one who instigated the whole affair. And to make shit more outta control, Bloom’s girlfriend, Joy, that Sophomore with the awesome curly hair, is in the city all the time ’cuz she is in some weird musical Lay Mizarob or something, so she doesn’t even know anything that’s happening here!
Folded Notes from High School Page 6