Is it okay with you that I’ve become buddies with Matt Bloom? Or did you want me to be nice to him and hate him? I’m confused, Christopher.
I will take your note into consideration. I still love you very much, but this whole event has really made me take pause.
So, I ask for your patience as I take stock of my life. Can you give me that, Mr. Accusation?
Look, do I miss bein’ naked with you? Yeah. Do I miss dancin’ around your room in your hockey jersey? Yep. Why do I miss those things? Hmmmmmmmmm . . . BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
But my heart is real, Christopher. It’s a beating, pulsing thing, and you broke a piece of it. So it needs to mend. And unlike my Cabbage Patch Kid, Theresa Louise (who broke her braid six years ago and I took her to the Cabbage Patch Kid Hospital), there is no hospital for a broken teenage heart.
Respectfully yours,
T
Tara,
Time is all I got, baby girl. I will wait for you as long as you need. How long do you think? No pressure. But how long??
I’m horny.
Love ya,
C.P.C.
Hey Kath,
We’re all set. Tara is definitely not coming over during Thanksgiving break, so we are on like Donkey Kong.
You can live out all your Varsity Hockey–player fantasies . . . wear my jersey, put on my skates, etc., etc., etc. . . .
Can’t wait to see you.
Signed, Best Hockey Butt in New England . . .
Chris Caparelli
DECEMBER 1991
Dear Kathy—
Hey, girl! How are you, and what are you up to these days? How was your Thanksgivin’? Do anything special??
I just wanted to write to say that your skin looks amazin’! Whatever product you’re usin’ should win an award because, oh my god, you look like a different person! I would ask you what the product is but I’ve never had skin issues. I know, insane, right? Like, not even one zit. I probably just jinxed myself!! But seriously I always wanted braces, but unfortunately the orthodontist refused me every time I went in ’cuz he was like, “Tara, you have perfect teeth.” So I did the paper-clip, tin-foil thing and pretended I had braces. Same thing with my skin. No one knows this (but you and I go way back), but I bought Oxy Pads with benzoyl peroxide at Medi Mart just to use them even though I had literally nothing on my face to clear up. I know . . . I’m so quirky. But your face, Kathy . . . flawless now! (Don’t walk into a modeling agency unless you are prepared to sign the contracts, ya know?!)
Oh my god . . . I heard you’re not even applyin’ to colleges ’cuz you’re just gonna stay workin’ at Coconuts. I bet you’ll be manager there in no time ’cuz you’re sooo good at retail. So jealous of people like you. Would I trade bein’ incredibly talented for bein’ amazin’ at retail? I’d honestly have to think about that one, Kath.
Do you get wicked good discounts on CDs? I bet it’s awesome to work at a music store. I mean, for me it would be, as I am a huge fan of music. But I’m sure you know that as everyone knows that about me. Yep, that’s always me blastin’ songs in my Wagoneer (tee-hee, tee-hee). I am obsessed with “Rush, Rush” right now. And that video with Keanu Reeves!!! Come on! If I met a guy who looked like Keanu Reeves I would dump Christopher in one second. Not that a Keanu Reeves–lookin’ guy would ever be anywhere close to our town, but just sayin’. But you know how much I love Christopher (MORE THAN LIFE), so I guess it’s a win-win for everyone that there are no Keanus around this tri-state area.
Anyway, Old Glowing-Skinned Friend, when I’m at University and you’re manager at Coconuts (or OWNER—who knows, right?) we will always be able to look back at that time in life when we were kids and teenagers together, growin’ up, makin’ mistakes, learnin’, fumblin’, tumblin’, livin’!
Can you believe 1991 is crawlin’ to a close? You know what, Kathy? Maybe we should hang out? I would LOVE to hang out with you! Am I super busy? YES! Am I gonna start trainin’ for Nashville? You betcha! Is Stef still, all these years later, my number one priority? Better believe it! Did I recently become friends with Stacey Simon? Crazier things have never happened, but that answer would be YES! And am I one half of a very solid Supercouple? Yep. Yar, I am, Kath! Even foolish middle-school-level rumors can’t break the iconic bond me and Christopher Caparelli have!
Let’s do it. Let’s hang out me and you! We are gettin’ a stretch from Kurt Cutter’s dad’s limo company for Prom, so I bet we would have room in there for you and who? WE NEED TO GET YOU A BOYFRIEND, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, NOW! By Prom time Stef will (fingers crossed) be fully goin’ out with someone amazing (can’t say who because it’s between us best friends and Stacey Simon), and you deserve someone awesome, too. I know you’ve always loved bein’ single and just hookin’ up, but college (and not college) is around the corner, Kath. Good time to change things up, right?
Consider this note a super kind gesture, and I mean it when I say let’s get you a boyfriend. K, girl?
W/B/S
Tara Murphy (likely Caparelli in the future)
Pam—
While I appreciate all the bags of gummy worms and sour cherries you continue to leave on my desks in every classroom, near my bag, and taped to my locker, I am going to be really honest with you. Please stop. I don’t want your candy. And please take your safe back. I keep giving it to you and you keep putting it in my backpack when I’m not looking. Stop that. I don’t want your candy, Pam, and I don’t want your safe! In fact, I don’t want anything from you. So you’re not surprised, I have asked for my lab table to be changed. Tomorrow, we will no longer share a desk. And if I have it my way, Pam, we will never again share a desk at South High.
I understand that you found a note on your side of our lab table. I don’t really understand you opening that note and reading it because it said “TO MATT” on it. I thought, when you gave it to me, that you were exactly the Pammy Shapiro I’ve always been friends with. The Pammy Shapiro I’ve always seen the best in. The Pammy Shapiro I loved and the Pammy Shapiro I truly believed could one day marry Joey McIntyre. But now . . . now I don’t think Joey Mac would like you because I bet a guy like him doesn’t like betrayers like you, Pam!
When you got stuck in the Lemon Squeeze at Macomber Day Camp, who told everyone to stop laughing and pointing? Me! Who ran and got a counselor to help you? Me! Who helped that counselor get you out of the Lemon Squeeze? I did, Pam. I can’t believe that camp lets kids walk through a crack in a boulder but they did, and you got stuck and I got you out.
And then there was the time we were playing four square and that asshole Andy Mackamolen threw the ball so hard in your face you got the wind knocked out of you and fell and broke your wrist. I was so mad I pushed Andy, and he punched me in the stomach. I got the wind knocked out of me, too. For you! And who was the first person to sign your cast? Me! And remember what I wrote, Pam? I do. “You’re awesome. Never forget that.”
I can’t believe you told people about the note! You have no idea about any of it, and here you go reading a note that friggin’ said “TO MATT” on the front, and then you tell people? You know how fucked up that is? You could have really messed up my life, Pam.
I never understood why people talk about other people. It’s just not how my mom and dad raised us. And after being with my brother over Thanksgiving break, I learned a lot about a lot. Not that I would share any of it with you because I don’t trust you anymore, Pam.
Next time you are thinking of raking someone over the coals, maybe think about that person first. That person has feelings just like you, Pam. If you were so curious about me and my life, why didn’t you just ask me, huh? This isn’t Tiger Beat, Pam.
I’m glad the gossip stopped. My brother and I even played street hockey with Chris and his friends, but I probably shouldn’t even be telling you that because I don’t know how you will spin it and pass that around. Anyway, what’s done is done. I hope
you have a good life.
Matt Bloom
Um, hi Matt,
I waited down your street ’til exactly 8:30 P.M. Thanksgiving night. You never showed. And the heat in my Wagoneer broke so I was freezing, but good thing I keep my trunk stocked with a blanket (you know which one as we stargazed on it at Camel Lot), my parka, a scarf, and my old pair of Freaky Freezies. Gloves that change colors in the snow much like people who change WHEN it snows. TGID (Thank God It’s December), one month closer to getting the hell outta this tricky town. We live in Opposite World here. Up is down, left is right, and certain Freshmen behave like they’re not Freshmen.
Matt, I waited down your street and YOU NEVER SHOWED UP! I then left you message after message on your answering machine. 877-4267. I dialed that number so much I fear I’ll never forget it. And trust me, I want to forget it. Why wouldn’t I, Matt? You left me in a Thanksgiving Break Lurch!
What’s the scoop here, pal? I apologized to you. I made a note-passing mistake. This just in: I AM A HUMAN BEING. I am not this perfect girl everyone thinks I am. I’m just not, ya know? Do you know what I mean?
How was my Thanksgiving? Well, thank you so very, veeery much for askin’. How sweet of you. The sign of a real friend. Is that what we are, Matt? Friends? More than friends? Two people who share something deep? Or just two random people who happened upon each other’s lives when one of us was rolling out the plan for her final year in this town, which did not in any way, shape, or form include you!
My Thanksgiving. Well . . . I would love to sit here and say it was incredible and that my aunts and uncles and millions of cousins came in and we all cuddled on the couch and laughed about all our memories, but alas, that is just not my story, Matt.
Yeah, my aunts and uncles came and a handful of cousins, but everyone only comes because they feel like they have to and no one even likes each other. Especially my parents.
Ever since my gramma died the family has completely fallen apart, and all the “True Colors” (one of our songs, Matt, unless it’s not. Is it?) have revealed themselves. It’s like, don’t come for Thanksgiving just because you are honoring a dead woman. “But Gramma Maureen woulda wanted this.” On what planet would my gorgeous gramma have wanted her awful family to force turkey down their necks when they’d all be happier at their own houses? Life is so weird, and I feel like a pawn in it sometimes. Like life is just one big chess game, Matt. So . . . if it is a chess game . . . what’s your next move?
This is way not my style, but hey . . . I am offering you the ball, Young Man. Ball is in your court.
Write back as swiftly as you can, because depending on what you write it might just alter the course of the last weeks of 1991.
Fondly and Quite Curiously,
Tara Maureen Murphy
Dear Tara,
I hope “True Colors” is always one of our songs, no matter what happens.
I didn’t know what to expect when I started here at South High. I don’t think I expected anything, really. I had an awesome summer at my overnight camp, and a bunch of my bunkmates were gonna be starting high school too, and we just kind of didn’t really talk much about it probably because we were just having a great time at camp. So other than getting a new backpack and some new jeans, I just showed up here.
I guess I had an idea of what it was going to be like because my brother, David, went here, and so I knew about it through him.
Sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving wasn’t good. That does suck. Mine was really good. Sorry. Is that okay to tell you? Just being honest.
My brother was home and that was awesome. We hung out a lot and we talked a lot. He told me about everything that’s going on at Syracuse, and I told him about everything that’s going on here. It was pretty eye-opening. He’s a Freshman in college and I’m one in high school (well, you know that, duh), and so we actually have a ton in common right now. He said college is great because you finally get to be on your own and be who you are. I’m definitely not on my own because I live at home, but I do feel like I am who I am. David said he agrees and he thinks I’ve always been who I am because I always had focus. And he’s right, even though I never thought about it that way. I’ve always known I want to be an actor, and I’ve always pursued that and worked hard at it even if people made fun of me for it. I just don’t really care about what other people think.
I did care about what happened with your note. That made me wicked mad because it’s none of anyone’s business. Or, it shouldn’t have been anyone else’s business.
Most of my Thanksgiving break time was spent with my family, my brother, and Joy. I explained the whole thing to her, and she’s not mad. She said that the guy who is playing Marius Pontmercy in Les Misérables kissed her and she said it was no big deal. I didn’t get mad at her. We talked about it. We’re both wicked young and we’re actors, so it’s important to try things out. In a weird way I’m happy Pam Shapiro did what she did because at the end of the day (a Les Miz song) it brought me and Joy closer together. She finishes her run as Eponine in Les Misérables in February, and I think auditions for the Spring Musical are at the beginning of March, so that’s perfect timing for her.
I’m sorry I didn’t meet you at the bottom of my street to go with you to Camel Lot. I do want to know why you call it that and it would be cool to go there with you again sometime. When? I don’t know, Tara.
My brother told me to keep my eye on the prize and to stay focused on excelling. He said he wished he had an older brother who could have guided him. If he did, he would have wanted his older brother to tell him not to get involved in any high school bullshit, just pay attention to his own life, his own relationships, and getting great grades. He likes Syracuse, but he thinks if he had been guided more he might have gotten into some other schools.
I got all your messages, and they made me smile. I like being your friend, and I think our relationship as younger brother and older sister is good for us. You have so many years on me and all the wisdom that comes with that. I thought it was so cool in the fall when you shared your opinions about people with me and looked out for me. You were so right, by the way: Heather Gould does kind of suck, and I don’t talk to her that much anymore.
You left the ball in my court, so I’m gonna ask you if we can go back to where we were before when it was Tara and Chris, Matt and Joy, and me and you . . . friends.
All my best,
Matt
Oh, P.S. My brother and I played street hockey with Chris and his friends Tzoug and Dube, and it was fun and everything seems normal, and my brother kind of let them know that he’s always got my back so no one should really mess with me.
Hey Tara!
What a seriously huge surprise to get a note from you! Like, HUGE SURPRISE! So random, too! Anyway . . . my skin says thanks, ha ha ha.
My Thanksgivin’ was average. Nothin’ interesting. Thanksgivin’ blows anyway ’cuz my dumb family eats turkey all the time, so what’s the difference?
Yuh, it’s wicked true I’m not goin’ to college. Why pay to learn how to get a job when I already have one! I get great discounts at Coconuts and can hook you up like you hooked me up when you worked at TCBY. How good is that white chocolate moose yogurt?!
“Rush, Rush” is such a awesome song, and don’t you think that Freshman kid Matt Bloom looks like Keanu kind of? You know the Freshman I’m talkin’ about, right? David Bloom who graduated last year’s brother. Not that I believed that whole rumor about you guys ’cuz I don’t believe nothin’ I don’t see with my own two eyes, but I know you did Grease together ’cuz I saw it. You were wicked good in it, and the girl who played Sandy was unreal. She should be famous. You actors. I wish I could have the guts to act but I don’t, and I sing like a farting frog gettin’ eaten by another farting frog.
You know me, I’m not into havin’ a boyfriend. Hate bein’ tied down. But if you know of anyone who’s cool maybe I’l
l think about it. And I gotta be real, I’m not really a Prom girl. Don’t get me wrong—I’ll go to the after parties, duh, but I don’t know about the actual Prom.
Yeah, I don’t think I can hang out ’cuz I work so friggin’ much. But thanks a ton for the offer. Maybe I’ll see ya’ at an after-Prom party or something.
See Ya Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya,
Kath
To-est Soup!
You know I have the best instincts ever. Yep, me and my perception-compass. I know you think I’m wrong, but Stef, I am almost positive Kathy and Christopher are hooking up! Oh my god, I am freaking out! I saw her car in his driveway on three different days over Turkey Day break! Unless someone else drives a Pinto with a license plate that says: LV R TOWN #1, I can guarantee you Kathy is having an affair with MY BOYFRIEND. Do the math, Stef! I saw her grab his ass, and he played it off like she was just being the slut that she is, but I know better. The thought of Christopher touching her makes me literally wanna puke. She said she wishes she could sing, but her voice sounds like “a farting frog eating another farting frog.” What girl with any ounce of dignity says “fart”? Or “frog,” for that matter? And she had the audacity to say Joy Rebecca Bernstein should be famous! Do you feel as violated as me that once upon a time we were actually friends with such horrific people? As we’ve grown and evolved these people have just stayed frozen in time. Unreal.
What do I do?
Need You Now More Than Ever,
T-Murphs!
P.S. Not that I care AT ALL, but do you think that annoying Matt Bloom kid looks anything like Keanu Reeves from the “Rush, Rush” video?
To-est Tar,
While Kathy can be gross, and yes, the whole farting-frog thing is appalling, I need you to stay calm!
Folded Notes from High School Page 8