As he unbolted the door, his mouth opened in surprise. Kate was standing unannounced on his doorstep. And by the tortured expression on her face, she wasn’t there for a social call. His heart instantly began to pound erratically in his chest. “What’s wrong?”
In lieu of answering, she took determined steps into the house. As he closed the door behind her, she entered the living room and began to pace. Although he wanted to convince himself she wasn’t there to confront him about Nikki, who was he kidding? Of course, Kate was bound to find out the truth eventually.
“I know things have been weird between us lately, but I thought we were getting through it. I thought we were still friends,” she murmured, more to herself than to him. Declan was thrown by her demeanor. He expected more rage than hurt. She had obviously come over to his place in a hurry. Her hair was unkempt and her clothes wrinkled. The discoloration from the self-tanner had yet to completely fade from her face.
“Of course we’re friends,” he countered. He rubbed at his eyes before running his palms against the side of his face. “I’m assuming you had a vision, but before you jump to the wrong conclusions, let me explain—”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me, Dec?” she said breathless. “Sure, I’ve been preoccupied with wedding stuff, but you’re my best friend. And this monumental thing happens and you don’t say a word.”
Monumental? What the hell was she going on about? Had she misread the visions wrong? Did she believe Nikki meant more to him than a fling?
Before he could voice his concerns, she continued on. “I’m so happy for you. I can’t imagine how hard it was to pick up the phone and call her, but you did it. And I can tell how much Radha missed you, Dec. I was so touched by the whole thing. But when I realized the vision was from weeks ago, I just didn’t understand why you kept such an amazing thing from me.”
“Oh,” he said defeated. “You’re talking about Radha and Lulu.” He could spin the entire conversation in his favor. Kate might never find out about Nikki. So, why disturb the peace? But he couldn’t have the secret hanging over his head any longer.
“Your niece is seriously the cutest kid I’ve ever seen. My cousins have babies and they look like a cross between Tommy Pickles from Rugrats and Stewie from Family Guy.” She laughed to herself. Sobering, she said, “I promise not to be a crap friend any more. I’ve been all about myself and totally missed this amazing thing going on in your life.”
“I’d hold off on that promise,” he said sadly. Looking down at the floor, he said, “I have to tell you something.”
“What?” When he didn’t answer, but kept looking at the floor, she remarked, “You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”
“I did something you’re not going to like….” He trailed off, mentally scrambling to find the words to explain away his actions. He told himself it wasn’t too late to back down. When the door slammed shut earlier, Declan’s chapter with Nikki was done. He didn’t expect to hear from her and even if she did call him, he wasn’t getting entangled again.
“You’re torturing me, Dec. Just spit it out.” Kate took a step closer. Hunching over, she forced him to make eye contact.
He curled his hands into fists and dug his fingernails into his palms. “I had sex with Nikki.”
Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. “Nikki who?” She seemed genuinely baffled as if there was no possible way he could be talking about Jared’s ex.
“Nikki Preston.”
Kate winced. “Funny, Dec. If you’re trying to deflect from having an emotional heart-to-heart about Radha, it’s not working.”
He squeezed the bridge of his nose before talking. “I went to a bar a few weeks ago and I ran into her there.”
She pointed an accusing finger at him. “You’re already lying. Why would you go to a bar? You don’t drink.”
“I was trying to forget about you and Jared getting married, so I went to find someone to take home for the night. Since you had made it clear Jenna was off limits, Nikki offered to help me out.” Confessing aloud brought on a fresh wave of humiliation. As much as he tried to be a better person lately, Declan was still acting like a stunted teenager.
“You’re serious?” Kate’s voice vibrated with fury. “I tell you not to fuck Jenna and you fuck Nikki in her place?”
“I was upset. I needed a way to stop thinking about you and Jared,” he said lamely. His head started to ache behind his eyes.
“Grow the hell up,” she raged, before unexpectedly shoving him hard against his chest. Her eyes filled as she glared at him with open hostility.
“You don’t own me. You don’t want me, that’s your choice. But you don’t get the option to dictate who I have sex with either.” The words flew out of his mouth, far from his control. All the building-up resentment was exploding between them.
“You think I actually give a shit about who you fuck, Dec? Let me clear up that notion right now. I told you not to sleep with Jenna because she’s our client. And I thought the fact Nikki has always gone out of her way to make my life miserable would make it pretty damn obvious why you shouldn’t bang her.”
His defenses went up as she screamed at him. “I’m not saying Nikki is such a great person, but you did steal Jared away from her—”
“Oh hell no,” she said cutting him off. “Now you’re defending her? Let me give you a little history lesson. Nikki and Jared’s breakup was mutual. At the time, she said she was just as miserable in the relationship as he was. It was only after he started dating me that she suddenly decided to want him back.”
“I thought—”
“You thought her bullshit was true? If she had a problem with how things went down with Jared, she should’ve taken it up with Jared. But instead, she spread lies to the press about me and our abilities.” She shook her head in disgust. She stared at him as if she was seeing him for the first time and the sight disgusted her. “This couldn’t have worked out any better for her. You practically offered yourself up on a platter.”
Declan grabbed her by the shoulders. “This shouldn’t matter to you. If we’re only friends and you feel absolutely nothing for me, you shouldn’t be this angry.”
She glared at him heatedly, but didn’t respond. Crickets, motherfucking crickets, he thought. He challenged her to face the truth and Kate was still pretending she could force him into the role as her platonic sidekick. As if his feelings were so easy to shut on and off.
Her shoulders wilted. “Damn it, Dec, what do you want from me? Do you want another apology? Should I again apologize for the hundredth time that your premonition of us is never going to happen?” She pushed his arms off of her. Her tone was low, full of vitriol. “Do you want to know the truth? Even if Jared weren’t in the picture, I’d never want that future for me. You may’ve been happy in your vision, but I can guarantee I wasn’t. I would never be in love with a fucking sociopath.” She pushed him hard once again. Shell-shocked, he didn’t react as she elbowed him out of her path and stormed to the front door. For the second time in a few short hours, his door slammed hard enough to shake the foundation. But instead of the relief he had with Nikki leaving, he felt empty and alone with Kate’s departure.
Chapter Fourteen
“I feel like I should be putting a cool compress on your head and plying you with ginger ale. Not sitting over here helpless,” Radha offered.
Declan was sprawled out on his sister’s disgusting coach, seeking refuge from his misery. For the first time, Declan thanked his lucky stars that his sister was back in his life. He wasn’t sure who else he could turn to now. Jenna had been friendly the few times they crossed paths, but nothing was more of a turnoff then a loser whining about the one who got away. Besides, Jenna wasn’t likely to reciprocate his growing feelings. He had his stalker-like psychic ability to blame for how close he felt to her. Jenna was likely to only see him as a means to an end.
“I’ll be fine,” he murmured with as much dignity as he could muster.
“So, let me get this straight. You had a vision of the future? And you and Kate were married in the vision?”
Declan shook his head, although from her vantage point, she didn’t likely see the motion. Radha had been nursing a glass of chardonnay at her kitchen table while he laid out his woes. Lulu had fallen asleep shortly after he arrived. Radha had complimented him on his ability to wear out her daughter in less than ten minutes.
“I don’t believe we were married, but we were definitely a couple. There were two visions, one of the two of us kissing in bed—which actually happened. And then I had a vision of us together at my house. We were laughing, kissing, she was wearing one of my old t-shirts. The second vision felt completely different than the first. Like I could sense how much in love we were.” He scratched at his fingers as he briefly summarized the root of his Kate obsession. Why was he destined to always develop feelings inside of his psychic flashes?
“And you had these visions before even meeting Kate?” his sister prodded. He could hear her take a long sip of her wine as she waited for his reply.
“Yup,” he said bitterly. “I came across a few articles about a case Kate had worked on. After seeing her picture, I had visions of her all the time. Before I tracked her down in person, I knew everything about her. I had visions of her with her mom, her friends, and her boyfriend. When I saw us together in my visions, I assumed some mysterious force was guiding me to my future.”
“Hmm….” Radha cleared her throat.
“Jeez, I hate that you still do that.”
“Do what?”
“Make these little sounds under your breath when you’re trying to work up the nerve to say something I’m probably not going to want to hear.” Finally, moving into a sitting position, he looked across the room at her expectantly.
She shrugged sheepishly. If he weren’t drowning in his own abject misery, he’d smile. His stupid pride had kept him from reaching out to his sister. He had forgotten how they were once best friends.
“In my opinion, you’re not really heartbroken over Kate,” she started.
“What?” he demanded. His knee-jerk response was to tell Radha how completely wrong she was about his feelings. Radha hadn’t borne witness to the way he hung his hope on his future with Kate since he met her.
Radha nodded to herself, warming up to the idea. “You’re mourning a false version of Kate, not the real thing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Declan, you’re telling me you had these strange visions of being in love with this amazing girl—a beautiful girl who you can laugh with and be yourself around. Bonus points, she also shares the same abilities as you. You can confide in her and she’ll understand completely about the highs and lows of being a psychic.” He wanted to interrupt, but he remained silent, curious about where Radha was going with her summation of his relationship with Kate. “You fell in love with a lie. You had feelings before getting to know the real Kate. You were so busy hanging your hope on the idea of this one person being your true path to happiness, you probably didn’t take the time to actually fall in love.”
“I love her,” he said closing his eyes, wanting to tune out his sister’s words.
“Maybe you could’ve loved her, but I think the visions tainted the romance. You went to her full of so many unrealistic expectations while she didn’t have a clue about who you were.” After draining her wine glass, she took the spot next to him on the couch. She bumped her shoulder to his. “I personally think she’s crazy not to be madly in love with you. But I think if you look down deep inside of you, maybe you’d realize you’re not madly in love with her either.”
“Then, why do I feel like a complete shit now?”
“Because you love and respect her as a friend. She’s hurting and you feel responsible for her pain. You’ve always had a bigger heart than you let people see.”
“I do not,” he automatically snapped back.
“Remember the time I broke mom’s crystal bowl? It was a gift from her wedding to Dad?” she asked rhetorically before hurrying on, “You took the blame for it. No questions asked. That was your way.” She wiped at her eyes over the memory as Declan’s back stiffened. Her admissions were scratching at a door he never wanted to open. “I should have never let you get punished, Dec. I was the older sister—”
He shot up out of the couch and shook off her apology. “Don’t make me out to be some kind of saint.”
“I know you’re not. But you’re less of an asshole than you let people think,” she said. “Promise me you won’t let this thing with Kate turn you off to love. Because I’m positive if you had the opportunity to trade places with Kate’s fiancé and marry her, you wouldn’t.”
Declan felt his body go itchy all over. He never claimed to want to marry anyone, much less Kate. He simply wanted the opportunity to be with her. Take her to bed. But as he tried to picture the two of them together, his mind hit a mental roadblock. He shook off the unsettling feeling in his gut. Evidently, Radha’s advice was getting to him more than he anticipated.
“I’m going to head out. With Kate not speaking to me, I might have to take over her load on the Carnavale case.” By choosing the wrong bed partner, he had not only wrecked his friendship with Kate, but also potentially destroyed their business. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a check. “Before I forget, here’s a little cash to help out with Lulu.”
Radha’s eyes grew wide as she scanned the check. Instantly, her hand shot out to give the paper back to her brother. “Ten thousand dollars? Are you crazy? I can’t take this.”
His features pinched together in irritation. “Why the hell not? She’s my niece and I already told you I’d cover the daycare bill.”
“Dec, Lulu doesn’t attend daycare with Beyoncé’s daughter. Ten thousand dollars probably covers the tuition for the year,” she said.
“Perfect. Hell of a lot cheaper than I thought it would cost to watch your little she-devil.” His joke fell flat as she still looked upset. “Radha, this is nothing. Honestly, this check probably covers how much I spend a month on condoms.”
Finally, she smiled and pushed him playfully. “This is ridiculously generous. I don’t know how to possibly begin to thank you.”
“You can tell Lulu what a great guy her Uncle Declan is. I’ll sleep better knowing that there’s at least one girl out in the universe that doesn’t hate my guts.”
“Oh, Declan,” she said, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Just leave the situation alone for a while. Give both of you space. Remember Dad’s favorite saying, ‘Many a time a man’s mouth broke his nose?’ Keep that in mind.”
Declan hugged her back before heading out into the night. The loneliness as he walked toward his car felt crushing. He imagined how dejected he’d feel as he went into his house and climbed into his cold bed. He couldn’t do it. Since the moment his mother kicked him out of her life, he’d had to find refuge elsewhere. First, it was drugs. And then sex once he cleaned up. The easiest answer was to find the closest bar to Radha’s apartment and pick up the first woman to catch his eye.
But the idea opened up a cavernous-sized pit in his stomach. His normal behavior was what got him into this mess in the first place. Something had to give.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he picked up his phone. Just before the call seemed likely to go to voicemail, he heard a breathless, “Hello.”
“Care to meet for a drink?”
***
Jenna slid into the booth across from him with unpracticed grace. Motioning to his coffee cup, she quipped, “When you said a drink, I thought you meant something stronger.”
Before he could reply, she shrugged out of her light jacket. New Jersey weather was a bitch to dress for. September could have scorching hot temperatures or be cold enough to break out the parka. When he stopped talking to his family, he always thought of ditching the state for California. But some sort of mental pull kept him firmly rooted to the state. Once he bought his own house, he s
topped fantasizing altogether about moving cross-country.
Jenna had agreed to meet him at a diner without question when he called. She was likely working under the assumption Declan had news on her brother’s investigation. He was too needy to relieve her of the false pretense.
“I don’t drink.” Jenna was too well-bred to immediately demand his self-imposed sobriety, but he still felt the need to clarify. “I had a drug problem after my accident. It started to cope with the pain and got worse as I started having visions I couldn’t understand.” Declan was overdue for an NA meeting. All of the emotional highs and lows could bring back old urges. He promised himself to research local meetings once he arrived back home.
Jenna leaned back and watched him closely. “I read up a lot about psychic phenomenon. One theory going around online is that, since psychics develop their abilities after a near-death experience, Death himself gifts the powers.”
“I don’t remember anything after the accident, so I couldn’t say. One minute I was skiing down a sick trail and the next I woke up paralyzed in a hospital bed.” He tapped his fingers against the table. “It would be great if this psychic thing came with an owner’s manual.”
“I think you’re doing a good job on your own. You got clean and now you’re using the abilities to help people.” Before she could continue, a waitress came by their table to take her order. Jenna asked for a piece of pie and a double espresso. Once the waitress left, her attention turned back on him. “I want to help people too. I’m working for my parents’ company while finishing up nursing school.”
Deadly Prophecy: A Second Sight Series Spin-Off Page 11