by Diana Paz
The bell rang. Crap. Brian would be here any second. She shoved the essay into her backpack and hurried to the hallway to find him. Her heart pumped erratically in her chest. Was she really going to do it? The thought of his chocolaty brown eyes looking at her with anything other than tenderness almost made her back down. Whether or not Ethan would ever be with her, enough was enough. She had to let Brian go.
“Julia?”
“Hey, Brian.”
“Hey, beautiful.”
His smile made her heart melt, but when he leaned in for a kiss she turned her face aside. No. No more kisses. Not ever again.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, taking her uninjured hand in his.
She exhaled slowly. A part of her wanted to wait until lunch, or maybe after school. Maybe wait until the weekend when they would have time to talk. That had been her excuse all week. If only she didn’t care about him at all. If only there was something wrong with him. If only he didn’t still make her heart speed up when he looked at her with so much love.
“Julia?”
She blinked past the sudden mist in her eyes. “Hey, can we sit for a minute?”
“You have PE right now. I have chemistry.”
She shut her eyes as students whooshed past them. Her mind spun. She forced herself to look at him. “I know, but it can’t wait. I have to tell you something and I have to tell you now.”
His hand tightened on hers. “It can wait.”
“No. No, it can’t.” She pressed her lips together before saying, “I have to break up with you.”
His head gave a single jerk to the side. He flinched.
She forced herself to keep her gaze on him, absorbing the pain reflecting from his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“No explanation?” he whispered harshly. “Nothing? Just breaking up with me between classes like the last month meant nothing?”
She had nothing to say for herself, but she couldn’t let him think he meant nothing. “I loved the past few weeks—”
“You know what? Save it.” He looked down at their hands, still linked, and yanked his free. “I should’ve seen this coming.”
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I guess you couldn’t wait to tell me,” he said, his eyes flicking toward the students passing by. “Or are you doing this here so I don’t make a scene, begging you to give us another try?”
Waves of pain washed over her. Why had the Fates done this? Why hadn’t they chosen Brian to be her protector? Then Ethan would have only been Brian’s brother to her. Then everything would have made sense.
He held up his hands and backed away. “You got me, Julia. I can’t do this here.” His eyes grew hard and accusatory. “I hope you’ll call me later, at least. Give me a chance to understand what the hell this is about.”
She nodded, but he didn’t see her. He was already shoving his way through the crowded hall in the opposite direction.
Julia’s vision swirled out of focus from unshed tears. She raced out beyond the field and past the locker rooms. She didn’t know where she was going, but she couldn’t handle PE. Not after that.
She paused, leaning against the locker room wall as Coach Hamden’s whistle screeched in the distance. Life kept going, whether she was a part of it or not. But she wasn’t completely a part of this life anymore. Not really. One half of her belonged to the Fates now. And to Ethan.
Without meaning to, her mind searched for him.
She met the mental wall that was now becoming familiar—as cool as marble and just as impenetrable. Her eyes stung at the knowledge that he was keeping her out. The wall he had put up had all of his essence, and she was tempted to send him her thoughts, just to see if he would respond, but she withdrew her presence. She felt so pathetic. Sending him her thoughts and meeting a freaking wall? It was like texting someone who she knew was ignoring her, except so much worse, because she couldn’t even delude herself into thinking his phone might be off.
How could two brothers be so different? Brian was always sweet. He was never rude or curt or borderline mean. If the Fates had chosen Brian—but it was useless to think about. And breaking up with Brian hadn’t changed anything. She knew it wouldn’t, but she’d had to do it. Brian deserved to find someone who wasn’t in a forced connection with his brother.
She kicked the wall behind her, letting her head drop. There was no way to make things work with either of them. The Fates had decided what would happen to her heart. It would be torn in two.
The sound of muffled sobs pulled her out of the fog she had sunk into. She pushed herself off the wall. Ten steps away she found the source of the sobs; a girl with dark hair that fell like a shining curtain over her face. Her tanned, shapely legs were drawn up to her chest. If the mark on Julia’s arm hadn’t been giving off waves of gentle warmth, she wouldn’t have believed this vulnerable, crying person sitting tucked in a ball could possibly be Kaitlyn Tesoro.
Kaitlyn—with her flashing eyes and sinister, sultry grin—was hiding behind the girls’ locker room, and Julia was about to sit beside her and comfort her? She shook her head to clear it. The world had officially gone insane.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” she asked.
Kaitlyn glanced up, her green eyes vivid against the backdrop of her red, splotched skin, marred with the fury of Indira’s scar.
“What the hell do you think is the matter? I have a massive scar across my face. I’m a freak.” She sniffed. “Like you. And Angie.”
So much for the world being different. Julia glanced down at her own slashed hand with an inflamed scar very similar to the one across Kaitlyn’s face. “It doesn’t look so bad.”
“Oh, shut it.”
Julia smiled, surprised at herself for not feeling angry at Kaitlyn’s rudeness. “Since we’re all freaks, we should get matching T-shirts.”
Kaitlyn paused, her sob turning into a laugh of sorts.
“I’m serious,” Julia said. “We could call ourselves the Freaks of Fate. Give ourselves cool superhero code names.”
“You’re a dork,” Kaitlyn said, no longer crying.
Julia nudged her. “Hey. Thanks for not letting Indira chop off my hand.”
She shrugged. “Thanks for not letting me drown in that river.”
Angie rounded the corner, her brow puckered with worry. Relief spread over her features when she saw them. “Shouldn’t you both be in PE?”
“Chill,” Julia said. “Kaitlyn and I were having a moment.”
“Is that what that was?” Kaitlyn muttered.
Julia smiled at her before turning to Angie. “What’s up?”
“I felt a surge of energy not too long ago. I was worried that somehow the creatures had come back.”
Angie glanced at Julia, who shook her head.
Kaitlyn waved her hand dismissively. “Whatever. It was me.”
“What? I thought our task was completed! How are there still creatures?”
“No creatures. Well, I guess you could call them creatures,” Kaitlyn said. “I blasted Becca and Ashleigh. In front of some freshman.”
Angie let out a breath. “It’s dangerous to let others know about our powers.”
“I don’t care.” Kaitlyn got up, dusting off her PE shorts. “My first day back has been a suck-fest. I’m going home.”
Julia could practically see the war going on in Angie’s mind about Kaitlyn ditching class. “Let her go,” Julia said. “She’s skipped school for stupider reasons.”
Angie blinked in surprise. “Since when are you so nice to Kaitlyn?”
“I wouldn’t call it nice.” She relented under the force of Angie’s sugar cookie smile. “Fine. We bonded over a few near-death experiences. Yay, Kaitlyn.”
Angie gave her a quick hug. “Thanks for trying. I’d better head to the library. Time to get a jump on my biology assignment.”
Julia sighed as her friend took off.
Her thoughts returned again to Ethan, fin
ding that same wall, smooth as polished glass. He wasn’t far. Maybe that meant something. She couldn’t help the leap her heart did as she raced toward the school fence. Maybe he was waiting for her on the other side.
And what if he isn’t?
She skidded on the pebbly ground, losing her balance and landing hard on her knee.
“Crap.”
Kaitlyn was right. This day was a total suck-fest. Her gaze went from her knee, now oozing blood, to the fence. There was no sign of Ethan. Her heart grew heavy, pumping with painful pressure. It was almost worse to go looking for him, knowing he wouldn’t be there, than to stay inside and be sure she wouldn’t find him.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat and lifted her hand to her knee. “Restore,” she whispered. She wiped at her eyes. If only that spell could work on her heart.
A gentle brush stroked the surface of her mind. It would have been barely noticeable if she hadn’t been constantly hoping for it. But it was there.
She got up and walked toward the gap in the fence.
“Ethan?”
Epilogue
Ethan
Ethan leaned back against the chain-link fence. The metal made crisscross impressions across his shoulder blades through his shirt. He glanced at the opening near the dumpster, just wide enough for Julia to squeeze through.
She wasn’t far, and she was trying to establish their connection. He let her find the wall he had perfected, leaving her completely shut out.
Another presence filled his thoughts, crisp and clear. He frowned. His gaze darted away from the fence and up the street.
That wasn’t the straightforward probing of Julia’s mind. This was someone else, and the only other person who could reach his thoughts was her.
Jules? he asked, unable to rein in his longing, knowing that no mental wall could keep her out. She knew him too well, too intimately—and she was far too powerful.
Julia approached, but it was his Julia. His eyes drank her in, immediately recognizing her confident gait and direct gaze. She was an inch taller than Julia, with a body that was two years older. Her thick hair fell in soft waves, her brown eyes were filled with all the bright certainty he remembered. Those eyes watched him now with a hint of caution. Almost as if she expected him to dash off. But he couldn’t leave her now, even if he wanted to.
“Jules,” he whispered, releasing himself from the fence at his back.
The tension around her eyes eased, but she didn’t step into his arms. “You’re here.” She offered him a hesitant smile. “I guess that means things went well?”
He withdrew half a step. “We all made it back alive, if that’s what you mean.”
“You know what I mean.”
Yes, he thought bitterly. He knew exactly what she meant. She wanted to know if he had established the connection with Julia and set the proper future in motion.
“Your past-self found me,” he muttered. “I made sure she didn’t die, as you probably figured out, and she and I—we formed the connection. Mission accomplished.”
Her brows came together. There was a sadness in her eyes that left them haunted. Her mouth formed a soft frown. “I guess I’ll find out the rest when I get back to my own time.”
He let out a humorless laugh. The rest?
Yes, the rest, she said, and he sucked in a breath at how easily she could read his mind. When I return to my own time, will I still have the same memories that I have now? I guess that depends on what you did with my sixteen-year-old self.
He swallowed past the heat that raced up his face. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing Julia. Not when she first summoned him and it felt exactly like the times Jules had done it. The sight of her, even a silly, ignorant, clumsy version of her, set his heart racing. And it was all because of what Jules had masterminded over the past few weeks. It was all a part of her plan to ensure the safety of the Daughters.
He unclenched his jaw, dragging his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe you,” he rasped. “Meeting me on the beach last month, acting like you didn’t know me. You should have told me—”
“What, exactly?” Julia laughed humorlessly. “That I’d spent the past two years of my life time traveling with a future version of yourself? Battling creatures and doing magic? What would you have said?”
He forced air into his lungs. “You could have told me you dated my brother.”
She watched him through her lashes. “If I had told you that, I doubt you would’ve spent the past month with me.”
His face burned at the memory of that month. Jules had stepped into his life like she had always been there. Like she belonged. From the moment they met, she had known exactly what to say, how to make him laugh, how to get him to open up. He thought he had met his dream girl. She had somehow known him as no one else ever had. Now he knew why. It was because she had known him. She had been with him for the past two years, getting to know him.
He turned away as other memories surged to the front of his thoughts. The night they had spent on the beach ... He lowered his eyes, sending her the thoughts that now burned through his memory.
A hiss escaped her lips and her cheeks burned crimson. He experienced a moment’s satisfaction as he searched her mind and found her thinking the same thoughts he was thinking.
“Stop it,” she said.
He took her wrist and tugged her close. “Why should I?” His other arm slid around her waist as he brought her within an inch of his lips. “Am I supposed to pretend that this never happened? That just two weeks ago you and I weren’t—”
“I said stop!” She wrenched herself free and stumbled back, her chest heaving. “The past month was all for the sake of getting you to attach yourself to the Daughters. You belong to her now. To Julia. I-I can’t have you and you know it.”
“You are Julia.”
Her voice became low and forceful. “Not the one you need.”
He couldn’t make his throat open up. Jules—his Jules—the one who knew him inside and out, the one who didn’t watch him with questioning eyes and who didn’t look at him like a stranger.
“Don’t time travel back,” he whispered. And because he couldn’t stop himself, he took her hands, his thumb brushing across the familiar scar on her right hand. His eyes slid shut and he said, You’re the one I want. You’ll always be the one I want.
A strangled sound escaped her throat. She stepped into his arms, her hands sliding up his shoulders as her head rested against his chest. He could feel the longing inside her. She wanted to stay much more desperately than she wanted to admit. But there was something else. A chasm of sadness and uncertainty threatened to swallow her whole. She was afraid of leaving him. But why?
I’m sorry, Ethan.
Their thoughts flowed through each other’s minds, back and forth without beginning or end. He felt a surge of relief at her familiarity. He didn’t want to let her go.
She pulled back, her eyes searching his.
Goodbye.
Wait. Don’t go.
You know I have to go. I don’t belong to this time.
He forced himself to breathe and willed his heart to keep beating. What happens now?
I don’t know.
The sound of gravel crunching in clumsy, plodding footsteps met his ears.
“That’ll be me,” Jules said, breaking their connection as she glanced at the gate. “About to trip and skin my knee.”
Julia’s voice carried from around the building. “Crap.”
“I’m taking a minute to heal myself,” Jules said, her gaze returning to his. “You were waiting here for me when I finished, with this exact same scowl on your face.”
Ethan’s chest flooded with heat. “What if I leave right now? What if ... what if that Julia comes through this gate and I’m not here?”
Her gaze remained steady as she backed away. “Then I guess you won’t be waiting for me when I get back to my own time, either.”
Ethan bit back a curse.
He didn’t know if he could do it. He didn’t think he could wait here for a sixteen-year-old Julia to come around the corner. He couldn’t act like he didn’t know that she would someday go back in time and betray him, tricking him into falling for her even while knowing they could never be together. All for the sake of her precious tasks and the other Daughters.
Her fearful voice returned to him. Don’t leave me, Ethan.
He shut his eyes.
Jules glanced behind her. Ethan followed her gaze to the two girls who stood at the end of the street, one with hair as black as night, the other her pale counterpart.
“I have to go,” she said, choking on the words. She pressed her lips to his so hard their teeth met, but before he could take hold of her she ran off.
He couldn’t find his voice as she ran toward her sisters. His mind reached out one more time. Please ... will I ever see you again?
She didn’t slow, but her voice carried in his mind, far-off and unclear as another presence entered his consciousness, muddling her voice. You will, if you just look behind you.
He didn’t. Instead, he kept his eyes locked on her. The last of her impression evaporated from his mind as the three girls became a shimmer of light. Before his next heartbeat, they were gone.
The other presence forced itself through his thoughts without grace or subtlety. He passed his hand across his eyes and turned around. There she was, her hair a wild mess and her eyes wide and uncertain. Despite it all, even though he hated to admit it, the sight of her made him want to smile.
She came to a halt.
“Ethan?”
An accomplished procrastinator, Diana Paz has always dreamed of freezing time. Born in Costa Rica and raised on Miami Beach, she moved to California in her teens and has never lived farther than a hundred miles from one ocean or another. She completed her BA in Liberal Studies at California State University, San Marcos, and lives with her husband, three kids, and two dogs in sunny Southern California. Visit her at www.dianapaz.com.