He folded his arms. If he didn’t make some major changes, he’d spend the rest of his life going home to his dog while all of his friends cuddled a warm woman. It was his own fault. He’d locked down his emotions and bottled them up for most of his life. He couldn’t let anyone in. Because if he let them in, if he let himself love them, then he was setting himself up to be hurt.
And then there was Rachel. He’d had feelings for her a long time ago, but had stuffed those feelings down when he came back from Afghanistan broken. With a suitcase of baggage to work through. Besides, she needed a friend, not a lover. Not that he could be anything more to her while he had his own baggage to sort out. Shoot, his last girlfriend had walked away because he was ‘emotionally unavailable,’ as she put it.
Quiet beeping and the hushed voices of the men and women were the only sounds in the waiting room. The clock on the opposite wall ticked each interminable second off. He should be back there. Protecting Rachel. Helping Lucas keep Joey from strong-arming her into something she didn’t want.
Brittany straightened in the chair. “How is she?”
“I think she’s okay. It was touch and go for a while but she did great. It’s like she knew what I wanted her to do to defuse the situation. She’s been fighting him off for a long time, and he’d beaten her down. But she was determined. I think a bit of the old Rachel was fighting back.”
Sarah wrung her hands. “The whole family’s been worried about her for a long time. I met her and Shane at the festival last year. We didn’t like him from the start and saw something wrong between them even then. At least she’s finally free of him.”
“Rachel may be free physically, but she has a long road ahead of her.” Brittany shook her head. “Trust me, I know. My mother thought about leaving my father many times but never did. Thank God Shane and Rachel don’t have kids. Hopefully, that will make it easier for her. But she’s been beat down emotionally, and she’ll need time to recover.”
“She’s going to need her family. As much as she fights it, she’s going to need all of your support.” Sawyer glanced back down the hallway. Even mine.
Sarah patted his knee. “I’m so glad she has you in her corner.”
“She always has.” Sawyer leapt out of the chair and paced the floor. No, that wasn’t working. He sat. What was taking them so long?
He had just closed his eyes, the exhaustion finally setting in, when Brittany jumped up. He snapped his eyes open and scrambled to his feet. Lucas pushed Rachel in a wheelchair through the swinging doors. Joey walked beside them, his hand on Rachel’s shoulder while she fiddled with the blanket that covered her lap.
“I’m ready to go. Did you call ahead?” If Rachel wouldn’t even say the word shelter, how would she feel when Sawyer told her they didn’t have room?
“I called… they didn’t have any beds.”
Rachel deflated, the little bit of hope in her eyes washed away. How much more did she have to take?
Joey patted her shoulder. “See, honey, now you can come stay with me.”
Rachel’s head snapped up and with panic in her eyes, she shook her head, just barely.
Sawyer’s heart broke for her. She was going to be forced into another situation not of her own choosing. “Our overflow shelter in Chestnut Hill had a break-in, so not only did they fill our beds, we don’t have a backup close by. I can take you to the shelter in Philly.” Sawyer hated to see the defeated look in her eyes as he told her the bad news.
Her deep, sorrowful eyes pleaded with him beneath furrowed brows. Suddenly, her face lit up. “I can stay with Sawyer.”
What? Where had that come from? That was all he needed. Joey eyed Sawyer suspiciously and even the always-calm Lucas crossed his arms.
This was not a good idea. He had to make his report, and he’d probably be called to testify. If he had the plaintiff, the victim, staying at his house, Shane’s lawyer could twist that into something prejudicial.
“Please.” Rachel’s voice was quiet, weak. He could never resist her when she pleaded like that. Growing up, she’d begged to come along with him and Joey and he’d always given in. Every time.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with Lucas or Joey?”
She didn’t answer.
This was not a good idea, but at least she would be safe. Rachel in his house meant he’d have to see the woman he loved every day but not be able to touch her, to love her, the way she should be loved. Because he couldn’t really give her the love she deserved. “I guess that’ll be all right. Just until we can get you settled somewhere else. Chloe will enjoy the company.”
A trembling smile crossed her face. Spending some time with Chloe would be good for Rachel. Chloe had comforted him many a night when he’d had a rough call on the job… or when the nightmares made an appearance. God, what if he had a nightmare while she was there? He’d gotten them mostly under control with Robert and Dr. James’s help, but they came roaring over him sometimes when the stress in his life hit too close to home. This was definitely one of those times. This is why he couldn’t be truly intimate with a woman. The garbage in his head kept him safely at arm’s length. Just him and Chloe, who would slide up next to him when the nightmares snuck under the wall he’d built to keep the emotions out.
But despite all of that, he’d let Rachel into his home if that was what she needed to feel safe. He crouched down in front of her chair. “You ready?”
“Yeah.”
Sawyer stood and darted through the ER doors to his cruiser he’d left parked at the entrance. What had he been thinking, agreeing to her crazy idea? There was still time to talk her out of it, to drive her to the shelter in Philly. Hell, any house besides his.
After Lucas brought the chair to a stop at the curb, Rachel eased herself out of it and wobbled. Sawyer dashed forward and placed his hand on her elbow.
She flinched and his heart fell. Dammit. Shane had done quite a number on her, and she likely wouldn’t trust anyone for a long time. She trusted Sawyer, though, or she wouldn’t be climbing into his car, on the way to his house, right?
After he got her settled in his cruiser and shut the door, he turned back to Lucas and Joey. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow and let you know how she’s doing. Give her some time for things to settle down.”
Joey glared at Sawyer. “Only because she asked us to. But trust me, we’re going to talk about this… later.”
Sawyer had kept his feelings for Rachel hidden from everyone, especially his best friend. They could trust him. They always had.
Sawyer climbed in the cruiser and pulled out of the parking lot. He glanced in his rearview mirror at his pissed-off buddies glaring at the car. “They love you, you know.”
She sighed. “I know. I’m just not ready for all of that right now.”
“That’s fine. Whatever you need. We’ll call around tomorrow to find you a place to stay.”
She mumbled something and turned away.
A few minutes later, they arrived at his house. As he shifted the car to park and flicked off the engine, he glanced at Rachel curled up against the window where she’d fallen asleep. Rest was the best thing for her right now—as long as the nightmares stayed away. If the terror snuck into her sleep, as it had his, the recovery would not be quick.
Fighting the urge to scoop her up in his arms and carry her into his house, he spoke softly. “Rachel, honey. We’re home.”
She didn’t stir.
He nudged her and spoke again, this time a little louder.
Her lids flickered and she straightened in her seat. “Oh, I must have fallen asleep.”
“That’s good. You needed it. It’s the middle of the night, and you’ve had a rough day. Wait here and I’ll come around and help you out.”
He hustled around the back of the car for the duffel stashed in the trunk. He’d had dispatch swing by the trailer and pack a few things for her. He flung the bag over his shoulder and pulled open her door. She reached for his hand and he eased h
er to her feet. Her steps were tentative, but he stayed right by her side as they made their way up the walk.
He inserted his key and heard the snick of the lock, followed by nails clicking rapidly behind the door. “We just need to be careful about Chloe. She’s a big sweetie but she can be a bit excitable, so let me grab her before you come in.”
He slid the door open. Chloe leapt and barked, her tongue lolling out of her mouth. He reached out and his hand fell short twice before snatching Chloe’s collar and pulling her to his side. “It’s all right, Chloe. I’ll introduce you to Rachel later. For now, you just need to be calm.” He raised his voice for Rachel’s benefit. “All clear.”
“I don’t think I’ve been here since your grandmother died.” Rachel scanned the entryway and front room of the house he’d called home for most of his life. She patted Chloe’s head absently on the way by.
What did Rachel see when she looked at his house? Did she see a man stuck in the past, unable to move forward? The hurt in his soul ran deep and he’d protected himself for so long, that was all he knew. “I’ve made a few changes since then. I’ll give you the grand tour tomorrow. For tonight, you can stay in the room at the top of the stairs.” He extended the duffel toward her. “I had Maureen go back to the trailer and pack a bag. If you need anything else, let me know.”
“I know you’re tired, too. I think what we both need is sleep.”
Sawyer’s palm cupped her shoulder and she leaned into him. He kissed her hair. “You’re absolutely right. Good night.”
She shuffled down the hall and up the stairs, her feet dragging. When the bedroom door finally clicked, he headed into the kitchen, Chloe on his heels. It wasn’t like he would get any sleep tonight anyway.
Chapter Five
THE SOFT MATTRESS and warm blankets wrapped her in a cozy cocoon. A velvety pillow cradled her head. She could stay here, comfortable in this bed, forever, shutting away the rest of her life and everything that had happened. This was world’s away from the coarse sheets and hard mattress with a sharp spring poking her in the back at the trailer.
This inviting room should have lulled her to sleep, but instead she’d lain awake for a long time. She had counted the twelve navy shadow boxes mounted on the khaki-colored walls over and over. She hadn’t been able to stop the images from flooding her mind—Shane attacking her, squeezing her neck. Sawyer using his Taser on Shane to rescue her. Her visit at the hospital and her brothers’ coming to her rescue wouldn’t disappear, either. Not until her body finally gave up did she sleep.
She squeezed her eyes shut. If she didn’t open them again, maybe the nightmare would go away. She raised her lids. No luck. She was still in Sawyer’s guest room, the ugly reminders of Shane’s attack darkening her arms.
A whimper reached her ears. She tried to move, but something trapped her feet. Her body tensed and her heartbeat thumped heavy in her chest. She drew in a deep breath. She wasn’t with Shane. He wasn’t hurting her. This was something else. She sat up. Chloe was curled at the end of the bed like a huge, golden, hairy cushion, her nose on her paws, staring right at Rachel.
“When did you come in here, sweetie? I could have sworn I shut the door.” Rachel extended her hand, palm down. After a moment, Chloe inched toward Rachel and sniffed. The Golden Retriever nudged Rachel’s hand. Someone wanted more attention. Well, that was something Rachel could provide. She wove her fingers through Chloe’s warm fur as she crawled up the bed toward Rachel.
No sounds came from the rest of the house. Sawyer had better be sleeping in. He’d had dark circles under his eyes last night, and he couldn’t stop yawning. After all he’d done for her, he deserved to rest.
There was a knock at the door. Chloe perked her ears for a moment before plopping herself onto Rachel’s lap.
Sawyer poked his head inside the room. Water dripped from the tips of his spiked brown hair, and dark stubble shadowed his square jaw. A deep green T-shirt hugged his broad shoulders and stretched tight over his chest. She had no business noticing his lean muscles or the light sprinkling of hair on his arms. She was finally rid of Shane and had no intentions of getting involved in another relationship anytime soon. Especially not with Joey’s friend… even though she’d crushed on him for most of her childhood.
His lips spread into a wide smile, brightening his tanned face. “You’re awake. I hope Chloe didn’t bother you. She whined at your door until I let her in.”
“We were just getting acquainted.”
Chloe bobbed her head, as if she approved. Silly dog. Rachel scratched Chloe’s ears and rubbed her jowls. Chloe sighed as she flopped over and exposed her belly.
Sawyer chuckled, his bright green eyes twinkling. “You aren’t stealing my dog, are you? I mean, you can borrow her while you’re here and all, but she’s my dog.”
“Are you saying that for my benefit or hers?”
“Just reminding her who feeds her.”
Chloe leapt from the bed and darted from the room, her barks echoing through the hall. He must have said the magic word.
Sawyer worried his lower lip as he turned his attention back to the room. What was he thinking? Did she really look that bad? “What time is it?”
“About seven-thirty.”
“I didn’t sleep very long, did I?”
His eyebrows raised. “About twenty-seven hours, off and on.”
She gasped. She’d slept for an entire day. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“You needed it. I wasn’t about to bother you. But I figured you’d better get up with the sun today. Do you want to come downstairs for some breakfast? Or I can bring you a tray.”
She pulled the sheet higher. Sawyer had seen her at her worst, but the sheet was her barrier, her protection. But she didn’t want to be that Rachel anymore. Only the old, beaten-down Rachel hid under the covers from a challenge. “I’d like to come down. I can’t hide out here forever.”
Sawyer’s brow furrowed.
His hair hung long on his forehead. With just a quick swipe, she could brush it back. She could soothe the worry lines on his handsome face. But this was Sawyer, Joey’s friend, the man who’d helped her… and nothing else. He couldn’t be anything else to her, but she couldn’t help the crush that lingered.
“We’ve got to take care of some business today.”
Her heart fell. He meant giving her statement at the Sherriff’s department. Did she really have to? Didn’t they have enough evidence already? No, that wasn’t right. Shane was not going to do this to another woman. Her finally pressing charges should put him away for a long time. She had this, the new, stronger Rachel. She wasn’t going to take his, or anyone’s, shit anymore.
Sawyer sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand over hers.
She trembled beneath his warm palm. She hadn’t been rattled by a gentle touch like Sawyer’s in a long time.
“I’ll be right beside you, every step of the way. The deputies and I witnessed the end of the fight and we have the tape, but you need to swear out a complaint.”
“I’ll be okay. Really.” She forced herself to give him a smile. He’d done so much for her already. “All those other times…”
“You don’t have to explain to me. We all saw what Shane did to you. I’m glad you called this time. And this time, he’ll be going away. For a long time.”
“Are you sure?” Shane had always used his father and his connections as a threat. He had people who would make sure he didn’t get into trouble. That was why she’d stayed with him for so long. What if he was right, and they believed him over her? What if he didn’t go to jail?
Sawyer eased her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest, the steady beat of his heart pattering beneath her cheek. Tears filled her eyes. She’d missed out on so much… including a chance for Sawyer to see her as anyone other than Joey’s little sister, other than a victim who needed saving. Shane had never been gentle, even in the good ole days, as she called them. Before he’d started verball
y berating her.
Sawyer cupped her shoulders. “He’ll never hurt you again. I can promise you.”
“I keep finding myself saying ‘thank you’.” It was all she ever did—mutter her gratitude, tiptoe around Shane, scamper out of the way of… whoever. Somehow she had to become “Rachel” again. The strong, fierce woman she’d been before the secret had started her down a path that had ended in Shane’s kitchen.
“No thanks are necessary.” His voice flattened as he stood and squared his shoulders.
What had she done wrong? She could never say anything right. Not to Shane and not to Sawyer, not to her parents and brothers. No wonder she was alone.
“Breakfast is about ready. Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”
She wrapped her arms around her belly. It was about time she did something for herself. First things first, though. She had to get out of bed and start her day. There would be no more hiding at home until the bruises faded. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
He stood and extended his hand. “At least let me help you up.”
She eased onto her feet. Deep aches screamed in every muscle, and spots swam in front of her eyes. She swayed and grabbed Sawyer’s arms. Why was he being so nice to her? She was a mess and so was her life. Why had he offered to help and agreed to let her stay when she had nothing to give him in return? “I guess I stood up a little too fast.”
She rested for a moment, his hands on her waist and her hands on his arms. Big, strong arms. Warm, too. A familiar tickle formed in her stomach. She hadn’t felt the butterflies in her belly, the sizzling quivers coursing through her body, since Shane had first turned his smile toward her. She took a single step, and another, each one stronger than the last. “I’m okay now. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“As long as you’re sure.”
”Yeah.”
His gaze stayed locked on her as she took a tentative step, her hand on the bed for support. Finally, he nodded and left the room. Whew, he was finally gone. Her head swam and not from her injuries. Sawyer had sparked something deep inside her she’d long since buried.
One Last Chance: A Small-Town Romance (Oak Grove series Book 3) Page 4