by Jenna Bernel
Kate offers to give me a ride home, and Alec doesn’t protest, since he's basically following us to my house anyways. I think he can tell I needed a human break. I glance in the visor’s mirror and see Jasmine talking to him in the passenger seat a car’s length behind. Kate had driven her to school, so we basically swapped places. Jasmine beams a bright white smile at Alec like he just said something funny, and he catches my eye in the mirror watching them.
I quickly look away, pretending like I have no interest whatsoever in what they're talking, about but it's killing me not to be in on their conversation. I still get the feeling he's keeping things from me about the mission in order to "protect" me again, and I hate that he's confiding in Jasmine instead of in me. I swallow down the lump in my throat, waving off the hot flash that has lit my insides on fire, and sneak one more look at them. She's touching his arm now!
"You don't like her, do you?" Kate asks, flicking her eyes to the rearview mirror to get a glimpse of them behind us. I clear my throat and flip the visor back up so I'm not tempted to keep looking.
"Who?" I decide to play dumb. I'm exhausted. It never used to be this hard to play human, but I'm already missing Cali, which surprises me. The constant back-and-forth, pretending to not have the weight of the world on your shoulders, all while going on a rescue mission, only to be assigned a term paper? Like any of that matters in the grand scheme of my life right now while my friend is being tortured and experimented on like some sort of twisted science project… Yeah, exhausting sums it up.
"Dani," Kate says accusatorily, like I know damn well she's talking about Jasmine. She's not buying my routine today. In fact, she never does. I don't give Kate enough credit. She's always so much more perceptive than I want her to be. In fact, it's dangerous.
"She's all right." I shrug, ready for a subject change.
"It's because she was all chummy with Alec, isn't it?" Kate continues, in no mood for a subject change.
"Of course not! I'm with Evan now and we're great," I protest, trying to derail her train of thought.
"Look, I know you care about Evan and he's been your friend forever, and don't get me wrong, you guys make the cutest couple," Kate states with a big sigh at the end.
I let out a hefty sigh too. "But?"
"But," she continues, "it's hard to forget how you were with Alec, even now. I don't know, you two obviously still have…chemistry." Kate mulls her last word like she can't find the right adjective to describe us. I'd explain it to her, but she'd have a heart attack, so I go on the defensive.
"Could you give me a break, please? I'm still crazy jet-lagged and I'm still crazy about Evan, end of story." Evan is amazing to me and I'm lucky to have him. I curl into the seat, ready for a nap. She has no idea how jet-lagged I really am.
"Okay, I get it. But…don't think this conversation is over," she teases, and my chest bucks in a silent laugh. Why would I think that? I can't remember one instance in our entire ten years of friendship where she let a train of thought go. When that girl wants information, she gets it.
Too bad I can't tell her about Eli. Even if Kate hadn’t had feelings for him, she still would have figured out the whole seventh circle system, found Stella, and had a rescue plan in place twenty-four hours after his disappearance, just because I asked for her help. She's that good a friend. I look up at her sadly. Those two had some chemistry going themselves before Eli was kidnapped, and it kills me not to tell her the truth. It's a pity…they would have made a cute couple too.
I sigh, thinking of Evan and how good it felt to be with him today. I know he's going to want to come over tonight, but I have to go into the city to get ready for the mission tomorrow. I'll have to tell him I’m working at the restaurant, but I fear he'll think something’s up since I just got back. I'm afraid I'm going to have to break one of my biggest rules and Trance him, and my stomach turns unpleasantly at the idea.
I guess that rule has been broken many times over since I left to keep our cover story going, because how else would we have convinced everyone that Alec and I left the homecoming dance so abruptly to "take the red-eye to Germany"? I know it's for their own good, but I still feel guilty. Something about Jasmine manipulating them all week sends a shiver down my spine.
Kate pulls up to my house and Alec's car parks at the curb.
"So, Dale’s party tonight?" Kate turns to me before putting the car in park.
"I can't. I promised my dad I'd work a shift at the restaurant," I explain, trying not to meet her eyes.
"What?! But you just got back. Can't you get out of it?" she whines.
"Sorry, I think it's more that he wants some family time, and I'm sure he's been swamped since I've been gone." I unbuckle my seatbelt, ready to bolt.
"Since when do you care about family time with your dad? And since when did you start calling him Dad again when he's not around? Something is up with you." Kate says it like a fact that I shouldn't bother denying, so I don't.
I haven't told her about my mom's affair and how my dad raised me as his own despite what she did, and I don't plan to. I don't want anyone to know; it'll only raise more questions. Plus, if I’m supposed to work on this forgiveness crap, I might as well start with him. I mean, I know anyone in Cali would kill me for even thinking this, since they all love Christoph so much, but I'm much less inclined. I appreciated him finally letting me be involved in my own life plan, but that's not exactly earning him a gold star in my book. I mean, what kind of Angel has an affair with a married woman, anyway? Isn't that like the ultimate sin or something?
"Dani? Hello? Where'd you drift off to? Are you sure everything's OK? You seem different." Kate pulls me back to the present. I want to laugh, but it's too morbid to laugh at how not okay it is.
"I'm great!" It comes out so forced that she pulls a face, and I slump my shoulders.
"Like I said, just jet-lagged," I quickly add, and she slowly nods, eyeing me suspiciously, still not believing me. Jasmine knocks sharply on the car window and I jump in my seat. I look up, trying to hold back my glare, and I swear I see her smirk, like she crept up on me vamp style on purpose. I open the door to get out and she hops in my seat next to Kate. I wave goodbye as Kate pulls out, and Alec gets out of his car and approaches me.
"What's with the face?" Alec asks when he comes near. I shift my weight uncomfortably, suddenly very interested in the pattern of the driveway.
"Just spit it out, Dani," Alec says, tightening his jaw so hard that I hear his teeth snap shut. He must know where this is going.
"Well, we just got back. Can't you give me a couple of hours alone before we leave?" I say, adding as little detail as possible, hoping he'll blindly agree.
"Alone?" he asks. Guess not.
"I… I just think Evan will want to hang out for a bit since I'm not going to Dale's party tonight. He'll get suspicious if I bail on seeing him, since I just got back." I try to soften the blow as much as possible, but Alec can't hide the grumble of irritation in his throat.
"You've got an hour," he spits forcefully before turning on his heels back to his car, and I let out the breath I'd been holding. It's not like I’m trying to be a bitch… Guess I'm just built that way. A gloomy cloud hangs in the sky, and I shiver, looking up into the grayness masking the sun. I tug my coat closer when I hear Alec's tires squeal against the pavement, leaving smoke pluming behind him as he peels out. That's going to leave a mark. I hope I haven't left one on him too, but I know better. I feel as gray as the sky, the hostile thoughts trying to cloud my insides. I turn and run in the house, calling Evan to come hold me before they mask over me for good.
Chapter 19: One Small Hitch
"Damn, you're gorgeous," Evan says as he wraps his hands around my waist, looking at the full-length mirror in my room. I put in some dangly earrings as he kisses the peak of my shoulder and looks up at me through his lashes in the mirror.
"You sure you can't stay in Mapleton tonight? I missed you," he says huskily, moving his hands to my hi
ps and pulling me closer against him. My throat purrs with approval and butterflies begin to fill my stomach. Evan and I were quite abruptly cut off at homecoming, and it's been almost two weeks since we've had some privacy to relive the experience. I don't think he's kept his lips off me since he climbed up my balcony an hour ago, not that I mind one bit. He's been gentle and achingly sweet, keeping all my stress at bay. I hook in the second earring and turn to face Evan, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pull him to me.
His mouth eagerly meets mine, and he moans into me when I slip my tongue to touch his. We embrace deeply and he tangles his fingers in my wavy hair. My weight becomes unsteady as I explore his mouth, his lips, moving my hands up the back of his shirt to feel his warm skin. His defined muscles flex as I tease them with my fingertips, and he steps us backward until my legs are pressed against my bed. We collapse down together and I feel his weight pressing into me, and it sends a shiver all the way down my thighs until my breathing becomes erratic. My chest arches into him with each rapid breath. His mouth tastes so virtuous that I’m addicted to the purity of these moments. I could do this all night.
It feels so good like this with Evan, exploring this new side of us. It's strange how easy it was to go from friends to this, but mostly because it feels effortless, like our friendship was some ten-year foreplay buildup to this time in our lives when we’d finally be together. Evan's fingers hook under my black top and slowly trail their way to my bra. I instantly freeze.
"Sorry, too fast?" Evan asks breathlessly when I push my hands on his chest to separate our lips. He swiftly removes his hand from under my shirt and puts it on my cheek, skimming the features of my face like he's trying to read my mind. Yes, yes, way too fast.
"No, no, it's not that." I lift my head to give him a reassuring kiss and smooth my palm over his arm.
"It's just the time. I have to get going," I explain. It's true, but a part of me knows it's a lie, and I'm trying to stay calm because that totally freaked me out. It feels so right with him, so what the hell is my problem? I should want him and those strong hands exploring every inch of me. Evan sucks in his cheek and I kiss his cute dimple, trying to distract him by slowly making my way up to his earlobe and giving it a tiny nibble.
"Is there something you want to tell me? Something seems different about you since you got back," Evan says, ignoring my attempts at distracting him. Jeez, first Kate and now Evan? I must be really rusty with this human routine. And then it occurs to me that maybe that's not what they're seeing. Maybe it's more than my bad acting skills, that the darkness is getting so prevalent that even they can detect it. My soul is slowly being ripped away from me and now even humans can sense it.
I roll until I’m on top of Evan and kiss him deeply, roaming my hands over his chest and then wrapping them behind his neck, pulling him closer. He sits us up, never leaving my lips, and holds tight to my thighs, sweeping his silky tongue in my mouth when I sigh into his lips with approval. I reluctantly separate our kiss even though he tastes like candy, giving one last soft peck to the corner of his wide grin.
"I missed you too," I whisper heatedly into his ear as I catch my breath, and if that's the only truth I can give him today, I'm glad it's that. I want to be everything Evan Clark deserves and more.
"Sure you're all right? We don't have to rush if that's what you're worried about. I'm not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world." Evan gives me a shy smile, brushing his fingers softly down the waves of my hair. I melt at his touch, relaxing further into his lap. I gently press my forehead to his.
"You're amazing, you know that?" I kiss him on the cheek before standing up and straightening out my outfit.
"No, you are," Evan corrects, standing up and kissing the side of my temple. "Text me later?" he asks, giving me a sexy smile before opening the balcony door.
"Of course. You know you can go out the front door," I offer, laughing at his default move.
"I know, but I need to keep my climbing skills sharp. I wouldn't ever want to give up the direct access to your bedroom." He winks, and my cheeks heat, showing him I agree. Evan gives me a pleased look, very much approving of my bashful reaction, before disappearing down the ivy-covered lattice.
*****
"Eric, look at you! You look great!" I beam, giving him a hug, which he gladly takes. It's so strange to hug a vampire and have him welcome the embrace as if it is as natural as breathing, which I guess for them it isn't anymore. Really, though, only Alec's turned are like this, the way Vampires used to be, according to Roman, and the way they have to be before we're all destroyed.
"In all fairness, I was practically in a coma the last time you saw me," Eric says, stepping out of the hug to look me over. Eric was the vamp I helped Alec turn light. He's the last piece of the puzzle that we needed to bring Eli home. He looks fantastic, strong and healthy, nothing like the weak vamp I saw lying unconscious while Alec's special brand of blood slowly repaired his broken soul.
"You look great too," Eric returns the compliment, but something tightens in his eyes as he delivers the lie, and I know he senses it, what I’m becoming. I step out of his embrace completely and catch Alec looking at me with a hint of pity. He quickly averts his gaze, knowing that I'll kick his ass if he keeps looking at me with that pity in his eyes. It grows stale in the room as I make my way through the introductions. We’re at Eli's apartment going over the plan for tomorrow night. Alec has brought on three more of his turned for this mission, including Brooks.
Being that I've only ever worked solo or with Alec directly in The Basement before, I'm starting to feel nervous that too many happy vamps in one space will blow our cover. I try to remember Alec and how incredible he was on our mission for Eric. They can't all be as good, but I'm sure he's trained them well.
"You coming with me?" Jasmine asks Alec while bending forward and putting a hand on his shoulder. I wrinkle my nose at the sight of it. They're practically lip to lip.
"I'll go too!" I exclaim, cutting between them so her hand is forced to leave his body.
"No way." Alec crisscrosses his hands in a ref move of finality. Jasmine bumps shoulders with me accidently on purpose and sits next to Alec on the couch, putting her hand back on his shoulder and nodding at me snidely.
“Alec’s right. We shouldn’t expose you to danger any more than absolutely necessary, Dani.”
This chick is really getting under my skin. Must there be a Harper Smith in my supernatural life too?
"I’m going. Get. Over. It.” I cross my arms, daring Alec to challenge me, and I see Jasmine’s grasp tighten on Alec’s shoulder, urging him to object.
“Dani, can I talk to you for a minute?” Alec stands up and he grabs me by the elbow, pulling me toward the spare bedroom before I can protest.
“Not in there,” I plead, digging my heels in when Alec moves to open the door. He bites his lip and scrunches his forehead, assessing me for a second, and I pray he comprehends with no need of explanation. That was Eli’s lab, where all our turned came back to life. Now it’s nothing but an empty room as soulless and without warmth as I’m becoming. I can't bear to step foot in it again. It’d be like I'm stomping on Eli himself, grinding my heel into his work and spitting on the remains. Alec nods, understanding my expression on some level, and he continues to pull me down into Eli’s bedroom and shuts the door behind us for privacy, as if a room full of vamps won’t use their super hearing to eavesdrop on this conversion anyway.
“I thought we made a deal,” Alec says with frustration, pulling me roughly in by my elbow until my body’s firmly pressed to his, and I can't help but notice the charge of electricity that it sets off in the room when he closes the gap between us.
“We did. And the deal was that you were going to back off the protective crap and let me help you. Stop pretending you don’t need me. I can’t take it.” I swallow at the vulnerability of my words and avert my gaze from his.
“I do need you, Dani. I need you to stay alive.” Alec�
�s voice softens, and he slowly moves his hand from my elbow until he brushes my chin, guiding me back until my eyes find his.
“But—”
“I can’t do this without you tomorrow,” Alec starts to explain, cutting me off. “Please, don’t fight me on this. We’re a team. I’m the light, you’re the life.” His eyes are pleading, and they begin to sparkle with that shine like only his can. It’s not a Trance, it’s his soul that I see, and it’s breathtaking. I’m the Sword of Grace, the only creature in this realm with the gift to end Stella’s reign. I think about the eyes of the vamps at The Basement, those empty dark-as-night eyes that hold nothing behind them. These unnatural creatures are going to destroy both Nephil and vamp if we don’t stop them.
For maybe the first time since this all began, I understand who I am. All the planning, my birthright—it’s all bigger than me. I reluctantly swallow down my pride and nod at Alec before stepping out of his grasp. He sighs with relief and brushes his thumb over my cheek. “Thank you,” he whispers before walking out back to the living room.
I sit on Eli’s bed for a moment and take in what's left of his scent in the room. They’re going on a location scout for the mission tomorrow. Eric is one of the blood bank guards, and with his help since he turned light, we think we've discovered Eli's last known transfer. Once they confirm his location tonight, I’ll be there tomorrow night to free him myself.
Alec’s contacted Stella and told her he’s found me and is about to collect on his bounty. She’ll be forced to give her whereabouts because she’s as elusive as a ghost on any given day. Little does she know I’ll be hand delivered in an ambush. This will all be over soon, and I can finally go back to a somewhat normal life, I hope. I can’t put my finger on it, but I know deep down, with the darkness tugging strong, that something or someone isn’t telling me the truth.