Since his return, Sierra had been doing a good job of keeping her focus on Dalton as a friend and nothing more. However, over the past few days, as she’d leaned on him for support while dealing with everything going on with Ethan, her heart was becoming…attached.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Back at the apartment building, the guys managed to get the stuff from the truck up to Dalton’s place even though Gabe moaned and groaned about it the whole time. Sierra had to laugh when Dalton told him that if he’d wanted to listen to someone complain that much, he would have asked Danica for help.
Once all the pieces were in his apartment, then came the fun part of putting it all together. When the three of them began to argue about the best way to do that, Sierra decided to call it a night.
“I’m going to head home,” Sierra said once she had their attention.
Bennett pushed up to his feet and came to where she stood. Without hesitating, he pulled her into a tight hug.
“I know Ethan gives you hugs whenever you leave, so this is from him,” Bennett said softly.
Sierra felt a rush of emotion clog her throat, and she tightened her arms around him like she would have done to Ethan. She blinked back tears as she whispered, “Thank you.”
Bennett held her until she loosened her hold on him and stepped back. He looked down at her with a smile that held more sadness than joy. “Anytime. If you need anything, you just give Grace or me a call, okay?”
Though Sierra knew she’d never take him up on that offer, she nodded because it was what he needed to see. She turned to say goodnight to Gabe and Dalton, noting that for the first time that night, Gabe’s expression was somber. Dalton’s was also serious, but that wasn’t an unusual occurrence these days.
“I won’t be going up to the hospital tomorrow,” Dalton said as he came to where she and Bennett stood. “But give me a call if anything changes.”
“I will. I’m going to go up in the afternoon unless Makayla needs me sooner.” She fought the urge to ask Dalton for a hug, finding it was his strength and support she wanted more than anyone else’s. “I’ll see you guys later.”
As she stepped into her apartment a couple minutes later, she was greeted by quiet, dark emptiness. She closed the door and leaned back against it, hating the silence, but knowing nothing would break it except the television or her phone. It was so quiet she could hear the ticking of the clock in the kitchen.
Before she knew what she was doing, she’d turned around and reached for the doorknob. But before she could turn it, she let her head fall forward, her forehead meeting the wood surface with a soft thud.
Living on her own sucked.
When Danica moved out, it had been the first time in her life that Sierra had lived on her own. She didn’t like it, but there weren’t many options unless she was willing to advertise for a roommate and that didn’t sit well with her either. Having a stranger in her space wasn’t the answer, but then, what was?
Learning to live on her own. That was the answer.
Maybe it was time to invest in some timers so she didn’t come home to a dark apartment. She’d also have to figure out how to set up something to play music or turn the television on so it wasn’t quiet when she walked through the door.
But that wouldn’t happen for a few days, and she might need help setting it up. Normally, she would have asked Ethan to help her, but with him out of the picture for the time being, she might have to go to Dalton or Elliot.
Probably Elliot. She wasn’t sure she wanted Dalton to know that she was struggling with loneliness. For some reason, she wanted him to see her as strong, not so weak that she couldn’t deal with a quiet, dark apartment.
She stood there for a bit before pushing away from the door and hitting the switch to turn the light on in the small foyer area. Now that the darkness had been dispelled, she went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of hot chocolate.
Carrying it in one hand, she went into the living room. She snapped on the lamp on an end table and settled into a corner of the comfy plush couch she and Danica had inherited with the apartment. Sitting in the small pool of light cast by the lamp, she reached for the remote for the television and searched the shows she’d PVR’d for something that appealed to her.
She had an eclectic taste in shows because what she wanted to watch depended a lot on her mood. That meant she had cooking shows, reality shows, true crime shows, and a handful of documentaries all available to watch. After looking through her options, Sierra decided she was kind of in the mood for something light, so she cued up one of the cooking shows.
By the time she’d watched two episodes, she decided to call it a night. Even though she didn’t have to be up early the next morning for work, she didn’t want to end up spending all morning in bed. She’d heard Bennett and Gabe leave midway through the second show, so she imagined Dalton was getting ready for Jesse’s arrival the next day.
Wondering if Emily would plan a dinner for the family while Jesse was there, Sierra turned off the television and headed into the kitchen to rinse out her mug. She was sure Emily would probably want to have some sort of get-together, but who knew if that was what Dalton wanted. Somehow she thought it probably wasn’t.
That proved true the next morning when she got a text from Dalton.
Dalton: Mom wants to plan some big family thing for everyone to meet Jesse. How do I tell her that’s probably not something he’d want?
Sierra put her phone down and continued to blow dry her hair as she contemplated how to respond. From the years she’d known Emily, it was hard to dissuade her from something like that once she set her mind to it. And in this case, she probably thought it was particularly important for them all to meet Jesse since he meant so much to Dalton.
Maybe just tell her that. Be honest about it. Were you going to have him meet your folks at least?
Dalton: Well, yes. I had planned that. I just don’t really want a whole big deal made of it, and I don’t think Jesse will either.
I think she’ll understand, especially if you’ll still let her meet him.
Dalton: I was just going to have dinner with them, you, JD, Danica, and maybe Elliot since he seemed interested in meeting him.
Sierra felt a rush of warmth at being included in the gathering. I think she’d be okay with that. I really can’t believe she’d want a big get-together when they’re still helping M out with the kids.
Dalton: That’s what I thought, but apparently I was wrong.
First time for everything.
Dalton: HAHA
Sierra grinned as she set her phone back down and finished her hair. After applying a little makeup, she left her room and took her empty coffee cup to the kitchen. She wasn’t going to the hospital for a couple of hours, but she wanted to get a few errands done, including picking up some groceries for her very bare cupboards and fridge.
I’m heading to the grocery store. Did you need anything?
Dalton: Actually can I come with? I need a few things.
Sure. I was planning to leave in about fifteen minutes. Do you need more time?
Dalton: Nope. I’ll be ready.
Knock on my door when you’re ready.
Sierra finished getting her stuff together, rearranging her schedule since she’d planned to do her grocery shopping last. It wasn’t a big deal, but she’d have to come back to drop off Dalton and the groceries since she doubted that he’d want to ride along while she ran her other errands.
When the knock came a few minutes later, she pulled open the door and greeted Dalton. He wore a pair of fitted blue jeans that reminded her a lot of the skinny jeans he’d worn as a teen, and a white collared, button up, short sleeve shirt that he’d left untucked. She gathered up her things then stepped out of the apartment.
“Did you want to drive?” Sierra asked, dangling her keys from a finger as they walked down the stairs.
“Uh…” Dalton hesitated then took the keys. “Why not? It shouldn’t be to
o busy, right?”
Sierra had no clue, but logic seemed to say that traffic at ten o’clock on a weekday morning shouldn’t be too bad. “It’ll be fine.”
He slanted her a look as he held the back door open for her. “That’s not a no.”
“If it’s busy, it will be good practice for you. Just get in the lanes you need well ahead of time, and then it doesn’t matter if it’s busy.”
Once they got to the car, he had to push the seat back before he could get behind the wheel. Sierra was glad to see that his movements were confident as he put the key in the ignition and turned on the car. He took a minute to buckle his seatbelt and adjust the mirrors.
“You ready to roll?” he said with a glance at her, his hands on the wheel.
“As ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s hit the road.”
Normally she drove with music playing, but she didn’t want any distractions for Dalton, so she left it off. Their conversation was also limited, but she wasn’t sure if that was because he had other things on his mind or if he just wanted to focus on his driving. Thankfully, the parking lot of the grocery store wasn’t that full when Dalton turned into it, so he was able to find a spot not too far from the entrance that wasn’t surrounded by cars.
Unlike the previous times they’d come together, he got a cart when she did, and when they talked into the store, he said, “How long do you need?”
She thought through her list, mentally shifting gears from her expectation of spending some time with him. “Maybe forty-five minutes?”
Dalton nodded. “Sounds good. If you need longer, just text me.”
And with that, he pushed his cart toward the fruits and vegetables. Sierra stood there for a moment, a weird feeling in her stomach. Finally, moving slower than he had, she also went to the fresh fruit and vegetable section. She kept her focus on the produce and her list, resisting the urge to look around to see where Dalton was. Clearly, he was a man on a mission and wasn’t looking to be held back while he completed it.
Sierra had enjoyed their previous times together since it had made her feel less alone as she shopped for her groceries. Maybe she should have just placed an order online and picked them up. Usually she enjoyed coming to the store, but right then, being on her own filled her with a melancholy feeling that she didn’t like.
She made her way through the aisles, having to backtrack a couple of times after passing items on her list that she was supposed to have picked up. It wouldn’t have mattered, really, since it was only food for herself, and she could have adapted to not having it for the week or made another trip to the store later in the week.
At one point, she found herself standing in front of the ice cream, trying to decide which six of the many flavors in front of her she wanted. Yes, for some reason she felt like buying all the flavors that day. They had to have strawberry in them though. That was her go-to when she wasn’t feeling great. And these days, she definitely wasn’t feeling great.
“Excuse me.” Sierra looked up to see an older man with a basket standing beside her. “I just need to get some ice cream.”
“Oh. Sorry.” She moved her cart so the man could get into the freezer case then once he was gone, she reached in and grabbed two different kinds. That would have to be enough.
She checked her phone and saw that her time was just about up. Thankfully, she had gotten pretty much everything on her list. After a brief hesitation, she headed for the bulk aisle where she picked up all the ingredients she didn’t already have for chocolate chip cookies. Between the ice cream and the cookies, maybe she’d feel a little better.
Though she’d felt a lift to her spirits initially when she’d seen Dalton, the loneliness from the night before had once again risen to the surface. So yeah, she was feeling down, but Sierra figured she was allowed to wallow in self-pity once in a while. It wasn’t something she did often. Usually, it was only when she had a really bad day at work. Thankfully, this wasn’t caused by a death, but instead, Ethan’s accident on top of her need to adjust to living on her own seemed to just be the perfect storm to take her usually buoyant spirits down.
It was no wonder she was gravitating toward Dalton. He might not fill all the parts of her life that were empty with Danica having married JD, but he filled enough of them to help her feel not so…abandoned. As soon as the word came to mind, Sierra immediately pushed it away. It was a word she refused to entertain. She just didn’t want to allow herself to consider it.
Without thinking, she got into line and was already putting her stuff on the conveyor belt when she remembered she was to have met Dalton first. Pausing, she looked around to see if he’d come to the front of the store. Not seeing him, she took a minute to type him a message that she was already in line and would meet him by the door.
She finished unloading her cart then spoke a bit with the cashier as she rang her purchases through. After paying for everything, she loaded her bags into her cart then pushed it off to the side to wait for Dalton.
Pulling her phone out again, she noticed that Dalton had texted her back.
Dalton: I’m already done and out at the car.
Sierra had absolutely no idea why she was bothered by that. It was just that, all of a sudden, he was doing things differently, and it unsettled her even though she had a pretty good reason for why he was doing it that way.
Pushing her cart outside, Sierra realized that was part of what was bothering her. Dalton’s best friend was coming to town, and suddenly she was being set aside. Just like Danica had set her aside when she and JD had gotten married. Too many people in her life had been willing to set her aside when someone more important came along. Or just because she hadn’t been important enough to them.
Even Ethan had done it to some degree when he’d married Makayla, although that had been less obvious because she’d still been living with him. The two of them had made sure she knew that she was still an important part of their lives.
Maybe, for once, she wanted someone who put her above everyone else. She understood why Danica had done that with JD—they were married after all—and she even understood why Dalton was doing it with Jesse since they’d been best friends for years, and he felt he owed the man his life. She didn't want them to give up what they had, she just wanted the same for herself too.
But was it wrong to want someone to do that for her? Maybe not wrong, but frankly, it was probably going to be unlikely since she’d kept her circle of friends so small and had never tried to date.
Hating that she was quickly sliding in the direction of a pity party, Sierra took a deep breath and blew it out as she looked around for her car. Once she spotted it, she began to push her cart in that direction. The back hatch popped open as she approached, and Dalton got out to meet her.
“Sorry I didn’t text you right away that I was out here,” he said as he helped load her bags into the back. “I thought I’d have enough time to load my groceries, and I didn’t want you to feel too rushed if you knew I was done already.”
“It’s fine,” Sierra said. “I just hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
“Nope. Not at all.” He closed the back hatch then went to climb behind the wheel.
Sierra settled into the passenger seat and put her seatbelt on. She was glad to see that Dalton still appeared confident behind the wheel even though they hadn’t been out driving since Ethan’s accident.
Once again, their conversation was minimal as Dalton drove, and that was just fine with Sierra. After parking in the back lot, they managed to gather all the bags up so they only had to make one trip up the stairs.
“Thanks for taking me along to the store,” Dalton said, smiling at her. “It really helped me out.”
“You’re welcome,” Sierra told him. “I hope the rest of your day goes smoothly.”
“I’m sure it will.” Dalton seemed excited about Jesse’s visit if his smile and upbeat mood were anything to go by. “I’ll let you know when we decide on the dinner.”
; Sierra nodded. “Let me know if I can bring anything.”
“Will do.”
They each went into their apartments, and once again, Sierra was faced with the silence. She should have left the television on.
Before she did anything else, she put on some music through her Bluetooth speakers then set to work putting away her groceries. That didn’t take too long since she hadn’t bought a ton of things, and her kitchen was fairly small.
Once that was done, she sat down on her couch and decided to just put off the rest of her errands for another day. There was nothing that time-sensitive, so she’d just take care of them when she felt more up to it.
As she lay back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with her phone resting on her chest, a thought came to mind that had her picking her phone back up and tapping the app she used for tracking her cycles. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved to discover a possible reason for her mood when she saw that her period was due to arrive in a couple of days, but at least it gave her hope that she wasn’t sinking down into some sort of depression.
She knew from experience that during the week or so before her period, she was much more emotional and sensitive to things that might not normally bother her. If that was the case, then in a few days, she should feel more like her usual self.
As it turned out, it was a good thing she decided to put off her errands since Makayla called to let her know that Ethan was asking to see her. That was great news, so she didn’t delay at all getting herself out of the apartment and into her car.
Hopefully seeing Ethan would lift her out of the self-pitying hole she’d been sliding into because even though she knew the reason for her feeling, that didn’t stop it from happening.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
It was nearly eight o’clock that evening when Dalton finally got back to the apartment with Jesse. Thanks to some storms out east that had left flights in a snarl getting in and out of Toronto, his three o’clock flight had been two hours late. Once he’d deplaned, and they’d collected his luggage, it was nearly six o’clock.
When He Returns Page 24