Asher leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Hey, I know that wolf scared you, but I don't think anyone knew there were wolves around here."
The moment was wickedly comical. Asher, who'd hated Maddox, was almost defending him.
Maddox shook his head and tried to plead with me. "No, Elle, please don't say that."
Part of me wanted to reach out to hug Maddox. I could see he was in pain, but at the same time, he'd caused me more pain than was ever imaginable.
"You need to leave," Asher yelled. "Please, go," I slowly said to Maddox.
Forcing Maddox to leave me when I was hurting killed me, but he was the source of my pain, and I needed him gone.
Hurt filled Maddox's eyes as he looked at me, and I could see he was breaking inside, too. "Elle, I swear I've always protected you. You and I are the same. Please, don't be mad at me," he begged.
I shook my head and took a step away from the circle the three of us had
created. "Maddox,” I said, I can’t see you anymore. Yes, you've protected me, and I'd give up my life for you, but now everything's changed. We may be alike in some strange and twisted way, but we're so different in others. I’d never have lied to you if the roles had been reversed. I’ve told you everything because I loved you that much," I cried.
Tears filled my eyes, making my vision blurry. Even through my pain and anguish, I could still read everything on Maddox's face.
"Loved?" he asked.
All I could do was nod my head. Asher wrapped his arm back around me, becoming the protective shield Maddox had once been for me. Though I was still upset with Asher, I'd expected more from Maddox.
I gently shrugged Asher's arm from my shoulder and smiled at him. "I need to be alone. This is all just a little too much for me. I can't see you," I said, with more strength in my voice than I'd felt.
"Okay," Asher said. "Please call me when you're ready."
I shook my head. A tear escaped from my eyes. "No," I cried, "I can't see you again."
As I took off, I heard Asher yelling my name, calling for me to wait. I knew he didn't understand what was going on, but I had to protect him, too. He probably thought I was insane. I felt insane. A sense of strange bewilderment overtook my body. Though I should have been scared or traumatized by everything I'd discovered that evening, instead, I was empowered. Sure, I was angry and felt like my whole world had just imploded, but now I had something I could use.
Leverage.
Chapter 10
I ran for what felt like an eternity. My pace went from a fast-paced sprint to a steady jog and then a marathon-style walk. I couldn't work the anxiety and dread from my body fast enough.
Lies.
They'd all been telling me lies. I think what hurt worse than anything was the idea that Maddox and Asher had both conspired with my parents against me. Maddox knew how much I trusted him. Asher knew how much I liked him, but now I couldn't be with him anymore. How could they have betrayed me like that?
Though I knew I could run away for a short while, eventually I'd have to go back home to face the people in my life. I wasn't sure how they were going to respond to me now that everything was out in the open, but I knew one thing for sure: I was angry.
I got home way past midnight. My parents were waiting for me, sitting at the kitchen table. Worry lingered on my mom's face. My dad stood beside her looking just as concerned. I was pleased they were also having difficulty with the news.
I needed to know everything about who and what I was becoming, but it wasn't like I could just pull up Google and search how to be a shifter. I was certain there wasn't a search engine online to help me figure out this mess that was now my life.
"Elle," my mom shouted, when she spotted me coming through the front door. She started to stand, but I motioned for her to stay seated.
My dad watched me carefully, never budging from his stance. I tried to imagine my parents as animals or some other creatures of the night, but I just couldn't.
“I’m ready to learn everything," I said, folding my arms across my chest, "but at my own pace and discretion." I knew my behavior was juvenile, but I didn't care. They'd all lied to me for too long, and they deserved a piece of my wrath. "First, I want to know what else is out there," I said, almost afraid to hear the answer. If shifters were real, then what else might there be lurking out there in this world?
My dad cleared his throat and folded his hands in front of him. "Elle, there are others besides shifters. Some shifters turn into werewolves, others can shift into various animal forms, like us. There are also vampires, witches, and other creatures that have yet to be discovered."
I chastised myself inwardly for having asked the question. My childhood nightmares were a reality. I sighed at the realization, unsure if I should ask any more questions, so I urged my parents to begin talking. "When did you first learn you were shifters?" I asked.
"When I first began shifting," my dad began, "I didn't know what to expect. I can only tell you that it's painful and terrifying, but once you change, it's the most glorious and beautiful experience you'll ever have.
"Elle, I can shift into a black crow."
"My body allows me to shift into a fox," my mom said, "a stealthy animal that hunts at night and watches out for other creatures.
"Maddox's family comes from a long line of descendants of werewolves. They shift at night around midnight.
"We won't know what your gift holds until tonight."
"Gift?" I huffed, as I gawked at them. "This is a curse."
"No, Elle, you're wrong. Shifting makes us become one with nature. We're able to experience sights and sounds and places no human can imagine."
"But we're different. There are people hunting us like...animals," I finished.
"Yes. We have to be careful and keep our identities hidden, but you have to embrace this," my dad said.
I realized I wouldn't be able to argue my way out of it, that I just had to shut my mouth and accept that my world would be forever changed.
"You need to know about your own shift," my dad said, running his hands through his hair. "This won't be easy for any of us, but you need to know."
They led me to the back of our shed where I saw a small door I hadn't noticed before. It opened onto a small, dark corridor with a dimly lit room at the end. Inside the room was a cage in the center of it. Inside the cage were restraints and blankets. I shuddered when I realized that was where I was meant to shift for the first time. It looked more like a scene from a horror film, rather than a room behind our garage.
"What's this for?" I asked, fearing I already knew the answer to my question.
"This is where you'll transition and experience your shift for the first time," my dad said, his voice ringing low.
My mom stepped closer to me, placed her arms around my shoulders, and enveloped me in a hug. "Elle, I know this all must be frightening and confusing, but it's the best way. Your first time will be..." She seemed unable to finish her sentence and tears poured from her light gray eyes.
That was when I realized I wasn't the only one hurting, and I backed down with my nasty attitude. "I know this is a lot for all of us,” I explained. I inhaled a sharp breath, mustering all of the courage I could find to say what I did next. 'Tm ready. I need to know everything. This isn't something I can control or stop, so you're right. I need to be prepared." A half-smile made its way to my face.
Maddox stepped down the narrow stairway, his face lit by the small, glowing lights around the room. He looked pained and tired. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, giving away the fact that he hadn't slept much the night before, either.
"Elle, please don't hate me," Maddox said, his voice breaking.
I ran to him, threw myself into his arms, and hugged him fiercely. "I could never hate you, Maddox. I love you," I whispered into his ear. “I’m mad at you for keeping all of this from me." I released my hold around his neck.
Maddox shook his head in agreement, still holding me tightl
y. "Trust me, I never wanted you to find out this way," he said, his eyes darting from dad and back to me.
"Elle, Maddox is right," my dad continued. "He's wanted to tell you ever since he began his transition at fourteen, but we told him not to. I guess that day in the woods, he just couldn't stop himself anymore.
"He told us you were starting to show signs of shifting. We knew the day was approaching; we all shift around our sixteenth birthday. We needed for you to go away for the summer so we could prepare this room and get Maddox ready to help you, too." He patted Maddox on the back.
It wasn't a secret that my parents loved Maddox as if he were their very own son. I knew it must have been hard for them to ask him to hide such monumental information from me.
Maddox took my hands in his and forced me to look him in the eyes. "I swear to you, Elle, I'll be with you every step of the way. As your best friend, it's my job to be there for you," he said. From his tone and the way he looked at me, I knew it wasn't up for discussion.
"I wish you would have told me," I sighed, trying to brace myself.
"I couldn't, Elle, trust me. I wanted to so many times after I'd discovered what I am-what we are. It killed me to keep it a secret from you, but it's against the Evershade Pack Code. You had to discover it on your own," Maddox said, pain lacing each word he spoke.
I understood how difficult it must have been for him. His tone seemed to drip with guilt and anger in the same way blood oozes and drips from a gushing wound.
There was one thing I still needed to know: "Maddox, have you ever told anyone about...what we are? Like other friends or the girls you've dated?"
Maddox shook his head and nearly laughed. "No, we're not allowed to talk about this with anyone outside of our packs. Trust me, there have been I've had to bail on dates, and I wished I could have explained. Especially, with Lacey Flanders-that girl's so hot! I had to leave one night right after she-"
"Well," my dad said, thankfully putting an end to his story, 'Tm sure you can see that we can only share ourselves with those we can trust." He glowered at Maddox.
"I get that, but when will I start to shift?" I asked.
"Anytime, now," my dad answered seriously.
Chapter 11
School had become my sanctuary, where I could drown myself in my books and class work instead of thinking about losing Asher and my new life as a shifter. Though I'd learned to avoid Asher in the halls, I had to sit at the back of the classroom or next to the doorway to keep myself from sitting near him. Word had gotten around that Asher and I had broken up and I hated the constant questions from my friends and looks the other guys gave me.
As I sat in the cafeteria trying to eat my lunch, once again reminding me
that everyone in the school was aware something had changed in my life. They'd mistakenly assumed it had been my relationship with Asher.
"Hey, Elle," Ben Ballard said, pulling a chair up to my table.
I locked eyes with Melanie who was giving me her mischievous smile. Though she liked Asher, she thought I was crazy to sit around and act gloomy in his absence.
"Hi," I replied, continuing to eat my sandwich.
"So, I hear you and that Asher kid broke up," Ben stated, in a cocky tone that sent daggers down my spine.
"Yep," I bit at him.
He put his hand on my shoulder and slowly caressed my arm. The touch alone was enough to make me want to gag, but I also hated the way his eyes watched me like I was his prey to hunt. If he only knew-I was the hunter; I was the beast.
I shook his hand off my arm. "Don't bother touching me; I'm not interested," I said, with a venomous smile.
Ben grabbed my arm and tried to pull me closer to him. Melanie saw and shot out of her seat to help, but she was interrupted by an angry Maddox who flipped our table over, grabbed Ben around the waist, and tackled him to the ground.
Shocked, I fell back into Melanie's arms, and we watched in horror as Maddox punched and clawed at Ben. I noticed his nails extending as a loud, guttural growl escaped from his lips.
The entire cafeteria erupted in loud cheers and screams as the fight wore on.
I screamed Maddox's name, struggling to get his attention. This wasn't just some dumb teenage boy fight-this was an animal attack.
Maddox looked up and locked eyes with me as he once more raised his fist above Ben's face. I reached deep into his soul, pleading with him to stop.
"Not here," I whispered, continuing to stare at him.
If he were to shift at that moment, everything our families and the Evershade Pack had worked so hard to achieve would be ruined.
Maddox unexpectedly dropped his fist to his side and moved slowly away from Ben. He nodded at me in understanding, knowing that what he had done was dangerous.
As he walked away, I watched as Ben-gashes bleeding, clothing torn stumbled over to his friends who helped him out of the cafeteria.
Maddox left and didn't return for the rest of the day. When I tried to talk to him later, he told me it wouldn't happen again and that it was never to be discussed again. As much as I wanted to yell at him, I agreed.
We never mentioned the attack again.
I was working an evening shift the next evening after the unmentionable attack. I was working an evening shift, sitting at the counter waiting for customers to enter and searching the Internet, looking for stores nearby with dresses I might want to check out for the Fall Harvest. Even though I wouldn't be going with Asher anymore, I still wanted to go to hang out with my friends. Music played softly in the background. A few customers were sitting at tables enjoying coffee and tea and eating pastries.
The door chimed, and Maddox walked inside. I didn't bother looking up-he still wasn't on my good side yet, and I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.
"Hey," he said, sitting down in front of me. "Hi," I said, slowly.
"I miss you," Maddox said. He reached across the bar top and took a drink from my coffee, which got my attention. The sadness I'd detected as it dripped from his voice caused my heart to ache. As much as I wanted to be upset with him, I just couldn't stay mad at him for long.
My eyes met his for a moment, but then a set of headlights caught my attention outside of the large window facing the street. It was Asher, driving slowly past the coffee shop, his head turned to the side as he stole a glance inside. My breath faltered, and I stiffened. Having noticed my sudden change, Maddox turned swiftly around to see Asher behind the wheel, and his body tensed. "What is he doing?" Maddox practically spats.
'Tm not sure," I said, watching as Asher continued to drive.
He didn't stop at the corner, which saddened me for some reason.
Maddox patted my hand and tried to comfort me in the only way he knew how.
I squeezed his hand back and offered a slight smile. I needed his affirmation, even though I couldn't admit it to myself More than anything I needed Maddox to tell me everything was going to be alright.
The bell on the door rang again, and I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to deal with any more customers, ex-boyfriends, or the thought of shifting.
"Excuse me," a raspy voice asked, "where is Canyon Road?"
I turned to the door to see an older man wearing a loose flannel shirt and denim jeans. His face was taut and serious, almost angry. He didn't enter the store but continued to stand in the doorway.
"Go straight through town and turn right after the ballparks," Maddox said. He kept his eyes locked on mine and didn't even bother to turn around.
The man nodded but looked at me with an uneasy expression. Something about the way his eyes bore into me made me shiver. Goosebumps rose on the back of my neck. After a few moments, the man turned and left. I stood there; gaze transfixed on the now empty doorway.
"Are you okay?" Maddox asked.
"Yes. That man was just a little odd," I admitted.
Maddox shrugged his shoulders and turned to look, but there was no point; the man had gone.
Something about his smile and
that cold, evil look in his eyes haunted my dreams that night.
Chapter 12
Asher had been trying to call me every hour of every day since I'd broken up with him. I'd avoided him at school by taking the longest routes to my classes and then switching that up once he'd figured out what I was doing. After school, I'd wait in the girls' locker room until he'd finally leave. I hated that I couldn't just sit down and talk to him, but I couldn't say, "Hey, sorry I had to break up with you, but I might turn into a wild animal soon, and I don't want to hurt you."
Nothing I could do or say would ever fix this mess. I was still upset with my parents, and every time I moved my body or had a new sensation, I questioned if that would be the moment I'd shift for the first time. I feared I might shift in the middle of class or during practice. I worried every minute of the day that I somehow, someone would see me while shifting, and I'd either become a target for the hunters or hurt someone. My parents and Maddox were watching me, too, following me around like I was some kind of weird science experiment on which they were waiting for results. I hated being watched. More importantly, I hated that I was no longer in control of my own body, what I did, what I became, or who I was. Being a shifter controlled me. Even the moment I'd become one was out of my hands.
"Why are you still acting so sad?" Maddox asked me. He stuffed another huge bite of pizza into his mouth. He was sitting on the hood of his truck, and I was sitting in a lawn chair in front of him.
The day was beautiful, with a light wind to the already chilly air. Since I wasn't seeing Asher anymore, I spent more and more time walking around like a zombie. Everyone still came by, but I knew my sadness only depressed those around me.
"Are you seriously asking me that?" I asked, throwing my pizza crust at him.
"Yes, I am. I don't understand you. First, you discover you're a shifter-which, I might add, is totally awesome, and then you get rid of that dope you were dating. If you ask me, you should be smiling and running around here like crazy." He picked up the piece of crust I'd just thrown at him and took a bite.
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