by Sarah Noffke
“Right,” Sophia agreed, appreciating how peaceful the children were.
She didn’t have long to admire them because they were interrupted by thundering footsteps. Sophia turned to find Hiker Wallace marching in their direction.
“Who is this?” he shouted down the hallway, not just waking the baby in the carriage but also all the dead in the graveyard on the Gullington.
He stopped in front of them and looked Rudolf up and down. “I don’t remember asking you to invite a fae into the Castle. The exception was given to—”
“I know,” Sophia interrupted. “I asked King Sweetwater to come along with my sister because I need his help on something related to helping Quiet.”
“Then where is your sister?” Hiker asked, looking around like Liv might be hiding behind the statue of the suit of armor.
“Oh, she has indigestion from the nachos and had to stop off to get antacids,” Rudolf explained. “She will be here shortly because let’s be honest. Wherever Liv is, she will be short, just like little Sophia. In the meantime, could I get a vodka soda?”
Hiker stared at the king of the fae with wide eyes.
“Right,” Sophia said and stepped between the two men. She thought Hiker might punch Rudolf in the face even if he was wearing two infants. “Actually, Rudolf, this is Hiker Wallace, the leader of the Dragon Elite.”
Rudolf gave her an uncertain look like she was playing a joke on him. He pointed at the tall Viking. “This man? Are you sure?”
Sophia nodded and wondered if Hiker would punch her first just to get to Rudolf.
“He is not the butler for this little place?” Rudolf asked.
“We don’t have a butler,” Hiker said, a low growl in his voice.
“Oh, well, that is too bad,” Rudolf consoled. “How very quaint this place is. How did you get it to look so old? It almost looks as real as the Excalibur hotel and casino in Las Vegas.”
“It is old,” Hiker snarled through clenched teeth.
“Yeah, so is my Excalibur hotel. The fae had it built about thirty years ago if you can believe it. I think it’s time it gets a makeover. I would love the name of your contractor.”
Hiker’s face turned bright red. “This Castle is over one-thousand years old.”
“Oh, well, then it’s definitely in need of a makeover.” Rudolf whistled. “I can give you the name of my guy. He is a bit pricey, and I think he has a gambling addiction, but who doesn’t?”
Hiker put his attention firmly on Sophia. “Don’t make me regret allowing your people into the Castle.”
Right on cue, all three babies started wailing, their cries echoing through the corridor.
Hiker clapped his hands to his ear. “What is that?”
Rudolf looked around, searching for the noise. “I’m not sure, Walker. What are you referring to?”
“I think he is talking about the Captains crying,” Sophia explained. “Are they hungry?”
Rudolf thought for a moment. “Oh, probably not. I just fed them.” He leaned in and whispered loudly in Sophia’s ear. “I think it’s his beard. They don’t like facial hair.”
Hiker pivoted, giving Sophia a murderous glare. “Let’s hope your other friends don’t make me want to kill them. If they do, you are burying the bodies.”
“Copy that, sir,” Sophia said, watching the leader of the Dragon Elite stomp back in the direction of his office.
The babies were whining so loudly it made Sophia squint. “Do you need help?”
“With what?” Rudolf asked, looking around.
“With the Captains.”
“Oh, well, Captain Morgan doesn’t like to be touched, so don’t pick her up.” He pointed to the baby in the carriage. “Captain Kirk can’t stand puns, so don’t say any around her. She really can’t stand Liv even if she is her godmother.” He pointed to the baby on his back. “And here is Captain Silver. She doesn’t like to be looked at directly, hence the reason she is on my back.”
“Well, besides their dislikes, is there something they do enjoy that will calm them?” Sophia queried over the incessant noise.
Rudolf thought for a moment. “They like the Kardashians. Where’s the television?”
Sophia shook her head. “This shouldn’t take long. I have a question.”
“You what?” Rudolf yelled, having trouble hearing her over the three babies’ cries.
“I wanted to know if—”
“What is a whadatif?” Rudolf hollered to be heard over the noise.
Sophia shook her head. “No, I’m trying to ask you if—”
“You are going to have to speak up!”
Mama Jamba stormed out of her room, giving them a dirty look as she approached. The babies all silenced immediately.
“Oh, Mama Jamba, your presence makes the babies quiet,” Sophia said with relief.
She shook her head. “No, it makes them scared for their lives. I was trying to take a nap, you know.”
“I didn’t know,” Rudolf introduced himself, smiling wide, his blue eyes twinkling. He held out a hand to her. “I’m King Rudolf Sweetwater, ruler of the fae.”
“I’m Mother Nature, creator of this planet,” Mama Jamba replied, not taking his hand.
Rudolf elbowed Sophia in the side. “Some people just have to one-up others.”
“Mama Jamba,” Sophia begged, ignoring Rudolf. “I need you to stay right here while I chat with the king. Can you do that?”
Mama Jamba shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t. I need to wash my hair. It’s Thursday.”
As the old woman began to walk off, the babies started to whine again.
“But Mama Jamba,” Sophia called to her retreating back. “Can you just give us a minute. Maybe hold one of the babies.”
Sharply, Mama Jamba turned. “I don’t hold babies, dear.”
“But you are Mother Nature,” Sophia argued.
“Exactly!” Mama Jamba agreed, turning and striding off.
Sophia sighed and grimaced as the babies all cried in different octaves.
“She seems like a lot of fun,” Rudolf commented, not bothered by the constant noise. “A bit of a showoff, but I respect that. Now you had a question for me.”
“Yeah,” Sophia began. “I was hoping you could—”
“Can you speak up?” Rudolf yelled, bouncing up and down and patting Captain Kirk’s back.
Feeling rather irritated and ready to kick the fae out of the Castle, Sophia opened her mouth to try again, but then she remembered. Mae Ling had given her a pouch earlier. She dug into her cloak and pulled out the mysterious sack.
She pulled open the drawstrings and yanked out three small pacifiers and a note.
It read:
For little ones whose father is too dimwitted to shush his face so they can sleep peacefully. Give them these, and they will be fast asleep no matter the interruption.
“Brilliant,” Sophia said, sticking the note back in the bag before Rudolf could read it.
She popped the pacifiers into each of the children’s mouths, and they silenced immediately.
Breathing out a sigh of relief, Sophia allowed herself to enjoy the peace and quiet for a moment before looking at Rudolf.
“Okay,” she said, drawing out the word, worried the babies might start back up any moment. “I have a question for you.”
“Forty-two,” Rudolf said at once.
“No,” Sophia barked, her tolerance for his antics dangerously low. “I am looking for something, and I’m not sure why, but I heard you would know where it is.”
Rudolf nodded like he knew what she was talking about. “Yeah. The fountain of youth. Your sister destroyed it because she is a real killjoy.”
The portal in the closet connected to the House of Fourteen opened, and Warrior Liv Beaufont stepped into the Castle.
She crossed her arms, glaring at Rudolf. “What did you call me? And who is taking care of your babies when I kill you?”
Chapter Sixty-Seven
; “Well, you naturally,” Rudolf exclaimed at the sight of Liv. “You are their godmother. When I die, you will have them.”
Liv shook her head at Rudolf. “You have figured out the perfect way to keep me from murdering you. Well played, Ru.”
Sophia hugged her sister, having her there so surreal. In the Castle! The one place she had wanted to share with her family. She never thought this moment would come, and here it was.
Liv’s eyes widened as she lifted her chin, staring around in awe as she took in the corridor. “This place is amazing. Clark is going to love it. He’ll be through shortly.”
“Oh!” Sophia said. “Then I only have a bit to ask my question of Rudolf.”
“Yeah, this should be good,” Liv said, tapping her foot and looking between Sophia and Rudolf. “You need to learn how to get gum out of your hair or a marble out of your nose? Rudolf has learned the answer to both of those questions, and he doesn’t even have toddlers yet, so you can guess who he was practicing on.”
Rudolf’s eyes slid to the side, embarrassed. “The peanut butter made my hair shiny.”
Sophia cleared her throat. “Okay, I will make this fast. I need to know where a hat is, and I heard you know, Ru. It belonged to a male gnome who was captain of a ship. I don’t know what his name was, and I don’t know what his son’s name was either…”
Sophia suddenly felt very shortsighted. She had questions but didn’t know the most important details to give to obtain the answers. How was she going to get Rudolf to help her if she didn’t even know what Quiet or his father’s name was? There had to be tons of gnomes who were captains of sailing ships.
“Um…” Sophia stuttered and caught the concerned look in Liv’s eyes. “It’s a hat that…ugh. Why don’t I know his name?”
“Paul, George, Frank,” Rudolf said, listing off different names.
“No, it’s a gnome’s name,” Sophia stated.
“Gillian, Ramy, George,” Rudolf offered.
“No, that is the thing,” Sophia began. “I don’t know what his name is. I don’t even know what his son’s name is, which is what I’m trying to figure out.”
Rudolf rubbed his fingers over his stubbled chin, a speculative look in his eyes. “You don’t know a name but need to learn it. I think we can narrow this down. How about Graham, Dale, or George?”
Liv shook her head at the fae before offering Sophia a sympathetic expression. “What else can you tell us about this captain?”
“Well, I’m specifically looking for this captain’s hat,” Sophia explained. “His son sailed a ship called the McAfee and apparently, according to the Queen Mother of the fae—”
“OH, DEAR!” Rudolf yelled, his voice echoing loudly in the Castle.
Thankfully, he didn’t wake the babies. The magical pacifiers Mae Ling had given Sophia were doing their job.
“What?” Sophia asked, her heart beating fast. “Do you know who I’m talking about?”
He nodded adamantly. “And I know the name of the gnome that sailed the McAfee.”
“You do?” Sophia nearly jumped up and down. Things were finally coming together. She wouldn’t even have to get the hat. Apparently, all she had to do was know about it and ask King Rudolf. Of course, the fae was the key to her learning Quiet’s real name. “What is his name?”
Rudolf smiled wide. “It is Captain Quiet.”
Sophia deflated at once.
Liv saw her disappointment and shook her head. “No, I don’t think that is his real name.”
“Really?” Rudolf questioned. “Are you sure? That is what the fae have always called him. He is legendary in our history.”
“Because he rescued fae, saving your race,” Sophia supplied.
Rudolf nodded. “Yeah, there was that. When his ship sailed my ancestors to safe lands, they were still considered very poor, which is pretty much worse than death. Fae don’t do well when they don’t have any money.”
“Such simple people,” Liv said, shaking her head.
“Anyway, word had spread about the gnome who sacrificed himself to save those on the McAfee,” Rudolf continued. “Captain Quiet became a legend. Although the crew of his ship refused to change a thing about the McAfee, they did give Quiet’s most prized possession to the leader of the fae at the time, Queen Visa.”
Liv shook her head. “More like a witch than a queen, but whatever.”
Queen Visa had been the ruler of the fae before Rudolf. He’d had to kill her to take the crown, but that wasn’t why he did it. It had been more of an act of self-preservation since the evil queen was trying to kill him and Liv.
Rudolf gave Liv a commiserating expression. “Yeah, but she wasn’t always horrible. Back then, Queen Visa was trying to help the fae prosper. She took the captain’s hat, Quiet’s most prized possession, as a gift from the crew and sold it. The money from that transaction became a pivotal moment in the fae’s history. It was the money that started our empire, making us the wealthiest race of all. Since then, we’ve all looked down on the rest of you impoverished souls with pity while lavishing in our enormous riches.”
Liv shook her head, glaring at Rudolf. “Soph, are you overwhelmed by his humility?”
“It’s about to bowl me over,” Sophia answered before returning her attention to Rudolf. “Are you saying you know where the captain’s hat is?”
“Of course, I do,” Rudolf exclaimed.
“Can you tell me?” Sophia asked.
“Of course, I can’t,” he answered.
Sophia lowered her chin, giving him a murderous expression. “Are you serious?”
“Soph, that is the most prized possession of the fae,” Rudolf answered. “It’s a secret of our race. If others knew, they might want to steal it.”
“That is exactly what I want to do,” Sophia told him.
He shook his head. “I can’t allow you to steal Captain McAfee’s hat.”
Sophia sighed. “Quiet’s father’s name was McAfee. That is why he named his boat that.”
Liv let out an irritated breath. “Ru, you are going to tell my sister where to get that hat, or I’m going to kill you and raise your children to believe the Earth is round.”
A loud gasp fell out of his mouth. “You wouldn’t?”
“I would,” Liv fired back.
“But everyone knows it’s flat,” Rudolf argued.
“Impressionable young babies will believe whatever their godmother tells them,” Liv warned.
Rudolf seemed to consider this for a moment before resigning. “Fine, I will help you, Sophia, but you can’t keep the hat.”
She nodded, hopeful once more. “That is fine. I just need to borrow it for a bit. Are you sure you know where it is located?”
Rudolf scoffed at her. “Captain Quiet and his father are legendary to me. I mean, why do you think I named my children after those gnomes?”
Sophia almost burst out with laughter. She hadn’t seen that one coming, but it made perfect sense. “You named your girls Captain because Quiet sacrificed himself for your race? That is brilliant.”
“Did you hear that, Liv?” Rudolf asked. “Your sister says I’m brilliant.”
“I think she was saying the situation was brilliant,” Liv argued. “Now, where is this captain’s hat?”
“It’s in the Fae’s National Museum of History,” Rudolf told them.
“I have never heard of it,” Sophia said.
“You wouldn’t have because you are not a fae,” Rudolf explained.
“Obviously,” Sophia remarked. “Where is it located? How do I get in there?”
“I can’t tell you where it is,” Rudolf answered. “And you can’t get in there because you are not a fae.”
Liv let out a long breath as she lowered her chin. “Ru, round Earth education…”
He rolled his eyes at her. “Okay, fine. I can’t tell you where it’s located though. I will betray my race a little bit but telling you where our National History Museum is would be going too far.”
“Okay, but can you at least take me there?” Sophia asked.
“Fine,” Rudolf agreed.
“And you will help her get in there too,” Liv demanded.
“I don’t know how to do that.” Rudolf shook his head.
A single murderous glare from Liv was all it took.
“B-B-But I’m sure I can figure something out,” Rudolf stammered.
“And you will help her steal the captain’s hat,” Liv ordered.
Looking quite defeated, Rudolf nodded. “Yeah, I will do all that, but only on one condition…” He batted his eyes at Liv.
“What?” she growled.
“I will need you to watch the Captains while I take your sister on this excursion,” Rudolf answered.
Sophia could see the hesitation on Liv’s face.
“I don’t know,” she began. “I have got a lot of cases, and there is that whole not wanting to be around babies thing. How about their mother takes care of them?”
Rudolf shook his head. “No, Serena needs twelve hours of sleep a day and says the Captains don’t respect that. The only person I trust them with is you, Liv.”
“Please,” Sophia said, drawing out the word, her hands clasped together as she begged her sister.
Liv seemed to be wavering before she finally acquiesced. “Fine, only for you, though, Soph.”
“Yes!” Sophia exclaimed, grateful to finally be making progress. All she had to do was go on a secret mission with the king of the fae and steal their most prized possession from a museum where she wasn’t allowed. What could possibly go wrong?
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Sophia and Rudolf didn’t have a chance to continue their discussion about their covert mission to steal Captain McAfee’s hat because they were interrupted by the portal door to the House of Fourteen opening.
“Clarky!” Sophia yelled when her older brother stepped through into the Castle.
She threw her arms around her brother, grateful to see him. It felt like it had been a long time, although it really hadn’t. Sophia had just been through so much since the last time she had been around her sibling.