by B. B. Hamel
“You’d want me to… come?” She shook her head. “That’s insane.”
“You wouldn’t come inside.”
“Luca. There’s no way.”
“You’d be safe,” I said. “I promise you that. I won’t ever put you in harm’s way, Clair.”
She opened her mouth to speak then let out a breath instead. She pulled at her hair, straightening it over and over again, chewing on her cheek.
“Do you think this would help?” she asked. “I mean, if you did this… would I be able to go home?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “But the more Jalisco we kill, the fewer there are to hurt you.”
She groaned and shook her head. “I can’t be a part of you… killing people.”
“Listen, little girl,” I said. “I killed a guy for you just the other day. You didn’t try to stop me then.”
“That was different,” she said. “And stop calling me that.”
“How’s it different?”
“He came for me first. You were… protecting me.”
“Killing these guys is protecting you.” I shook my head and gave her a sharp look. The girl clearly didn’t get it, not even close. She didn’t know how this worked. “The Jalisco are going to come after you, over and over again. It’s just a matter of time before they find this place. We’ve been lucky so far, we haven’t had too many people over. But soon you’ll have to meet with lawyers, you’ll have to go out and sign shit, you’ll have to live your life. When you do, the Jalisco will be waiting.”
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She let out this frustrated growl that sent a shiver down my spine.
“I hate this,” she said.
“I know you do.” I stood up and loomed over her, staring down at her pretty face. “But we can’t just hide forever. Sooner or later, you’ve got to do something.”
“Can’t I just give it all away?” she whispered. “Give you all the money. Then I can be free.”
“Doubt it,” I said. “But I’ll take it, if you’re offering.”
She sighed and shook her head. “No, you’ll just waste it.”
“On what?”
“Peking duck. I bet you’ll buy Hog out of his stash and hoard it all for yourself.”
I grinned at her. “You know me too well already.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed, ran a hand through her hair, and seemed to really struggle for a moment. “Fine, call up the Don. See what he says.”
“So I have your permission then?”
“You have my permission to call my uncle.” She shook her head and walked to the door then into the living room. “You don’t have my permission for anything else.”
“You’re going to have so much fun,” I said loudly as she walked across the living room then to the stairs. “Just you wait, little girl. You’re going to be a mafia princess soon enough.”
“Stop calling me that!” she yelled from the staircase.
I laughed as she stomped her way up then slammed her door shut.
12
Clair
I hid out in my room for the rest of the day, struggling with my decision.
I just told Luca he can go kill a bunch of men. I gave him that permission, all because I’m a coward.
I’m afraid of the Jalisco. I’m terrified of what they might do to me, terrified they’ll find me and hurt me, and I’m willing to unleash Luca and the rest of the mafia on them if it means saving myself.
I’m a hypocrite.
I know it, I can see it plain as day. It stared me back in the face all afternoon as I rolled around in bed, staring at my phone, trying to distract myself with TikTok memes and stupid Reddit posts.
But I just kept coming back to one simple truth.
I was willing to kill if it meant saving myself.
So how was I any different from Luca?
Around noon, there was a knock on my door. I got out of bed, shuffled over and opened it up, expecting to see Luca standing there.
Instead, I found a small plate of duck, some rice, some vegetables, and a little note.
You don’t have to hide, but at least hide in style. -L
I couldn’t help but smile.
What a freaking weird mobster.
One second, he’s talking about killing men. Then the next, he’s feeding me, like he really does want to take care of me.
I took the food into my room, shut the door quietly, and ate sitting on the edge of my bed.
Maybe he was right. Maybe I was giving him a hard time.
My life hadn’t been so hard. I had my mother, after all, and we had money from my father. Even though he got killed when I was young, and my mother essentially wrote off the rest of the family, we were comfortable. I didn’t have to struggle.
I couldn’t begin to understand what Luca went through.
But then again, no matter what, that didn’t excuse turning into a killer for the mob. I just couldn’t excuse it.
All afternoon, I went back and forth like that. One second, I wanted to understand him, and almost felt like I could become him if given similar choices.
Then the next, I wanted to scream at him, wanted to shout at him.
Then the next, I wanted him to strip me down, kiss my neck, and truly, really, finally take care of me.
It was maddening.
That night, I finally had enough and emerged from my room. I put on a pair of jeans and a button-down white and black polka dot blouse, pulled my hair into some semblance of shape, and went downstairs.
Only to find Luca standing near the front window, peering out between the curtains.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Don’s on his way,” he said.
“Right now?”
He nodded. “Coming to talk about the Jalisco. And what our next moves are.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling numb. “I, uh, why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head. “Just found out myself.” He turned back from the window and frowned in my direction. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, looking away from him, remembering the way it felt when he’d kissed me.
“You don’t have to make any decisions, you know,” he said. “The Don will do that for you.”
I began to pace around the living room. “It’s not that simple,” I said. “You’re used to killing people. I just… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you want to hurt the men… that want to hurt you.” He shook his head and let a breath out. “Come on, Clair. You’re still doing this?”
I stopped pacing and threw up my hands. “Stop acting like I’m being a silly child.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You’re looking at me like you think I’m a moron.”
He made an exasperated grunt and waved me away. “Come on. That’s bullshit. I don’t think you even believe it.”
“That, right there. It’s dismissive.”
“Fine,” he said, crossing his arms. “You want to talk about this for real?”
“Yeah, I really do.”
“I think you’re lucky as hell,” he said. “You live in a world where you don’t have to worry about making these decisions. You have your pretty little insulated life, all safe and comfortable with your loving mother, and you’ve never had to think about hurting someone before they get a chance to hurt you.”
“Why is it all about how we grew up with you?” I asked.
“Because that matters more than you’re willing to admit.” I could see a hint of anger in his eyes. “You had it easy, little princess. Losing a father is hard, but losing everything? You have no clue what that’s like.”
“If you want me to feel sorry for you, it’s not going to happen.”
He snorted and made a face. “I don’t want your pity,” he said. “I just want you to be realistic. The Jalisco want to kill you, Clair. Or at least they want to take you captive and torture you until you give them everything they want. These are
not kind men, these are not gentle, nice men. If you think I’m a monster, then you’ll be truly terrified of what they’re willing to do for their cartel.”
“So I should compromise then?” I asked. “I should just accept that the Leone family isn’t so bad and order a bunch of men killed for my own selfish gain?”
“Pretty much,” he said.
“I’m tired of arguing with you,” I said. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“And you’re spoiled.” He shook his head and looked out the window like he was sick of me. “You’re just spoiled.”
I stood there, so angry I could barely believe it. I spread out my arms and wanted to yell at him, to call him an asshole, to try and get him to see that he was talking about taking human lives like they were nothing. But I knew that was never going to happen or change.
Luca and I were just too different.
“He’s here,” he said, his voice flat. “Best behavior.”
“Best behavior? I’m not some teenager you get to order around.”
He glanced back at me, his face slack and tired. “Then stop acting like one,” he said. “And start seeing the world for what it is, Clair. This is a fucked-up place and no amount of your convenient morality’s going to change that.”
There was a knock at the door then it pushed open. The bald man named Roberto came in first, glanced around the room, his eyes lingering on me for only a moment like I was a piece of furniture before landing on Luca. He stepped inside and crossed his arms as Uncle Luciano came in next, limping with his cane, wearing a comfortable cream sweater and a pair of khaki slacks.
“Good evening, good evening,” he said amiably. “How are you two doing this fine night?”
“I’m doing well, thank you, Don,” Luca said.
“And how are you, Clair?”
“I’m fine,” I said, turning my head away.
“Ah, I sense some tension.” Uncle Luciano chuckled. “Did we interrupt something?”
“No, Don, not at all,” Luca said. “Your niece here simply has some moral quandaries with what we do for a living.”
I looked back at Uncle Luciano, meeting his gaze. I refused to let myself be intimidated, even if he was one of the most terrifying men in the world.
“If she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure she’s been making sure you know exactly how she feels,” Uncle Luciano said with a soft chuckle. “Strong-willed women run in this family.”
“That’s one way of putting it, sir,” Luca said.
Uncle Luciano limped over toward the big, brown easy chair and lowered himself down into it with a sigh. He gestured at the couch and met my gaze. I hesitated then walked over and sat. Luca joined me, sitting close enough that his thigh touched mine. I wanted to push him away, but instead I sat still with my back straight and my eyes staring ahead.
“All right then, Luca,” Uncle Luciano said. “I understand you have a plan to take the fight to the Jalisco.”
“Steven brought it to me,” Luca said. “He heard of a safe house near Temple University. He thinks it might be a good spot to hit, might send them the right message.”
Uncle Luciano nodded. “I see, and I can understand why you might think that.”
“The girl is the real issue, sir,” Luca said. “I don’t want to leave her here, but I also don’t want Steven to make the hit without me. There might be important information there.”
“You want my permission to bring her along?”
“That’s right, sir.”
Uncle Luciano nodded his head and let out a grunt. “I see,” he said. “And what do you think of this plan, Clair?”
I stared at him for a moment, trying to see past his fake kindly grandfather exterior. “I don’t want people to die because of me,” I said.
Uncle Luciano snorted and shook his head. “Dear, they’re going to die whether you choose to allow Luca to go along or not. I’m going to hit that safe house one way or another. I would prefer it if Luca went along, since he has a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but I won’t force you into it.”
I looked from my uncle to Luca then back again. I shifted in my seat, trying to move my leg away from Luca’s, not trusting myself to touch him, not even a little bit.
“Is this really something we have to do?” I asked.
“It’ll help you,” Luca said, his voice low. “And I want to make sure you’re safe.”
“And you’re going to do it anyway,” I said. “Even if I say no, you’ll just send someone else.”
“That’s right,” Uncle Luciano said.
I stared at Luca then, looked into his dark, handsome eyes, at his full lips, and remembered the taste of him, the feel of him pressed up against me.
I had to look away. My heart raced, my hands trembled.
“Fine,” I said. “If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”
“Great,” Uncle Luciano said. “I’m glad we got this cleared up.”
I wanted to puke. I stared at the floor and shook, my mind spinning, my body light and dizzy. I knew I just made a choice, just crossed a line that I’d never be able to come back from, and it made me sick to my stomach.
But I couldn’t stop Luca. If he wanted to go and kill those men, I couldn’t stop him, not really.
And the truth is, some part of me hoped that Luca would do better, that he’d choose better. Some part me wanted him to decide on his own what was right and wrong, and that he’d want to stay home, want to avoid going out and getting into some unnecessary gunfight with men he didn’t even know.
It didn’t matter that they were trying to kill me, or capture me, or whatever it was they wanted.
I knew what was right and what was wrong.
“Now, we have one more thing to discuss,” Uncle Luciano said. “And truthfully dear, this is the real reason I came all the way out here.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The matter of Fazio’s estate,” he said. “You’ll be signing some papers in the next few days. I have bank accounts set up in your name ready to accept the funds. My understanding is that this will be a substantial amount of money, and you’ll likely be very financially settled for the rest of your life, if you choose to do nothing but invest it wisely. I will put you in touch with my financial advisors and get a portfolio started for you, if that’s something you’d like.”
I nodded slowly and cleared my throat. “Ah, uh, yes, thank you,” I said. “I guess…. I should invest some of it. Right?” I glanced at Luca, but his face was flat and stony.
“Right,” Uncle Luciano said. “And for all this, I only ask one small payment.”
I went still and I noticed that Luca sat up straighter, like he was surprised. “Payment?” I asked.
Uncle Luciano spread his hands. “My dear, you can’t possibly think I’d give you all this out of the goodness of my heart? You and your mother spurned me, spurned the family. I’m a forgiving man, but I’m not stupid.”
“I thought… you just… I thought you just wanted to help.”
“I want property,” he said. “Three particular buildings in downtown Chicago. They are very expensive buildings, worth a lot of money, and I suspect they’ll only increase in value. I want to start a new wing of the Leone family out in Chicago, and I want these buildings to be the center of that new nexus of power. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” I said. “But I don’t know…”
“You don’t know what?” Uncle Luciano asked. “If you can pay me for my services? I can simply release you now, if you’d prefer. My understanding is that you already tried to get away once, and Luca here had to save your life. I wonder how you’d do without him around.”
Luca leaned forward. “Don, I believe she’s just surprised,” he said. “She didn’t expect this.”
Uncle Luciano held up a hand and gave Luca a frosty glare. “Don’t speak again,” he said, then looked at me. “This property is a fair trade. You give me these buildings, and I’
ll make sure the rest of the money ends up in your hands, and I’ll even provide as much protection as you need.”
I leaned back and tried to keep calm. So this was what he wanted all along. This was the long game finally coming out. I knew it was going to be something, knew he wouldn’t just help me out of the goodness of his heart, but I wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted.
Now I knew. He wanted property, real estate, so he can start a new crime family in another city.
That bastard.
They’re all the same. They just want to use me. He’s not much better than the Jalisco, the only difference is he doesn’t need to torture me to get what he wants out of me.
“Two buildings,” I said. “Whichever two are worth less. I keep the best one.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I didn’t know this was a negotiation.”
“You want that property,” I said. “And I have a feeling you’ll bargain for it. Two buildings is better than none.”
“You’d be dead without me, girl,” he said, his voice lower and harsher than it had been a moment before.
“Probably,” I said. “What do you say?”
He glared at me, his expression cold and angry. I met his gaze and tried not to show how fast my heart beat in my chest.
Finally, he stood up. “Deal,” he said. “You have balls, niece, I’ll give you that. I suppose you get it from my side of the family and I shouldn’t be too surprised.”
“Thank you,” I said, leaning back, my voice softer and weaker than I had hoped.
Uncle Luciano limped across the living room, back toward the front door. Roberto opened it up and held it for him.
“Now, go take care of our Jalisco problem,” Uncle Luciano said. “And make sure you don’t give Luca any trouble. At the end of all this, I suspect we’re all going to be very rich and very happy.”
Uncle Luciano limped out the door and onto the porch. Roberto gave me a dirty, disgusted look, then followed my uncle outside, slamming the door behind him.
I sat in silence next to Luca for nearly a minute before he turned to me and put a hand on my knee.