by B. B. Hamel
He looked pained for a second. “No, I’m saying it wrong. I mean… I love you. All this fighting, all this effort and fear and pain and killing… I did it all because I love you.”
I took a long, deep breath, and felt the world drop out beneath me.
“I love you too,” I said.
He leaned forward and kissed me.
I melted into that kiss. I couldn’t help myself. I felt dizzy and stupid and breathless.
I fell in love with a killer. I fell in love with the father of my unborn child.
And he loves me back.
I knew he did, at least on some level. He went further than I thought possible to try to protect me. That counted for something.
That counted for everything.
He broke the kiss off and let his hands linger on my hips.
“I hate to do this, but I have to ask you something,” he said.
I smiled and felt numb. My lips buzzed with his taste. “What?”
“I have to leave the city.”
I tilted my head. “You do?”
“Don Leone won’t let me stay here.” His voice was gentle like velvet but the words stung. “I could keep killing the men he sent after me, but sooner or later I’ll make a mistake, or he’ll send someone better than me, or I’ll get arrested and sent to prison. I can’t stay in Philadelphia, Elise. And I want you to leave with me.”
“Leave the city,” I said. “I never… this is my home.”
“I know.” He looked into my eyes and clutched my hips harder. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”
I sucked in a breath and slowly let it out. “I’ll lose my job. I don’t know what I’ll do. Where would we even go?”
“Anywhere you want,” he said. “Europe, Asia. California. Texas.”
“Seattle,” I said.
He hesitated then laughed. “Seattle?”
“I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“Okay, Seattle. If that’s what you want, that’s where we’ll go.”
“Seattle.” I chewed on my cheek and looked away. “You know I’m going to have this baby wherever we end up, right?”
“I know,” he said.
“And you can’t… you’ll have to…”
“Get a real job?” He tilted my chin toward him. “I know. Don’t worry. I have some ideas.”
“This is going to be hard.”
“But worth it.” He kissed my cheek, my ear, my neck, my lips. “So fucking worth it.”
I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck.
God, he was right.
It was going to be worth it.
Maybe we’d have to start over. But we could start over in a city I’ve always wanted to live in. We’d start over with new jobs, new lives, a new baby. My father would be on the other side of the country. Don Leone wouldn’t be able to touch us out there.
We’d be free to have a life.
“Let’s do it,” I whispered once he broke the kiss off.
“Good.” He let go of my hips then took my hand in his. “Come on. Let’s go pack.”
“I guess I’ll call my boss and quit.”
“Have you thought about what you want to name the baby?” he asked as he opened the door and stepped into the hall.
“Elise if it’s a girl,” I said.
“And if it’s a boy?”
“Elliot.”
He laughed and made a face. “Okay, that’s a start. But I think we have a lot to discuss.”
I held onto his arm and leaned closer. “What makes you think you have a say?”
He just laughed and kissed my hair as we walked down the hall toward the elevator bank, toward our future, toward our baby and our new life together.
30
Elise
Two Years Later
I sat on the porch with my feet up on a small wooden table. I rocked back and forth as I watched the rain fall on the street. Cars lined the avenue and an older woman with a black umbrella and a little white dog walked past. I waved to her and she just scowled.
“Lovely day,” I said.
She walked faster.
“Friendly,” I muttered to myself and put my hands behind my head. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I listened to the rain pattering against the porch roof, the rain sliding down the gutters, the rain hitting the pavement.
It was the kind of peace I’d never known before.
“You look happy.”
I opened one eye. Tanner stood in the front door wearing a tight black shirt over jeans. His muscular arms were crossed over his fit chest. He looked exactly the same as he did the day I met him, except his eyes were softer, his smile a little bit easier.
“How’s Julian?” I asked.
“Sleeping,” he said. “Just put him down.”
“I hope he has a better nap today. I swear that tooth is going to cut through any second.”
“He’s been in a good mood today.” Tanner said. “I just wish his mother felt the same.”
I gave him a flat look as he took the chair next to mine. He grinned at me and stretched out his legs.
“You know why I’m cranky,” I said.
“Have you made a decision?”
“Not yet. It’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is. You either want to take the job or not.”
“You came out here and managed to fall into a high-paying, comfortable job with no effort. Meanwhile, I’ve been mostly a stay-at-home mom trying to get my life back together. It’s not that easy for most of us.”
He reached out and touched my knee. “Take the job,” he said. “You’ll be happy.”
“But I’m not sure if I can be away from Julian that much.”
“Julian will be fine. He needs a mom that’s not tearing her hair out every day worrying about the future.”
I looked out at the street and took his hand in mine. Two weeks ago, my old boss called me up out of the blue and offered me a new job in my old role. She moved out to the West Coast six months ago and she was in the process of setting up a new office. I’d be a remote worker, but it was a full-time position with a good salary. We could afford to put Julian in daycare without any issues and still come out ahead.
I just didn’t know if I was ready for that.
“I’m thinking,” I said.
“Okay, but just so you know, whatever you decide is okay with me. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I know that.” I smiled at him and leaned over. He kissed me and touched my cheek with his fingertips.
“You know I love you, right?”
“You tell me every day.”
“Just need to make sure you hear it.”
I leaned back. “Is this what it’s like?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Having a normal life. Is this what it’s like?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I spent half my life living alone and killing people for a living. Now I’m a pharma sales rep and I sell drugs to doctors.”
“So you’re still killing people.”
He snorted. An old joke, but we always laughed at it.
“It’s been an adjustment,” he said. “But I think things are coming together. And I think I’m starting to get used to all the quiet.”
“Yeah, me too.” I chewed my lip and laughed. “When we first moved here, I was so afraid we’d end up homeless and struggling.”
“Instead, we live in this big, green pea soup-colored monstrosity.”
“You love it. We have a tower.”
“Victorian was never my style. Remember my apartment back in Philly?”
“I remember. It was Patrick Bateman meets Marie Kondo.”
“The perfect combination,” he said with a dramatic sigh.
I laughed and stood up. “I should get the monitor.”
“Stay out here,” he said, getting up. “I’ll grab it. You just think, okay?”
I gave him a look. “You don’t have to do that.”
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“Do what?”
“Go out of your way to be nice.”
He hesitated. “Just stay here for a second, okay?”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But bring it out.”
He nodded and headed inside.
I sat back down to watch the rain. I wondered about Julian’s tooth, about whether I should take that job or not, about a hundred mundane things. My life was a series of small worries, and it was almost a relief that I didn’t have to think about the big things anymore.
No more mafia. No more killing. My father was long gone. I hadn’t heard from him since the day we left Philly, and I had no interest in finding out if the peace deal Tanner brokered held or not.
I just didn’t care.
Tanner came back a couple minutes later. He handed me the small white monitor and I turned it on. Julian appeared in black and white, lying in his crib, scrunched up in the corner.
“He’s so cute when he—” I stopped as I looked up at Tanner. He was kneeling down in front of me, a smile on his lips. “What are you doing?”
He took a black box from his pocket. “I’ve been meaning to do this for a while,” he said. “The moment never seems right. But for some reason, this feels perfect. The rain, the sleeping baby. I feel like we’re on the cusp of something, and I want to take us all the way.”
“Tanner.” My eyes went wide as he opened the ring box.
A glittering diamond stared back at me. It was big, square, small stones on either side, white gold band. I sucked in a breath as he tilted his head.
“Marry me,” he said.
“Yes, I mean, of course. But—”
He leaned forward and kissed me before I could ask more. When the kiss ended, he slipped the ring on my finger and I laughed, giddy with excitement.
“Maybe you pictured something more dramatic,” he said. “A big, grand gesture. But I think we’ve had enough grand gestures. I think a small thing is the right thing for us, don’t you? Just being on this porch together with a perfect little baby boy sleeping upstairs is an achievement. Getting married is just the next step to make it all perfect.”
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you too.”
We kissed again and he held me tight. I stared at the ring on my finger and in that moment, I knew I was going to take the job. I knew I was going to move forward with my life.
It was time to change and to grow. I’d do that with Tanner, every single day. My love, my future husband, father of my child, light of my life. He made me stronger, smarter, better.
I couldn’t get enough of him.
With Tanner, I never had to choose between life or joy.
With Tanner, everything was joy.
Read more steamy mafia romance! The Volkov Crime Family story begins with Bend For Him. Bend for me, little bird. When I execute Robin Volkov’s cousin, she’s next on the chopping block. But she’s too beautiful and valuable to kill. So I go against my crew and save her life. Now she owes me everything. >> Click Here to start reading!
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Also by BB Hamel
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