by Noelle Adams
It was just barely sprained. Emma had gone to get an ice pack from the freezer, so he positioned it on her ankle, made sure she was comfortable, and lingered until she demanded in no uncertain terms that both of them leave her bedroom because she needed her beauty sleep.
Noah was deeply relieved as he and Emma walked down the hall and into the kitchen. Nan was getting older, but he wasn’t ready to lose her yet. A sprained ankle was about as minor an emergency in the middle of the night as he could have hoped for.
Emma must have been thinking something similar because she turned toward him and said softly, “She seems okay. Thank goodness.”
“Yeah.” Noah felt his heart do a ridiculous little skip as she gazed up at him with those soft brown eyes.
She was looking at him like she trusted him completely, like he was special. It was almost as heady as her sexy enthusiasm earlier.
His body gave a little clench at the memory of how hot and urgent they’d been in the car.
She blushed slightly, as if she’d seen something in his eyes.
“Thanks for coming over with me,” he murmured.
“Of course.” Her eyes widened. “Why wouldn’t I come?”
“She’s not your grandmother.”
“It sometimes feels like she is. I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Me too.”
Emma’s eyes darted up a few times to check out his face, and he had no idea what she might see there, although he had a feeling his expression was rather sappy and revealing.
“Okay,” she said, dropping her eyes again.
“Okay.” Then he realized that she was waiting for him. She had no way of getting back to her place on her own. “Oh, I’ll drive you back.”
“Thanks.”
The drive back was also quiet, and Noah’s mind was whirling with what he should say, what he should do.
He wanted to keep Emma looking at him in that particular way.
He knew that for sure.
But other than that, he had no idea what he should do next.
He parked in an empty space in front of her building and got out to walk her to the door.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?”
She looked a little surprised. “For driving me back.”
“Oh. Yeah. Of course.” Damn, he was acting like a complete fool, but he couldn’t seem to pull it together. His heart was beating wildly in his chest again. “Any time.”
She smiled at him.
He smiled back at her.
“You’re good with your grandmother,” she said.
It was his turn to be surprised. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re good with her. She obviously loves you, and… I don’t know… you take good care of her.”
He felt a little stab of guilt, mingling with the pleasure at the compliment. “I’ve been gone a long time.”
“I know. That’s why… I guess that’s why I’m a little surprised. You act… but that’s not the real you. You’re really good with her.”
“I’d like to be good with someone else too,” he heard himself murmuring.
Her cheeks reddened even more, and she hid her eyes for a moment, her dark lashes thick against her clear skin. Then she raised her gaze quickly, as if to ensure herself that he was saying what she thought he was saying.
“Well, that’s not too hard.”
“Isn’t it?” He leaned a bit closer to her.
“No. Why would it be hard?”
“Because I’ve never really done that kind of thing before.”
“What kind of thing?”
He gave a shrug and felt torn between self-consciousness and a deep throb of feeling that kept growing stronger. “I don’t even know. But I have all these visions of myself, giving you flowers and going on sunset walks.” His voice was dry, which was the only thing that kept him from feeling like a complete idiot.
She giggled in what looked like an overflow of feeling as well as amusement. “No need to get ahead of ourselves. I’ll be very happy if you just call me tomorrow. Or later today I guess, since it’s after one.”
His heart did that silly little skip again. “Just call you?”
“Just call me.” Her lips were quivering slightly, but her expression was full of fondness, tenderness—that same look that proved he was somehow more special, more wanted, than he’d ever known himself to be. “That will be a good first step.”
He nodded and closed the distance between their lips, brushing his against hers very softly. He wanted to deepen the kiss, to take her harder, but he held himself back so he didn’t break the mood between them or lose that fond look on her face. “I’ll call you.”
“Good.”
He was about to step back when he couldn’t resist another impulse. He pulled her into hug, holding her against him for several seconds.
She buried her face in his shirt and breathed deeply, her hands resting on his shoulders.
“Goodnight, Emma,” he murmured, finally pulling away so he wouldn’t just sweep her up and carry her into her apartment.
“Goodnight, Noah.” She gave him one more trembling smile before she walked up the front steps.
Her little white dress was hopelessly wrinkled. Her hair was rumpled, and her makeup was mostly worn off.
And Noah had never seen anything more lush, more desirable, more beautiful.
He felt like a sappy fool as he returned to the car, but for once he didn’t give a damn.
He was going to enjoy it.
***
The next morning, Emma slept in later than usual, and she didn’t get up and dressed until after ten. It was Saturday. She had the day off. But she normally got up a couple of hours earlier and did errands or laundry or something productive.
She wasn’t feeling productive today.
She was feeling giddy.
And what she really wanted to do was tell Ginny and Carol about what had happened last night with Noah.
She wasn’t sure if she should, though. Ginny was Noah’s sister. It might be a little weird for her to hear about how he and Emma had gone at it like animals in the back seat of a car.
But they were her best friends. If Emma was going to tell anyone, she would tell them. Deciding she’d just play things by ear, she headed over to Tea for Two, where she knew both of them would be.
Emma was excited to see that the tables were full this morning. Business wasn’t likely to always be this good after the opening excitement died down, but it was still a promising start.
She waved at Molly, the college student behind the front counter, and headed into the back rooms.
Carol had her hair pulled back and was wearing an apron as she skillfully rolled out dough. Ginny was leaning against another counter with her ever-present tablet in her hand.
“Hey!” Carol’s grin was wide and genuine as Emma approached. “Can you believe how many people are out there?”
“It’s great! Definitely a full house.” Emma came over to stand next to Ginny. “Last night was amazing. What time did people finally leave.”
“Around one. If I wasn’t on this high, I’d be exhausted.” Carol looked incredibly happy as she worked her dough. “But I’m way too excited to think about resting.”
She’d always wanted to do this. It was a dream come true for her.
“You’re going to totally crash eventually,” Ginny told her, her voice clever and dry like her brother’s often was.
“Maybe. But it will be worth it.”
When Carol leaned over to check something in one of the ovens, Emma turned to Ginny. “How’s Nan’s ankle?”
“It’s fine. It was barely even a sprain. There’s a little swelling but not too much.” Ginny was giving Emma a look of close scrutiny. “So now’s the time you tell me what you were doing with Noah in the middle of the night.”
Emma would love to be one of those people who could keep her cool in such situations, but it was hopeless for her. She flushed
hot and froze. “Oh.”
“Oh is right,” Ginny prompted. “What’s going on?”
Carol straightened up, her eyes growing rounder. “Did something happen with Noah?”
“Shh.” Emma glanced toward the door, but no one else was in hearing distance. “He… he walked me home. Then he got the call from Nan.”
“Uh huh.” Ginny’s face wasn’t quite as teasing as Emma would have expected.
“So why do you look like you’ve got the biggest, best secret in the world?” Carol demanded. “Something happened, didn’t it? He kissed you?”
“Y-yeah.”
Carol gasped.
Ginny’s eyes narrowed. “You screwed him, didn’t you?”
Emma was torn between excitement and defensiveness. “Don’t make it sound so crude.”
“You did?” Carol gasped. “You made love to him?”
Emma cleared her throat. “We… we had sex.”
Carol gave a little squeal and pressed her hands together, but Ginny wasn’t even smiling. “What about your Man-Fast?”
Emma gave a little shrug. “I don’t know. It just… it just happened.”
“So it was a one-time thing—to work off tension or something?” Ginny asked.
“N-no. I don’t think so. He said he would call me. He was acting… different.” Emma let out a long breath, not even sure how to describe the feelings she’d seen in Noah last night. “Like he… like it meant something to him. He seems… different.”
“He’s fallen head-over-heels in love with you!” Carol exclaimed with a huge grin.
Emma shushed her again, checking to make sure they were still alone. “Don’t be silly. It’s just a… just a start. It’s early yet.”
“Early? How can it be early?” Ginny replied. “You’ve known him all your life.”
“I know, but… it feels like a beginning.”
“So the Man-Fast is over?” Ginny asked in that same dry but not teasing voice.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know. He said he’d call. When he does, I’ll just… see what happens.”
She didn’t have to tell her friends how excited she was feeling. They were obviously both aware of that fact.
It would be nice if Ginny could be a little happier for her, but it must be a weird and awkward situation for her. Emma might feel the same way herself, if Ginny had spent the night with Patrick.
She couldn’t help but pull her phone out of her purse to check the screen.
She hadn’t gotten any calls yet this morning, but it was just ten-thirty. Noah wouldn’t call her that early.
He’d call her later this afternoon.
She couldn’t wait to hear what he’d say when he did.
***
Noah spent the morning with Nan, helping her out because she still couldn’t put much weight on her ankle. He worked on some email, and he straightened up the living room a little, since the clutter was bothering Nan.
And he kept looking at the time, wondering when would be a reasonable time to call Emma.
He felt like an eager teenager, and it had been a long time since he’d experienced anything like it.
To tell the truth, he’d never felt this way—like every breath he took was getting him closer to being with her.
He was going to have to talk to Patrick about this, and he wasn’t looking forward to the conversation.
But he couldn’t do anything until he called Emma and got a sense of how she was feeling today.
He was in the kitchen, warming up soup and making a sandwich for Nan, when Ginny came striding back into the house.
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “I thought you’d be at Tea for Two all day today.”
“There’s nothing really for me to do right now.” Her tone and her expression were strange—almost stiff.
He drew his eyebrows together. “What’s the matter?”
Ginny just stared at him.
Noah felt a clench of concern in his chest. “Ginny, what’s going on?”
Ginny glanced toward the living room, where Nan was watching some kind of corny gospel music show on television. Then she took Noah by the arm and walked him out the side door.
“What the hell is going on?” he demanded.
“The hell that is going on,” Ginny hissed at him, her green eyes flashing with obvious anger, “is that you went and screwed my best friend.”
Noah’s body went briefly cold, for no reason that he could understand. “She told you?”
“Yes, she told me! She’s my best friend. Like a sister to me. You get that, don’t you?”
Noah was confused and disoriented and anxious and defensive. He controlled the flurry of emotions enough to reply coolly, “Yes, I get that. Why wouldn’t I get that?”
“Because you went and screwed her! And you’re going to leave her with a broken heart.” She gave Noah a little shove—not hard, just enough to make her point. “How could you do that, you big selfish idiot!”
If he’d thought it through, he would have known things might be a bit weird with Ginny, considering her relationship to both him and Emma. But he’d never expected this. He took a step back. “Why would you assume I’m going to break her heart?”
“Because I know you, remember? Because I’m your sister. Because I’ve seen how you’ve lived for the last nine years. You screwed her, and now you’re going to walk away, leaving me to pick up the pieces.”
Despite his confusion, the words hurt. Like a stab to his heart.
His own sister, assuming all he knew how to do was hurt other people.
“It’s not like that,” he said gruffly. “It’s not like that. It’s… it’s early still, but…” He had no idea how to even begin to describe how he felt.
“Early!” Ginny repeated the word like it was a curse. “What’s wrong with the two of you? Nothing can be early between the two of you. You’ve known each other too long. You have way too much history. There is no early here.”
“Y-yeah. I guess. But I… I like her.” Those words sounded ludicrously insufficient for the way he was feeling about Emma, but he had no idea how else to describe it.
“I know you do. I’m not stupid. I know you’d never just use her for a casual fuck. You like her right now, but you’re going to get scared. Two weeks from now, two months from now, whenever it happens. It will happen. You’ll get scared or you’ll feel trapped or you’ll think she’s going to hurt you, and then you’ll run. That’s what you always do, and I’m not going to let you do it to Emma!”
Ginny was naturally a light-hearted person who laughed a lot and smiled a lot and knew how to make the people around her happy. But she was dead serious now. She absolutely believed what she was telling him.
And it slammed into Noah like a truck.
She was right. She was right.
Running was what he always did. Anything he needed to do to protect himself. It was what he’d been doing for nine years.
No matter how many of these soft, fluttering feelings he was having for Emma, it wasn’t likely to change his nature.
Protecting himself was what he did.
“I thought…” He had to clear his throat and start again. “I thought you told me the other day that you thought it was time for me to… to settle down.”
“It is, Noah. But I just meant take a few baby steps to get started. Think about getting a job closer to home. I didn’t mean to use my best friend as a trial run for being in a real relationship. You’ll leave her in pieces, Noah. You should have seen her this morning.”
“What about her?” he asked, unable to hold back the urgency in his voice.
“She was so…so happy. About you. And when you leave, it’s going to shatter her.”
He had nothing to say to that. Even the little thrill he felt at how happy Emma was about him wasn’t enough to overcome the knot of dread, of knowledge.
Why the hell should he believe he could be a different man, just because he wanted to be one for Emma?
/> “So… so what am I supposed to do?” he finally asked.
Ginny let out a deep breath, her face twisted with emotion. “You’re supposed to dig deep, Noah. Dig deep. And figure out if you’re really ready to be this new person with Emma. And, if you’re not or if you’re not sure, you need to stay away from her. Because if you lead her on and then break her heart, nothing is going to be the same. Nothing! You won’t just lose Emma. You’ll lose Patrick too. And you’ll lose Carol. And I don’t know about Ryan, but she’s been a better friend to him than you have for the last several years.” There were tears glistening in her eyes, and Ginny’s voice broke as she concluded, “You’ll lose everyone but me, Noah. And it would take me a long time to forgive you.”
Noah’s throat ached, and his chest ached, and his whole body ached.
The vision she painted was a true one. His friends—his only friends—were as devoted to Emma as they were to him. More so, given how he’d acted since high school.
He could indulge this strange new whim. Try this out with Emma. Pretend to be a person he’d never been before. See what happened.
And probably end up breaking every bond of friendship that still meant something to him.
Or he could just let it go.
Let her go.
Do the smart, safe thing for once in his life.
He could be good.
“Okay,” he said as last, his voice no more than a rasp. “Okay.”
Ginny swiped away a stray tear. “Okay what? Okay you’ll take her seriously or okay you’ll stay away from her?”
“I’ll stay away from her.”
The words were bleak, painful, but Noah wasn’t confused anymore.
He’d lived the way he’d lived for the last nine years, and you couldn’t take it back overnight.
You couldn’t take it back at all.
Even if you wanted to.
Even if you found a woman who made you want to be better than you were.
***
Emma went shopping that afternoon, mostly for something to do to keep her from wondering when Noah was going to call her.
She was happy at first as she browsed clothes and shoes and found a cute new skirt and a gorgeous pair of earrings. It was early yet. Noah had plenty of time to call.