by BlaQue
“Neko, NiQue is grieving and she was just talking crazy.”
The tears stained my cheeks as I tried to conceal the drama I had caused. I could tell Neko wanted to believe me. He was searching my face desperately for truthful answers and looked so disappointed that he was getting none. He shook his head and rose from his chair. He walked over to me and pulled me to my feet. He wrapped his arms around me.
“Whatever it is you need to tell me, I guess you will tell me when you think the time is right.” His voice was full of sorrow like he couldn’t trust me anymore, but he seemed too tired to even try and get the truth out of me.
“Look, when you are ready to talk, I will be downstairs. Just call my phone. I need to try and get some rest.” I hugged him back not wanting him to leave me, but not wanting to talk about any of the mess I had created. He stepped out of my embrace and left the room. I felt relieved that he was not pressing the issue and going to try and get some rest. I needed to try and get some questions answered.
Chapter 23
The Bleu
Lanham, MD
I woke up to Epps knocking on my door which was weird because I hadn’t even realized I had fallen asleep on the couch. I grabbed my cell and checked the time and saw I had slept for an entire day. Rubbing my eyes, I pulled open the door to the suite and Epps was standing before me looking a little concerned.
“What’s going on Epps?” I questioned, not wanting to have a long drawn out conversation with him about any more bad news.
“Ma’am, your brother just left the hotel, he refused to let us accompany him, and he refused to let me inform you that he was leaving. As soon as I spotted him leaving, I thought I should let you know.”
I began to pace back and forth. I knew where he was going and I didn’t like it one bit. He was headed to NiQue. The only problem was that I didn’t even know where she was. As if Epps knew my concerns, he spoke up. “I sent Debo to follow him just in case some shit popped off. I just wanted to let you know ma’am.”
“Call Debo and find out where he is headed. Tell him not to let Neko out of his sight! If anything looks strange get my brother out of there.”
“Yes ma’am.” he said backing out of the room.
“Oh, and Epps…if we need to handle anybody and I do mean, “anybody” just be ready.” I said before he could get out of the doorway totally.
I couldn’t believe what had just left my lips. I would rather kill than have my secrets of betrayal out there. It was bad enough I had to find a way of fixing the mess with Neko. NiQue was sure to tell him all she knew about my mother’s disappearance and God only knows what else. I was way past being concerned about NiQue. I was borderline ready to dead her ass. She knew way too much, and she was bitter. She was pissed because I wasn’t into that lesbian shit and she was mad about Dread. The more I thought about it, she was more pissed about the fact that I didn’t want to keep fucking her than she was about her brother, Big Sean, being killed.
I twisted up a J, turned on my Ipod, and sat it in the speaker holster on the end table. “Twirl Off” by Lucky Lamar and Dread filled the air as I blazed. The Kush I was smoking had calmed me. I had put just enough “fuck it” into my system to just deny anything NiQue said to Neko about my mother, about us fucking, and anything else she had to say. My cell phone buzzed and then rang out breaking my concentration on getting high. I looked at the name on the caller ID on the phone and my stomach started to churn. It was that damn detective. I reluctantly answered the phone. “Hello.”
“YaSheema, this is Detective Gatsby. I wanted to know if we could talk. Three bodies of three people were found in an apartment building in Southeast DC.”
My heart began to beat fast. It never occurred to me that no one had found Corinne and her company stuffed into the closet.
“Well, what does that have to do with me? I obviously don’t live in Southeast DC.” I said trying not to let on that I knew anything.
“Yeah Ms. Clayton, there was an eye-witness who put you at the scene of the crime.” My face felt hot. Like someone had set fire to me. I began to sweat profusely.
“They have to be mistaken because I don’t know anything about that.”
Ms. Clayton, have you heard from your brother? We still need to talk to him about your father’s murder and your uncle’s attack. You know, as a matter of fact, a lot of folks associated with you and your family keep coming up dead. Would you like to talk about it? First your boyfriend, then your father and only God knows who else.”
His voice trailed off. “As a matter of fact, either they come up dead or missing. I am starting to wonder if your brother and mother are even alive!” He had struck a nerve bringing up my brother. I could no longer contain my dislike for him and the way he was talking to me.
“Look detective, I don’t know what is happening; I don’t know where my brother, or mother are! I don’t know who the fuck murdered my father and tried to kill my uncle. Any number of people could have murdered Corrine and her little bitches; she was a drug dealer, just like my late boyfriend!” I screamed into the phone. Before I could stop my chest from heaving up and down I realized I had fucked up royally. Gatsby realized it too, and began to laugh on the other end of the line.
“YaSheema, if you didn’t know Corrine was dead, how did you know the other people she was found with were females? Better yet, how did you know that they were “friends” with Corrine like you said?”
I had to think fast because the pig was trying to pin me with shit I didn’t even have anything to do with. “The streets talk detective. That is all I can say about knowing she was with her female friends. Besides, she was into women; I just figured it was her girlfriend. She didn’t deal with too many dudes except for with business.” I was hoping he was buying the bullshit I was feeding him.
“Mr. Gatsby, if you are done trying to ask me questions I clearly have no answers for, I will be going. I have yet another funeral to prepare for. Maybe you should focus your time, attention, and energy on the real killers instead of insinuating that I know more than I am telling you. Are you done?” I asked in a nasty tone.
“For now, but I am sure we will talk again real soon.” He said with an air of confidence.
I disconnected the phone call before he could say anything else. My head was throbbing. I decided there was way too much going on for me, and I had to start making moves before anything else happened. I needed to be proactive instead of reactive. That shit was getting me nowhere. I left the sanctuary of the hotel room and got into my car. I knew where I was headed wasn’t smart because anyone I loved was getting taken from me one by one, but I had to try and get some answers. I pulled up in front of PG Hospital. Oscar was doing better and it was time to try to ask him what he knew about who had tried to kill him. I walked inside the hospital and decided to go to the gift shop and pick up a few things for Oscar. I grabbed a few magazines, some snacks, and a couple balloons that wished a speedy recovery on the front of them.
After purchasing the items, I headed for the fourth floor and to the nurses’ station. They pointed me in the direction of where Oscar was being treated. My heels clicked as I walked down the hallway. I hated hospitals. I had always wondered why they were painted in those awful colors. They were all the same; institutional blue, split pea green, and sickening yellow. The always smelled like death and decay. I entered Oscar’s room and he was sleeping. I couldn’t help but notice that he was hooked to several machines and there was an IV machine lightly humming. I took the items I had purchased and placed them on his bedside table. I tied the balloons to the bottom of the bed. When I looked up, I saw Oscar staring at me.
“Oh, Oscar I didn’t mean to wake you. I pulled up one of the chairs and positioned myself where he could see me.
“Hey YaYa. You are a sight for sore eyes.” He said weakly.
“So are you Unc? I am so glad you are alright. I mean, all things considered.” I said. He tried to smile at me and I could tell he was in pain.
/> “Look, I can come back when you feel up to having visitors.” I said not really wanting to go. He was one of the only people I had left that reminded me of my father.
He looked like he was worn out and like the lifestyle had broken him down. He sat up and started to speak. “Would you like to tell me what is going on?”
“Well Unc, I was hoping you could help me. Do you know who did this to you? Did you get to see who it was that day in the house?” I asked.
Oscar’s eyes got wide as saucers. “No, I don’t know who did this. It all happened so fast. One minute I was headed to move the car and the next minute I felt bullets ripping through my body like fire. I never saw their faces.” His voice trailed off.
He looked so sad and defeated. I could tell that he felt like he had failed us. What he didn’t know was that I was so glad that I didn’t lose him too.
“YaSheema, I didn’t see who did it, but they said something that I will never forget.”
I sat to attention and concentrated on whatever it was that Oscar was going to reveal. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
“YaYa they said they had come for you.” He said sheepishly.
Before he could say anything else, the nurse walked in to take Oscar’s vitals and administer his meds through the IV. I could tell he had more to say, but was leery of speaking in front of the nurse. I could see him fighting to stay conscious as she emptied the syringe, which I assumed was filled with pain meds, into his IV line.
“Ma’am, the medicine I just gave him is going to put him to sleep. I hate to cut your visit short, but he won’t really be good company in about three minutes.” She chuckled.
I am glad she thought that shit was comical because I damn sure didn’t. I wanted the bitch to exit the same way she had come in. I desperately needed to know what else the killers had said. It was too late, the drugs had taken affect and Oscar was in a deep sleep and wasn’t going to be telling anyone anything until he came to the next morning. The nurse left closing his door behind her. I rose and kissed Oscar on his forehead, careful not to touch his bandages.
“I promise that I am going to catch whoever did this to you.” I whispered before walking out of the hospital room and out of the hospital altogether. I had my game face on and some niggas were gonna pay.
Chapter 24
The Fish Market
Old Branch Avenue
Clinton, MD
I didn’t feel like going back to the hotel being that I knew Neko would be there waiting to ask me all sorts of questions about what NiQue had told him. I drove towards Dread’s. I knew he didn’t want to see me. He had made that very clear.
Through all that was going on he was the only little piece of sanity I had. I figured it was now or never. I had to tell him the truth. I found myself wanting to tell him everything that had happened. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to come clean with someone so desperately about all the crazy shit I was going through. I knew he would keep it one hundred with me no matter what. I pulled up to his apartment and almost didn’t get out of the car. I climbed the steps, and once again I almost turned around.
Once I was in front of his door I could clearly hear voices. It was the last voice I expected to hear coming from Dread’s apartment. It was NiQue.
What the fuck was she doing there?
I could hear her sniffling like she was crying and I wanted to know why she was there in the first place. I knocked on the door and covered the peep hole with my hand so he couldn’t see me. He didn’t even hesitate, he opened the door without even bothering to ask who it was. I pushed past him and was prepared for a showdown with my best friend. God only knows what she had told him, and it really ain’t matter at that point because that bitch had pulled one too many stunts for my liking; she had to go. NiQue was faster than I thought and had jumped to her feet once she saw me. She had already taken a defensive stance and was ready to throw down in the middle of Dread’s home.
“You sneaky bitch!” I yelled as I jumped on her, reigning blow after blow. She fought back wildly. Dread tried to separate us, but I guess we proved to be too much for him and we got around him. I shoved NiQue to the floor and sat on her, delivering punch after punch like we were never friends. The only thing that saved her no good ass was Dread pulling me off of her and dragging me out the front door.
“What the fuck is this shit you are trying to pull YaSheema?” He said through clenched teeth.
“I thought I told you to stay away from me. I ain’t want no parts of whatever shit you are twisted up in.”
He let me go and pushed me towards the steps leading to the front entrance of his building. Tears began to stream down my battered cheeks. I walked down the steps defeated. I turned to try and fix it with Dread. I tried to say what my heart had been leading me to say all along. I wanted to tell him the truth about what was going on, and I wanted to tell him I was falling in love with him. Before I could open my mouth, I saw NiQue standing behind him with a smile plastered across her bruised red face, and it made me re-think what I was about to say.
She was gonna be dealt with. It was war between her and me at that point. There was no use in fighting a battle with her right there when it was clear I wouldn’t be the winner. She and I were going to face off eventually for her betrayal, my betrayal, and a lot of other things in between.
People started to open their doors to see what all the commotion in the hallway had been about. Before I had to face their questionable stares, I left. The only good thing that had come from my trip to visit Dread, was knowing that Neko hadn’t been with NiQue finding out his sister really wasn’t shit. I straightened out my clothes and got in the car. I looked in the rear view mirror at my reflection and couldn’t believe that NiQue and I had let our friendship turn so ugly. We were fighting like niggas in the street. I was sick of the life I was leading. I was tired of running from an invisible ghost. Too much happened to go back. So it was time to eliminate all of the problems in a whole. I would just go, but not before closing up all my loose ends. I started my car, backed out of the space, and headed back to the place it had all begun. I headed home.
I sped up 395 trying to calm my nerves not knowing what would be waiting for me. I rolled through the streets of DC until I got into Georgetown and slowed only because the police in this district didn’t take to kindly to uppity black folks. I moved in and out of traffic and through back streets until I reached my home. It looked cold and uninviting. It didn’t look like the place where I had made so many memories; good and bad. I pulled up into the driveway and couldn’t help but notice the yellow police tape by the garage. I tried to shake the nagging feeling that I should not be there out of my mind, and shut down my engine. I walked up the drive and for a moment I swear I could hear nothing but the gravel crunching beneath my feet. My hands were sweaty as I moved up the walkway.
I opened the front door and the pain flooded my heart. It was the second time that day that my heart had been abused. I looked through the empty foyer and saw my childhood. I saw me as a child rushing down the steps to greet my father when he would come home. I saw visions of us as a family, gathering our things to head out to have daddy-daughter time. The visions would not stop flowing through my mind like a raging river.
My mind was trying to process all of the memories that were flowing through it. I saw my mother invade my memories. It was the time before she really let the drugs take over her. She was beautiful, and her grey eyes sparkled. She truly looked like she was happy. She looked like she loved her life. In that instant, I saw her and my father embrace as if they were in love.
I shook my head trying to clear the memories from my mind. It was too late to try and get the past back. They were both gone. For the first time, I regretted killing my mother. I wished she could have been the mother I needed, the mother I wished she could be. I wanted her to love me more than she loved crack. I wanted her to put me first like a real mother should. Other children had their mothers to be there during their first
day of school, when they started to like boys, to celebrate Mother’s Day and birthdays. I wanted that. My father tried to give me whatever I wanted, but he could never give me a mother. He could never give me that normalcy I so longed for.
It was true that I had any and everything I could have wished for material wise, but I secretly longed for a real stable family with bonds that could not be broken. I didn’t ask for drugs, money, murder and mayhem. I never asked for any of the shit I was dealt. My father bred me to want those things that had hurt so many. He taught me chaos. That was all he knew. He didn’t know his teachings were going to be his downfall and the downfall of all the ones he loved so dearly.
The fresh hot tears streamed down my face. I was lost in a world I had not wanted. I didn’t want my father to grow to hate my mother; and because he did, I did also. I wished that I could forgive her. Instead I had followed his lead and hated her for what she had become. Instead of helping her through her addiction, he threw her out of not only our home, but out of my life.
I braced myself against the banister leading up the stairway. I was feeling so lost in a place that should have been so familiar. Being in my father’s tomb, my home was overwhelming. The more I tried to fight the demons surfacing, the more I was faced with them.
Flashes of the day I reunited with my mother were so bittersweet. I had dreamed of that day all my young life. Silly as it may have seemed looking back, I longed for my mother to come home to us clean and sober and ready to be a mother. Instead I got her back more strung out than ever, and ready to take away the only thing she gave me that appeared to be a gift; my brother Neko. She had brought him to us and then wanted to take him from me and I hated her for it. It was like she was on some get back shit. I had taken her place as the woman in my father’s life, and she would take away the one thing I wanted more than ever, a semi-normal family.