In the low light, he could just make out the slight wash of pink on her skin, but she wouldn’t be distracted. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. Promise.”
He sighed. “Okay. I promise.”
Obviously pleased with herself, she smiled and she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, a voice interrupted them.
“Hey, you two. Fancy running into you here.”
Matt’s stomach clenched, nausea gripping him. He thought he might be sick right here all over the table.
Sandra, Hannah’s supervisor and mentor in the marketing department, stood next to their table, her brown eyes far too perceptive behind her glasses, cataloging him, their table, Hannah. Shit. Shit shit shit fucking shitty shit. He was so screwed.
Hannah straightened in her chair. “Hey, Sandra. How’s it going?” Her voice came out remarkably calm, but he could detect an undertone of panic.
Sandra nodded, crossing her arms over the slinky purple sheath dress she wore, her dark hair tied up in a knot on the back of her head. “Good. I’m out with my husband for Valentine’s Day. And you two are on a … date?”
She raised her eyebrows at him on the last word. He swallowed convulsively, fighting down the bile in his throat.
Hannah pushed her chair back and stood. “Sandra, can I talk to you?”
Sandra pulled her eyes from him slowly, looking Hannah up and down again. “Sure. What do you need?”
Hannah led her away from the table toward the restrooms at the front of the restaurant. Matt sat at the table, sucking down his ice water, trying to fight back the panic. If Sandra said anything to anyone, he’d get fired and Hannah wouldn’t get offered a summer internship, if she was even allowed to finish this one. He was pretty sure they’d let her finish, blaming him for the relationship since he held the position of power. It would reflect badly on her, but she wouldn’t be overtly punished. He definitely would.
Fuck.
When Hannah sat back down she gave him a tight smile. “Don’t worry. She won’t say anything.”
“Good.” He was so thrown off by the whole thing that he couldn’t manage more than one word replies.
The waitress came and cleared their dinner plates. “Ready for your dessert?”
He gave a nod and a tight smile. “Sure.” If they hadn’t already ordered dessert at the beginning, he’d suggest leaving now.
They both picked at their desserts in silence. He was still reeling from Sandra’s appearance despite Hannah’s reassurance that everything would be okay. He didn’t know Sandra well, so he wasn’t sure how much he could trust her to keep her mouth shut.
Glancing up, he noticed that Hannah had set her spoon down, her creme brûlée only about half eaten. She stared at him, her face blank, and he looked down at the mess he’d made of his own dessert, smashing into it repeatedly with his fork, only managing a few bites, his stomach still churning.
Dammit, and now he was ruining what was supposed to be a romantic evening where he told his girlfriend he loved her. With his current attitude, he didn’t trust himself not to fuck that up, too, and decided he wouldn’t do it tonight after all. He’d save the necklace and those three words for another time.
He set his fork down, meeting Hannah’s eyes. “Are you ready to go?”
She nodded, not speaking. As soon as their waitress came close enough, he caught her eye and asked for the check.
She looked concerned as she took in the state of their desserts. “Was everything okay?”
Hannah offered her a wan smile. “It was delicious. I think we’re both just full from dinner.”
The waitress nodded and smiled back, setting the little black folder on their table and gathering their plates. Matt slid his card into the folder before she left, and she came back a couple of minutes later with the slip for him to sign.
Scrawling his signature, he replaced the paper in the folder and stood. Hannah stood too, grabbing her coat and scarf and following him to the door.
He drove her back to her apartment. With her fingers wrapped around the handle, she paused and looked at him. He tensed, bracing for the worst, his hands gripping the steering wheel, waiting for whatever she had to say. Was she going to break up with him? Is that the deal she struck with Sandra? That she would keep quiet if Hannah dumped him immediately?
“Do—” She licked her lips. “Do you want to come in?”
Blowing out a breath, he shook his head, cursing himself. He wanted to go in. But he shouldn’t. If she wasn’t going to break up with him, then he should probably be the one to do it. Even if Sandra didn’t say anything, how much longer could they keep this up? His head was spinning, and he didn’t know what to say, what to think, what to feel. He wanted to follow her in and lose himself inside her, but … “Not tonight. I’m sorry, I just … I’m all tense and edgy, and I don’t want to take that out on you.”
She nodded, looking down so her hair swung forward, and he couldn’t see her expression. “Okay.” Her voice came out just above a whisper, and without leaning in for a kiss like she normally did, she climbed out of the car and slammed the door before he could do or say anything else.
He stared after her as she walked toward the stairs to her apartment, wondering if he should go after her. But before he could make up his mind, she was up the stairs and hidden from sight.
Cursing himself for being a jackass, he drove away.
Chapter Nineteen
Hannah fought back tears as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. What was supposed to be the perfect romantic Valentine’s Day had turned into a disaster. Thankfully Elena had gone out after all. Hannah really didn’t feel like rehashing everything right now. She needed to process. Figure out her own feelings before she could share them with anyone else.
The orange flower on the table mocked her. Closing her eyes and turning away, she went into her room, took a hot shower, and lay down in bed. She’d planned on doing the walk of shame tomorrow, spending the night with Matt, but instead lay in her bed and cried about how fast he’d changed just from the appearance of Sandra at their table.
What would this mean for their relationship? He’d barely spoken after she’d gotten back from talking to Sandra, convincing her that her relationship with Matt had started before she’d gotten the internship. Since internships were decided before he’d even started working there full time, he couldn’t have influenced the decision committee, so Sandra had agreed that since she wasn’t a real employee and they knew each other outside of work, that she wouldn’t rat them out.
“Be careful,” she’d warned. “If anyone else finds out, you’ll both be in trouble.” She glanced toward where Matt still sat at their table. “Him more than you.”
Hannah nodded. “I know. Thanks.”
On Monday, Hannah was nervous about how Sandra would act, but she treated her the same as always, checking up on her work, showing her new things, being her usual great self. She didn’t see Matt, but that was normal. They avoided each other at work, unless he checked in with all the interns, and they kept their conversations brief and professional.
At the end of the day, she finally got a text from him. The first communication since he’d dropped her off the night before. Dinner tonight?
The angry, spiteful part of her thought about telling him no, but she wanted to see him. If for no other reason than to figure out where they would go from here. Did he want to break up? Cool it until her internship ended? She needed to know what he was thinking.
Sure.
Great. I’ll text you when I get home.
Apparently that meant dinner at his place. Well, after being seen while out on a date, she couldn’t blame him for being nervous about being seen in public together.
When she got to his house about an hour later, she knocked on the door and let herself in. He came out of the kitchen dressed in a T-shirt that clung to the defined muscles of his chest and shoulders and faded jeans, his bare toes peeking out from the hem. This was
her favorite look on him.
She stood by the door, fiddling with the keys still in her hand, unsure what to say or do. He walked right up to her, pulled her into his arms, and buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry for last night, Hannah. Sandra surprised me, and I didn’t handle it well, and I fucked up the rest of our night.”
Lifting his head, he met her eyes, his own filled with remorse and anxiety. “Are you mad at me?”
She took in the mixture of pain and hope on his face, his blue eyes pleading, and shook her head. “No. I’m not mad. But when you pull away like that, I don’t like it. I don’t know what you’re thinking. You’re too good at hiding your thoughts. I don’t know where I stand with you, and I get hurt and confused.”
He grimaced. “I’m sorry. I am. I never want to hurt you. I’ll try not to do that again.”
She nodded, and he kissed her, a brief press of his lips to hers. Restrained. Chaste. Not at all like he normally kissed her. But being in his arms made her feel better, more settled, even if they hadn’t quite found their equilibrium again.
“How did work go today? Did Sandra give you a hard time?” His hand rubbed up and down her back, like he couldn’t bring himself to give up touching her yet. Like he needed the reassurance as much as she did.
“No.” Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder. “She acted the same as always, like nothing was different.”
“Good.” He paused for a moment, then shook his head and let out a long breath, his chest deflating. “Okay. Good. Do you think she’ll say anything to anyone?”
“No. Sandra’s not a gossip.” She lifted her head to meet his eyes. “I told her that we’ve known each other for years and that you’re not taking advantage of me or anything. She warned me to be careful, but that’s all.”
When she finished talking, his eyes roamed over her face, searching, and he nodded once. “Okay. She’s right, and I’m glad she’s not treating you differently. If anyone else finds out, I don’t want any of this to blow back on you.” His fingers caressed her cheek, and she turned her face into his hand, taking comfort in the gesture.
He seemed to relax after that, and Hannah relaxed as well. No mention was made of them taking a break or breaking up altogether, which was a relief. But the easy togetherness they’d had before had vanished, and even though they both pretended everything was back to normal, Hannah was more careful of her words and actions both with him and at work, and she felt like he was doing the same thing. Every evening he would ask her if Sandra acted differently. And every evening she assured him that no, everything was fine. Sandra wasn’t going to out them.
By Saturday things had calmed down enough that Matt greeted her with a passionate kiss when she came over for Abby’s birthday party. She’d gotten there a little early to help Megan get everything ready.
“Get a room, you two.” Megan’s voice cut into the haze of desire that always swamped her when Matt had her wrapped up in him, his tongue in her mouth, his arms holding her tight against his body, one hand in her hair, the other on her ass.
He pulled back with a smile, placing another soft kiss on her mouth. “If you insist.” Both hands went to Hannah’s ass and lifted, and she let out a yelp of surprise before wrapping her legs around his waist, her hands clinging to his shoulders. He turned and started carrying her to his bedroom.
“Wait! No!” Megan protested, jumping in the way to block their path. “Hannah’s here to help me, not for you to screw her brains out! You’ll have to wait until later.”
Matt stopped, his grin still in place. “Aw. That’s too bad.” Loosening his grip, he let her slide down his front. Hannah reluctantly let go with her legs, placing her feet on the floor again. Going into his room sounded like a great idea to her, especially with that kind of greeting after a stressful week of walking on eggshells around each other. After hearing Chris and Megan going at it while trying to watch a movie with Matt in the living room, she’d gotten over her fear of being heard. She figured if they weren’t shy, she shouldn’t be either. Matt agreed, encouraging her to vocalize as much as she wanted, his dirty words spurring the same from her when she could manage more than moans.
He kissed her again before letting her go, smacking her ass as she turned to walk toward the kitchen. She cast a glare at him over her shoulder. “I’ll pay you back for that later.”
His smirk was irrepressible. “Looking forward to it.”
Megan put Hannah in charge of finishing dinner while Megan mixed the ingredients for the cake, popping it in the oven just as Abby and Lance arrived. Matt brought Hannah out to introduce her to another tall, hot guy, this one with dark hair, and a petite, strawberry blonde. When Matt called Hannah his girlfriend, both Abby and Lance looked her up and down before exchanging a look and smiling. Abby gave her a hug. “I’m so happy to meet you. Megan’s told me all about you.”
“Uh, good things I hope.” Hannah glanced at Megan, who just gave her an impish smile and a shrug.
“Abby’s my best friend. We talk. And another girl spending lots of time in my house merits discussion.”
Abby pulled back from the hug, looking Hannah in the eyes and smiling. “Don’t worry, it’s good. At least the stuff about you is. The stuff about Matt, on the other hand …”
“Hey!” Matt sounded affronted. “What lies are you spreading about me, Megan?”
Megan just laughed. “What makes you think they’re lies? You do enough stupid stuff all on your own. I don’t need to embellish it.”
Abby reached over and patted his arm, getting him to turn his glare on her. “Aw, don’t worry, Matty. She tells me about the sweet stuff you do, too. Like all your Valentine’s Day plans.”
Matt’s glare morphed, and his face tightened. The smile fell away from Hannah’s face too. Both Abby and Megan looked surprised at the change. Abby looked from Matt to Hannah to Megan, confusion written on her face. “What—”
“I hate when you guys call me Matty. My name’s Matt.” His voice came out gruff, almost angry.
Megan’s chuckle dissipated the sudden tension, and she hooked her arm through his, laying her head against his bicep. “I know, Matty. That’s why we do it.”
“I know.” The words came out on a put upon sigh. With a rueful smile on his face, he patted Megan’s head, effectively dissolving the sudden tension. Hannah let out the breath she didn’t even realize she’d been holding.
They moved into the living room while Megan finished getting dinner ready. Hannah tried to help again, but Megan shooed her back into the living room. “Relax. Hang out. Get to know everyone. You can help more next time.”
Abby looked up and scooted closer to Lance to make room for Hannah on the couch, but Matt grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap, her back against the arm of the couch, her legs across his so she faced Lance and Abby on their end of the couch. The conversation around her stopped as Lance and Abby gave her appraising looks again.
“So, Hannah, tell us about yourself.” Lance’s dark eyes traveled over her face, then further down, taking in her favorite green sweater and skinny jeans, lingering on Matt’s arm across her legs and his other hand gripping her waist before meeting her gaze again, his eyebrows lifted in question.
Abby, who reclined against his muscular chest, reached back and smacked him lightly. Apparently Matt didn’t have any small or homely friends. “Be nice, Lance. This isn’t an interview. She’s Matt’s girlfriend, and she has Chris and Megan’s approval.” He smiled down at her, his dark brown hair falling over his forehead, before they turned their attention back to Hannah. “We’re glad you’re here,” Abby went on. “Matt’s been the third wheel for a while now, and even though he never complained, it had to be awkward for him.”
Hannah shrugged. “It’s okay. What do you want to know?”
“What do you see in this big doofus?” Chris’s voice came from behind Hannah, where he sat on the recliner.
She turned and glanced at him over her shoulder before looking bac
k at Matt. He stared up into her face, a smile on his mouth, but his eyes questioning, like he wanted to hear her answer as much as the others. She almost said something flippant and sarcastic, but the look in Matt’s eyes made her pause and think about the question. “The way we are together. It’s fun and easy, like we can talk about anything and nothing for hours. Or we can not talk and that’s okay too, just as long as we’re together, everything’s okay.”
“Yeah, I hear a lot of the not talking you guys do together.” Chris snickered, and Lance and Abby chuckled too, not even trying to hide it.
Heat rushed to Hannah’s face, and she kept her head down so her hair would hide her flaming cheeks. The happy look on Matt’s face changed as he glared at Chris behind her back. “Yeah, like you and Megan have any room to talk. I’ve had to listen to you guys go at it for months, and dude, you two are loud.” He drew out the last word and turned his gaze on Lance. “And you guys weren’t much better. I’ve been wearing earplugs at night for the last six months.”
Everyone broke out in laughter at that, including Hannah. She could see Abby blushing too. At least she wasn’t the only one who did that when conversation took a turn for the dirty.
The rest of the evening passed with food, drink, and laughter. Abby loved the presents from her friends and endured the good-natured teasing about not wanting to go to a bar for her twenty-first birthday, giving as good as she got with the sarcastic comments. They included and welcomed Hannah, made her feel like part of their group of friends, the newness of her presence with them wearing off quickly. She felt relaxed and comfortable, not just because of Matt or the wine Megan had served with dinner, but like she fit with them. After the stressful week she’d had with Matt, it was a relief to have the easiness back in their relationship.
With things between them back on even footing, Hannah fell into a routine of class in the morning, her internship in the afternoon, and evenings spent with Matt. She stayed over on weekends, but insisted on going home during the week since she had morning classes every day. The weekend after Abby’s birthday party, Chris left for several days to compete in the NFL Regional Combines, so Matt didn’t work out quite as hard. They all went out to dinner after Chris got back to celebrate. He’d been invited to the Superregionals in March, the last thing between him and the draft at the end of April.
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