by Rachel Lacey
His heart soared for a moment, thinking Jess had come over to surprise him, but this woman was blond, not brunette, and her presence sent his heart plummeting to his toes.
Sharlene.
As he watched, she slipped something under his front door and then hurried down the steps and across the sidewalk without ever glancing in his direction. He waited until she’d rounded the corner out of sight then stepped out of his SUV. With Bear at his heels, he climbed the steps to his condo in quiet fury.
He unlocked the door, and it swung open. Bear trotted inside, pausing to sniff at the white envelope on the floor. What the hell, Sharlene?
He picked it up and ripped it open. Inside was a plain, white note card.
Mark,
I’m so sorry. I made a terrible mistake coming here. I thought I could fix things, but it was too late. I’m moving on. If there’s ever anything I can do for you, please call.
Mom
A phone number was scrawled below.
Mark’s vision blurred. His fist clenched, crumpling the note into a tight wad of paper. His heart beat against his ribs like a fighter in a cage. She’d left. Again. Left him a note. Again. And then she’d had the nerve to sign it “Mom.”
She wasn’t a mother. A real mother would never walk away. Not once. Sure as hell not twice. He flung the paper across the room, fighting the urge to destroy something with his bare fists. Bear grabbed the crumpled ball of paper and trotted off to chew on it in her bed. He hoped she ate the damn thing.
It was better this way. Better that Sharlene had left before he’d done something extraordinarily stupid like give her another chance.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
On Monday afternoon, Jessica swung her backpack over her shoulder and pulled the front door shut behind her. Ethan’s red Jeep idled in the driveway. She drew in a breath and smiled. Getting lost in the woods with Mark tonight sounded a little bit scary and a whole lot exhilarating. Maybe it was crazy, but she couldn’t wait. It had been almost a week since her “sibling intervention,” and she was starting to think Bren and Nicole were on to something with their plan for her and Mark.
“You know you don’t have to go to this much trouble to get him in the sack,” Ethan said from the driver’s seat, grinning at her.
She shot Mark a look, but he kept his eyes straight ahead. No way he’d spilled the dirt on their relationship, which meant Gabby must have done the honors. So much for keeping things under wraps, but after her conversation with Nicole and Brennan, she wasn’t sure she cared. “No sacks where we’re going, Ethan. Get your mind out of the gutter.” She winked at him as she climbed into the backseat of the Jeep.
Ethan laughed himself silly while Mark remained stony-faced. Jessica just shook her head as she buckled her seatbelt. They drove out of Haven, not so far from the spot she and Mark had camped beneath the stars to watch the meteor shower. Ethan guided the Jeep down a dirt road that became little more than two tire ruts in the earth, pulling to a stop when they reached the end.
“Have fun, kids,” Ethan said. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Mark shot him a look before stepping out of the Jeep. Jessica climbed out of the back, slinging her backpack over her shoulders. Mark had brought a pack of his own, larger than hers and with a tent rolled beneath.
“Isn’t that cheating?” she asked as they stood there, watching Ethan drive away.
He shook his head. “Many hikers who get lost have basic camping supplies. We’ll go over how to build a shelter, but we’ll be sleeping in the tent tonight.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t going to argue about spending the night in a tent with Mark versus lying on a bed of leaves and sticks. “So how does this work?”
“Well, we’re going to operate as though we’re lost hikers, more or less, although I’ll know where we are the whole time, and I’ve got a sat phone in my pack that could bring the cavalry our way should we need it for any reason.”
“That’s good to know.”
“So the first thing we’d want to do in any version of this scenario is take stock of our supplies.” He set his backpack on the ground. “I’ll also go over a few things that are helpful to have, things you might not usually keep with you, but after you’ve spent the night roughing it without them, you’ll remember to pack in case you ever face this scenario in real life.”
“Okay.” She crouched beside him, watching with interest as he went over all the things he had packed—and she wasn’t sad to discover he’d brought food for them either. She hadn’t exactly been looking forward to foraging for leaves and berries for dinner.
“One thing you always want to keep in your backpack is a compass,” he said, holding his up. “And make sure you know how to read it.”
“I know how to read a compass.”
“You’d be surprised how many people don’t. It’s easy to get turned around out here. If you’ve got a compass, you can at least keep yourself walking in a straight line. What you don’t want to do is wander around in circles while search and rescue are trying to track you. Generally, you want to locate a water source—which is never too far away out here—make shelter, then stay put and wait for rescue.”
Jessica nodded. “Got it.”
“I’ve packed us enough water for the trip, but we’re going to start by searching for water because if this were real, you wouldn’t know how long you’re going to be out here. Now where do you think we should look?” He paused and looked up at her.
“Um.” She looked around. Aside from the barely visible path Ethan had taken to drop them here, all she could see were trees in every direction. Dense trees, and lots of them. “We could look for someplace with better visibility, like a hillside. Or climb a tree.”
“Good thinking,” he said. “And be on the lookout for the type of terrain where you find water, often a ravine or a valley. Also worth mentioning, always tell someone before you go hiking. Let them know where you’re going and when you expect to be back. If no one knows where you are, no one’s going to come looking for you.”
“Right.” She followed him into the woods, cringing inwardly as she thought of how often she struck out alone in these woods without telling anyone. With the dizziness and other problems she’d been having lately, she needed to put an end to that practice.
“If no one’s looking for you, and you’re not in a well-hiked area, then staying put probably isn’t your best option. You want to find water and follow it. Streams and rivers always flow downhill, and people tend to build stuff near them so chances are, if you keep following the stream, you’re going to find help sooner or later.”
“Makes sense,” she said.
Mark kept talking, pointing things out as they walked. He showed her deer tracks that might indicate they were near a water source and what kind of vegetation to look for.
“Are we going to eat any of this stuff?” she asked with a smile, fingering a leafy bush as she walked past.
“The best rule of thumb out here is that if you aren’t one hundred percent sure what it is, you shouldn’t eat it. You can survive a long time without food, and you can cause a lot more harm than good when you start foraging for yourself. But yeah”—he turned and gave her a smile—“I can show you what to eat if you want to be adventurous.”
“I do,” she answered without hesitation. Both on this excursion and with Mark. She was counting on tonight bringing them closer, in more ways than one. He’d been distant the last few days, spending more and more time out here in the woods by himself. Maybe coming out here with him today would help her better understand this side of him. They walked on, crunching through the thick bed of fallen leaves. The air was crisp and cool today, and she was comfortable in her fleece jacket and knit hat.
Mark stopped. “Listen.”
She did. The wind rustled through branches overhead, and a bird squawked somewhere nearby. But there in the background…the faint babbling of…
“Water!”
He nodded. “L
ittle creek up ahead.”
She smiled softly. “You knew that the whole time, didn’t you?”
He gave her an amused look. “Course I did.”
“It’s hard to even pretend to be lost when I’m with you.” She stepped forward and slipped her hand in his.
He tugged her up against him. “Pretending you’re lost isn’t as important to what we’re doing as learning valuable skills to use if you ever find yourself in a real survival situation in the future.”
“True.” She kept her hand in his as they walked, enjoying the warmth and strength of his grip. They reached the stream, and Mark spent the next hour showing her how to hunt for crayfish and other potential food sources in the water before turning his attention to shelter for the night.
“We’ll build a shelter for practice, then I’ll pitch the tent,” he said.
“Great.” Building a makeshift shelter sounded fun, especially knowing she’d be sleeping in the relative luxury of Mark’s tent tonight. They gathered pine straw and leaves for the flooring.
“Ideally, you want several inches of this stuff underneath you this time of year,” he said. “It’s good insulation. The ground gets cold at night. Hypothermia is a real danger for lost hikers.”
They selected a spot near a fallen tree, using its trunk as one side of the shelter. They wove pine branches together to form a protective canopy, and then their shelter was complete. Jessica crawled inside, looking up at the pine boughs overhead. Beneath her, the bedding was thick and soft. She couldn’t sit up without poking her head through the roof, and it was just wide enough for the two of them, but somehow the tight quarters felt cozy instead of claustrophobic. “You know, this isn’t half bad.”
“Not at all.” Mark leaned back, resting his hands behind his head.
“You’ve slept in worse places.” She lay beside him.
“Yeah.”
“Tell me,” she said softly.
“The desert’s a tough place,” he said, staring into the branches above him. “Your mouth gets so dry you can taste the sand. Sometimes I still taste it.”
She slid closer, silently urging him to keep talking.
“Can’t sleep out in the open. We’d look for caves, places like that.”
“You’ve slept in a cave?” For some reason, that creeped her out. She imagined bats swooping overhead and spiders crawling over them as they slept.
“A cave was the best-case scenario. Protected from the elements, and the enemy. We’d take turns standing guard. But there was one night…” He paused, glancing over at her.
She curled herself against his right side. “Yes?”
“Whole mission went to shit. Me and a couple guys were stranded overnight in hostile territory with no cover. We had to burrow down in the sand with our combat helmets over our faces and pray like hell we’d make it until morning.”
She blew out a breath. “I can’t imagine what that’s like. I really can’t.”
“You aren’t supposed to. You shouldn’t.” He wrapped his left arm around her, drawing her in closer.
“You were a natural, weren’t you? The danger, the adrenaline, all of it.” She could feel the steady thump of his heart beneath her cheek.
“Yeah.”
“You never would have left if you hadn’t been injured.”
“No.” It was a simple answer to a loaded question. If he hadn’t been injured, they never would have gotten this second chance.
“Do you miss it?”
He nodded. “It was the first time I’d been part of something like that, a team, a unit. Someplace I really belonged.”
Oh, Mark. Her throat tightened painfully. He’d always seemed to prefer to be on his own, but had it been by choice or simply because he’d never felt like he truly belonged anywhere else? “Your unit was like a family to you.”
He didn’t respond, still staring up into the pine boughs overhead.
“And then you lost them too.” She blinked back tears. For the first time, she felt like she understood some of what he’d been through, what it had been like for him growing up on his own. Never to have a place or a family to call his own. “I’m so sorry.”
“No reason to be,” he said, his voice slightly gruff. “No one on my team lost their life, which was damn near miraculous. I’m still in one piece…well, mostly.” He cracked a small smile.
“You must have felt so alone again though, having to leave your team behind.”
“That was tough,” he admitted.
Jessica watched him for a moment in silence, her heart bursting with all kinds of emotions. Huge, powerful things she’d felt only once before, and only for the man beside her. “Thank you for sharing this with me. It really means a lot.”
“You mean a lot, Jess. You always have.” His arm tightened around her.
And dammit, there was no denying it. She was in love with him. Maybe she’d never stopped. “You too, Mark. So much.”
“When things were tough, I’d think about you.” His voice was gruff.
And she had officially turned to mush in his arms. “Really?”
“You got me through a lot of long nights.”
She blinked back more tears. “I don’t…I don’t know what to say.”
In answer, he tugged her on top of him, lifting his head to kiss her. She met his lips, kissing him back with a hunger that bordered on desperation. He’d opened up to her in a way he never had before, in a way that maybe he hadn’t with anyone else before. And in doing so, he’d given her hope that there might be a future for them after all.
She lay sprawled across him, his hard contours softened by the layers of clothing between them, but there was no mistaking the bulge in his jeans, pressing urgently against her. They kissed as their hands explored and the air grew thick and hot between them.
“Mark,” she whispered. A shiver ran through her as he kissed her neck, his scruff teasing her delicate skin.
He shifted her to the side and reached outside their shelter for his backpack. “You don’t want to get naked in pine straw. Trust me.”
She pressed her hand against his heart. “I trust you.”
* * *
Mark lay tangled in Jess’s arms inside the sleeping bag. One of her thighs rested between his. Her face was pressed against his neck, and she was breathing just as hard as he was.
“Wow,” she whispered.
“Yeah.” He tightened his arms around her. Wow seemed to describe everything between them these days. He’d been lost, adrift on his own, for most of his life. But when she was in his arms? He was home. It didn’t matter if they were in a makeshift shelter in the middle of the woods or her bed, as long as he had Jess.
“I don’t want to move…like at all,” she murmured. “But I’m starving.”
“Same.” As if to prove his point, his stomach rumbled like a hungry animal.
Jess laughed, still making no move to leave the sleeping bag. “So what’s for supper, Mr. Survival Expert?”
“PB and J sandwiches and beef jerky, and if you’re still feeling adventurous, I can show you how to get to the edible part of pine bark.”
She lifted her head to give him a funny look. “Pine bark?”
“It’s surprisingly nutritious.”
She smiled, looking so goddamn beautiful, all glowing and mussed from sex. “I’m definitely feeling adventurous today so let’s do it.”
“After you,” he said, since she was still lying on top of him.
“Fine, fine,” she grumbled as she reached behind him to unzip the sleeping bag. She slid out, reaching for her clothes as the outside chill reached their overheated skin. She winced, reaching for her left knee. “Ouch.”
He reached around her and grabbed his boxers. “You okay?”
“Tweaked my knee again.” She was already scrambling into her clothes, distracting him as she pulled on her bra and panties, then covered them with the green shirt she’d been wearing earlier.
“Hold on a minute.” He sto
pped her as she reached for her jeans.
“I’m hungry, Mark. Can’t you wait until after dinner?” she teased, pushing his hand away.
“Your knee.” It was visibly swollen, and as he reached for her, he discovered it was hot to the touch. “Did you ever get this looked at?”
She shook her head. “It stopped bothering me before I ever got around to it.”
He reached into his backpack for the Ace bandage in his first aid kit. “Next lesson: Always have a first aid kit in your pack.”
“Got it.” She nodded. “Wish I’d had one that day we were scoping out the new land.”
“The day you came down with the flu.” He began to wrap the bandage around her swollen knee. “Jess, what if you didn’t sprain your knee that day? What if this is another symptom?”
She froze, eyeing him warily. “A symptom of what?”
“I don’t know.” He thought for a minute. “Did you mention joint pain to your doctor?”
“I…I can’t remember. I think I did, back when this all started.”
He finished with the bandage. There was something nagging at him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Well, make sure you mention it the next time you go in, okay?”
She nodded. “I will. Thanks.”
They finished getting dressed and crawled out of the shelter. The sun dipped low over the trees across the valley, casting the hillside in its amber light.
“It’s beautiful,” Jess said from behind him.
He nodded. “How’s the knee?”
“Sore.”
“Maybe we should head out now before it gets dark.”
She shook her head. “It’ll be sore whether I’m here or at home, and I’ve got to hike out of here either way. I don’t want to leave, Mark.”
He didn’t like it, but he couldn’t argue with her either. “It’s illegal to build a campfire out here. Even though I’ve got a special permit from the park service to camp overnight with clients as part of the course, they still won’t let us start a fire. But if you were in a true survival situation, you’d need to break that rule to stay alive so we’re going to prep a fire we’re not going to light.”