“I know this might be statin’ the obvious, but you’re still so angry at me.”
“Are you kidding me?” Dani laughed and started to pace. “You’re damn right I am. Aren’t you? That last year, I can’t remember a day when you weren’t! Don’t even get me started on the way you left.”
“No, I’m not angry. At least, not really.”
Dani stopped and stared. Rebecca stared right back.
“Wh…what?”
“Not like you are,” Rebecca clarified. “I’m not the same person I was.”
Dani watched her.
Rebecca hadn’t come here with some kind of speech prepared. Winging it seemed to be working. So, she continued to go with it. “I think…all that anger you have means somethin’.”
“No. No, it doesn’t.”
“Dani—”
“I said no!” Dani’s hands were fisted at her side and her chest heaved. “Why would you even go there? We were miserable together.”
Rebecca stood. “Not always.”
“Are you serious right now? I doubt we could even be friends, but either way, you need to leave.” Her tone was soft but no less guttural.
There was so much more Rebecca wanted to say, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d get the chance. She nodded and slowly made her way toward the door.
“I’ll tell Rick you came by.” Dani’s voice was wooden, monotone.
Rebecca paused but didn’t turn around. “I told you, and I know you heard me. I didn’t come for him.” Not waiting for a response, she pulled the door open and left.
Chapter 12
Dani arched her back, dragging her nipples across the sheets, which only added another layer to her pleasure. She bit into the pillow pressed against her face. She could barely breathe, but it was worth it. So worth it. Even though she was on her knees, Dani spread her legs wider, doing her best to keep her ass in the air. She turned her head and moaned as Becca’s hands trailed up the inside of her thighs. This time, her touch was light, barely there, but still electric. Yet again, her fingertips stopped short of Dani’s sex, brushing through the wetness that clung to Dani’s skin instead.
“Becca.” Dani drew the name out into a needy plea. Her body was poised to erupt like a rumbling volcano, and with all the build up to this point, the explosion was going to be magnificent. Her skin felt tight and overstimulated, as if she’d grabbed hold of a live wire, but Dani had no intention of letting go. In fact, she had plans to wrap herself in it. “Touch it…”
Becca released a loud, shaky breath in response, but instead moved her hands back over the curve of Dani’s ass.
“Please!” The muscles in Dani’s legs quivered in anticipation while the rest of her shook with need. Becca’s fingertips went lower still, grasping and parting Dani’s cheeks. She held her open. Cool air fluttered against her sex, making her clench desperately at nothingness. Dani whimpered.
Becca groaned.
Ready to beg in earnest, Dani murmured, “Please, Bec—” She didn’t get to finish, crying out as Becca slid her fingers inside her. Dani’s entire world shrank and centered itself between her legs, and when Becca slumped against her, pressing their naked bodies together from back to front, she cracked open all the way down to the core.
Dani’s eyes snapped open. Just like yesterday morning, her hand was already between her legs, working furiously. Seconds later—and in case she wasn’t alone in the apartment—she put her other hand over her mouth to keep from crying out as she came. Her body jerked with aftershocks for several minutes. She whimpered each time. It was difficult to catch her breath when her body refused to cooperate. Dani threw her arm over her eyes and waited for the world to become normal again.
Minutes passed. Slowly, Dani took her arm away and stared up at the ceiling, barely seeing it. Her room was dark except for the light filtering in from underneath the bathroom door. Dani lay as still as possible. Suddenly, she laughed, and it wasn’t the shy kind either. It was loud, boisterous, and straight from the diaphragm. After having such a powerful release, she was still hungry for more. Her growing frustration left her empty. She covered her mouth with her hand again, getting a whiff of herself, and just like that, the laugh became a sob.
After all the pain, Dani had no business thinking about Becca and reminiscing about how it felt to have all that intoxicating fierceness focused on her. Regardless, her body sure missed it. Maybe the rest of her did too, and that’s why Dani had let her in a couple days ago. No. This was insane. “Damn it.”
What was going on? What was she doing? This need and everything else she felt should have been firmly behind her, but it wasn’t. That knowledge shook her down to her bones and so much deeper.
“Damn it!” She covered her face with her hands. A minute ago, she was worried about Rick hearing her, and now she was practically yelling.
Dani wanted nothing more than to wipe her hands clean of the whole situation. She sobbed harder, knowing that wasn’t entirely true. Becca wasn’t the same woman from four years ago—that much had become obvious. Dani sensed patience and maturity mingled with her ever-present intensity.
She peered up at the ceiling again. Who did that make her? She’d been far from patient or understanding, and she hadn’t even touched on kindness. Did that make her the child in this scenario? She skimmed through her behavior over the past several weeks. Her breathing shallowed. She squeezed her eyes shut.
Just because she was still drawn to Becca. Just because Becca had changed and was within arm’s reach didn’t mean Dani had to put herself within touching distance. Dani kicked her covers away as anger, familiar as a friend, eased over her. It splayed in all directions, inward at herself and outward toward Becca. While coming home might have been the best thing for Becca, Dani was almost sure that it had been the worst thing for her. The door to their past had been kicked open, and everything behind it was bleeding into the present. Dani was going to try like hell to at least give the illusion that it could be closed and locked again.
She sat up and reached out, moving slowly as if her limbs had turned to stone and patted the nightstand in search of her glasses. Dani’s heart raced, and deep inside her, something simmered rapidly close to boiling, leaving her hot, cold, scared, and balanced precariously on the razor’s edge.
Rebecca swirled her cup to ensure the Coke inside was as cold as possible. It was an extra-large cup from Popeye’s Chicken that she’d kept from the night before and filled to the brim before leaving her house. She took a long pull from her straw and swore she could actually feel the caffeine working through her system.
“Oh yeahhh.” Rebecca didn’t drink Coke just because it was sweet and tasted like heaven, although those reasons were compelling enough.
She walked into the squad room. Alvin was on the phone while Mark and Emmet each pecked away on their computers. Alvin acknowledged her with a nod, but she got nothing from the others. As she closed in on her desk, Rebecca stopped and stared at the refrigerator pack of Coke and the box emboldened with a Panera Bread logo that had been set on the edge.
Emmet looked up then. “Hey! We haven’t even opened it yet. Bear claws. What cop doesn’t like bear claws? I wonder, though, did cops start liking donuts because that’s what TV cops ate or vice versa? Chicken or the egg? We also seem to have a thing for tacos and hotdogs, but I don’t like either.”
Rebecca eased into her chair and blinked. “That’s a lotta words, and I haven’t even finished my Coke yet.”
He glanced down at the twelve-pack on her desk. “That should be enough to last the day, right?”
She rolled her eyes. “Funny, but thanks.” Rebecca unclipped the holster from her belt and shoved it along with her service weapon inside her top desk drawer before locking it.
Emmet grinned. “It’s from all of us, and you’re welcome.”
She took another long pull from her drink and flashe
d a smile at him. This whole setup felt good. Shit, maybe even great. Something needed to be to balance out everything else.
“Hey, Rebecca?”
She swiveled her chair in Mark’s direction. “Yeah?”
“Mrs. Dorset called that lawyer friend of mine and got herself a restraining order. He’s even trying to get them back in court to challenge the custody order.”
“Good to hear.”
Mark nodded. “Let’s consider that one put to bed. I got a lead on one of our open cases. You coming?” He stood and walked toward her.
Rebecca opened the box of bear claws and snagged two in one hand and her Coke in the other. “Let’s go. Somebody put that in the fridge for me?” She pointed at the pack of soda with a bear claw.
“I got it,” Alvin said from behind her.
She grabbed a napkin, shoved the pastries at Mark, and retrieved her holster and gun from her desk.
Mark tossed her the keys and opened the door on the passenger side of the sedan. “Just don’t kill me or anybody else.”
“No promises.” Rebecca slid into the driver seat and set her drink in the cup holder.
Barely ten minutes later, Rebecca was blaring the horn. “I’m gonna turn on the lights.”
Mark laughed. “Aren’t we past giving out traffic tickets? Besides, she’s going the speed limit.”
“It’s Atlanta, and everybody knows the speed limit is really eighty-five!”
“On the interstate,” Mark reminded her.
Rebecca grumbled.
He laughed again.
“So, how’d you end up in Missing Persons so early in your career?”
Cute. He was trying to distract her and get her to open up at the same time. Rebecca decided to humor him. “It was the only openin’, and I took a few courses specializin’ in the area.”
“Yeah? Nothing more to it than that?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Rebecca saw him staring and waiting.
She snorted. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle. Rebecca glanced at Mark. Here was her chance to till the soil and make it just right for cultivating strong, deep roots. She cleared her throat. “My great aunt raised me ’cause nobody else wanted to.”
“Ah, so you were kinda lost and she found you.”
“Nothin’ as simple as that. She took me in, and in her own way, she tried. I pretty much stayed lost until I was ready to find myself.”
Mark went quiet. He leaned forward and turned on the radio, putting it on 98.9, better known as 99X. The volume was just right, not overpowering or too soft.
“You got any more questions about the case we’re working on?”
Rebecca shook her head. “Nope, I’m clear.” She sucked in a breath and released it slowly. It felt good to reach out to someone new, especially since he was making an effort to understand her.
As the hours passed, it became abundantly clear that no matter what Dani did, Becca invaded her thoughts, and to say that she was beyond peeved was a gross understatement. Memories and recent encounters played in her mind like some movie reel and included the way Becca looked at her both then and now, like she could swallow her whole, no matter if they were fighting, fucking, laughing, or doing nothing at all.
Dani had been raised to be confident and driven, but loving Becca and being loved by her made her feel like she could have it all, which had turned out to be a lie.
She slammed the iPad against the counter at the nurses station, hard enough to make some of the people around her jump and others stare. Good thing it had a case. Dani caught the gaze of one of the nurses behind the desk. “I’m taking a break. No pages unless it’s an emergency.” Time to herself wasn’t going to help matters, but it would at least give her a minute to recoup so she didn’t start taking things out on the people around her.
The nurse nodded.
Good. Maybe she could grab a snack and head up to the roof.
She walked into the cafeteria. After grabbing a bottle of juice and a couple of other small items, Dani stood in line. It moved slowly which didn’t help her nerves any. Needing something to occupy her, she peered out at the sea of tables. The people talking, laughing, and possibly crying, fed into the decibel level.
Dani spotted Rick and Sandra at a table together. He was talking and waving his hands animatedly while she laughed. For some reason, that irked her even more. A few minutes later, she paid for her snacks and headed straight for Rick’s table. Maybe talking to him would cheer her up, or at least distract her. Plus, with the possibility of him leaving… Well, she really didn’t want to think about that.
As she got closer, Rick looked her way and smiled. Dani wasn’t sure if she returned the gesture. It didn’t feel like it.
“Hey!”
“Hey, Rick.” Dani shifted her eyes to Sandra, but she didn’t give her more than that. The smile on Sandra’s face faltered, but without further acknowledgment, Dani returned her attention to Rick. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
With raised eyebrows, Rick’s glanced at Dani then at Sandra and back again. “Well, is it somethin’ that can wait?”
Dani took a deep breath in an effort to put a cap on her spiraling mood. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll catch up with you in a bit or I’ll see you at home.”
“Okay. Sounds good.”
She was a few steps from the exit when someone touched the back of her arm. Dani turned around in surprise to see Sandra.
“Okay, I’m not naïve enough to think just because we had sex we’d be glued to the hip. I’m not in your inner circle, but I at least thought we were friendly. Rick told me that you found out that we were a thing a few months back. Is that why you gave me that look and have been ignoring me?”
“What?” Dani was now completely irate. “You’re not even on my radar, but you’re right. It did kind of squick me out to know that me and my best friend had been with the same woman. I wonder how many more people I’m associated with know how good you are with your mouth.”
Sandra’s face flushed red, and her eyes widened. “Excuse me? Did you just call me a whore?” She shook her head and frowned. “Wow, is this because I’m bi? I’ve heard enough crap from straight people. I’m not confused. I had sex with you because I liked you.”
Dani could see the hurt she caused just as plain as day. She crumbled. Maybe she really was a child. She could be just as petty. “No, oh God, no. That was just me being… I don’t even know what to call it anymore. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
Sandra huffed and turned, heading back to the table.
Dani met Rick’s gaze. His brow was wrinkled either in question or confusion. She wasn’t sure which. She mouthed ‘sorry’ and left.
Had she really said all that? She’d had her moments. A lot of the residents gave her a wide berth for a reason, but parts of her felt off, wrong, while the rest of her sang a different tune altogether. She hated this dissonance, and she placed the blame squarely on Becca’s shoulders. As soon as Dani could, she was going to tell Becca where she could get off. It wasn’t rational, but it worked for her.
Dani was never more grateful for the boundaries she’d cultivated between her professional and personal life. Despite the emotions boiling inside her, she put a smile on her face as she entered one of her patient’s room later to gather information for the attending.
She stopped in the doorway and blinked. Avery Johnson, her seven-year-old leukemia patient, was perched on top of her father’s shoulders. Her sister, Mya, was on her mother’s. The adults stood against the far wall by the window.
Avery was pale, but her smile was huge. Her younger sister squealed and bucked in excitement.
“Okay, remember, first one to the door wins,” Kirk reminded them.
His wife, Beth, nodded and glanced at Dani. “Dr. Russell, you can be our referee.”
Avery was extremely sic
k and yet her family was able to find a moment of lightheartedness and hope. Maybe other doctors would have tried to deter them, citing Avery’s dwindling energy level, but not this doctor. The heaviness dissipated from Dani’s shoulders. Right then, her problems seemed trivial, even if she suspected the feeling wasn’t going to last long. “I’m in. I can record it too, if you want?”
Beth smiled. “Thank you.”
Chapter 13
Rebecca watched in awe as Peyton rubbed herself all over Mark. To add insult to injury, she purred loudly as well. “What the hell? You have catnip in your pockets or somethin’?”
Mark shrugged. “Pussies love me.”
“Oh, my God. Get outta my house. I can’t believe you said that out loud.” She pointed toward the door but grinned as well.
He laughed. “I meant cats. That’s all.”
She eyed him up and down. “Uh-huh.”
“Seriously. I might be a cop, but I don’t have to fit the stereotype and talk like one, do I? Since I have a kid, I try to watch my language or my wife would skin me alive.”
“Sounds like a good Southern woman.”
“That she is.” Dislodging Peyton, he got up off the couch. “Okay, time for me to go.”
“You don’t want a beer or anythin’? It’s the least I can do.” Rebecca stood as well.
Mark raised a brow. “You mean you have something besides Coke in your fridge?”
Rebecca snorted. “Occasionally. I may even drink water from time to time. You sure you don’t want anythin’?”
“I’m good. I’m no hero. All I did was give you a jump.”
“And followed me to the auto parts store and home.” Rebecca rolled her eyes slightly.
“I would have done it for anybody. Well, except maybe Emmet, especially if he’s getting on my nerves.”
“I can definitely understand that. He tries so hard.”
“Very.” Mark widened his eyes in emphasis.
“Well, thank you for the help and bein’ the first visitor to sit on the couch since I took off the plastic.” Rebecca walked him toward the door.
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