“Wait. I just wanted to say that you can do this. It’s weird at first to spill your guts to a stranger, but if she’s right for you, I bet it gets easier.”
“Becca.” Dani didn’t mean for her voice to be so soft, but it was hard not to at this point.
“Yeah?” Becca sounded so hopeful.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Call me later or somethin’ and let me know how it went?”
“Okay, I will.”
“Good luck.” Becca hung up, but Dani kept the phone pressed to her ear.
Rebecca put her phone back in the little cubby between the driver and passenger seat, then completely refocused on driving.
“Look at you, all glowy and lit up like a Christmas tree.” Mark laughed.
“Shut up.” Rebecca cut her eyes at him.
“You don’t scare me. You never have, even though I know you can probably kick my ass no matter how little you are.”
He sounded more and more like Rick every day, but Rick with a twist. “It’s good to know you’re aware.”
“I am. I totally am.” He paused. “Sooo, things seem like they’re getting better between you and your ex.”
“They’re gettin’ somethin’. I’m just takin’ things as they come.”
“The thing that broke you up still an issue?”
Rebecca went quiet. It took her a minute to figure out how to answer his question. “I don’t know. She hasn’t really taken responsibility for her part in things. I do know that much.”
“That don’t bother you?”
“Sometimes, yeah. It scares me too, but apparently not enough to stay away from her. At least right now.”
Mark’s only response was a light hum.
“Sayin’ all that out loud makes me sound pathetic.” Rebecca glanced at him.
He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t. Makes you hopeful and a bit stupid.”
Caught off guard by his response, Rebecca laughed. “I like that a lot better than pathetic.”
“Bet you do. You love her?”
Rebecca didn’t hesitate. “I could again if she lets me.”
“Hope she catches on to that.”
“Me too.” Rebecca changed lanes when she saw their exit up ahead. Speaking out to him and to the universe made things more real somehow.
“Good talk.” Mark was smiling; she could tell. His cell rang, and he answered it right away. “Detective Strong.”
Rebecca did her best not to eavesdrop, but it was hard with him being so close.
“Yeah, thanks for the update.” He hung up. “Damn, that’s at least semi-good news.”
“What?”
“The DA is willing to plead out the Dorset case, and with the whole mess making the news, Steve, that lawyer I told her about, found a judge that will listen about the whole custody situation. Hopefully, they won’t completely yank parental rights away from Gwen. She’s like the poster child for mitigating circumstances.”
“Hope not. What’s the plea?” Rebecca asked.
“Aggravated assault, but Steve stressed that it was in done in prevention of crime and the DA accepted that. She’ll get a couple years’ probation since she doesn’t have a record.” Mark sounded relieved.
“Good. Sometimes shit really does work out.”
Dani pulled in behind Becca’s car and turned off the ignition. She hadn’t called or anything to see if this was okay, and she wasn’t sure what had made her come here instead of going straight home. Was it just because she wanted to share news about her first therapy appointment? Was it because she wanted to see Becca? More than likely a combination of both, with a little bit of this and that thrown in, to guide her. Regardless, Dani was determined to see it through. If Becca didn’t want Dani in her home, she’d leave, but deep down, she knew she wasn’t going to be turned away. She pocketed her keys and got out of her car.
When she got to the screen door, Dani could hear and see distorted black-and-white images from the television. She let herself into the porch area and rang the doorbell. The sound stopped, and the people on TV ceased all movement as well. Seconds later, Becca opened the door. She frowned. “Everythin’ okay?”
Dani nodded and smiled. “Yes, I hope I’m not bothering you.”
“No. Got home early, so I’m watchin’ a movie to pass the time. I was hopin’ to hear from you, but this works too.” Becca stepped behind the door, giving Dani plenty of space to come in.
Dani took off her jacket and laid it over the back of the couch. She glanced at the TV and back at Becca. She knew the movie well. “The Children’s Hour. Ugh. I still don’t get how you can stomach that movie. It was probably the onset of the dead lesbian trope.”
“I know, I know, but it’s like a train wreck that, once I put it on, I can’t stop watchin’. If you’re stayin’ for a while, we can watch somethin’ else if you want?” Becca brushed by Dani on her way back to the couch, bringing heat with her but leaving a shiver of awareness behind.
“No, this is fine.” Dani sat down. Becca did too, leaving the habitual cushion between them. Dani expected the movie to play again, but it remained on pause. She looked at Becca only to find her gaze already on her.
Dani didn’t even try to turn away. The living room expanded, but the world shrank to include just the two of them. Dani forgot herself for a moment, and words just dribbled out of her mouth. “Where’s the cat?”
Becca tilted her head, studying her as if she had trouble understanding. “Uh, I’m sure she heard the doorbell. Give her a couple minutes to come be nosey.”
Silence stretched between them, but Dani’s gaze didn’t waver. She nearly came out of her skin when Peyton jumped up on the cushion between them. Becca chuckled. Dani took that moment to breathe. “You can take the movie off pause, if you want.”
Becca scratched Peyton behind the ears, causing her to purr loudly, and when she trailed her hand down her back, the cat arched into the touch.
Dani was mesmerized. Becca said something, but she wasn’t sure what it was. “I’m sorry. What?”
“I said I changed my mind. I don’t want to keep watchin’.” Becca smiled, and it seemed to get bigger by the end of the sentence. “And I asked you how your appointment went.”
She’d missed all that? “Oh, it was…different.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Well, she was smiling so hard at first it started to freak me out.”
Becca blinked and then she laughed so loud that Peyton ran away. Dani bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling. “I asked her to stop. She did. Then she laughed and apologized.”
“You’re makin’ that up.”
Dani put a hand over her chest. “Swear to God, I’m not.”
“Well, that’s startin’ things off with a bang.”
“I know. I really think she did it on purpose to see if I’d say anything.”
“It worked.”
“Yes. It all just took off after that.” Dani shrugged.
“So, you like her?”
“I think so. She told me to call her by her first name, Patti, and for some reason, I can’t think her name without putting Peppermint in front of it.”
Becca threw her head back and laughed even harder.
It wasn’t like Dani hadn’t seen her do that hundreds, maybe thousands, of times before, but this time held her attention unlike any other. Becca’s hazel eyes were bright with amusement, and her nose scrunched at the top as she continued to chuckle.
“I can’t remember the last time we talked like this.”
“I can,” Becca said softly.
The moment seeped into Dani, dribbling slowly like molasses. It was scary but not overwhelmingly so. Still, she let it push her forward, and Dani continued to talk. By the time she stopped, the DVD had reverted back to the main
menu.
“I should probably go.” Dani scooted forward and stood. Becca did as well. She moved to the other side of the coffee table, letting Dani go by first.
Dani opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. She turned toward Becca.
“You know, everythin’ you said coulda been relayed through a phone call.” Becca crossed her arms over her chest and rocked back and forth as a nice gust of wind came along, but her gaze was soft, watchful.
“I didn’t want to, and thank you.” Without thought, Dani stepped closer and pressed her lips against Becca’s cheek.
Moving quickly, Becca turned her head, bringing their lips dangerously close.
Everything stopped for Dani and then flared back to life within seconds. She was floating away, needing something to hold on to, so Dani grabbed Becca’s shirt at the bottom, balling it into her fist.
Becca’s chest heaved, and it was then that Dani realized that the only sound was their ragged breathing.
Heat pooled into her stomach and flashed outward. Dani’s body developed a mind of its own. Yanking Becca by the shirt, she pulled her closer.
Becca sucked in a deep breath, and it quivered coming out. “Uh, you should probably go.”
Dani watched as each word fell from Becca’s lips, but she was confused by their meaning. She wanted them close like this, straining and needy. Didn’t she?
Becca’s eyes were nearly black, and her heart was beating hard enough to make the artery in her neck pulse.
Dani was tempted to just take like she had before, but Becca stepped away. Her expression was pinched as if she were in pain. Dani’s confidence wavered, and her fear went up a few notches. She dropped her hand and moved back, looking down at her feet.
“No.” Becca grabbed her hand. “Don’t disappear on me like that. I wanna be sure you’re not ridin’ some type of high after everythin’ that happened today, and that you wanted to kiss me and not the person you knew four years ago.”
“Okay.” Dani nodded. The rejection still stung, even though part of her understood the reasoning behind it.
Becca squeezed her hand before letting go. “I don’t think you’ll ever know how…hard that was.” She still sounded shaken.
Maybe. Maybe not. “I better go.” Dani turned to do just that.
“Dani?”
She stopped and glanced over her shoulder at Becca. “It’s okay.”
Nothing was okay at the moment, but it would have to be.
Chapter 23
Rebecca’s phone vibrated on her desk. She finished the sentence on the report she was typing before flipping it over. There was a text from Dani waiting for her. It surprised Rebecca, pleasantly so, that even after what had happened two days back, Dani still accepted her calls and texts as well as did the same in return.
She didn’t regret pulling away but had expected the fallout to stink things up a lot more than it did. There was some awkwardness between them that resulted in extended silences and shorter calls. They hadn’t really talked about what happened yet, but Rebecca had no intention of letting that fly. She’d given Dani some space, but Rebecca wasn’t going to let things fester. Was she scared that the conversation would set them back? Yeah, she was, but that was fixable. An implosion later on? Maybe not so much.
Sandra talked to me today.
She unlocked her phone to text back.
Rick’s Sandra?
Yes. We had a falling out but it was my fault.
So that’s what Rick meant when he said Dani had hurt people that he cared about.
Sounds like things r going in the right direction then.
I’m glad. I think he really likes her.
Me too. Rebecca wrote back.
It was strange at first knowing we had sex with the same woman.
Rebecca blinked then stared at the text. It was like she was in a car that screeched to stop at a red light, and while she waited, jealousy wiggled its way inside.
We weren’t seeing her at the same time.
Rebecca rolled her eyes. She was only human, but she was totally being ridiculous as well. Ok.
That’s been the highlight of my day so far. How about you? Dani asked.
Talking to u is mine. Rebecca typed out. She stared at her phone. No ellipses to hint that Dani was responding. Maybe Dani was doing the exact same thing she was, looking down at her cell and trying to figure out what to say next.
Finally, three little dots appeared.
Lunch is over for me. I have some charting to catch up on.
Disappointment had a taste to it similar to burnt food. Rebecca had learned that a while back. Sadly, she was accustomed to it, but she didn’t want to be.
K. Talk later?
I’ll call you when I get home.
Rebecca put her phone face down on her desk. Hopeful and a tad stupid. Mark’s words had stuck with her. Right now, she was settling for scraps because Dani had a lot going on. But how was that different from how things used to be? Rebecca knew what she wanted—Dani, and another chance for them to get things right. Rebecca hadn’t done a damn thing to make that crystal clear, which was a total fuck up on her part. The scariest thing was that she had no idea what Dani wanted and wondered if Dani even knew.
Rebecca’s stomach twisted and left a heavy feeling behind. Despite being terrified of Dani’s response, Rebecca had to push forward and hope that Dani had changed enough, or was willing to, so history wouldn’t repeat itself. First, Dani had to admit she’d had a hand in it all. Rebecca stared at her computer screen as whatever was on it turned into an indecipherable mess.
Mark touched her shoulder as he breezed past. Rebecca stiffened even though she didn’t mean to. His chair creaked as he sat down. “You okay?”
No, she wasn’t. Rebecca didn’t answer him.
“Becca?”
Rebecca’s head snapped up. She met his gaze but didn’t correct him for what he’d done to her name. It just sounded right coming from him. “Yeah?”
“You need to talk or something? We pretty much have the place to ourselves.”
She did need to talk, but not to him. There was nothing Mark could say or do. “No, not right now.”
He looked at her a beat longer, before nodding and turning away.
Dani opened the refrigerator door and scanned the contents. She reached for a container of leftover pasta she’d enjoyed at lunch earlier. It was good enough for dinner as well. The apartment was quiet and felt drab like it always did when Rick wasn’t there. However, for some reason, Dani experienced an extra pang of loneliness tonight in his absence. Maybe she missed him more now that things were settling between them.
Maybe being inside her own head wasn’t the best place to be and she needed a familiar face around. Her day had flown by, and, except for Sandra smiling and joking with her about Rick, it had been pretty uneventful. So, it seemed her night was going to be more of the same.
All she had to do was pick up the phone. Becca could make her laugh, make her want, make her need. Dani put the container in the microwave and opened the drawer to get a plastic fork. She hadn’t called her yet because every time she talked with her, Becca’s rejection was front and center. She understood the reasoning behind it, but that didn’t mean she liked it. This whole thing between them had the potential to become ultra-complicated.
The basest part of her wanted to keep things simple because the thought of them being anything else petrified her. If that were the case, what had they been doing lately? Why had she allowed things to go so far? Like I have a choice. Dani shut the voice in her head down. It wasn’t helping at all.
The microwave dinged. Dani used a dish towel to remove the container. She tested the heat level of her food and then slammed the microwave closed. She’d just stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room when someone knocked at the door. Dani set her
food down on the table and stood there. Her heartbeat quickened. It could have been one of the neighbors, but Dani knew better. Regardless, she asked, “Who is it?”
“It’s me.”
Dani had already taken a few steps toward the door before she realized it.
“Dani?”
“I’m coming.” She walked closer and unlocked the door before pulling it open.
Becca stood there. Her jaw was set and her eyes intense and determined. Dani’s stomach clenched. Becca was always at her best when she had something to prove.
Dani stepped out of the way, letting her in.
“I know I shoulda called, but we need to talk.”
Dani had a feeling her food was going to be cold by the time she got to it. “Okay.” She didn’t ask if something was wrong because clearly there was. “Coke?”
Becca nodded. “Please.” Instead of sitting, she followed Dani into the kitchen. “Sorry for interrupting dinner. It smells good, but this is important.”
Becca’s gaze might as well have been a touch. It carried that much weight.
Dani nodded, and for the second time in ten minutes, she opened the refrigerator. “This is about the other night?”
“Yes.” Becca’s voice was soft, and it sounded closer than it had been a few seconds ago. Dani grabbed a Coke and turned to see Becca only a few inches away. She couldn’t breathe right with Becca this close, so in order for them to have a rational conversation, Dani stepped to the side, toward the cabinet, intent on getting a glass and a second to gather herself.
“Don’t run away from me.” Becca grabbed her arm. Her voice shook slightly.
Dani didn’t even have the chance to reach up. She set the Coke on the counter and swung around. “I was about to get you a glass.” She swallowed and tried to ignore the way Becca’s touch left her feeling scorched. “I wasn’t running.” Dani met her gaze.
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