by Wilbur Smith
Tara, my dearest, I think of you every day in this place, where the work is very hard am demanding, and I wonder about you and our baby. Perhaps it has alread, been born, I do not know, and I wonder often if it is a boy or a little girl Although what I am doing is of the greatest importance for all of us for the people of Africa, as well as for you and me- yet I find roysell longing for you. The thought of you comes to me unexpectedly in the night and in the day and it is like a knife in my chest.
Tara could not read on, her eyes were awash with tears.
'Oh Moses,' she bit her lip to prevent herself blubbering, 'I never knew you could feel like that for me." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
When I left you, I did not know where I was going, nor what awaited me here. Now everything is clear, and I know what the difficult tasks are that lie ahead of us. I know also that I will need your help. You will not refuse me, my wife? I call you 'wife' because that is how I feel towards you, now that you are carrying our child.
x It was difficult for Tara to take it in. She had never expected him to give her this kind of recognition and now she felt humbled by it.
'There is nothing that I could ever refuse you,' she whispered aloud, and her eyes raced down the sheet. She turned it over quickly and Moses had written: Once before I told you how valuable it would be if you used your family connections to keep us informed of affairs of state. Since then this has become more imperative. Your husband, Shasa Courtney, is going over to the side of the neo-fascist oppressors. Although this fills you with hatred and contempt for him, yet it is a boon we could not have expected or prayed for. Our information is that he has been promised a place in least ten years junior to Tara, barely into her twenties, but with an unusual maturity for one so young.
'My name is Victoria Dinizulu,' she introduced herself. 'My friends call me Vicky. I know you are Mrs Courtney." 'Tara,' Tara corrected her quickly. Nobody had used her surname since she had left Cape Town and it sounded a jarring note in her own ears.
The girl smiled shyly in acknowledgement. She had the serene beauty of a black madonna, the classic moon face of the high-bred Zulu with huge almond eyes and full lips, her skin the colour of dark amber, her hair plaited into an intricate pattern of tiny curls over her skull.
'Are you related to the Courtneys of Zululand?" she asked Tara.
'Old General Sean Courtney and Sir Garrick Courtney of Theuniskraal, near Ladyburg?" 'Yes." Tara tried not to show the shock she felt at the mention of those names. 'Sir Garrick was my husband's grandfather. My own sons are named Sean and Garrick after them. Why do you ask, Vicky? Do you know the family well?" 'Oh yes, Mrs Courtney - Tara." When she smiled, the Zulu girl's face seemed to glow like a dark moon. 'Long ago, during the last century, my grandfather fought at General Sean Courtney's side in the Zulu wars against Cetewayo who stole the kingship of Zululand from my family. It was my grandfather, Mbejane, who should have been king. Instead he became General Courtney's servant.
'Mbejane!" Tara cried. 'Oh yes. Sir Garrick Courtney wrote about him in his History of Zululand. He was Sean Courtney's faithful retainer until his death. I remember they came up here to the gold-' fields of the reef together and later went on to what is now Rhodesia, hunting ivory." 'You know all about that!" Vicky laughed with pleasure.
'My father used to tell me the same stories when I was a little girl. My father still lives near Theuniskraal. After my grandfather, Mbejane Dinizulu, died my father took his place as the old general's body servant. He even went to France with the general in 1916 and worked for him until the general was murdered. In his will the general left him a section of Theuniskraal for his lifetime and a pension of a thousand pounds a year. They are a fine family, the Courtneys. My old father still weeps whenever he mentions the general's name --' Vicky broke off and shook her head, suddenly perplexed and saddened. 'Life must have been so simple in those days, my grandfather and my father were hereditary chieftains and yet they were satisfied to spend their lives subservient to a white man, and strangely they loved that man and he, in his way, seemed to love them. I wonder sometimes if theirs was not the better way --' 'Do not even think that,' Tara almost hissed at her. 'The Courtneys have always been heartless robber barons, plundering and exploiting your people. Right and justice are on the side of your struggle. Never entertain the slightest doubt of that." 'You are right,' Vicky agreed firmly. 'But sometimes it's nice to think of the friendship of the general and my grandfather. Perhaps one day we could be friends again, equal friends, both sides stronger for the friendship." 'With every new oppression, with every new law passed, the prospect fades,' Tara said grimly, 'and I become more ashamed of my race." 'I don't want to be sad and intense tonight, Tara. Let's talk about happy things. You said you have sons, Seen and Garrick, named after their ancestors. Tell me about them, please." However, the thought of the children and Shasa and Weltevreden made Tara feel guilty and uncomfortable, and as soon as she could she changed the subject again.
'Now tell me about yourself, Vicky,' she insisted. 'What are you doing in Johannesburg, so far from Zululand?" 'I work at Baragwanath Hospital,' Vicky told her.
Tara knew that was one of the largest hospitals in the world, certainly the largest in the southern hemisphere, with 2400 beds and over 2000 nurses and doctors, most of them black, for the hospital catered exclusively for black patients. All hospitals, like schools and transport and most other public facilities, were strictly segregated by law, true to the grand concept of apartheid.
Vicky Dinizulu was so modest about her own achievements that Tara had to draw out of her the fact that she was a qualified theatre sister.
'But you are so young, Vicky' she protested.
'There are others younger,' the Zulu girl laughed. Her laughter had a pleasing musical lilt.
'She really is a lovely child,' Tara thought, smiling in sympathy, and then corrected herself. 'No, not a child - a clever and competent young woman." So Tara told her about her clinic at Nyanga, and the problems of malnutrition and ignorance and poverty they encountered, and Vicky related some of her experiences and the solutions they had found to the terrible challenges that faced them in caring for the physical wellbeing of a peasant population trying to adapt to an urban existence.
'Oh, I have enjoyed talking to you,' Vicky blurted out at last. 'I don't know when I have ever spoken to a white woman like this the cabinet of that barbarous regime. If you were in his confidence, it would afford us a direct inside view and knowledge of all their plans and intentions. This would be so valuable that it would be impossible to put a price upon it.
'No,' she whispered, shaking her head, sensing what was coming, and it took courage for her to read on.
I ask you, for the sake of our land and our love, that when the child has been born and you are recovered from the birth, that you return to your husband's home at Weltevreden, ask his forgiveness for your absence, tell him that you cannot live without him and his children, and do all in your power to ingratiate yourself with him and to earn his confidence once more.
'I cannot do it,' Tara whispered, and then she thought of the children, and especially of Michael, and she felt herself wavering.
'Oh Moses, you don't know what you are asking of me." She covered her eyes with her hand. 'Please don't make me do it. I have only just won my freedom - don't force me to give it up again." But the letter went on remorselessly: Every one of us will be called upon to make sacrifice in the struggle that lies ahead. Some of us may be required to lay down our very lives and I could well be one of those 'No, not you, my darling, please not you!'
However, for the loyal and true comrades there will be rewards, immediate rewards in addition to the ultimate victory of the struggle and the final liberation. If you can bring yourself to do as I ask you, then my friends here will arrange for you and me to be together - not where we have to hide our love, but in a free and foreign land where, for a happy interlude, we can enjoy our love to the utmost. Can you imagine that, my darling?
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Being able to spend the days and nights together, to walk in the streets hand in hand, to dine together in public and laugh openly together, to stand up unafraid and say what we think aloud, to kiss and do all the silly adorable things that lovers do, and to hold the child of our love between usIt was too painful, she could not go on. When Molly found her weeping bitterly, she sat on the bed beside her and took her in her arms.
'What is it, Tara dear, tell me, tell old Molly." 'I have to go back to Weltevreden,' she sobbed. 'Oh God, Molly, I thought I was rid of that place for ever, and now I have to go back." Tara's request for a formal meeting to discuss their matrimonial aJ rangements threw Shasa into a state of utmost consternation. H had been well enough satisfied by the informal understanding b tween them, by which he had complete freedom of action and contrr of the children, together with the respectability and protection of th marriage form. He had been happy to pay without comment the bill that Tara forwarded to him, and to see that her generous allowanc was paid into her bank account promptly on the first of each month He had even made good the occasional shortfall when the bani manager telephoned him to report that Tara had overdrawn. On on, occasion there was a cheque made out to a second-hand mota dealer, for almost a thousand pounds. Shasa did not query it. What ever it was, it was a bargain as far as he was concerned.
Now it looked as if all this was coming to an end, and Shas immediately called a meeting of his principal advisors in the board.
room of Centaine House. Centaine herself was in the chair ant Abraham Abrahams had flown down from Johannesburg, bringin with him the senior partner of a firm of renowned but very expensive divorce lawyers.
Centaine took over immediately. 'Let us consider the worst possible case,' she told them crisply. 'Tara will want the children and she'll want a settlement, plus a living allowance for herself and each of the children." She glanced at Abe who nodded his silver head, which set the rest of the legal counsel nodding like mandarin dolls, looking grave and learned, and secretly counting their fees, Shasa thought wryly.
'Damn it, the woman deserted me! I'll go to hell before I give her my children." 'She will claim that you made it impossible for her to remain in the conjugal home,' Abe said, and then when he saw Shasa's thunderous expression, tried to soothe him. 'You must remember, Shasa, that she will probably be taking the best available legal advice herselfi' 'Damned shyster lawyers!" said Shasa bitterly, and his counsel looked pained, but Shasa did not apologize nor qualify. 'I've already warned her I won't give her a divorce. My political career is at a very delicate stage. I cannot afford the scandal. Very soon I'll be contesting a general election." 'You may not be able to refuse,' Abe murmured. 'Not if she has good grounds." 'She hasn't any,' said Shasa virtuously. Tve always been the considerate and generous husband." 'Your generosity is famous,' Abe murmured drily. 'There is many an attractive young lady who could give you a testimonial on that score."
'Really Abe,' Centaine intervened. 'Shasa has always kept out of trouble with women --' 'Centaine, my dear. We are dealing with facts here - not maternal illusions. I am not a private detective and Shasa's private life is none of my concern. However, completely disinterested as I am, I am able to cite you at least six occasions in the last few years when Shasa has given Tara ample grounds --' Shasa was making frantic signals down the table to shut Abe up, but Centaine leaned forward with an interested expression. 'Go ahead, Abe,' she ordered. 'Start citing!" 'In January two years ago the leading lady in the touring production of the musical Oklahoma,' Abe began, and Shasa sank down in his chair and covered his eyes as though in prayer. 'A few weeks later the left-winger, ironically, in the visiting British women's hockey team." So far Abe was avoiding mentioning names, but now he went on. 'Then there was the female TV producer from North American Broadcasting Studios, pert little vixen with a name like a fish - no a dolphin, that's it, Kitty Godolphin.
Do you want me to go on? There are a few more, but as I have said already, I'm not a private investigator. You can be sure that Tara will get herself a good one, and Shasa makes very little effort to cover his tracks." 'That will do, Abe,' Centaine stopped him, and considered her son with disapproval and a certain grudging admiration.
'It's the de Thiry blood,' she thought. 'The family curse. Poor Shasa." But she said sternly, 'It looks as though we do have a problem after all,' and she turned to the divorce lawyer.
'Let us accept that Tara has grounds of infidelity. What is the worst judgement we might expect against us?" 'It's very difficult, Mrs Courtney--' 'I'm not going to hold you to it,' Centaine told him brusquely.
'You don't have to equivocate. Just give me the worst case." 'She could get custody, especially of the two younger children, and a large settlement." 'How much?" Shasa demanded.
'Considering your circumstances, it could be --' the lawyer hesitated delicately '-- a million pounds, plus the trimmings, a house and allowance and a few other lesser items." Shasa sat up very straight in his chair. He whistled softly and then murmured 'That is really taking seriously something that was merely poked in fun,' he said, and nobody laughed.
So Shasa took pains preparing for the reunion with Tara. He studied the written advice which Abe and the other lawyers had drawn up for him, and had his tactics firmly established. He knew what to say and what to avoid. He was to make no admissions an no promises, particularly regarding the children.
For the venue he chose the pool at the foot of the Constanti Berg, hoping that Tara would associate it with the happy hours the had spent there. He had his chef prepare an exquisite picnic hampe which contained all Tara's favourite delicacies, and he chose half dozen bottles of his best wines from the cellar.
He took especial care with his appearance. He had his hair trimme and picked out a new black silk eye-patch from the drawer that hid, kept full of them. He wore the after-shave she had given him am the cream-coloured wild silk suit which she had once remarked ai favourably, with his airforce scarf in the open neck of his blue shirt All the children were packed off to Rhodes Hill, into Centaine' care for the weekend, and he sent the chauffeur in the Rolls to fetc Tara from Molly Broadhurst's home where she was staying. Th chauffeur brought her directly up to the pool and Shasa opened the door for her, and was surprised when she offered him her cheek fol his kiss.
'You look so well, my dear,' he told her, and it was not entirely untrue. She had lost a lot of weight, her waist was once again wasped in and her bosom was magnificent. Despite the gravity of the moment Shasa felt his loins stir as he looked down that cleavage.
'Down boy!" he admonished himself silently and looked away, concentrating on her face. Her skin had cleared, the rings below her eyes were barely discernible and her hair had been washed and set. Obviously she had taken the same pains with her appearance as he had.
'Where are the children?" she demanded immediately.
'Mater has them - so we could talk without interruption." 'How are they, Shasa?" 'They are all just fine. Couldn't be better." He wanted there to be no special pleading on that score.
'I do miss them terribly,' she said. The remark was ominous, and he did not reply. Instead he led her to the summer-house and settled her on the couch facing the waterfall.
'It's so beautiful here." She looked around her. 'It is my favourite spot on all of Weltevreden." She took the wineglass he handed her.
'Better days!" He gave her the toast. They clinked glasses and drank.
Then she set her glass down on the marble table-top and Shasa steeled himself to receive the opening shot of the engagement.
'I want to come back home,' she said, and he spilled white wine down the front of his silk suit, and then dabbed at it with the handkerchief from his breast pocket to give himself time to recover his balance.
In a perverse way he had been looking forward to the bargaining.
He was a businessman, supremely confident in his ability to get the best trade. Furthermore, he had already adjusted to the idea of becoming a bachelor once more, and was
beginning to look forward to the delights of that state, even if it cost him a million pounds. He felt the prickle of disappointment.
'I don't understand,' he said carefully.
'I miss the children. I want to be with them - and yet I don't want to take them away from you. They need a father as much as a mother." It was too easy. There had to be more than that, Shasa's bargaining instincts were sure.
I have tried living alone,' she went on. 'And I don't like it. I want to come back." 'So we just pick it up again where we dropped it?" he asked carefully, but she shook her head.
'That's impossible, we both know that." She prevented further questions with a raised hand. 'Let me tell you what I want. I want to have all the benefits of my old life, access to my children, the prestige that goes with the name Courtney and the money not to have to stint -' 'You were always scornful of the position and the money before." He could not prevent the jibe, but she took no offence.
'I had never had to do without it before,' she said simply. 'However, I want to be able to go away for a while when it becomes too much for me here - but I will not embarrass you politically or in any other way." She paused. 'That's all of it." 'And what do I get in return?" he asked.
'A mother for your children, and a public wife. I will preside at your dinner-parties, and make myself agreeable to your associates, I will even help you with your political electioneering, I used to be very good at that." 'I thought that my politics disgusted you." 'They do - but I will never let it show." 'What about my conjugal rights, as they are delicately referred to by the lawyers?" 'No." She shook her head. 'That will only complicate our relationship." She thought of Moses. She could never be unfaithful to him, even if he had ordered it. 'No, but I have no objection to you going elsewhere. You have always been reasonably discreet. I know you will continue to be." He looked at her bosom and felt a twinge of regret, but the bargain she was offering amazed him. He had everything he wanted, and had saved himself a million pounds into the bargain.