by Tim Lebbon
Of course, there were always the rare few who managed to find their way back. But even then, they were markedly different, changed in a way no amount of rehab could cure. Those who spoke of their ordeal told terrible stories of isolation and torture. One man from her town claimed he’d been made to stand at the edge of a very high cliff for weeks on end until one day, in an act of desperation, he jumped, hoping to put an end to his suffering. That sad act of despair had left him as broken on the inside as he was on the outside. Despite reports of him being hauled into the infirmary, no one had seen or heard from him since.
Shivering, she steered her thoughts away from the past and onto the journey ahead. There were untold adventures to be had, and friends to meet. One in particular she was eager to see.
She paused before a store window to rearrange her hair in a more pleasing way. Her curls were thick and blonde, the color of freshly churned butter, but no matter how she pushed and pulled at them, they always bounced right back into the same old style.
On the outside, she seemed destined to stay the same.
On the inside, a revolution was brewing.
With one final look, she forged ahead; her step as quick and sure as the destination she’d visited year after year.
Claiming a window seat, she settled in and watched the smear of scenery unravel as the train chugged past a series of big cities and small towns. The varying landscapes reminding her of all the places she could’ve chosen to visit. But unlike her twin, she’d never been driven by wanderlust. As long as Mark continued to show up, she was content with vacationing in the same location.
The first thing she noticed upon exiting the station was the familiar sweet heady scent of lush springtime blooms. After so many months of lying dormant, the meadows were slowly awakening, growing increasingly brighter, more vibrant, until every flower, every tree, every blade of grass, seemed to pulsate with life.
In the near distance, she spotted her favorite swimming hole—a glistening pool with silvery blue water that shone bright as a mirror. She inhaled deeply, hungrily, wishing she could somehow absorb the magical moment and store it safely inside her.
Time was fleeting.
The world was uncertain.
But in that moment, surrounded by so much bright, shining beauty, life seemed infinite and filled with possibility.
In a rare act of joyous spontaneity, she flung her arms skyward and spun in slow, loopy circles. ‘I’m here!’ she sang, confident no one was listening. ‘And for the next thirty-one days, I’m entirely safe!’
Every word of it felt true. But then she made the mistake of looking up, and her joy quickly faded.
No one ever looked up.
It was a lesson one learned early on.
Sure, you could run your gaze up the side of a tall building, or the crest of a hill, or the topmost branches of a tree. But anyone who dared peer any higher risked catching the notice of one of the grim-faced sentinels watching over them, guns at the ready.
Dropping her gaze, she hurried along the moss-covered path, not daring to rest until she was deep in the forest, sheltered by rows of towering pines, where the guards could no longer see.
The moment of levity had been a foolish mistake. Even in August terrible, dreadful things could still happen. No one was ever truly safe.
A sudden rustling sounded from the bushes. Startled, Mary whirled around to see a beautiful young doe peering out from the leaves.
‘Well, hello,’ she ventured, the fear seeping right out of her as she took in the doe’s long gangly legs and curious stare. ‘What are you doing here?’ She crept forward, not entirely expecting a reply. Still, in such a magical place, the usual rules didn’t always apply. Emboldened, she chanced a couple more steps and was just about to reach out and touch it, when someone called her name and the doe scampered away.
‘Mary?’
She closed her eyes, wishing to freeze the moment so she could replay it later, when they were apart.
‘I was hoping you’d show.’
Deciding it was silly to waste time preserving a memory when she could experience the moment in real time, she turned to him and grinned. Mark looked as handsome as she remembered.
They came together. At first slowly, tentatively. Her body awkward, her tongue clumsy and foreign. So many months apart had made for a lot to catch up on, and it wasn’t long before their voices rose in excitement as their words rushed forward, crashing into each other, until they stopped, fell into a short silence broken only by a burst of nervous laughter.
‘You look exactly the same,’ she said, never doubting he would, yet somehow saying it felt reassuring.
‘So many have gone missing.’ He pressed a palm to each of her cheeks as his gaze fixed on hers. His eyes searching, questioning, and though she sensed what he was asking, the answer he hoped for was not hers to give.
When his gaze eventually dropped to the thin gold band adorning the ring finger of her left hand, he frowned. More than anything she wished she could be rid of it and the man who’d come with it. She’d chosen neither of them. No one got to choose much of anything in their world. Their roles were predestined, and there was no way to escape the long list of regulations already in place.
Except for August.
Every August was a chance to begin anew—step out of the usual roles and become someone else. And now that they were together, she was determined to focus on every beautiful moment she could.
They filled their days with long walks and leisurely swims. At night they lay curled tightly together, dreaming of a life that would never be theirs.
Every now and then they’d come across a friend, and while they enjoyed the brief interruption of another’s company, they were always relieved when the friend moved on and they were free to return their focus to each other. As the weeks slipped past, they grew painfully aware of the end looming near.
On the very last day, they were sprawled on the grass after a particularly gorgeous swim, when Mark looked at her and said, ‘I have an idea that, if it works, should ensure we’ll never be separated again.’
Mary turned toward him, lazily swinging a leg across his as she swept a stray lock of dark hair from his brow.
‘During our time apart, I discovered something. Something I’ve suspected for a while now.’ He paused to make sure she was really listening before he continued. ‘Last year, in my town, fifty-six went missing.’
Mary blinked, wondering if she’d heard him right. Even for a place where so many were known to disappear, fifty-six seemed like an awfully big number. In her own town, the number had been much lower, coming in at twenty so far.
‘And then, one day, I was nearly snatched too.’
She bolted upright and stared at him in shock. Since the moment they’d met, it was the thing she feared most—the thought that one day, August would come, and Mark would fail to appear in the agreed upon spot, leaving her with no way of knowing if he’d changed his mind about her or was simply gone for good.
‘I was outside, enjoying a day at the rodeo with some friends. Next thing I noticed, they were no longer there.’
Her first instinct was to press her hand to his mouth to stop the words from being spoken aloud. Reading the worried look in her gaze, he grasped her hand in his, reminding her he was right there beside her.
‘I looked all around,’ he continued, once she seemed to relax. ‘But my friends were nowhere to be found. So, fearing I might be next, I—’ He hesitated as though not entirely sure he was ready to admit whatever came next. ‘I injured myself.’ The look that followed was sheepish, unsure. ‘How?’ She ran a glance over him. ‘Where?’ Her gaze ran from his head of thick wavy dark hair to the soles of his boots. They’d spent the last three weeks together and she’d yet to notice anything out of the ordinary.
‘A darkness fell over me.’
She grew still and braced for the worst, all the while convinced she did not want to hear it.
‘And, at that moment I kn
ew I was next. I’d heard the stories. We all have. The flash of darkness, the looming shadow, they’re always the first signs.’
‘I don’t understand…’ her voice faltered, she really wished he would stop, switch the topic to more pleasant things. August was a time for forgetting.
‘At that moment, all I could think was that I had to do whatever it took to stick around long enough so I could eventually find my way back to you. So, I threw myself toward the ground, face first, and somehow resisted the urge to break the fall.’
Instinctively, her hand flew to her throat.
‘I crashed hard on my nose. The rest of me followed.’
Gently, she reached for his cheek, and there it was—the faintest thin line of a scar trailing across the bridge and racing toward his ear. The mark was just barely visible, but now that she’d seen it, she couldn’t imagine how she’d missed it. Especially after having spent the last month memorizing every square inch of him.
‘I don’t remember much after that, other than I woke up in the infirmary to find one of my neighbors peering down at me. When I asked what’d happened, he said, ‘Looks like you figured out the secret. Good for you.’’
She flashed him a quizzical look.
‘Only the perfect ones disappear.’
The silence stretched between them, leaving his words to reverberate in her head.
‘At that moment, I knew my suspicions had been right all along. After all, he’s one of the elders—been around longer than any of us. And you should see him. He’s covered in wounds. According to him, it’s the key to survival. Whoever is snatching us, never takes the broken ones.’
She traced his scar with the tip of her finger. It felt different than the rest of him, slightly raised to the touch.
‘Mary…’ He reached for her hand, entwining her fingers with his, and something about the nervous urgency of his tone reminded her of how the conversation began.
I have an idea that, if it works, should ensure we’ll never be separated again.
He couldn’t be serious, could he?
‘You—you want to break my nose?’
‘No—Mary, please!’
Without realizing, she’d wrenched free of his grip. ‘So, what then? You want to break another part of me to ensure no one will ever snatch me? That’s your plan?’
‘It’s not like that. Just hear me out, okay?’
She was already on her feet, already backing away. ‘Don’t come near me,’ she said, voice shaky. She was alone, and he was so much bigger than her. How had it come to this after all of these years? Hadn’t he told her he loved her?
‘It was never my intention to scare you, much less harm you. But Mary, I think I’m onto something here. I just need you to listen.’
There was no way out. Everyone knew the trains ran the first day of August and then not again until the end of the month. Even the conductors took a holiday. Though the train was surely on its way, until it got there she was trapped with a man who wanted to break her.
It’d been a week since they’d last seen anyone. Despite the beauty of the place, it was one of the least popular vacation spots. It didn’t offer the same sort of excitement as the big cities or beach towns. Is that why he’d chosen it for them?
He was moving toward her. Blue eyes flashing with rage, or was it desperation, she could no longer tell. All she knew was she didn’t want to be broken. Not for him. Not for anyone. She liked being perfect. Besides, people went missing all the time. Perfection had nothing to do with it.
Without another thought, she ran toward the meadow. Her plan was impulsive, risky, she’d had no time to stop and think it through. But he was fast on her trail, and so she pressed on.
She burst free of the forest and raced toward the clearing. Not stopping until she’d reached the spot where she’d spun in happy circles just four weeks earlier; before she remembered the armed guards looming overhead, watching, always watching.
Were they watching her now?
For the first time since she could remember, she hoped that they were.
After years of training herself to never look up, it felt strange to purposely force her head back and plead for help from the very people she’d feared all these years.
Beside her, a quiet voice said, ‘No one’s there.’
She froze. Could it be true?
‘They go on holiday too.’
She opened her eyes and ran her gaze to the top of the hill where a long line of rifles were left abandoned on the ground.
‘There’s no one to help you. But Mary, you don’t need anyone’s help. I’m not going to harm you.’
She felt shaky, embarrassed. Had she overreacted? Misread his intention?
What she said was: ‘If no one’s watching, why are we still here?’
The look he gave her was patient, tender. The sort of look you give a small child who doesn’t yet comprehend the complexities of the world. ‘Because there’s nowhere to go.’
She knew for a fact that was false. Everything he was telling her was wrong. There were plenty of places. Just because she always chose the same destination (due entirely to him) didn’t mean she hadn’t received numerous postcards from friends who’d visited other locales.
‘What about Plymouth Rock, New York City, Circus Big Top, Seashore…and didn’t you say you were from Wild West?’ She directed a pointed look at his jeans and cowboy boots. His hat must’ve fallen while he’d been chasing her.
When he spoke, his voice was weary, not at all what she’d expected. ‘All true, along with a few other locations as well. But that’s it, Mary. Our world is small and flat. And though the train runs through it in a continuous loop, there’s nothing outside of it. Or at least not for us.’
She stood before him, reluctant to believe a word of it.
‘Haven’t you ever wondered why August is the only month we’re free to move about on our own, no matter if it’s dark or light out?’
‘Because that’s the way it is! That’s the way it’s always been.’ She sounded defensive, flustered, causing his face to soften, his voice to grow gentler.
‘But haven’t you ever wondered why?’
She shrugged self-consciously. His questions were making her feel small minded, insignificant, and woefully incurious. August had always been her favorite time of year. It was when she felt most alive. The rest of her life was a continuous, monotonous blur. She didn’t see the point in questioning what she already knew to be true.
‘It’s because he goes away.’
More than anything, she wanted to run, to never hear another word. But where would she go where Mark couldn’t find her?
‘The one who created us, who watches over us, every August he leaves us here on our own. It’s the only time we’re ever truly free. Tell me, how many real memories do you have of the rest of the year?’
‘I’m with my husband, my family, people disappear…’ She shrugged, realizing as she spoke it just how unimpressive the list was.
‘And don’t you ever wonder where the vanished end up?’
‘No one knows. They’re just gone.’
‘Some make it back. And if they’re broken enough, they get to stay. Surely you’ve noticed.’
She glanced toward the station. The train would come soon. Once she boarded it, she’d never see him again.
‘The broken ones stay, Mary, because no one wants them.’
‘Who are you referring to? Who doesn’t want them?’
He shot a nervous glance at the track, then settled his gaze back on hers. ‘I lied,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want to scare you, but now we’re running out of time, so I need you to know. Truth is, I did see my friends disappear. I saw the whole thing, right before I made myself fall.’
She clutched a hand to her belly. She felt sick, scared. She couldn’t wait to get out of there.
‘It was a hand, Mary. A giant hand came out of nowhere. Just appeared right above us and snatched them away.’
She shoo
k her head, placed her own hands firmly over her ears. There was no way she’d allow herself to hear it, much less believe it.
And yet, it was impossible to ignore the insistent nudging inside her. The whispered reminder of a story her twin once told.
Becky had met one of the army men one August and she’d shared some of the more startling things that he’d told her. At the time, her sister’s stories seemed outrageous, easily disproven. Still, they bore an eerily similar ring to what Mark was claiming. Becky and the soldier had fallen in love and had even made plans to run away together. After her disappearance, Mary had secretly wondered if they’d somehow managed to hide themselves in such a tightly controlled world.
She chanced another look up at the abandoned posts.
‘We’re running out of time,’ he said.
Despite everything she’d heard, everything she was beginning to suspect, Mary was too scared to act.
‘I’m already broken. But to prove my point, I’ll do it again. If it means spending every August with you, it’s worth whatever pain is involved. Before you know it, he’ll mend us, and we’ll be free to exist here forever. I won’t let anyone keep us apart for any longer than necessary. But it won’t work if I’m the only one who jumps. Tell me, Mary—do you trust me?’
Clasping her hand in his, he led her toward the base of the hill and gave her a boost. The going wasn’t easy, and once when she reached the half-way mark, she made the mistake of looking down. Even from there it seemed an awfully long way to fall.
When they reached the top, it was just like he’d claimed. Their world was flatter and smaller than she’d ever imagined.
From up high, she could see the train in the distance rolling toward their stop. If she climbed down immediately, she might be able to make it.
‘Turn around,’ he whispered softly in her ear. ‘Turn around and you’ll see that I’m right about all of it.’
Drawing strength from his touch, she did as he asked, and what she saw didn’t make a single bit of sense.
Enormous shelves, a long wooden table that seemed to go on forever, stacks of books the size of a building, a chair that was bigger than her hometown, and two very large windows painted with letters were framing an extremely tall and wide door.