Bastards and Scapegoats
Page 17
“Sycamore Tree?” Jess let out a long, low whistle. “Wow, Hamilton.”
“What does that mean?” I asked while looking between them. It felt weird to be talked about so openly.
Infinity waved her hand. “It’s some code word they’ve had since they were teens. They had this tree in the park between their houses that they’d meet at.”
“Our safe haven,” Jess replied. “My parents were assholes. They thought they could beat the disobedience out of me.” She cleared her throat before continuing. My heart broke for her. “Hamilton was my only friend. He always protected me. I just had to text him Sycamore Tree and he’d drop everything to be there for me. It kind of became a code of sorts, but it’s hard to explain. I guess you’d have to experience it. Remember when you threatened my dad?” Jess took a sip of her drink. Infinity gave her a side hug.
“Your dad is a dick.” Hamilton didn’t go into detail about their past, he just eyed me and grabbed my hand again.
“Affirmative,” Jess replied.
I filed this information away. There was so much about Hamilton that didn’t fit my original assumptions about him. He was the kind of man that helped out his history teacher. He dropped everything for his friends. He was serious. Poetic. Devoted. Physical and unapologetic. He had a rough childhood. Each layer of his personality added something else for me to obsess over.
We started talking about lighter subjects, thankfully. I liked Jess’s zero fucks attitude. She wasn’t afraid to poke and prod for answers, but I needed a break from the seriousness. She and Infinity started to get a buzz and were kissing when Hamilton turned to me. “I hate the dude, but Jared is smart,” Hamilton said in a low voice. “He picked a place known for their discreetness.”
I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”
Hamilton nodded at a nearby table. “Over there is an heir to one of the largest corporations in the country,” he said. I followed his gaze and stared at the slender man tossing back shots. He looked about my age. I was about to ask what the point of all of this was, when an elderly man with deep wrinkles, a limp, and dentures sat next to him and started kissing the younger man’s neck.
“This is the sort of establishment that doesn’t allow cameras and doesn’t ask questions.”
“Ah,” I replied before shifting in my seat. Why did Jared know about this place? Was it just one of those common knowledge things, or did he need a secret place to hang out with his friends?
“You’re nervous,” Hamilton stated. It wasn’t a question. He just knew.
“Things were easier when we were just fucking at my apartment,” I replied. Jess snorted.
Hamilton grabbed my thigh and kissed me on the temple again. He had started doing that a lot lately. It was such a tender and authentic gesture.
“Hey!” Jared’s voice boomed. I got out of my chair to give him a hug. In typical Jared fashion, he was wearing tailored slacks, a button up shirt, and a suit jacket that cost more than my rent. His blond hair was slicked to the side, and the Chapstick on his lips made his mouth shine. He wrapped me up in a large hug, picking me up off the floor a bit. I could feel Hamilton’s hard eyes on us. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the invite. This place is…”
“Pretentious as fuck?” Jared finished for me.
“Exactly,” Jess replied.
“It’s not my usual hang out, but I figured you’d like some privacy, you know, since you’re fucking your uncle now.” Infinity choked on her drink. Hamilton curled his fist. Jared and I sat down, and my skin suddenly grew hot. With an angry Hamilton on one side of me and an overly affectionate Jared on the other, I felt sandwiched. “If I’m hooking up with someone not ready to come out of the closet, I’ll bring them here.” Jared looked down at the empty table in front of me. “Want me to get you a drink? I know how you love gin and tonics.”
“That would be gr—”
“I got it,” Hamilton replied before waving down one of the cocktail waitresses. Within minutes, we all had drinks and had settled into an awkward silence. I had hoped that maybe this would bring us together, but it just made things more uncomfortable. A buzzed Jess and Infinity disappeared to the bathroom ten minutes ago and still hadn’t come back. I was desperate for a buffer, but something told me they’d be a while.
“So, what are you going to school for?” Hamilton asked while curling his hand around my leg, his reach dangerously close to the apex of my thigh.
“Ethics and Politics,” Jared replied. “Did you go to school?”
“Nah. I started working as soon as I graduated. Why politics?”
Jared shifted in his seat. “I’ve just always been interested in it. I grew up in it.”
It seemed like everyone in Greenwich had a political background. I tried to remember what Jared told me about his family. I knew his mother owned a nonprofit.
“Family business?” Hamilton asked. “I just can’t get over this feeling like I know you from somewhere.”
Jared cleared his throat and smiled politely, but I sensed an unease about him. “Can’t say we’ve ever met.”
Hamilton tossed back his drink and grinned. “Are you sure? I just really feel like you’re familiar to me.”
Jared cleared his throat again and rubbed the back of his neck. “Nope. I don’t know you, aside from what Vera has told me.”
“I bet she’s told you all about me, hmm?” Hamilton said before grabbing my hand from where it was resting in my lap, and kissing the inside of my wrist. My breath hitched. “What was your last name again?”
I watched them speak to one another like it was a tennis match. “Anders.”
Hamilton grinned before clapping hands together. “That’s where I know you. You interned for Joseph last year, didn’t you? I’m not usually so involved in the family business. But you have one of those faces you just can’t forget. You were at the holiday party. I remember because I saw you when I snuck off with one of the servers for a quicky.”
I snapped my head to Jared. “You worked for Joseph?” I sputtered.
Jared licked his lips. “I was going to tell you—”
“Wait. Wait.” I pushed Hamilton’s hand away before standing up. “You worked for Joseph? Are you still working for him?”
“Your parents just wanted to make sure you’d be safe while here. Joseph promised me a job after graduation if I—”
I shook my head. “You asshole! I thought you were clingy, but really you’ve been my bodyguard. Was asking me out part of that agreement, too?” My voice was shrill, but I didn’t care who heard me.
“Your mother hoped that if we got together, you’d stop this ridiculous thing with Hamilton,” Jared explained. “But I promise I like you, Vera. It started as a job but—”
“Stop. Just stop.” I massaged my temples. “Have you been reporting back to my mother? Did you tell her about Hamilton and me?” Jared averted his eyes and looked at the ground. Motherfucker. I reared back and slapped him without thought just as a ruffled Jess and Infinity emerged from the bathroom. “You dick! Don’t talk to me. Don’t fucking look at me.” I turned to look at Hamilton, who looked annoyingly pleased with himself. “Let’s go.”
“Happily, darling,” he said before smirking at a red-faced Jared. I stormed out of the bar and walked toward the car with Hamilton trailing behind me.
“Fuck, I wish I could have caught that on camera,” he rasped.
“This isn’t a joke, Hamilton. My mother knows about us!”
He pushed me against the car and cupped my cheeks. “So what?” he asked.
“So, she’s going to be mad.”
“So what?” Hamilton repeated.
“Jared has been feeding information to them,” I whined.
“So. Fucking. What.”
Hamilton kissed me hard and rough against the car door. Jess and Infinity laughed while heading to where they parked. I think they told us they’d call later, but I was too lost in my kiss with Hamilto
n to make sense of their words. On and on it went. His tongue surged past my lips and lapped me up. I arched my back and grabbed his shirt. I trembled with every stroke of his talented mouth against mine. He tore away from me with a smile. “So. What.”
I let out a shaky exhale. “So what,” I echoed before pressing my forehead against his chest. “Let’s go home,” I whispered before pausing. “Oh my God. He’s my neighbor. Do you think Joseph coordinated that?”
“Want to go to my place?” Hamilton asked.
I reached up to kiss him on the jaw. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
19
I woke up to my phone ringing—again. The shrill sound reverberated off my skull and was a high-pitched annoyance that made my body tense up. Her calls were constant. Jared and my mother were desperate to get a hold of me. I didn’t have to look at the caller ID to know that it was my mother once again, trying to track me down and stop me from ruining her happy little family. Part of me wished she would get on a plane and have this conversation in person. I wanted her to look me in the eye and tell me that her sham of a marriage with Joseph was more important than my happiness.
I hated this limbo. I was stuck between avoiding her and wanting to confront her, and the longer I ignored her texts, the cruder and pushier they became. It was a side of her that I knew well but was seeing with fresh eyes. I always just assumed her ambitions and selfishness were a result of constantly fighting to survive. Now it felt…different. Darker. I loved my mother. I knew she loved me. But I also didn’t think she understood what healthy love looked like.
Mom: What are you doing?
Mom: Where are you?
Mom: Jared called me. You can’t seriously be angry at us for wanting to make sure you were safe. You had a stalker, Vera.
Mom: Jared is a nice guy! You’d do well to date a man like him. He comes from a good family. I met his mother at a banquet.
Mom: Why are you mad at me for this?
Mom: Jared said you aren’t home. Where are you staying, Vera? Joseph wants to talk to you.
Mom: Vera. Jack is calling now. We seriously need to talk about this. You can’t date Hamilton. I know you’re with him.
Mom: This is getting ridiculous.
Mom: Call me right now!
Mom: You’re so fucking selfish, Vera. I can’t believe that you’re willing to toss away our family just so you can get laid. I always knew you were a little slut.
I was scrolling through messages when Hamilton plucked my cell out of my hands with a huff. “No more reading texts for the day. Your mother is seriously going to piss me off. I’m starting to think that she and Joseph are perfect for one another. Toxic motherfuckers.” Hamilton groaned while tossing my phone on his nightstand before pulling me closer to him. He was spooning me in bed, wrapping his arms around my middle and breathing in my scent while nuzzling my neck. It was cozy. Comfortable. Intense.
We spent all Sunday at his place, fucking, talking, and eating his delicious cooking. He let me vent and spent most of the time reminding me that it didn’t matter what anyone thought. We weren’t hurting anyone, not really. We were just testing the stormy waters. I didn’t bring up my college tuition problems. It was too late now. I had a feeling that pretty soon my mother would inform me via text message that The Beauregards weren’t going to pay for my schooling anymore. She’d already threatened it. She made it very clear that if she was going down, she’d drag me with her. It wasn’t Hamilton’s fault or responsibility. I was the one who got myself in this mess. I knew the risks, and I still dove headfirst into this messy relationship with Hamilton.
“You have class today, right?”
“Yeah, I do.” Might as well attend whatever I could. There was no telling when they’d pull the plug on my education and the apartment I was staying in. I needed to find a job. I needed to find a place to stay.
“What are you thinking about?”
I swallowed. “Nothing,” I quickly replied. “Just thinking about all the homework I’ve been avoiding.” I didn’t want Hamilton to feel responsible for my mother’s fucked up ultimatum, and more so, I didn’t want him to feel obligated to help me.
“Get ready,” he whispered before kissing me. “I’ll make you some breakfast and drive you to school. You get out at three, right? I can pick you up then.”
“You know my schedule?” I asked, brow raised. It was little moments like this that reminded me how much Hamilton legitimately cared. Last night he made me strawberry shortcake for dessert because I mentioned it in passing that I used to eat it every year for my birthday. When I borrowed a shirt to sleep in, he also tossed me a pair of socks because he knew how much I hated when my toes were cold at night. It wasn’t grand gestures that made me feel safe with Hamilton, it was all the little ways he made me feel heard.
“I do. And I figured you’d like one more day to pretend that shit hasn’t hit the fan. Your mom is calling again,” he murmured before grabbing my cell and ignoring the call for me. I rolled over and rested my head against his chest, running the pad of my index finger along his abs.
“I need more than a day to pretend. Can I have a year or two? By the way, when do you have to go back to the rig?”
Hamilton softly ran his hand down my arm before replying. “Two weeks. We have plenty of time,” he whispered. “And I happen to like your avoidance tactics. The shower sex last night was—” Hamilton stopped to kiss his fingers like a chef.
“Whatever,” I replied before sitting up and shuffling out of his bed. Cool air washed over my skin as I made my way to his bathroom to shower and get ready for class. Shower sex actually sounded pretty nice, but I had a big day ahead of me. I’d have to see Jared in Dr. Bhavsar’s class, and I wasn’t ready for that confrontation. Not even a little bit. I was likely to punch him in the gut, especially after the texts from my mother this morning. I hadn’t even bothered to open the messages from him. I didn’t see the point. Everything he said was lies, lies, lies. Even though we only knew each other for a little bit, I was still overwhelmed by his betrayal. I thought Jared was a friend, but he was really just bribed into being in my life.
Deciding to look good for class, I showered and blow-dried my hair. I got dressed in a plaid skirt, black tights, my favorite boots and a black, crop top, knit sweater. When I made it into the kitchen, Hamilton was flipping an omelet and humming to himself, still wearing nothing but his boxers as he made breakfast. When he saw me, he licked his lips.
“Shit, you look good.”
“Thank you,” I replied with a blush. My phone was sitting on the counter and went off again. I eyed it warily. “Do you think they’ll file a missing person’s report if I don’t answer that soon?”
Hamilton looked at my phone, then back at me. “It’s possible. But you’re an adult, and they all know where you are. Jack called me last night.”
Jack had called? Shit. Jack had been honest about the lengths he’d go to when it came to protecting his family’s image. He’d looked into my mother’s background and was very likely regretting welcoming her into the family now. “What did he say?”
“I don’t know. I never answer his calls.” Hamilton turned off the stovetop and put my omelet on a paper plate and brought it over to me with a cup of coffee.
“And why is that, exactly?”
“Sometimes people don’t deserve forgiveness, Vera,” Hamilton replied before changing the subject. “What are you going to say when you finally talk to your mother?” Hamilton asked while handing me a fork and sitting down beside me. “We can practice. Want me to call you a crazy unclefucker to really set the scene?”
Rolling my eyes, I replied with a snappy, “No.” In a way, I was glad that Hamilton made this somewhat of a joke. Laughing about the entire situation was better than obsessing over it. “I’m not sure what I’m going to say to her. I suppose I’ll ask why she hired Jared and how much of his friendship and attention was her instruction and how much was him. I never wanted to date Jared, but it makes me feel che
ap. He didn’t actually like me. I was just a means to an end. Our whole friendship was fake. He was clingy and annoying, but he was my first friend here. I just don’t like feeling so used.”
Hamilton looked at my plate, nodding. “That makes sense. I’m not defending him, but what if he genuinely developed feelings for you? Would it make a difference?”
“No. Our entire friendship was a lie,” I immediately replied before stabbing my omelet with my fork. “I’m just glad we didn’t do anything. I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it if I fucked him. He probably didn’t give two shits about me. He just wanted the job. I’m so fucking stupid.”
“You aren’t stupid, Vera. I think he’s a major asshole, and I’d like to kick him off the edge of a cliff, but I can recognize when a man wants someone. He looked at you like you were a snack. A delicious, mouth-watering snack. I bet he took the job thinking it would just be an easy path to his dream job. He probably wasn’t planning to want you—let alone care about you. And for the record, this is really fucking annoying for me to say because the idea of anyone wanting what’s mine pisses me the fuck right off.”
I smiled to myself, then shook my head. “This isn’t the first time my mother has interfered like this, you know…”
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force the memory down. “What do you mean?” Hamilton asked, his voice holding a dangerous edge to it.
“The family she worked as a housekeeper for? The dad made me uncomfortable. He would look at me…”
Hamilton reached out and grabbed my leg. “What happened?”
“She encouraged it. She would send me over to pick up things randomly or ask me to deliver messages to him when he was alone in his office. I told her that he was leering at my ass one day, but she shrugged. It took me a while to realize what she was doing. He was married and more than twice my age. My mother wanted him to flirt with me—to pressure me. She told me to let it happen. I think she saw it as an opportunity. I was seventeen…”
“That’s really fucked up, Vera.”