by Nag Mani
“WAKE UP!” the warden screamed and Rohan bolted awake. He was sweating. His pillow was wet. He felt thirsty. He quickly jumped out of his bed and began to change. The warden roamed around the dormitory with his hands in his pockets. For the first time, Rohan found his wake-up call welcoming.
Rohan had no idea what fresh rumour had spread around the school that night. He was surprised when the Head-Boy called Varun, Ayush, Manav and him after lunch. The Head-Boy’s cubicle was larger than that of the other prefects with only two beds and cupboards instead of three. It had its own toilet and was adorned with posters of football teams, proverbs and semi-nude ladies. More than a dozen trophies sat on top of the two cupboards. Hemant Sharma was waiting for them with a hockey stick. He was also the Cricket Captain of A.F. Three other seniors sat on his bed. The four juniors worked their way through piles of clothes and garbage on the floor - it had been ages since he had his space cleaned by juniors - and lined up in front of him.
“What is your problem? Tell me right now. I am giving you a chance to explain.” Hemant Sharma said in an icy tone, leaning against the hockey stick.
“What?” asked Rohan, his mind racing wildly to make sense.
“You fool around with juniors, I care a damn. But how dare you mess with Chandni!” Sharma caught Rohan’s collar and shoved him against a wall.
“What did I do? Chandni asked me too…”
“Hold your tongue, bitch! How dare you speak her name?” snarled one of the seniors on the bed.
How dare I speak her name! It somehow hurt more than Sharma’s hands on his throat.
“He was upstairs when Chandni fell,” Ayush tried to intervene.
Sharma let go of Rohan and slapped Ayush. “And why did he send that junior to the Green Room?”
“Because Chandni was not feeling well,” Rohan spoke up.
Slap!
“First of all,” Sharma caught his collar again and shoved him around, “don’t ever speak her name again from that filthy mouth of yours. And second, don’t ever drag her into any of your pranks. Or bunk it, don’t ever play any prank, ever, again. You go to the hall, you do what you have to do and you leave. You do one thing out of place, I will break your face for you. The four of you will never sit together from now on. I catch you once, you will wish you never were in this play. Am I clear?”
“But we didn’t do anything,” Manav insisted.
“And you!” Sharma ignored him and turned to Ayush. “What were you talking about her?”
“When?” Ayush tried to remain ignorant, though he knew exactly what Sharma was talking about.
“Don’t act cheeky, bastard!” Sharma snarled, his nostrils flaring. He took a step towards him and tapped the hockey stick. “Bend!” he ordered without giving Ayush any chance to explain.
Rohan realised that it was not the prank the seniors were particularly angry about, it was what Ayush had joked about Chandni, and the fact that she had been subjected to humiliation. Fortunately for them, only four seniors - probably her secret admirers and self-declared protectors of her dignity - could take out time to teach them a lesson. Ayush turned around and put his hands on a bed. Sharma raised his hockey stick and swung it hard on his thighs. Ayush took it quietly. Just because these seniors were treated in a similar fashion by their seniors, they found it righteous to pass it on to their juniors. He began to leave, but a senior excitedly jumped up from the bed. “My turn! My turn!” And just like a child given a toy, he hit Ayush with the stick again.
“Next!” Sharma called Manav. Rohan knew he would be called last. They didn’t want to get over with him soon. They wanted him to watch and wait for his turn. It was a punishment in itself.
“What’s going on?” Rohan asked the others as soon as they left the Head-Boy’s cubicle.
“I’ll tell you what,” said Manav, “they think we tried to scare Surbhi, we played a prank on her and dragged Chandni in it. We made her fall.”
“What prank?” Rohan was furious, revolted at the way he was being treated. “She was sick, she told me to get water for her…”
“Why don’t you go back in and try explaining,” Ayush cut in, rubbing his thighs.
Rohan knew it was of no use. The seniors were known for their mulish attitude. If they said you were a bitch, you agreed. This was the raw truth of boarding schools.
The practice started at eight that night and Rohan’s temper rose the moment he saw Chandni. What had she been telling them about him? He wanted to ask her what her problem was, clear out the whole incident in front of everyone and demand why she had lied. After all, she knew exactly what the truth was. But it would be of no use. It would all end with him getting beaten up again. Ayush blamed it on girls. It was they who couldn’t hold their tongues while gossiping. He was sure it was them who had created this rumour. Rohan sat at the back of the hall, keeping as much distance from Chandni as he could while Nisha tried her best to cheer Manav.
He kept glancing at Chandni. He was angry with her. At the same time, he wanted her to know that he was hurt, but she did not as much as feel his absence. Nisha’s pampering Manav made it even worse. Ayush just sat in the control room with Akshay and Nipurn and stared blankly at the stage. Varun sat with Anjali and Chandni, though he was trying his best to avoid any interaction with her.
For the first time, Rohan felt neglected. He spent the rest of the session out in the cold balcony. He shivered, but he preferred it over the warmth of the hall. Chandni must have known that they had been beaten. Yet, she had not as much as looked at him. His eyes uncontrollably darted back to the door, half expecting her to burst out and ask why he was upset. But she didn’t care. She never had and never would.
Rohan went to bed that night feeling low and hurt. He lay awake for a long time, staring at the night-bulb, listening to the soft breathing of his classmates. He lost track of time. After what seemed to be an hour, or maybe a thousand, he heard a sound from the locker area. A harsh whisper, or a scratch; he turned towards it. The entrance to the locker area was dark. Beyond it, two rows of wooden lockers ran facing each other till the end of the corridor where a steep staircase ran down to junior dormitories. A single bulb hung in the centre, and was currently off. Only a faint light emanated from the stairs.
The sound came closer. It was like wood being scratched. Suddenly, he felt sleepy… and he was sad. He pulled his blanket over his face. And there he was, looking at Chandni seven years ago. She was standing by the lamp-post near the Infirmary, talking to a friend. Her hair was neatly tied back into a ponytail, her fingers curled around the sleeves of her pullover. Her tie was slightly loose. She was a bit nervous. It was probably her first day in school. She hadn’t seen him. He didn’t exist. But he yearned for her from that very moment, grew restless for even a glimpse of her… but she didn’t care.
The sound grew louder.
He had always wondered if she cheered for him when he played in the school team, clapped for him when he received medals. He did, he always clapped for her; only that his mingled with that of the crowd. But he always did. And now he knew, she didn’t. She never cared.
Now he felt it. Someone was standing at the entrance to the locker area. It was strange. Feeling someone’s presence… but he knew, someone was there. He looked.
It was her!
He might not have seen her clearly near the Swimming Pool, but there she was, dressed in the school uniform, her face white, dark eyes… she was staring right at him.
Rohan twitched. His limbs went numb. He felt his face grow hot. His temple throbbed. This couldn’t be happening! But she stood there, and from the little light that fell on the entrance, he saw a thick mist swirling aggressively behind her.
Rohan crawled deeper into his bed, shivering. He was scared. He knew she was coming. He felt it. He began to tremble. And then he heard it. Footsteps. The last ray of hope that she didn’t exist extinguished. She was standing right next to his bed.
“Rohan?”
Ayush!
He felt a kick on his bed. Yes, it was Ayush. Rohan slowly came out from under his blanket. Ayush stood in his night-suit, scratching his arm. The girl was gone, so was the mist.
“That’s how you sleep!” Ayush said in a sleepy whisper and kicked him again. Rohan straightened a bit, still feeling shaky. His pillow had fallen down. Ayush threw it at him and went to the toilet. Rohan dug himself into the bed, desperately waiting for the sun to rise.
*
Rohan ran down to the Library straight after lunch. Anjali had said that the play had been cancelled earlier in 1993. Students had heard voices, screams. He searched for magazines of that period. He flicked through the Quarterly, Annual; but there was no mention of any play being cancelled. Then how did Anjali know about it? Most of the staff had not worked that long back to be approached; and those who did, waiters and washer men, would have no idea about it. The principal had said that he could use old props for the time being. Yes, it was not the first time they were putting up the play. Why was it only he who saw that girl? Ayush had been awake too.
He needed to clear his mind. He headed to the Canteen. He had to talk to Anjali. He knew she would call it off as a nightmare, but still, he had to talk. She was the only one, he thought, who could understand and not mock him. It was on the staircase to the Canteen that he became aware of his sleep deprived state. His hair was messed, face unwashed and worst of all, he had not even brushed his teeth. Struggling with his hair, he walked briskly down the stairs. He would make it quick in and out… but half of the Canteen was occupied by a big group of girls swarming around a table. Apparently, someone was celebrating her birthday. His instinct told him to better be off and die of hunger than let girls have a look at him.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”
They were too busy with the celebration to notice anyone. Rohan kept his head low and went to the counter.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!”
He looked at the menu. He knew it by heart. But somehow, looking at it helped him decide better.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CHANDNI!”
Rohan felt a jolt. He jumped around. There, surrounded by girls, was Chandni. He quickly turned away. He didn’t know why, but he just did.
“Rohan!” Nisha spotted him from the party. He smiled and tried to slip away but she pulled him in. The girls began to hoot. He tried to resist, but before he could break free, he found himself surrounded by rowdy girls, face to face with Chandni.
“Happy birthday!” he grinned, and then, he realised his mouth was smelling. He bit his lips.
“Thank you,” Chandni replied softly and began to cut a piece of cake for him.
“Where is her present?” someone taunted. “Just sniffing around for cake!”
“I… err…” He was blushing and he hated it.
Chandni held out a piece of cake for him and he quickly bit on it, having been relieved of the awkward question and his foul breath. “Thanks,” he said with his mouth full and stepped out of the gathering. She was busy handling the party and did not even notice him leave. He had never seen her so happy before. And somehow, he was no longer angry with her. Maybe, she hadn’t complained about him after all. He knew the girls had been teasing him about the present, but he felt an unexplainable urge to gift her something.
“Happy birthday!” he greeted again and held out a ‘Temptation’ chocolate he had just bought.
“What? Why did you…” She was taken by surprise, and for a moment, Rohan thought that she disapproved of it. But then, their eyes met. She must have seen something, for her expression softened and she smiled. “Thank you!”
“See you at night, then.” He began to leave and the wild girls went wilder. “I mean, at practice…” Rohan corrected, barely audible amid the hooting. He noticed a heap of gifts beside the half consumed cake. His chocolate would simply be lost once she put it there. Rohan left. He could never express how special she was for him. How could he? She was his senior. So he gave her a chocolate. It contained years of admiration; but it was just another gift for her.
But what he didn’t notice was that Chandni did not place it with other gifts. She kept it in her hands throughout the party.
*
Akshay and Nipurn finally removed the doll that evening, and also found some old props in the Junior School attic. Rohan was on stage helping them set up a vast painting of the ‘Yellow Road’ Dorothy had to follow to meet the Wizard of Oz.
“This place looks colourful now.” Anjali had just arrived and was admiring the effect of the painting. Behind her, Rohan saw Chandni enter with other girls… and his jaw dropped to the floor! If Chandni had looked beautiful in the party, she was now the goddess of beauty. If she be a painting, he could sit his entire life fondly gazing at it. She had put on an eyeliner and light lip gloss. Her hair was loose and had been neatly combed to a side. She was looking everywhere, except at him. But he knew that she knew he was staring at her, for she was blushing.
“Rohan?” Anjali called.
“Yes?” He began to climb down the stage, his eyes still savouring Chandni.
“I won’t be here for a few days. Please make sure you people continue with your rehearsals.”
Chandni looked at him till they had an eye contact and immediately, she looked away, smirking, as if ignoring him, and casually ran her fingers through her hair. Attitude! And Rohan missed a step and came crashing down. “I am fine! I am fine!” He shouted amid suppressed giggles, rubbing his knees and getting up.
“Damn it, Rohan! Look where you are going!” said Anjali, as she took her seat on a sofa. “You have the entire night to ogle at her!”
Rohan gave Anjali a murderous look as Manav fell from the sofa laughing. Now, it was he who was blushing in full glare of a spotlight. Shielding his eyes, he waved his hands threateningly at Ayush in the control room.
Rohan took a seat next to Anjali. The play practice started. Dorothy Gale had met the Cowardly Lion. All eyes were on the stage. Rohan glanced sideways. No one was sitting around them. He grabbed the opportunity. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes?”
“Anjali,” Rohan began, his eyes on the stage, “what exactly happened the last time they had to cancel the play?”
She studied him for a moment. “And why do you ask?”
Rohan could not decide if he should tell her about the girl. She would certainly have an explanation, but he did not want to hear it.
“Are you all right, Rohan?” she asked.
“Yes. It’s nothing. I was just curious. I looked up a few magazines, but there was nothing about any play being cancelled.”
“Of course, they never mention these things in magazines.”
“Then, how did you know?”
“There are other sources. But, look, if there is something on your mind, speak up.”
“No, it’s nothing. I…”
“Are you scared?” Anjali moved closer to him, her eyes burning through his mind.
“No! Not at all. I just wanted to know why the play had been cancelled.”
“I told you.” Anjali lowered her voice, trying her best to convince him. “Some weird things happened in the Green Room. Students were scared. They had to call it off.”
“And why was the play cancelled the first time?”
This startled Anjali. It was clear she had not expected this. She seemed unsure whether to answer or not.
“What happened then?” Rohan pressed.
“Well, they had to cancel the play… because a girl went missing after a practice session.”
“Missing? How?”
“It was after a dress rehearsal.”
“And where was she found?” Rohan asked. The answer had to be ‘in the town’. Though senior boys did it on regular basis, from getting something urgent done to simply enjoying a day out, he had rarely heard of girls bunking to the main town of Nainital. But this one was way too brave, and stupid. He was dying to know how she managed to bunk, and then get caught in the act. Ma
ybe, she wore a dress under her uniform and sneaked out or carried a dress in a bag and changed in the forest…
“She was never found.” Anjali was looking blankly at the stage.
“What do you mean? Never found!”
“Rohan,” Anjali said calmly, “she was never seen again. She was the lead actress, Dorothy Gale, and that was why the play had to be cancelled.”
“What happened to her? Didn’t anyone search for her?”
“She probably ran away into the forest, but I don’t know anything for sure. But, listen to me,” she held his hands, “are you sure you are all right? If there is something, you can always talk to me about it.”
“No, it’s nothing. I am fine. But what happened to this girl?”
“We’ll talk about it later.” She rose from her seat. “If something is bothering you, you can always tell me without hesitation.” With that she called off the act and climbed onto the stage to give instructions.
Rohan dragged a sofa aside and lay on it. His mind was heavy. He was tired. Anjali had somehow known that something was troubling him. It was almost as if she had expected something to happen. A girl had gone missing. This was impractical. How could someone just disappear from the school and not be found? He felt tired and sleepy. He felt cold. He wrapped his arms around himself. Chandni was on the stage, playing her part with the Scarecrow. And how lucky that Scarecrow was! He wanted to march up to Mrs. Sharma and ask her to make him the Scarecrow. And her eyes; they were so beautiful; he was drowning in them… deeper… deeper…