Serene (Shattered Book 3)

by Diana Nixon

  We talked for a little while, she helped me clean the table after we had breakfast, and then we went out to buy doughnuts for Mike and breathe some fresh air that I needed so much. I hated staying at home for too long. Even if the weather left much to be desired, I still enjoyed going for short walks. Especially in fall when I could hear the sound of ruffling leaves under my feet, first dancing in the wind, then carpeting the ground with the last breath of color before winter and the cold turned it into white. It made me think of all the colors of fall that always inspired me. I loved when the trees turned into an inferno above my head, with scarlet and gold contrasting with the blues of the sky. Fall always associated with magic, the mysteries of Halloween and blessing of Thanksgiving. It brought so much warmth to my heart.

  “One more thing,” Emery said about an hour later, when standing next to her car. “The portrait…”

  “What about it?”

  “Don’t show it to Stanley.”

  “Why?”

  “Let it be a surprise. For later.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I turned my head to Stanley, sitting behind the wheel of his car.

  “Have you always been so impatient?”

  “No. But when it comes to you and your secret plans…”

  He laughed under his breath and I felt my cheeks glow. Quickly I turned away from him, and bit my lip, trying to hold back my smile. It’d been almost three weeks since Stanley and I started ‘dating’. Every day he had a new surprise prepared for me: we went to the amusement park, zoo, we baked, went to the beach, rode a double-seated bicycle from time to time, laughed a lot and kissed…even more than a lot.

  Maybe that’s why now it was so hard to concentrate on anything but the feeling of Stanley’s palm covering mine.

  “I missed you,” he said. “Three days in New York felt like forever.”

  “Why? I thought you enjoyed your time at Jeffrey’s wedding.” He wanted me to go to New York with him, but Paul got sick and I couldn’t leave, knowing my sister wouldn’t mind help with the other two kids.

  “I would have enjoyed it so much more if you were there with me. To be honest, the wedding was a little weird.”

  “Why?”

  “The bride and the groom looked like they couldn’t wait for the wedding to be over.”

  “Maybe they couldn’t wait to stay alone.”

  “Maybe...”

  Today was Saturday and neither Stanley nor I needed to go to work. He came to my place early in the morning and said there was something very important he wanted me to do.

  “Wait, does your surprise have anything to do with the note that you asked Emery to give me a couple of weeks ago?” He never explained the meaning of the note, saying he needed more time to make ‘one thing that I wanted so bad’ work.

  “Yes,” he said with a mystery in his voice. “Today is the big day.”

  I grrrrred at him. “You are not helping.”

  “Just a few more minutes. Can you wait that long?”

  “Does it look like I have a choice?”

  “No.”

  “You like teasing, don’t you?”

  I felt the car slow down, then it came to a full stop and Stanley said, “I haven’t started teasing you, Ivy. But when it happens, I swear you will beg for more.” The words were soft, but dangerously seductive. “Besides, we have something more important to do now.” He opened the door and got out of the car. “Wait here,” he said to me.

  Stanley was gone for no more than five minutes. When he returned, he started the engine again and we drove for another couple of minutes or so.

  He didn’t talk and I wondered if that was good or bad news.

  Carefully, I asked, “Is everything all right?”

  “Yes,” was his short response.

  When the car stopped again, Stanley walked around it and opened the passenger door for me, saying, “Are you ready to get one thing that you want so bad?”

  “Yes!” I said as excited as ever. For days, I’d been trying to understand what that one thing was. My list of guesses became endless, so I couldn’t wait to find out what Stanley had on that smart mind of his.

  “Get behind the wheel.”

  My mouth almost hit the ground. “Um… What?”

  “You said you missed driving your car and I thought I needed to fix it.”

  “But I don’t drive anymore, remember?”

  “Today you will.”

  “Do you want me to crash your car?”

  He laughed quietly, took my hand in his and pulled me out of the passenger seat.

  “You won’t crash anything. We are on a speedway, all alone.”

  “No way… How did you do that?”

  “Well, I was planning on bringing you here a long time ago, but there was a drag race happening on this very speedway, that’s why they told me to wait a few weeks until the competition was over.”

  “Stanley, I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if I do something wrong? Or push the wrong pedal?”

  “My car has an automatic transmission. Just like yours. All you need to do is to push the gas pedal and enjoy the ride. Now, get in.”

  “What if…”

  “I’ll warn you about the turns. For now, just drive straight forward and stop worrying. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” He leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “You can do this, Ivy.”

  Ugh, I wish I had his assurance. What do they say about taking chances? If you want it, go for it.

  After the accident, the fear of getting into a car was one of those things I had to learn how to overcome. I used to sit in a driver’s seat of Emery’s car, with the engine off, trying to not freak out at the mere thought of the car moving. We gave a slow ride a try after almost six months of day-to-day sitting in a car and talking. Honestly, my sister was the best therapy I could wish for. My post-traumatic stress disorder – as the doctors called it – was long lost and forgotten thanks to her. Now I knew that if I ever needed a therapist again, I would call my sister.

  “Okay, let’s do this.” I slid into the driver’s seat and waited for Stanley to take his seat next to me.

  “Push this button to start the engine,” he said, placing one of my fingers over a metal button.

  I did what he told me to do. I was so nervous, I couldn’t make myself say a word. Driving was a dream come true for me. Only I never thought I would push the gas pedal again.

  “Put your hands on the wheel. Come on, Ivy, it doesn’t bite.”

  Slowly, I wrapped my fingers around the leather wheel and swallowed. “You do realize it was a crazy idea to bring me here, right?”

  He chuckled. “It’s too late to give it a second thought. We are here and you are going to drive my car. Period.”

  “Is that what you tell your clients when they are lying on your operating table? I’m going to cut you to pieces, enjoy the torture. Period.”

  He laughed. “Trust me, you don’t want to be one of them. Not that I mind having you all ready for me to do whatever I want to do with you.”

  “If you think your dirty comments are helpful right now, you are terribly wrong.”

  “Having a dirty mind makes any situation much more interesting.”

  “Right.”

  “Don’t be a rabbit, Ivy. Make the damn wheels burn.”

  I giggled. “You will regret this.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Maybe we should discuss the price of your car before you let me crash it, I mean drive it.”

  “No more talking. I know what you are doing, Ivy. But there’s no turning back from this. Now, go!”

  I let the brake pedal go and the car started moving. My grip on the wheel tightened.

  “Don’t go too fast. Relax and feel the car first, then speed up a little. But don’t turn the wheel unless I tell you to do so.”

  “K.”

  If at first I thought driving a car was a bad idea, now I
was sure it was the best idea EVER!

  It was like all those months and years without driving didn’t exist at all.

  I loved the feeling of the car moving and even more did I love holding a wheel, listening to the engine sing to the empty speedway. Stanley’s car was a lot faster than mine, but surprisingly enough, it didn’t scare me anymore. Well, maybe just a little.

  “You are smiling,” he said.

  “Am I? I didn’t even notice that.”

  “Which means bringing you to the speedway was a good surprise.”

  “I already want to do it again tomorrow.”

  He chuckled. “I knew you would love it.”

  “I love everything you do for me…”

  “Is that so?”

  “You know the answer, Stanley. I bet my every emotion is written all over my traitorous face.”

  “Not always. At times I wish I could read your mind.”

  “Oh, trust me, you don’t want to get into my head. My thoughts are a mess. And they are a lot less dirty than yours. Boring.”

  “I don’t believe it. Despite how decent you act in most situations, I’m sure there’s a wild side in you. And trust me, one day, I will find it.”

  “What makes you think there’s a wild side in me?”

  “Still waters run deep, remember? Now turn left, just a little.”

  “Like this?”

  “Yeah. Now go straight forward again.” He paused for a moment. “Looks like the weather is changing.”

  “I told you it would be raining today. But you didn’t listen to my warning.”

  “We still have time to enjoy the ride.”

  To our huge disappointment, the rain started sooner than we expected. Water drops splashed the windows, and we had to pull over.

  “Tell me, what does the sky look like?” I was still sitting in the driver’s seat, with Stanley in the passenger’s seat.

  One thing I used to love about rainy days was the color of the sky. It changed from gray to dark-blue and black, here and there letting small bright-blue spots appear in between the heavy clouds.

  Stanley spoke, “The horizon is full of silver clouds, illuminated by the sunlight breaking through them. Far away you can see the clouds darkening, from gray to charcoal, as if the wind were brewing them.”

  Thunder rumbled in the distance.

  I shook my head and turned to Stanley. “Luck is definitely not on our side today.”

  “Not true. I’m stuck in a car, in the middle of an empty speedway, with the most beautiful girl in the world who has no chance to run away from me any time soon. That sounds like pure luck to me.”

  Resting my head against the top of my seat, I smiled. “How long do you think the rain’s gonna last?”

  “I would make it last forever...”

  “If it lasts forever, you and I will grow old in this car.”

  In a voice barely audible through the sounds of the rain, he said, “I don’t mind growing old with you by my side...”

  At times, he said things that took me off guard. I still didn’t know how to treat our ‘relationship’, but unlike Stanley, I didn’t want to make any distant plans for the future. Living in the moment felt so much easier. I guess a part of me was still scared to give in to what I felt for him. It was as if I were taking two steps forward, and then one step back, giving my heart a chance to survive in case things got too serious again.

  I remembered the last time I drove in the rain. It was a few days before my wedding. To say that I was immensely happy was nothing. I felt like I was walking the clouds, with nothing but my beyond words happiness holding me high in the sky. My wedding dress was lying on the backseat, ready to become a part of one of the best days in my life. I couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle, wearing the dress of pearls, lace and silk. I pulled to the roadside and got out of the car. Lifting my face upwards, I let the raindrops fall all over me.

  I laughed… Happiness was suffocating, in a good sense of the word. It was everywhere around me: in the cool and fresh drops of rain, air filling my lungs, blood running through my veins and time bringing me closer to the moment I would say the words of my vow and dedicate my life to the man I loved more than life itself.

  Soaking to the bone, I didn’t care about anything but the feeling of endless, pure bliss taking me away.

  Such a great memory…

  It didn’t have anything to do with how I felt now. My happiness was no doubt alive again. Overflowing and a little bittersweet, it was mine and mine only.

  I suddenly felt like repeating the memory from my past, with a completely different reason for my happiness standing behind it.

  I pulled the door-handle and opened the door.

  “What are you doing?” Stanley asked.

  With a smile stained upon my lips, I said, “I wanna dance!”

  “In the rain?”

  “Yes!” I got out into the rain and started spinning.

  The sky above my head rambled restlessly. The rain poured down over the speedway. My dance slowed down by the weight of my wet clothes, but I couldn’t care less.

  I felt like I was in the middle of a waterfall. I imagined the flashlights of Stanley’s car reflecting in the raindrops and turning them into magic. It would be a blessing to see it for real, at least for a short moment, just to make a new memory and live for it for another lifetime or so.

  Next thing I knew, Stanley’s firm arms wrapped around me. He lifted me off the ground and spun with me.

  When he put me down again, we both were breathless. He put his palms on my cheeks and swept the raindrops running down my face. I closed my eyelids, trying to picture the scene surrounding us.

  The clouds overhung with a mist of gray, washing away the fine line between the sky and the horizon. The sound of the rain felt like music, falling from the sky and then scattered all over the speedway, drowning our feet in puddles of silver drops.

  Something heavy filled the air, making it hard to take a breath.

  “I’m losing my mind over you, Ivy… What do I do to keep my sanity?”

  A kiss that won’t wait, a kiss that had the power stronger than the lightning that followed the thunder, a kiss that shattered the ground and healed broken hearts – it was the kind of a kiss I wanted to give and receive.

  A burst of love, unexpected, but wanted – it vibrated between us, inside us. Not even the rain was able to chill the heat burning under my skin.

  With the rain hushing the beating of my rebellious heart, I leaned forward, eager to meet Stanley’s waiting lips. I wondered if he knew how fast his closeness could drive me crazy. Maybe it was just the rain, but I never wanted him as badly as I did at that very moment. Forget about my past and just dive in the ocean of all the things he made me feel. Nothing seemed to be more important than feeling him closer, lip to lip, skin to skin.

  Rain melted on our lips when our mouths finally touched. The moment was ours and no one and nothing could take it away from us. His lips curved in a smile against mine and I felt something inside me crash. Maybe it was the icy shell that had been covering my heart for so long, I don’t know. But I suddenly felt myself more alive than ever. And happy… As happy as I could have never believed I would be, as if the drops falling from the sky were able to wash away everything that stood in our way: the unseen pain, doubts, regrets and fears. From the time our lips were locked, nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, as if blurred by the rain. One stolen moment – it was divine, it was serene…

  Stanley broke the kiss and swiped my wet hair away from my face, just to cover my cheek with small kisses. Until now, I didn’t realize I was crying. Why? Because it was the very moment I knew I never wanted to forget. Swallowing hard, I pulled his lips back to mine, putting all my love into my kiss.

  Yes, it was love.

  I loved him… With all my heart and my soul and every fiber of me. I loved him like no one had ever loved anyone; like the sea loves the shore, like the stars love the night sky, like mor
ning loves sunrise, like I never thought I was capable of loving.

  “Stanley, I…”

  “Shh… I know.”

  Did he really know what I was going to say? I didn’t get the answer to that question, because the next thing he said was, “Let’s go home. No matter how much I love kissing you in the rain, I don’t want you to catch a cold again.”

  In any other situation, I would most likely feel like he just ruined the magic of the moment. But not this time. Probably because I knew that he stopped me on purpose; that my words of love were better left unsaid for a little longer.

  “Get into the passenger seat,” he said. “I’ll drive.”

  We got back into the car, the engine roared and we sped away from the place I knew would become one of my favorite places in the city. We didn’t think about our drenched clothes or the fact that the seats would need at least a couple of days to dry. We simply enjoyed the moment.

  “Will you take me for another ride?”

  Stanley chuckled. “I will. What kind of a ride would you like it to be?”

  I smiled and turned away from him, knowing that he probably was watching me now.

  “All the rides with you are exquisite.”

  About half an hour later, we entered Stanley’s apartment and I immediately bumped into what I thought was a huge box.

  “Shit,” he swore, pushing the obstacle away. “Sorry, I forgot to warn you about the boxes. They are everywhere.”

  “Why? Are you moving out?”

  “Yes. It’s my last night here actually.” He took my hand in his and said, “You need to get changed. Come with me, I’ll find you something to wear. No promises about the size though.”

  The idea of wearing Stanley’s clothes was warming by itself. “No worries, a shirt will do just fine.”

  We entered what I supposed was his bedroom, he told me to wait and walked away. I stood still, afraid to bump into another box. The room smelled just like him – fresh and ‘oceanary’.