Passionate Addiction

by Eden Summers

  Sidney’s hurt gaze snapped to Blake, her bottom lip caught tight between her teeth. He wanted to comfort her. She didn’t need it. In the next second, she raised her chin and her nostrils flared. Moving to her feet, she turned on Mason. “I remember. You were the biggest mistake of my life.”

  Mason’s smirk increased. “Well, I definitely wouldn’t be the smallest.”

  “Oh, that’s cute.” She took a step forward and smiled. “You think you’ve got something special between your thighs. Sorry to break the news, buddy, but you actually need to know how to use it for it to be useful.”

  Mason faltered, his brows furrowing before he leaned forward, inches from her mouth. “I distinctively recall you screaming my name as your tight pussy came around my cock.”

  Blake’s focus flicked between the two of them like a tennis match. Each comeback spurred the other on, making them more livid. If he didn’t know the circumstances behind the loathing, he would’ve guessed this was an anger filled mating dance.

  Silence fell heavy in the room. Sidney clenched her fists, straightened her shoulders, and turned, moving back to her seat. Mason chuckled, the noise growing louder the longer she remained quiet.

  Why was Mason being such an asshole? Couldn’t he see she was hurting?

  Sidney cleared her throat and met Blake’s stare. “Can we hurry this along?”

  ***

  Gabi sat at the reception desk, occupying herself with the click, click, click of her pen. She wasn’t meant to be working today, but when another staff member called in sick, Gabi jumped at the chance to keep herself busy. Only she wasn’t busy. She was bored. And boredom led to thoughts of Blake, which led to the cloying depression she’d been trying to ditch for days.

  “Oh, my god,” Tammy’s voice came from the luggage storage room behind her, followed by foreign murmurs from a video.

  “What?” Gabi asked, swiveling in her chair to face the doorway.

  Tammy walked into view, her eyes wide and her phone in her hand. “Have you been on the internet lately?”

  “Yeah,” Gabi frowned. “I check my emails when we’re quiet.” She checked her emails every spare second of the day, always hoping to find something from Blake. Unfortunately, he’d listened to her appeal for time alone, and she hadn’t heard from him since leaving the US.

  “Umm.” Tammy swallowed.

  “What is it?” Panic started to overtake her, her palms now beginning to sweat. Please don’t let it be another Blake media scandal.

  “Get on YouTube.”

  Gabi paused, unable to determine if Tammy was excited or panicked, before swiveling in her chair to face her computer screen. She opened up an internet browser and typed the website address. “Now what?” Her fingers were poised over the keypad, her body tense, waiting to find out what was so important. If it was another cat video, Tammy would be in serious trouble.

  “Type in, ‘Blake Kennedy—Shattered Heart.’”

  Gabi froze. She sat there, staring at the screen, her chest throbbing. She didn’t know what to expect, but ‘shattered heart’ sounded laughably ominous.

  “Do it, Gabi.”

  Tammy’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, providing no comfort whatsoever. Again, Gabi felt alone, the numbness crawling under her skin, trying to take over.

  “Fine. I’ll do it.” Tammy nudged around her to grab the keyboard. Her fingers clicked over the buttons, each soft tap increasing Gabi’s anxiety.

  “I don’t think…” Her words drifted away when an image of Blake came on screen, an acoustic guitar cradled in his lap. He wore a black Reckless Beat T-shirt, his arm tattoos on display along with his leather wrist band. His lips moved, addressing a beautiful, dark haired woman who sat beside him, with Mason at his other side. “Turn it up. Turn it up.”

  Tammy clicked on the volume, drawing her attention to the date the video was uploaded—yesterday—and already there were over twenty thousand views.

  “Are you ready?” the woman’s soft lilt whispered.

  Blake nodded, brushing his fingers along the guitar strings. The delicate noise made Gabi’s heart flutter, and she sat stunned in silence, watching his every movement. She loved his hands, the way they flowed effortlessly over the instrument, creating a heavenly sound. Then he began to sing, and the air rushed from her lungs.

  “Wow,” Tammy spoke on an exhalation. “Just…wow.”

  “Shh.” Gabi didn’t want to miss a thing. She’d never heard him sing before, not alone anyway. His voice was raw and gravel rich, the masculine tone entirely hypnotic. Mason and the woman backed up his vocals in a soft melody, repeating lyrics, heightening the emotion.

  You’re my passionate addiction, the only high I crave…

  Blake stared at his guitar, his shoulders slumped, both hands working with synchronized beauty. She wanted to graze her fingers over the dark stubble lining his jaw, to run her hands through the thick lengths of his hair.

  Colors have faded. Nothing matters anymore…

  Her head told her to look away, yet her adoration for him wouldn’t allow it. She missed him, loved him. So much it would never stop hurting.

  I’m torn apart, broken and bruised, yet it doesn’t compare to the way I treated you.

  Mason tapped his foot, creating a tender beat while Blake sang louder, more emotional. The sound hummed in her ears, warming her frigid limbs. At one point his voice cracked and Gabi held her breath, unable to function through her sorrow.

  I won’t stay away. I’ll be back for you someday.

  Until then, you keep the shattered pieces of my heart in your hands.

  Blake gave a final strum of his guitar and glanced at the camera. The corner of his lips tilted in a sad smile, his midnight eyes fathomless as he stared into her soul. Then the video faded to black and finally she could breathe again.

  “What are you thinking?” Tammy asked.

  Gabi shrugged and reached across the counter for a tissue. “He’s a musician. Writing songs is a part of the job description.” She didn’t want to dissect his reasons for writing this particular song when she knew he didn’t often contribute lyrically to Reckless Beat. Her mind had already started pounding with questions she couldn’t answer, and after day upon day of suffering over him, she now craved the numbness she had become accustomed to.

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “No, I’m not.” Gabi pushed from her chair. “He hasn’t bothered to call me since I left the US. Why should this change the way I feel?” Yes it seemed ridiculous, even to her ears, yet a simple phone call would’ve meant so much more. Gabi didn’t wait for a reply. “I’m going to lunch.”

  Tammy nodded, still staring at her with pity. Damn, she was sick of that look—from her friends, her parents, herself when she looked in the mirror.

  Grabbing her new phone off the counter, she strode outside. The thought of food turned her stomach. What she needed was the comfort of the ocean. As she made her way across the road to the steps leading to the beach, the warm sea breeze blew the hair from her face, but it didn’t calm her. At the bottom step, she kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the sand.

  Still nothing.

  All her life the sea had soothed her. The rush of the swell, the crush of the waves. It was home. Now it only served to remind her of what she’d once had. Blake’s face taunted her every time she glanced toward the water. The sound of his voice echoed amongst the people when she swam. It no longer comforted her. Nothing did.

  She missed him too much to let the pain fade away.

  Heaving a sigh, she sat down on the sand in her grey suit skirt. She wished he would’ve called before releasing the video. Maybe then she’d believe he’d written it to win her back, not because of a publicity stunt.

  Only he hadn’t contacted her at all, and she didn’t know what to do about it. If she called him, she’d regret it. She ran after him last time. She would never respect herself or any future relationship if she had to do it again.

 
Her phone began to sweat in her hand and she glanced down at the screen, hoping for answers. “I should move on.” She spoke the words aloud, making the statement real. But how could she let Blake go? She believed he loved her, only his commitment didn’t seem as strong as hers.

  “Bloody hell.” She had no idea how to fix things.

  “Everything OK, angel?”

  She stiffened. Surely that wasn’t his voice. Slowly she glanced over her shoulder, and her breath caught at the sight of him. “Blake?”

  His lips curved. “Yeah, gorgeous. It’s me.” He stood there, his hands in his jeans pockets, a casual black collared shirt untucked at his waist, and the silver studs on his wrist bands glinting in the sun.

  “What are you doing here?” Her heart fluttered. Evil, betraying heart.

  He shrugged, nervousness and apprehension marring his features. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” He stepped forward and reached out his hand, helping her to stand. “Tammy thought you might be down here.”

  When he released his grip, she wiped the sand off her ass, needing to keep her hands busy. He was so close, within touching distance. Her fingers itched to connect with him. She wanted to caress the dark smudges under his eyes and wipe away the exhaustion.

  He raised a hand to brush away the hair blowing across her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted time to think, but I can’t stay away any longer.” His dark eyes peered down at her, heating her blood. “I can’t live without you anymore, angel.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

  His brows furrowed. “What don’t you believe? That I can’t live without you? Just ask the guys, they’re the ones who had to pull my life back together.”

  “No. I don’t want to ask the guys or hear love songs on YouTube. All I need is for you to be honest and tell me.”

  His hand dropped from her cheek. “I’ve got a lot to explain.”

  “Yeah, you do.” And she hoped like hell that it was convincing.

  “Do you want to go someplace more private?”

  She shook her head. She couldn’t wait a moment longer to hear his reasoning.

  “OK. Wanna sit?”

  She nodded and followed him to the sand, sitting close at his side. He reached for her hand, and for long moments he remained quiet, his fingers running trails along the creases in her palm.

  “I don’t know what to say, Gabi. I don’t want to make this worse. I can’t stand the thought of you walking away for good.”

  “I need the truth. At the moment, I’m struggling to figure this out. Things between us had been fantastic and then you changed. You shut me out, and that’s the one thing I can’t understand. I never could’ve done that to you.”

  “I was sick of being the broken one,” he spoke softly, his voice barely registering over the crash of the ocean. “And my fear of hurting you narrowed my thoughts. When Michelle blackmailed me, all I could think about was how you’d react. How disappointed and upset you’d be. So I kept it to myself, vowing to make it right without dragging you down.”

  “Your honesty would’ve hurt a lot less.”

  His face crumpled, and he nodded. “I…” He let out a derisive laugh and glanced away. “Truth is, I actually thought I was doing the right thing.” His gaze came back to meet hers, searching. “You’ve always been my protector, Gabi, and for once I wanted to protect you—from me.”

  Her heart clenched. “I’ve never needed your protection, Blake. I’ve only ever needed you.”

  He turned his gaze back to the ocean, staring off into the distance. “I know that now. Hindsight’s been painful.” He raised her hand, bringing it to his lips to leave a gentle kiss on her palm. “I’ve made too many mistakes to count. And most of the time, I can’t believe my own stupidity. I should’ve told you. I just couldn’t stand to be weak again.”

  Gabi leaned into him, feeling the strength he didn’t believe existed. “You need to stop letting your past define you, Blake. I wish you could see the brilliant man that I do.”

  His arm circled her shoulder, holding her tight. “You’ve been telling me that for years, and while we were apart, I had a lot of time to think about it. I realized I’m never going to make either one of us happy unless I forgive myself.”

  “And did you?” She pulled back to look him in the eye.

  His mouth tilted at one side, the briefest hint of a smile curving his lips. “After a little ink therapy, yeah, I think I have.”

  “You got another tattoo?”

  He nodded and pulled up the hem of his shirt, revealing the skin below the angel on his left pec. Forgive. Forget. Finally be free. The words were written in fine, black script.

  “It’s beautiful.” She ran a finger over the raised flesh and his stomach clenched, the muscles defining under her touch. A skitter of excitement ran through her veins, heating the intimate parts of her body.

  “Thank you.”

  She ignored the heat in his gaze and rested back into his shoulder. There would be time for intimacy later. Right now she only wanted to be held, to feel the strength of his love embracing her. He lowered his shirt and pulled her into his side, his fingers lazily stroking up and down her waist, giving her goose bumps.

  “I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. “Nothing matters more to me than making you happy for the rest of my life.”

  Gabi squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed with relief. This morning she’d been lost to heartache, and now, even if he hadn’t said a word, she would’ve believed the regret and sincerity in his eyes.

  “Never lie to me again.” She kept her face hidden, not wanting him to see the smile she couldn’t control.

  “Never. I promise.” He kissed her temple, turning her heart to flames. “Do you believe me? Can you believe in me after everything I’ve done?”

  She snuggled into the darkness of his neck, inhaling the scent she associated with love and passion. They were made for each other. There would be more mistakes in the future, more hurdles to overcome and compromises to be made, but none of that mattered if they trusted each other. They could make it work.

  “Yes.” She couldn’t elaborate, her heart was beating too hard, her stomach alive with a mass of butterflies and eagles’ wings.

  He held her tight, pressing his lips into her hair. “God, I’ve missed you.” He kissed her again. “I’ve ached for you with every heartbeat.” She believed him. She always would. “There’s no one else for me. There never will be,” he continued, breaking down her barriers.

  Gabi peered up into his face. She read the sincerity in his eyes, the seriousness in the flat line of his lips. When she was in his arms, surrounded by his warmth and affection, nothing else mattered.

  He lowered his gaze, focusing behind her shoulder. A bright reflection glinted in his pupils and the tinkle of something metallic sounded over the rush of waves. She straightened and pressed her lips together at the sight of her necklace tangled around his fingers.

  “Taking this from you almost killed me.” He paused, letting his words hit her with the brutal force of regret. “I’d never been more proud or happy than on those days when you wore this. I loved knowing a piece of me was on you, touching you.” He turned his hand over, letting the necklace rest in his palm. “Take it back, Gabi. Please.”

  She’d given it to him in New York because she thought his betrayal had made it hang heavier around her neck. She was wrong. It wasn’t the betrayal that strengthened the gold, it was his love—the reminder that he’d picked out a gift more perfect and heartfelt than anything she’d ever received before. The breathtaking birthday present had made her feel guilty for feeling betrayed by him. And at the time, she didn’t want to have those emotions. She only wanted to be angry.

  She slid her hand over his and grasped the necklace. The mere touch of warm gold soothed her heart. He watched her from the corner of his eye as she placed it around her neck and let it rest against her chest.

&n
bsp; Blake leaned over, reaching into his pocket. This time he pulled out another piece of jewelry. One that was smaller, round, and sporting an emerald cut diamond in the center.

  Holy dooley.

  “It’s not enough,” he started, pivoting the band so the sun reflected off the dazzling rock. “Nothing I have will ever be good enough for what you deserve, but I want you to be mine, angel.”

  He turned his face to her, and she swallowed at the love emanating from him. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. In fact every inhalation had been restricted since they first met in person.

  He stood, taking her hand and pulled her to stand on wavering legs. Then he lowered again, down on bended knee and raised the ring between them. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, his lips slightly tilted in an adoring smile. “Sweet angel mine, I love you with everything I am, everything I’ve been, and everything I ever will be. Will you marry me and make my life complete?”

  Gabi sucked in a shaky breath and held it, expanding her chest until it pounded. She felt the same. She loved him with everything she was and everything she ever would be… But this was too soon. Too fast.

  “Please?”

  A panicked chuckle bubbled from her lips and she dropped to her knees in front of him, cupping his cheeks with her palms. “Blake Kennedy, you’re an incredible man who I love dearly. And I do want to marry you.”

  His face fell.

  “I haven’t said ‘no.’” She shook her head in warning, and held him tighter. She stared into his eyes, the dark hue that almost bordered black. The color that always made her melt. “Before we become engaged, can’t we first enjoy being a couple? I want to have fun with you, to learn more about each other without the stress of planning a wedding and a future.”

  He inclined his head and lowered the ring between them. She reached for it, grasping their hands together.

  “Don’t put it away.” She smiled, cheeky and seductive, letting him know things between them would be OK. “I want to wear it. I want to be reminded of your promise every day, but for a little while, can I place it on my necklace?”

  He quirked a brow and released the ring into her hand. “So it’s a no for now?”