by Jenny Wood
“Already? The celebration is just getting started!” Kingsley said, and I noticed the music was a little louder and there were bottles of whiskey with a half dozen shot glasses, lined in a row.
“Yeah, Thanks for inviting me though,” I say honestly. I knew that he and Kayson were alright with me; they maybe even thought that I wasn’t a bad guy. Still, I’d need to tread carefully if I wanted to keep the small place I was renting and the job that I enjoyed.
“Anytime man, you know that,” Kingsley told me. I nodded and waved goodbye to Kady, who was standing just outside the back door with her mom, eating a popsicle.
“Can we just curb the attitudes here fellas.” I heard as I neared the front porch again.
“I don’t have an attitude, Cameron. I’m saying that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, we were just talking. I thought Kingsley embarrassed him by a comment he made in the back yard. I was a good eight feet away from him, sitting on my ass on the porch. It was embarrassing to be run off like I was a fucking kid getting caught with my pants down. He probably didn’t even wanna talk to me, Jody. He was there first.” Jase defended himself for having been talking to me.
“I didn’t say you done anything wrong and watch your fucking mouth and show some respect. I didn’t run you off; I asked what you were doing, alone with a strange man on the porch?” Jody explained. That stung a bit that he’d called me a strange man when I’d been working alongside him for months.
“He’s not a stranger to you, dickhead. You’ve been working with him for months!” Jase pointed out my current thought.
“Baby, will you tell him what the fuck I mean?” Jody asked, who I assume would be Cameron.
“I know what you mean!” Jase hissed before Cameron could say anything. “You embarrassed me. I’m not a kid, man.” He deflated.
“We know you’re not and he didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Cameron said, and I could hear Jody grunt something in response.
“What I’m trying to say is that you don’t know the guy; we don’t really even know the guy. He’s quiet, he doesn’t talk much, and I don’t know where he came from or what kind of person he is; not really. You may not be a kid, but you’re my kid, and that means I’m going to worry about the people you choose to spend your time with. I worried while you were away and I’m going to worry now that you’re home. That’s just something that you’re going to have to get used to again.” Jody tells him softly. I know that it’s at my expense, but I’m glad Jase has that. From his explanation, earlier, I’d guess that he’d not had a lot of people caring for him when he was growing up in the group home. That would be something I’d have asked about, had we gotten more time to get to know each other but, it’s really none of my business. Even if we could be friends or even friendly; talking about his past might push him to ask me about mine and telling him that I’m every bit of the man that Jody’s worried about him being around, he probably wouldn’t stay my friend for long. It’s better this way that Jody nipped the possibility. I didn’t want to jeopardize the life I had going here, and I didn’t like causing dissension between family either.
I was debating on whether to go back around and go in through the house, so they’d hear me coming out the front door or just waiting this conversation out before I gave it a few minutes to make my presence known. I didn’t get to choose.
“Hey,” Jase said nervously, spotting me leaning against the house, looking at my shoes.
“I was just heading out.” I pointed to the front.
“You don’t have to leave already. I figured King and Kayson would be breaking out the hard liquor right about now and before we know it, a game of dominoes or jumbo Jenga will ensue.” He smiled but I couldn’t.
“No, I got shit to do.” I lied without looking at him.
“Ok.” He answered softly and stepped out of my way. I felt like a dick, again but left it at that. I nodded to Cameron as I passed him and I realized once I got into my shitty ass, beaten up old car that I’d been holding my breath until I was alone. Shaking off the dizziness, taking a deep, calming breath; I started up my piece of shit and headed to my small apartment where I’d make a shitty frozen dinner and sit on my shitty, second-hand couch and then I’d pull out my shitty futon and slip into a shitty sleep.
Nothing like being surrounded by shit to make you remember that, that’s all you are.
Jase
Embarrassing, fucking Jody.
Don’t get me wrong; I knew he meant well. I knew his heart was in the right place, but as per Jody; his execution was shit. Walking away before I said something I might regret to someone I care a lot about, I left him and Cameron standing in the front yard. Turning the corner and seeing Joker leaning up against the house, staring at his shoes, I didn’t need to ask how much of our conversation he’d heard.
I tried to talk to him, but I knew from earlier that he wasn’t great at shootin’ the shit. Still, the tiny piece of leeway he’d given me was gone, and that steel trap that he’d kept himself guarded behind was firmly in place. He’d hardly even looked at me before power walking with purpose to his car. It had taken a second for it to start and I could see his shoulders bunched up and tense. I felt bad.
“You okay?” Cameron asked from beside me. I hadn’t even heard him follow me.
“I feel bad; he doesn’t seem like he talks a whole lot and he was talking to me,” I answered honestly. I left out the part where his dimpled smirk had me wanting to learn to juggle or make balloon animals or something equally as ridiculous as long as it meant I’d see it again. I’d felt like I earned it; like he wasn’t used to doing it or doling out smiles and I’d earned one from him. He was gorgeous in a bad-boy kind of, intimidating way but when he smiled; his eyes seemed to have a sparkle to them and holy shit, did I sound ridiculous right now.
“He’s protective of his family; you know that.” Cameron chuckled. “And honestly, he only asked what you guys were doing… you don’t think you got a little defensive?” He asked.
“He embarrassed me.” I reiterated the reason for my attitude. “He treated me like a kid.”
“All the guys treat you like a kid and all the guys embarrass you.” Cameron pointed out looking way to amused for my liking. “You sure you aren’t just upset because he embarrassed you in front of Joker?” He batted his eyes and sing-songed Jokers name. I rolled my eyes but laughed. This is why I loved Cameron; for every hard-ass piece of Jody, Cameron was his counterpart. While Jody was serious, Cameron was goofy. Where Jody was hot-tempered, Cameron was calm. They balanced each other out, and at the moment, Cameron was our voice of reason. He put his arm around me and hugged me to his side. We walked back to the yard, and I gave Jody a wide berth for the rest of the evening, but I knew by morning that both of our tempers would be simmered and we’d talk about shit like rational people. It didn’t hurt that he’d just got engaged tonight and I was positive Cameron would keep him plenty busy and relaxed.
Of course, I was right. The next morning at breakfast; Jody came stumbling in, looking disheveled and surprisingly well rested. He leaned up against Cameron’s back while Cameron was making pancakes and whispered who-knows-what into his ear while I studiously tried to ignore them over my cup of coffee,
“Please don’t forget I’m in here,” I called out with my eyes closed and my coffee cup hiding part of my face. I heard Cameron giggle and Jody snort just before I felt the table shift and Jody pull out a chair. I opened one eye to see him staring at me knowingly with a grin that said all was forgotten yesterday. I couldn’t be so lucky.
“I’m sorry I was a dick, yesterday.” He jumped right in. “You got defensive, and then I got defensive, and shit only escalated from there over something that wasn’t even a big deal. I don’t know Joker that well, but Kayson and Kingsley think he’s alright and he’s a damn good artist. I know you were just trying to be friendly and I overreacted.” He apologized, and I felt much better.
“And I’m sorry that I got defensive. You embarrassed
me in front of a hot guy, and I also overreacted.” I quipped. Cameron spun around so fast with his spatula in the air just as Jody’s back got straight and he looked over at me.
“Now, hold on a minute.” Jody tried,
“Jody,” Cameron warned, and I sat there looking smug. It was a dick move, I knew, but he’d earned it.
“He’s too old for you.” Jody said, ignoring the “ahem” from behind him.
“I’m almost twenty.” I pointed out.
“Almost. You’re still a teenager.” He countered.
“So…?” I snapped back, feeling every bit the teenager as he was arguing that I was. His eyebrows lifted in question and I guess my answer was answer enough.
“Whatever.” I murmured. “While I have you here, can I talk to y’all for a minute?” I turned serious. No time like the present, right?”
“What’s going on?” Jody turned off the stove and joined us at the table. He looked concerned, and Jody looked like he was gearing up again. While I appreciated his concern, I really wanted to kick him under the table right now.
“Well, I know school in Michigan was a bitch to get into,” I start, because the paperwork was rigorous and exhausting at the time. “And, I know I’m supposed to only be here for the summer; but I kind of wanted to see what my options were for sticking closer to town. I wanted to see about taking summer courses online or even a few on campus if I have to, but I’d finish my BA quicker and to be honest, I’m just homesick.” I told them honestly. “I mean, I could get a job, Ms. Jay said that over in Boone County, they have a juvenile shelter for runaways and Conner told me yesterday that he knows their coordinator and he could maybe see about getting me in over there to volunteer or maybe intern or something. I know you guys said that I could come back for summers and stuff and I don’t know about paying rent or anything right now; I suppose I could look at something part time and maybe give you guys a fraction of it each week or something, If I could stay here a little longer than the summer. Not long, not like, long-long and I’d help out and stay out of trouble and shit. You’d probably hardly know I’m here.” I rambled, trying to sell it to where they’d see it wouldn’t be a bad idea.
“Shut up for a second.” Jody interrupted,
“Jase,” Cameron said my name softly, shaking his head and looked to the table. I was surprised, really; I thought it anyone would say no it would be Jody, I didn’t expect Cameron to think it was a bad idea. He’s usually the most encouraging.
“Oh… well… okay, it was just an idea.” I tried to shrug it off, feeling much like I did all those years ago; trying to sell myself to prospective families and having them overlook me for one reason or another.
“We’re your family… this, is your home.” Cameron says, eyes glistening and wet. “Have we ever given you the impression that your time here is limited?” He asked, looking heartbroken and somewhat offended.
“No, no, I didn’t mean to imply that; but I’m almost 20, I went away to college,” I explained.
“And that means you stopped being our family?” Jody asked accusingly. I apparently wasn’t explaining this right, and I was pissing Jody off again.
“No.” I tried to sound confident, but the truth was; I just didn’t know what the rules were. Fuck, this was all new to me too. I was trying to ask to come back to the only place that felt like home to me, but in reality, it wasn’t my home. I didn’t pay for it; I didn’t contribute other than doing chores and helping out around the house. Chores don't pay the bills.
“We own this house. Did you know that? Kayson, Kingsley and me.’ Jody told me. I didn’t know that, that’s kind of awesome. It’s a big ass house with more than enough room for their giant family that kept expanding.
“We told you before you went to Michigan that this was your place to come back to. We meant that and it hasn’t changed.” Jody kept going. I nodded, feeling the lump in my throat that was hard to swallow against.
“If here is where you wanna be, then come home.” He demanded. I couldn’t help but laugh, he sounded so gruff and assholey, but he also sounded like he wanted me to come home; to a place that I felt at home. It was the biggest relief I’d felt in a while.
“Thank you guys,” I whisper, not trusting my voice. Cameron jumped up from the table, still holding his spatula and hugged me. I stood up and let him. “This is your home, forever. Don’t forget that again.” He whispered to me, sounding just as emotional as I felt.
“Alright, alright. So, what’s next? Do we need to go get your shit?” Jody asked, and Cameron released me and stepped back, looking ready to make a list of what needed to be done. I smiled hugely at him.
“No, I’ve got it all, but I want to sign up for online classes for the summer and see about enrolling in Boone next term. It’s what? A fifteen-minute drive over? I also want to meet with Conner and see about meeting his friend at the shelter. That’s all I got right now.” I tell them my plan.
“Sounds good. If you need anything or need any help, let us know.” Jody said, nodded and jumped up to grab some more coffee. I went back to mine, feeling lighter than I had all year.
College courses online were going to be a breeze compared to on-campus classes. I couldn’t believe the four classes I signed up for this morning, started in a week and I’d be working all summer but earning 13 credits that would’ve taken me two semesters in Michigan to get.
After calling and transferring all of my already earned credits from one school to another, I made my way to Conner’s bookstore where he had me video chat via computer to his friend in Boone County. His name was Mark, and he was friendly and hilarious, and we talked for well over an hour about my long-term aspirations and literally, everything else. We set up an interview for Friday, which was two days from now for me to come down and interview with the owner of shelter Shelly and to fill out the necessary paperwork that I’d need for school. It turns out, they didn’t have an internship there, but I could volunteer and work part-time as a custodian/handy-man. Perfect. I’d earn money and rack up experience. Win-win. Mark was also going to be a lot of fun; he was a little bit older than me, but much like Kayson and Kingsley were absolutely nothing was off the table to talk about or bring up. It was oddly comforting. I was feeling more accomplished in my one day of planning than I’d felt in a long time. Leaving Conner’s bookstore that just happened to be direct across the street from the shop; I decided to go in and see what was going on with my family for the day.
“What up, kid?” Kingsley smiled when I walked in but kept his hands on the ass of a young woman he was inking. I lifted my chin in greeting.
“Who all’s here?” I asked, seeing no one else up front.
“Kayse is back there somewhere on the phone with Jeb; he left out three boxes this month.” He rolls his eyes, talking about their supplier where they get all their shit. Seems like he was always forgetting something or sending the wrong thing. It was getting to be a headache, I’m sure. I walked to the back to find Kayson and was surprised when I came chest to face, slamming into Joker’s hard body.
“Fuck, sorry!” I said, bouncing off of him. He grabbed my arms to steady me but jerked back as if I’d burned him.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear anyone coming back.” He says, dismissively, sidestepping me and walking away. Rude.
“How’s my fiancé?” Kayson says the minute he notices me walk through the back curtain- no longer on the phone. He’s got that sickening grin on his face that he gets when he’s thinking about or anywhere in the near vicinity of Conner.
“He’s with the water cooler guy over there,” I tell him as seriously as I can muster. “Dude, did you know they actually deliver water, shirtless? They pick up those big ol’ water jugs and sometimes a little bit spills, traveling from their hard chests to their rock hard….”
“Shut up!” He barks before I can finish. That loved up smirk is long gone and in its place, is a ridiculous pout. I can’t help but crack up at the idiot. He knows I’m lying, but even the t
hought of someone else with his man gives Kayson a case of the jellies.
“Is somebody peanut butter and jealous?” I taunt him like the child that I’m acting like.
“No chance. I’ve got him locked down; he’s not goin’ anywhere.” He says smugly. My eyes roll so hard; I fear they might get stuck. It’s all for show, though, we know it’s the truth. “So, how’d it go?” He asks, knowing I had a phone meeting with Mark today.
“Really well, I’m meeting with him on Friday for a kind of, non-formal interview with the owner. He already said everything looked good, I just have to go meet the owner and take a drug test. They’re doing the background check now I think.” I shrugged. I can pass both with flying colors, and I’ll meet Shelly on Friday. I’m not nervous; this is what I want to do with my life. I won’t mess it up.
“That’s really great, man. I’m glad you’re on your way to doing what you want to do.” He says, unpacking boxes and checking things off of his list that’s setting on the table.
“You need any help?” I offer.
“Nah, I got this. I need to keep track of everything because Jeb fucked us again this month and I’m going to have to send out another order.” He huffed, shaking his head in exasperation.
“Why don’t you find another supplier?” I ask, knowing that this isn’t the first time.
“His daughter has leukemia; he’s struggling. I can’t fault him for that.” He answers. I nod in understanding. It’s only one of the reason’s these guys are so great. They’ll do all they can to help someone they know. I love that about them.
“I’ll be sure to mention her in my prayers tonight,” I tell him honestly. I may not be religious, but I believe in a higher power. I believe that there is someone up there watching out for us; my life turned out too good to imagine that someone, somewhere didn’t have a hand in that.
“Good kid.” He slapped my shoulder as he walked back into the storage room for another box.
“Kayse, walk-in!” Kingsley yelled from the gallery as Joker stepped back behind the curtain and stopped right in front of me. Kayson excused himself, quickly leaving us alone. He didn’t bat an eye at leaving us alone together, not like Jody would’ve. I know that he’s bad with small talk or initiating conversation at all, but after last night, I don’t want to say the wrong thing, and I don’t want to make things worse than Jody already did. Instead, I stare like a deer caught in headlights, and I wait for him to speak.