by Jill Shalvis
behind, we’re going to do this slowly. Football first. Go.”
“I suck at it. Okay? Is that what you want to know? I’m not Tanner Riggs, and I never will be.”
“Well, thank God for that,” Tanner said fervently, then let out a mirthless laugh when Troy just stared at him. “Jesus. Do you really think I want you to be me?” he asked. “I made a boatload of mistakes, Troy. I hope to God you don’t follow my path and make as many as I did.”
“Like get your girl knocked up?” Troy asked.
Well, yeah. That. Tanner was pretty sure he shouldn’t be craving a drink just to have this discussion with his teenager, but again, more proof he was about as far from a perfect dad as a guy could get. The most important thing he had to do here was walk slowly through the minefield, and not just because Elisa had never really been his girl but because he’d grown up knowing his dad had been able to walk away from him. And that shit…that had done a number on his head for a lot of years.
No way was he going to ever let Troy go through the same thing. “My actions were the mistake,” Tanner said carefully. “Sleeping with a girl before I understood the ramifications enough to protect us both was the mistake. You’re not a mistake. Never you, Troy.” He felt his throat tighten and his eyes burn. “In fact, you’re the very best part of my life.”
Troy stared at him, obviously a little blown back by Tanner’s vehemence.
“Now if we’re straight in that department,” Tanner finally said, “let’s move on to the other points. Are you sexually active with this girl? Are you using protection?”
Troy blinked. “I told you it’s not what you think.”
“I don’t know what that means, Troy.”
Troy looked out the window, jaw tight.
“Okay,” Tanner said, knowing pushing right now wasn’t the answer. “Next point. No one, and I mean no one, wants or expects you to live up to whatever dubious distinction the name Tanner Riggs brings.”
Troy snorted. “Everyone here expects me to live up to you, Dad.”
Tanner went still. Troy had used the word “dad” several times now, but it was never going to get old. He wanted to treasure it, wanted to demand Troy say it again. “Well, then,” he said instead, “what I really want you to know is that you shouldn’t give a shit what anyone thinks.”
“Easy for the football star to say. You’re not going to put on a pair of tights and get on stage.”
Tanner hid his grimace. “But you get to kiss the girl.”
The kid tried to hold back a smile and failed. “Yeah. And I get to die. It’s awesome.”
“So see, it’s what you think that matters,” Troy said. “Not anyone else.”
Troy nodded. “That’s what Callie said you’d say.”
“You discussed this with Callie?”
“Yeah, and I don’t know what’s up with girls but they have a way of making you talk.”
Troy sounded so baffled that Tanner nearly laughed. “Get used to it,” he muttered, but a part of his brain was back on Callie. Was he actually jealous of what she and Troy had?
Yeah, he decided. He was.
“You can’t be mad at her,” Troy said, reading his mind with startling ease.
Since this was sounding like a repeat of a conversation he’d had with Callie in reverse, when she’d told him he couldn’t be mad at Troy, Tanner shook off his annoyance. “And the color purple?” he asked. “You hate it since before or after you painted your entire room purple?”
Troy winced.
“Since before then,” Tanner muttered. He leaned back. “Jesus. It’s really true.”
“What’s true?”
“We’re a lot alike.”
Troy did not look any more thrilled at this knowledge than Tanner felt. He shook his head. “Think we can have a cease-fire?” he asked the kid.
Troy went wary. “What would that involve?”
Tanner slid him a look. “You talking more than you have, for one.”
Troy made a face.
“You continuing to make yourself at home here in Lucky Harbor with things like doing the play for another,” Tanner said.
Troy just stared at him.
“And most especially,” Tanner added, “you picking out a color for your walls that you like.”
“And what about you?” Troy asked.
“What about me?”
“Well, if I have to do all this stuff like talk and crap,” Troy said, “seems like you should have to do something.”
“Like…?”
“Like—” Troy broke off.
“Oh, don’t chicken out now,” Tanner said. “Talk to me.”
“Callie.”
Tanner paused. “What about her?”
Troy looked down at his feet. “If you’re holding back with her ’cause of me…”
“No. I’m not.”
Troy looked up. “So you two are a thing?”
“No.”
Troy blinked. “I don’t get it.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated, like you don’t like her enough?” Troy asked, both disappointment and anger crossing his face. “Because that sucks. She’s totally into you. Like, really into you. If you don’t like her, you’re leading her on.”
Tanner let out a long breath. “It’s not like that. We decided we’re…friends.”
Troy stared at him. “She put you in the friend zone?”
Why did everyone in his life think that this was all Callie’s doing? Because besides your son, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and everyone but you, the resident jackass, knows it…
“What did you do?” Troy asked. “Did you forget your one-month anniversary? Or accidentally bring up another girl? Or tell her that you think any Nicholas Sparks movie is dumb? Girls don’t like any of that stuff.”
Tanner scrubbed his hands over his face. “We agreed to be friends. The two of us agreed.”
With benefits…
And how’s that working out for ya? a voice inside his head asked.
Troy shook his head. “That was dumb.”
“Yeah.” Tanner blew out another breath. “It was.”
“So…”
Tanner looked at him. “So…what?”
“God, Dad. Even I know you go after the girl when you do something dumb.”
Tanner stared at him and Troy laughed. Laughed. The sound was precious. “I love you,” Tanner said.
Troy’s smiled faded.
“I’ve been trying to give you your space before I said that too much,” Tanner said. “I wanted you to get to know me, but that doesn’t seem to be working out so well for us and I don’t want to waste any more time. I love you, Troy. And like I said, that’s never going to change. You need to know that.”
Troy broke eye contact and stared out the window. “I do know it.”
“Well…good.”
Troy eyed him warily. “So do we have to, like, hug now or something?”
“Yeah,” Tanner said, and snagged Troy with an arm around the neck and pulled him in, giving him a knuckle rub on the head first for good measure.
With another of those precious laughs, Troy shoved free. “Hope you got that out of your system.”
“I probably didn’t,” Tanner said. “I might feel the need to tell you that. A lot.”
“And the hugging?” Troy asked, the wary look on his face just a front now.
“I don’t know, man,” Tanner said. “I kinda liked it.”
Troy stared at him, a new light in his eyes, one that Tanner had never seen before.
Not love, not exactly, but affection.
He’d take it.
Chapter 24
One week later—seven deliciously sexy, erotic nights in Tanner’s arms—it was finally Becca and Sam’s bachelorette/bachelor party. Mother Nature cooperated with mild temps, but as night fell they combated the chill with carefully placed outdoor heaters along the dock and on the boat. The decorations were u
p and the boat was rollicking with friends and family when Callie took her first deep breath.
Her phone buzzed with an incoming text from one of her brides. The “litter” bride.
Everything was perfect, Callie. I know I panicked a lot leading up to the wedding. And I also know the odds are good I’ll panic occasionally throughout this marriage as well. But the wedding was worth every bit of angst and so is my husband. Thank you for believing in love and teaching me to believe as well.
Callie stared at the text for a long moment. An epiphany probably shouldn’t be inspired by a text from a bride she didn’t even know all that well, but there was no denying that she felt something loosen in her chest as she let the words sink in.
The wedding was worth every bit of angst and so is my husband…
Thank you for believing in love…
Was it true? Had she slowly come to believe in love?
“You did well, honey.” Lucille came up beside her and slipped a hand in hers. “Look at them. So happy.”
Callie took in the sight of Becca standing in the bow, wearing a gorgeous dress and boots, both of which Olivia had gifted her from the vintage shop. Becca was glowing with happiness—as she had been since early that morning when she’d peed on a stick, turned it blue, and pounded on Callie’s and Olivia’s doors at the crack of dawn to tell them she was pregnant. Now Becca was greeting a group of friends as they arrived. Sam came up to his soon-to-be bride and, clearly not caring one whit that they had an audience, pulled her in close and laid a hell of a kiss on her.
Something tightened deep inside Callie. A yearning, she realized. An ache. Each of her friends here was part of a couple, and she was so happy for them. She truly was.
But something clicked in place and she realized…she wanted that too. She wanted what Sam and Becca had. What Olivia and Cole had. She wanted to wake up next to the same person every morning and have him see her Wild Man of Borneo hair and be okay with that and whatever their future brought. She wanted to let a man all the way in, wanted him to know her crazy grandma and understand those were her genes and have him still want her. She wanted to know that the man she loved felt the same about her and always would.
This yearning went against everything she’d been telling herself for years. After all, she’d been down that road before and had purposely veered off, taken a different path.
But she could admit something now—she’d never really let herself love all the way. Not once. Seeing Becca and Olivia so open and loving with Sam and Cole, she knew she’d always held back, always kept a part of herself safe. Just in case.
But love wasn’t safe. You had to take the plunge and hope for the best.
Sam pulled back from Becca just far enough to curl an arm around her, keeping her close as possible as they greeted people. He was as big and bad and tough as they came, but he kept looking down at Becca with undeniable and unapologetic love, like she was his entire world.
It actually made Callie’s chest hurt. Cole and Olivia looked at each other like that too. And a part of Callie suspected that she looked at Tanner that way. And she thought maybe he looked at her the same. And even as she thought it, a little seed of warmth burst from deep inside her, soothing her ache of a moment before.
She could have that, she realized. In fact, it felt like she and Tanner were working their way up to exactly that. He was such a good man. He’d stepped up for his mom, for his son, for everyone in his life. It was what he did. For perhaps the first time in her life, she thought maybe she could really let herself believe. Believe in him.
Ironic, given that he’d been her first real crush.
And now he was her first real love.
Still at her side, Lucille sighed dreamily at Sam and Becca. “These two might be my favorite so far.”
Callie looked at her. “Your favorite so far?”
“Well, it used to be Chloe and Sawyer, but then Sawyer told me he was going to have my driver’s license taken away if I kept driving. Scratched him off the fave list pronto, I can tell you that. I mean, he’s hot, but I’m an excellent driver. My next favorite was Dr. Josh Scott because, well, if you met him you’d understand. But he insists on bugging me about my diet and high blood pressure, blah-blah. And then there was Ben.” Lucille smiled fondly. “Ben was the hardest match because trust me, Aubrey wasn’t the obvious choice for him. Nearly everyone in town disagreed with me. But from day one I knew it’d work between them. I’ve never met two people more suited for each other. But then Becca moved to town and I could see her with Sam. So yeah, they’re my current fave, but they won’t be my last.” She slid Callie a look. “That’ll be you, by the way. In case you’re not keeping up.”
Callie had a feeling that she wasn’t only not keeping up, she wasn’t even in the same time zone.
Lucille sighed. “I swear, I’m starting to think you were adopted. You,” she said slowly, pointing at Callie. “You’re going to be my absolute fave, my darling, and my last.”
Callie stared at her as a new fear gripped her deep inside. “Your last? Why, are you sick?”
“No, I’m not sick. I’m going to outlive all of you. I’m just going to retire.”
“From the art gallery?”
“Oh, hell no. What would I do with myself? No, I’m going to retire from matchmaking. After you get your happily-ever-after, of course.” She beamed. “With Tanner.”
Callie’s heart executed a little somersault right there in her chest as someone came up behind her, slid his arms around her waist, and pressed his mouth to her temple in a sweet kiss.
She did her best not to melt as Tanner’s low voice sounded in her ear. “Hey, you,” he said, and then lifted his head and smiled at Lucille. “You look like you’re up to no good.”
Lucille smiled innocently. “Mischief managed.” She sent Callie a wink and moved off.
Tanner pulled Callie in even closer to him and dropped his head to kiss her neck. “Miss you.”
“Hmm,” she said. “I can feel exactly how much you seem to miss me.” She nudged her backside into the part of him that missed her most.
He chuckled low in his throat. “I want you,” he said. “Hard for a man to hide that.”
Hard indeed.
She turned in the circle of his arms and felt her breath catch at just the sight of him. She smiled, cupped his face, and went up on tiptoe to press her lips to his.
He smiled against her.
And her heart sighed again. “I trust you,” she whispered without realizing she was speaking the words out loud.
He bent and pressed his lips to hers. “Good to know. What is it you trust me with?”
Everything.
He laughed softly, a little wickedly, and kissed her once more. “You can tell me later. Better yet, you can show me later.”
Cole came and snagged Tanner for something boat-and-equipment related. Olivia started up things with a wedding scavenger hunt, and Callie ended up winning a set of penis shot glasses—a gag gift Olivia slipped into the mix.