A Soldier's Christmas

by Lexi Buchanan

  Emma felt close to tears because that was surely her mom’s confession. It had to be.

  “Why, Mom?” her voice broke miserably. Until then, she hadn’t realized just how much she didn’t want it to be because of her own mother—anything…anyone…but her mom.

  “He was overseas, you and Seth were here. You weren’t really living, or rather you were, but for his letters. I wanted you to forget him and go after Seth.”

  “But I never did. I didn’t want Seth, Mom. The only person I’ve ever connected to is out in the barn with Dad.” Emma swiped at the tears as they ran down her face. “Why would you want me to be so unhappy? I cried and longed for just one word from him to let me know that he was still breathing. All this time, you’ve known he was fine.”

  “I didn’t think at first, but then it got to the point where it would have seemed odd to suddenly start receiving them again.” Her mom wiped at a stray tear on her own cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought that within a month you’d be back to your usual self.”

  “Mom, I haven’t been myself for a long time.” Then something else dawned on Emma. “Did you read my letters to him? How did you stop me from receiving his? Did you read his too before you destroyed them?” Emma started pacing as her anger rose.

  “Emma, please sit down and I’ll answer your questions.”

  Emma paused and grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the counter before she sat back down. Her mom looked upset about her confession, but she was too calm when Emma needed to shout and scream.

  “I never read any of the letters, yours or his. I just never mailed yours and…and, I got a friend to keep Logan’s back so that they wouldn’t get delivered. She’d then message me and I’d go pick them up in town…I’m so sorry, Emma.”

  Emma shook her head. “What did you do with the letters?”

  “I’ll get them.” Her mom stood and walked out of the kitchen, slower than she normally would.

  Emma tried to ignore the fact that her mom seemed genuinely sorry for holding them back, but she couldn’t forgive her, at least not yet.

  Walking back in, her mom held a box, that at one time held a pair of boots, and placed it in front of her.

  “Everything is in there.”

  She lifted her eyes and let her mom see all her pain. “You do realize that what the ‘friend’ did by stopping Logan’s letters from reaching the house was illegal and that Logan and I would be within our rights to report what happened to the sheriff.” Emma wouldn’t be talking to the sheriff, but she’d support whatever decision Logan made. They were a team.

  “Oh, Emma, please don’t do that. She did it for me. I know I shouldn’t have asked her, but I did it because I was worried about you being so lost in a man that you’d never met.”

  She had to give her mom something because no matter what she’d done or the reason why, Emma still loved her mother. “Providing everything is in here,” she rested her hand on the box, “then we probably won’t.”

  Emma stood and pulled on her coat.

  “You’re leaving? Please, Emma. Stay and have some cake. Let me apologize to Logan.”

  Emma held the box tightly in her arms and faced her mom. “I need to be alone with Logan right now.” She pulled open the backdoor and walked down the steps, her tears coated her face. At Logan’s truck, Emma placed the box onto the backseat and went looking for her man.

  She tried to control the water works but nothing seemed to work, which is why, when Logan saw her, he dropped the tool and dashed to her side.

  “What the hell!” He pulled her into his arms before he set her a bit away to cup her face. “What happened, babe? You’re scaring me.”

  Emma shook her head, and mumbled. “They’re in the truck.”

  “What? What’s in the truck?” Logan looked confused, but as he gazed into her eyes, she saw it register what she meant.

  “The letters. She says they are all there,” she confirmed.

  “Emma, honey, what’s going on?” her dad asked.

  She’d forgotten her dad would be in the barn when she’d gone looking for Logan. She’d just needed him and nothing else had crossed her mind.

  “Did you know that Mom is responsible for our letters not reaching each other?”

  “What?” Her dad looked surprised, and cursed under his breath. “No, I didn’t,” he added, tight lipped, angry. “She seriously kept Emma’s letters from you?”

  Logan nodded.

  “But how did she stop Logan’s from reaching you?” He took his wool cap off and scratched his head before placing it back down.

  “Mom’s friend at the post office held them back and gave them to Mom.”

  “She admitted that?” Logan asked.

  “Yeah. Can we go? I can’t be here right now.”

  “Yeah, c’mon.” Logan took her hand and turned to her dad. “I’m sorry to abandon you, but I need to take care of Emma.”

  Her father smiled. “You’re a good man, and I’m sorry my wife tried to keep you both apart. As for the sleigh, don’t worry. My daughter is more important.”

  Emma cried and hugged her father. “Thank you.”

  Her father hugged her back before shoving her toward Logan. “Go with your man, and Logan...”

  “Sir?”

  “Look after my daughter, there’s only one Emma.”

  “You have my word that she’ll be in good hands with me.”

  He nodded and walked off while Emma chuckled against Logan’s chest.

  “I never thought I’d find amusement today, but you telling my father that I’m in good hands was amusing.”

  Logan rolled his eyes as they alighted with mirth. “I love having my hands on you.” He became serious. “Where are the letters?”

  “In the back seat of your truck.”

  He raised a brow in question.

  “She kept them all in a large shoe box.”

  He kissed Emma on the forehead and she felt her heart swell with love for him.

  “Let’s go back to our room and read our letters.”

  Logan slung his arm around her shoulders, and held her close before he lifted her into his truck.

  Chapter 17

  Logan had felt a great deal of relief when Emma had told him that the letters were in his truck. They finally knew what had happened to them and the letters were currently spread out all over the bed.

  Emma cuddled between his spread thighs on the bed while she finished reading one of the letters he’d written to her. By her sniffles into a Kleenex, he knew that she was crying and, reading over her shoulder, he also had tears on his face. The letter had been the most heartbreaking that he’d written because he’d just lost one of his best friends. He’d written down every emotion that he’d felt at that time, and the memory of writing those words made his chest ache. It had been the writing of those words on the paper that Emma read that had finally made him break down and give in to the tears. Matthew had been his best friend since they’d met on their first day at boot camp. They’d even shared an apartment when they hadn’t been deployed before Matthew had married his high school sweetheart. But they’d stayed close and Logan was the godfather to Matthew’s daughter, Alice. Matthew and family had lived in base housing, but his wife, Claire, had moved back home to be close to her family after his death. He didn’t blame her, and planned on visiting as soon as everything with Emma and her family was sorted.

  But reading his words left a rock in his gut the size of a mountain. He missed his friend and, although he wanted to visit Claire to make sure that she was doing okay, he was terrified of what he might find. The love that his buddy had shared with his wife was what everyone wished to have one day. He felt he could have that with the woman who currently cried softly in his arms.

  She’d finished reading his letter and turned into him. He tilted her face up to his, and placed a tender kiss to her lips.

  Emma whispered, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you.” She cried and held on to him for wh
at felt like hours but was probably five minutes. “You didn’t have anyone to talk to. She stopped me from being there—to give you comfort or to, at least, let you know how much I loved you and prayed for your safe return.” She turned back into his shirt and cried, but all he remembered from all that was the word ‘love’.

  He held her until she’d cried herself out before he slid her down on the bed and mopped her up with more Kleenex. “Emma, do you remember what you just said?”

  Smiling through her remaining tears, Emma nodded her head. “I love you, Logan. I fell in love with you over eighteen months ago, and now that you’re here with me, my love for you has grown stronger.” She offered him a watery smile. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.”

  Logan held her close, his words refused to form in his head with how overwhelmed he was. Outside of his parents, he’d only said the words once in his life—when Matthew was taking his last breath, Logan had whispered to his friend how much he loved him. And he had, as a brother, he’d never said it to a woman, but he wanted to say the words to Emma.

  He cupped her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you.” He sighed on a chuckle of happiness. “I’ve loved you for just as long, which is why not receiving a letter from you hurt more than it should have. The words you wrote to me meant so much, and I fell in love with you.” He placed a feather light kiss across her lips. “I love you.”

  He held tight as Emma snuggled against him. The feel of her body against him warmed him through and he hoped that he’d never have to let her go. Her hand pressed into his back as though she wanted him closer. There was only one way he’d be closer and then he’d be inside her.

  With a silent groan, he realized that Emma had fallen asleep in his arms while he suffered through one hell of a boner. He placed a kiss to her forehead before he slithered out from under her and caught his breath when her knee came into contact with his groin.

  He stood at the side of the bed and glanced down at himself and winced. His hard dick would be obscene if he was in public with it bulging against his thigh. He smiled and reached inside to move it into a more comfortable position—reaching up to his navel.

  He glanced at Emma and smiled with pleasure at her curled up asleep. Her glorious auburn waves curled down her back in a loose tie, her hands were partially hidden by the pillow that he’d shoved beneath her when he’d moved. Her lips were slightly parted, and as he caressed her with his eyes, his heart flooded with even more love for her as he exhaled in a long sigh of contentment.

  He stepped away from the bed and realized the letters were still all over the bed and floor, so he gathered them together and made two piles—his and hers.

  Emma’s letters to him had only been half read because she had become too emotional reading his, and he’d wanted to comfort her.

  Glancing back to the bed, Emma still slept soundly so he made himself comfortable in the chair by the window and opened one of her last letters…

  Dearest Logan,

  I wish with all my heart that I had another way to contact you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I wake up for a new day and you’re there in my head, echoing in my heart. I go to sleep every night after re-reading all your letters because I feel with everyday that passes I’m not going to hear from you again.

  I pray every Sunday at church that you are still in good health and that nothing has happened to you.

  Your lack of response tells me that you’ve started writing to someone else, and that I don’t matter anymore. Is that true? Please write and tell me. It hurts to imagine that you have, but I feel that if it was, you’d have told me.

  We connected. I know we did and your silence is terrifying if I have to be honest.

  I need to know that you’re still with me.

  Please, Logan. Please write back to me.

  All my love,

  Emma

  Logan finished reading and let his hand drop to his lap. As he gazed outside, it didn’t really register that fresh snow fell because all he could focus on was Emma’s desperation to know that he was safe.

  How could her mother do that to them? To her own daughter? Her mom should be made to read their letters, and perhaps, she’d have more of an understanding about what she’d done to them.

  He was a total stranger to her family, but Emma was their daughter...sister. Emma must feel such a betrayal over what her mom had decided to do, all in the name of keeping her daughter tied to an ass who really didn’t appreciate Emma.

  She was unhappy with Seth, and her words said so much more than what she’d have ever said out loud to her family, but hell! He was annoyed that the letters they’d written to each other hadn’t been received.

  He knew himself well enough to know that something would be said the next time he saw her mom. Emma was his to protect and defend. Although he didn’t want to have a bad relationship with Emma’s mom, he wasn’t going to keep his feelings to himself. She needed to hear what he had to say.

  It took a while, and he had no idea how long he’d sat in the chair, but the heavy snowfall outside the window finally registered with him. The lights from the stores across the road looked hazy through the snow.

  He hadn’t meant to lose track of time and get lost in the past with his memories. The other letters sat on the table beside him, but he didn’t think he was ready to read them just yet. Eventually, he would. But knowing how much Emma longed for word from him from across the miles hurt him more than he thought it would, and he didn’t want to sink further into heartache while he had the woman herself in his bed.

  Logan glanced at Emma, who was curled up against a pillow, and a longing so intense hit him in the gut. She really was beautiful, on the inside and out. Her heart was good to want to write and share her life through letters with a stranger thousands of miles away.

  Emma moaned and turned slightly in her sleep, so Logan stood and moved over to the bed. He climbed on, settled down beside her, and smiled when she opened her eyes.

  “You’re just as beautiful asleep as you are awake.” He leaned in and kissed her sweet lips. “You always taste of...home.” Logan offered her a small smile knowing that he spoke the truth.

  “You’re stuck with me now. I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.” Emma sighed against him and cuddled closer. “I’m still tired.”

  Logan pulled her into his arms and gasped when she curled her leg between his, her knee rubbing against his groin. “You might still be tired, but you’ve just woken me up.”

  Emma chuckled and rubbed against him again. The pleasure rapidly rose in Logan, and he realized that he’d be having a shower if Emma really did go back to sleep.

  “Did you read any of the letters I sent you?”

  His breath caught at the back of his throat with Emma’s question. And after reading one of them, he still felt unsure as to whether or not he’d be able to discuss them with his heartache being apparent.

  “Logan?” She raised her head and met his gaze. Her hand caressed one side of his face, her thumb traced the outline of his lips. “I know how you feel, and we don’t need to talk about them tonight because I just want to sleep in your arms all night.”

  With a nod, Logan moved from the bed and stripped Emma down to her panties and bra, while trying to keep his aroused state from her. Emma kept her eyes closed, so he needn’t have bothered keeping it hidden.

  Once she looked more comfortable, Logan undressed, but kept his briefs on so his arousal wouldn’t poke her in the ass, because, as he climbed under the covers with her, he pulled her close.

  Chapter 18

  Emma knew it was early when she peeled an eye open to look around the room, but the call of nature woke her up while it was still dark outside. The hot, hard body of Logan behind her had kept her warm because as she pulled her arms out from the quilt, she felt the chill of the room.

  She’d love nothing more than to stay where she was, but her bladder
couldn’t be ignored any longer. She cursed to herself as she carefully tried to slip from Logan’s strong arms.

  “Where are you going?” Logan asked, his voice full of sleep as his arms tightened around her.

  She was pulled back against his chest. “I need to pee.”

  He chuckled softly in her ear, which caused goose bumps to break out on her arms and need to flood her body. Her nipples hardened and an insistent throb started between her thighs. Emma wiggled and pushed her bottom into Logan’s groin.

  “Mmm, Emma.” He held her hips and rubbed his erection against her. “You need to escape to the bathroom while you can.” Regardless of his words, he slipped a hand into the front of her panties and let his fingers tease her mound.

  She’d forgotten all about the bathroom with the feel of his heavy arousal and the wicked fingers that teased her. But they both had too many clothes on for what she wanted to happen next. “I want us naked.”

  Her bra quickly snapped open before Logan kissed down her spine as he moved further down the bed, beneath the quilt. His fingers moved from her panties seconds before he bit her on the ass.

  Logan pushed her panties down her legs, and, with her help, they landed somewhere at the bottom of the bed. He spread her thighs and settled between while she untangled herself from the bra. Her nipples rubbed against the bed, heightening her arousal with the feel of him rubbing her pussy lips.

  He didn’t try to push any fingers inside her; he just rubbed with a quick touch to her clit—over and over again.

  “Logan, please,” she begged, and moaned into the pillow when she felt his tongue as it tickled and teased at her entrance.

  One of Logan’s legs straddled one of hers, which allowed her to feel his large erection against the inside of her leg as he rotated his hips.

  “If I enter you, this will be over too soon.” He pushed his tongue inside and she saw stars.

  Her vaginal muscles contracted to try and keep him inside. He chuckled and did it again. Her hips had a life of their own and rocked against his wicked mouth.