“And this is one of the million reasons why I love you,” Jewels says, leaning in to kiss his cheek. She beams across the kitchen at me. “Theo gave me the number for a realtor who’s known for finding hidden gems for rent at low cost. Maybe we could check out a few places.”
Just like that, I’m filled with a renewed hope. Maybe there’s another option after all.
Six hours later, we’re standing in the third and last “gem” Barbara Bernstein had to show us, this one in Hunts Point. Outside of the apartment building, there was a crowd gathered where two homeless men were violently fighting over something, and a spindly young girl asked if we wanted to party. I’m not sure if she was offering sexual favors or drugs, but she was far too young to be suggesting either one.
The “apartment” isn’t any bigger than my bedroom back in Wisconsin, and smells like old cheese. There’s a hole in the plaster next to the refrigerator where it looks like someone either chucked something big, or found a way to release their anger. The sounds of screaming children, a woman yelling, and multiple sirens blend together, sounding as if they’re in the room along with us. At least there don’t seem to be any rats, unlike the last place she showed us.
Fear sticks in my throat with the thought of staying somewhere like this all alone. I was raised in a house with five girls. There was always someone stealing someone else’s things, someone on the rag who’d threaten to murder you over an ill look, or someone who was devastated over some guy. I can’t begin to imagine what I would do by myself all the time.
Barbara stands awkwardly in the center of the room, fingering the string of pearls around her neck. She’s a very slender woman with narrow features and bleached blond hair that could almost pass as a wig, dressed in a stylish suit jacket, pencil skirt, and heels that make her the same height as Jewels. She couldn’t look any more out of place in the dump.
“You know a coat of paint could do wonders to the place,” she says. “My son-in-law’s a contractor. I could get you a good deal on fixing that hole.”
Jewels clutches my arm, eyeing the place like it’s about to explode. “Unless your son-in-law’s in the business of performing miracles, I think we’ll pass.”
“Sweetheart, with the price range you asked me to work with, this is what you’re going to get.” She holds her hands out to her side. “I’m sorry, but this is Manhattan.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “Thanks for your time.”
We follow her down the three flights of stairs and back outside where two police officers have joined the crowd surrounding the homeless men. One of the homeless men is down on his knees, sobbing, and the other is being detained by one of the officers.
Barbara pulls a business card from her designer handbag and hands it to me. “If you change your mind about any of the places we saw today, give me a call. You seem like a sweet girl. I wish you luck in finding somewhere nicer than this.” She casually strolls away past the escalating drama like she’s seen it all before.
My phone buzzes with another text from Theo. He’s been keeping tabs on us all day, wondering how the apartment hunting pans out. I’m hesitant to tell him just how bad the places were since he was nice enough to send a realtor my way.
“I’m sorry we didn’t find anything,” Jewels tells me. “Looks like you’ll just have to stay with us until you can afford a nicer place.” She eyes the police officers, grabbing my arm. “Let’s get a taxi and get the hell out of here before we’re pillaged or murdered.”
“Wait,” I say, pulling her back to me. “I’m not staying with you guys. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve time alone. I know how excited you were to share a place with Adam. And I need to be on my own instead of relying on my bestie to hold my hand. Besides, I found another option.”
She draws her eyebrows together. “What? When?”
“Erik offered me his spare room.”
“He what?” Her eyes light with disbelief. “I hope you’re not seriously considering staying with him! It’d make more sense to stay with us!”
“Would you chill? He’s got a really nice place, Jewels. He said I could stay free of charge if I clean for him. I guess his cleaning lady quit or something.”
Jewels folds her arms with one of her deep, teacher-like frowns. “How do you know he’s got a nice place?”
Knowing she’s going to be even more livid, I bite my lip. “I went there with Chloe.”
The frown dissolves. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Now she just looks hurt that I wouldn’t trust her with my secret.
“Because I figured you’d freak out like this. I’m sorry, Jewels. I just wanted to give him a chance and check the place out before I made any kind of a decision. His offer seemed too good to be true.”
“That’s because it is! He’s probably expecting you to repay him with sexual favors!”
“Wow. You think I’d agree to do something like that?” I snap with a huff.
“I think it’s something he would expect! He’s not someone you want to get involved with!”
“I don’t plan on getting involved with him, I just want to live in his apartment.” I flinch as the half-lie falls from my lips. “Besides, what do you really know about Erik other than what Adam says? I’ve probably spent more time with him than you have. He’s a little on the arrogant side, but if he’s truly the big asshole like you keep saying he is, why would he offer me his spare room?”
“I don’t know, Kel. Maybe because he wants to have sex with you?”
I laugh in a hollow sound. “You really think that little of me, huh?”
“Not you, him!” Her face turns a dark scarlet, something I rarely see. “God, quit doing that! Don’t you remember that I threatened to punch you next time you thought something like that? I don’t think you’re the sex addict you see yourself as. I’m more concerned with what will happen if you move in with Erik!”
Some of the crowd gathered down the street has started to take interest in our conversation, and they’re not the type we want attention from. I wrap my hand around her wrist and lean in. “I appreciate your concern, really. I know you’re just worried about me, but I can handle myself. I’m not signing any kind of contract or anything. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll move back in with you.”
Jewels lets out a soft sigh. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I won’t. Besides, last night Theo and I entertained the idea of dating.” I release her wrist and smile. Suddenly, I realize how much I want this thing with Theo to happen. If I live with Erik, it’ll be with the original understanding that we won’t have sex. “I’m not going to do anything to mess that up.”
“Really?” She beams back at me. “Oh my god, nothing would make me happier than to have my two besties hook up! Wait until I tell Adam!”
“Please don’t make a big deal out of it. We decided to take things slow. I’m done having sexual romps with random guys. If I’m going to pursue this thing with Theo, I’m going to do it right. I can’t even remember the last time I went on a real date.”
“I’m so happy for you!” She bursts forward to wrap her arms around me. “I hope you’re ready for this. I have a feeling nothing could top the kind of dates Theo will plan.”
After we return to the brownstone, I sneak out to the backyard to call Erik while Jewels is in the bathroom. I mentally brace myself. I can do this.
He answers on the second ring. “It’s getting late. I expected you here by now.” His tone is light and playful.
“I’m only moving in with you on one condition,” I say, taking a deep breath. “We are not having sex ever again.”
There’s a delayed moment of silence. Then, “I was under the impression that you were enjoying yourself last night.”
With the deep roll of his voice, I’m reminded just how much I did enjoy myself. The memory of his probing tongue and the way he pulled on my nipples makes me throb between my legs all over again. Damn it, why did he have to be so good?
“I did. I’m not going to lie, it was incredibly hot. But I don’t need the added complication of random sex in my life. I need to focus on finding a job, and a decent place I can afford on my own or with a roommate. So the only way I’ll stay with you is if you promise there won’t be any sex involved. I mean it, Erik.”
“I promise there won’t be any sex involved unless you come crawling back to me on all fours and beg for it. Is that good enough?”
The vision of myself crawling to him makes me immensely horny all over again. I normally wouldn’t think I’m the type to enjoy guys telling me what to do, but there’s something about the way Erik likes to take charge that I’m unable to resist. I have to swallow before I can find my voice.
“You won’t have to worry about that happening.” As I say the words, I can hear the uncertainty in my voice.
In the end I agree to let Jewels take me to Erik’s, mostly because it’s the first time I’ll have seen him since we had sex and I’m nervous as hell. We order carryout with Adam before heading down to the subway. He takes the news much better than Jewels did, but he’s a little too quiet until it’s time to say goodbye.
“Be careful,” he whispers during our parting embrace. “He’s the master of manipulation.”
“Thanks for everything,” I answer, pretending his words don’t worry me. “I’ll come visit after your next procedure.”
He pulls away, his eyes downcast. I can’t tell if he’s disappointed or worried.
I don’t know how I’ll react to seeing Erik again until he opens the door to his apartment, grinning in that cocky way that’s become so familiar when he notices Jewels at my side. “I wasn’t aware you were bringing help to clean. You should know I won’t pay extra.”
My body still responds to him, though his dick-like attitude helps cool me off just fine. I brush past him with my suitcase in tow. “You’re hilarious.”
Jewels steps in beside me in the center of the living room, her eyes alight as she takes everything in. “Wow. How long have you lived here?”
“Since a month after I graduated high school,” Erik answers her cooly. He stands with his feet firmly planted in the kitchen like he’s afraid to get too close to us. “I’m so surprised to hear my brother doesn’t tell you much about me.”
Jewels doesn’t answer. She’s tight-lipped as she continues to study the place. Excitement reflects in her gaze when she turns to me. “And here I thought I had the coolest place in the city,” she whispers.
“I know, right?” I whisper back.
“I assume I’ll be seeing a lot of you,” Erik says, his steely gaze locked on Jewels. “Let Adam know he’s welcome to join you, if it doesn’t pain him too much to be around me.”
Jewels flashes him a tight smile, making me feel awkward as hell. “I’ll do that.”
Erik reaches for a duffle bag on the kitchen counter. “I’m heading to the gym.” His expression becomes authoritative when he locks eyes with me. “Your key is on the nightstand in your bedroom. I assume you’re capable of finding your way around, figuring out how things work. You’ll find the supplies you need to clean under the kitchen sink, and a few in my bedroom closet. I expect the place to shine by the time I get back.” He faces Jewels. “Don’t forget what I said.”
Then he slips out of the apartment, leaving Jewels to gape after him. “Is he for real?”
“Pretty sure.”
“At least I don’t have to worry about you falling for him.” She rolls her eyes to the ceiling. “What an asshole. I can’t believe he expects you to clean this late! Seriously, I’m staying to help. It’s ridiculous.”
“You’re not staying. You have to be up early for your first class tomorrow,” I insist, shaking my head. A part of me is extremely jealous that she’s continuing school without a break. Hopefully I can get my shit together so I’ll only miss one semester. “And I don’t want you running around in the subway by yourself in the middle of the night.”
She waves her hand through the air, scoffing. “Adam already insisted that I take a taxi back. It’s all good.”
“Still. I’ll get it done. Come check out my room before you leave.”
Chills seep up my spine when I open the door to Erik’s room to give Jewels a peek. The memory of us making out on his bed is too fresh to deal with. I’ll have to be quick about cleaning in here.
“A neat freak, I should’ve guessed,” she comments with another roll of her eyes.
We continue on to my room where I set the suitcase next to the bed. Jewels and I flop onto our backs on the mattress in unison, laughing as we stare up at the high ceiling.
Jewels clicks her tongue. “Really, I can’t understand why you wanted to stay here. This place is horrendous. You would’ve been better off with the rat-infested place in Chinatown.”
I poke her in the arm. “It’s okay to be jealous.”
“Who would’ve guessed a year ago these two Wisconsin chicks would be living in New fucking York? Doesn’t it blow your mind when you think about it?”
I turn my head to face her. “I’m sorry I dropped the news on you the way I did. I should’ve told you right away. It’s just after Adam’s surgery and everything, I didn’t want to burden you with my problems.”
“Your problems are not a burden. You know you can always tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah, and I will. Eventually.” I offer her a weak smile. “Once I’m ready to come to term with things at my own speed.”
Jewels doesn’t stay much longer. By the time we say goodnight, I’ve convinced myself everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to. She’s only gone a few minutes before Theo calls. I close my eyes, realizing I have yet to tell him I’m living with another guy.
“Hey, Cavenaugh.”
“Hey,” I answer, curling up on my bed. “How was your day?”
“Shitty. I didn’t get to see you.” His warm chuckles make my toes tingle. “You busy? Maybe I can stop over.”
“Actually, I’m just getting ready to clean my new apartment.”
“You found a place? That was fast. I thought the apartments you looked at today weren’t going to work out.”
“It’s not something we saw today.” Closing my eyes, I brace myself. “Adam’s brother offered me his spare room until I find something I can afford.”
He’s quiet for a beat, probably trying to decide how he feels about me living with another guy, especially if he’s heard Adam speak ill of his little brother. “Is it nearby?”
“It’s on the Upper West side, near Central Park.”
“Great neighborhood.” He’s quiet again. “Maybe I should’ve offered my guest room to you. I guess I figured you were trying to find a place on your own.”
“I was, but it turns out there’s nothing decent in my budget. And I probably would’ve turned you down anyway. Living together would’ve just complicated this thing between us, and I don’t want to screw it up. But I hope you’ll come hang out here soon. This place is pretty amazing.”
“So there’s no need for me to be jealous of this guy you’re living with?”
“Absolutely not,” I say too quickly. Lying to Theo feels all kinds of wrong, but I can’t have him worrying if we’re going to start dating. “The guy’s a major prick.”
“Good to know.”
We engage in small talk for a bit longer before I tell him I have to go. I don’t know how long I have before Erik returns.
“Sweet dreams, Cavenaugh,” Theo tells me, his voice soft. “I’ll see you soon.”
With my heart fluttering from our conversation, I quickly start cleaning. Up close the bathroom isn’t in the sparkling condition I first thought. The stone in the shower is cracked, and the toilet doesn’t sit squarely. At least Erik seems to hit the toilet and doesn’t leave a mess on the floor.
I finish in there before heading to his bedroom for the rest of the cleaning products. His closet is like a small room in itself, lined with multiple rows of hanging clot
hes, dozens of shoe racks, and a handful of cupboards. It’s every girl’s dream closet.
The way his clothes are arranged by season and color, Erik appears to be a total neat freak like Jewels suggested. If I weren’t so worried that he’d kick me out, I’d mess things up just to ruffle his feathers.
I start opening cupboards in search of what I’ll need. Some are filled with meticulously folded clothes, others random office supplies, picture albums, DVDs, just about everything. I didn’t see any closets in the rest of the loft, so this must be the only place for general storage. Curious to know Erik a little better, I run my finger across the DVDs and read the titles. A majority of them have the most outrageous titles. It takes me a moment to realize they’re porn.
“What a perv,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Moving on to the next cupboard, I gasp when I find furry handcuffs, whips, and an assortment of other sex toys. I take in each object with bewilderment, wondering how many times he’s used them and on how many different women. Some are still in their package, as if he’s waiting to use them on a random hook up.
Visions of Erik tying me up to his bed and doing things to me with the toys slam into me without the slightest warning. I picture his smooth, naked body perched over me, whip in hand as he—
Slamming the cupboard shut, I stumble away.
It’s going to take a tremendous amount of willpower to pretend I didn’t stumble across Erik’s fetishes.
SEVEN
I stir with the rich aroma of bacon drifting through the air. I finished cleaning the loft after midnight, but Erik still wasn’t home. Obviously he did more than go to the gym, though I had to remind myself it really isn’t any of my business what he was doing. Considering our rather unique arrangement, I get the feeling it will be a whole new experience having Erik as my roommate rather than Jewels.
Crawling from the bed, I stretch my sore muscles. I’m unusually stiff from washing the massive wooden floors on my hands and knees. I quickly throw a bra underneath my tank top and run a brush through my hair before stumbling out to the kitchen.
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