by M. J. Haag
“It's a little too early to tell.”
“If Drav and Mya don’t mind me staying, I'll ask for my own house if possible. And you're welcome to live with me if you'd like.”
“Thank you. Hopefully, after this baby is born, I'll be a little more useful.”
“You're already useful. You’re ensuring the continuation of our race.”
Even Garrett was putting me in a baby maker role.
“Yeah. Sure.”
The rest of the meal passed with little conversation. Garrett seemed to sense I wanted to be alone because, as soon as the dishes were finished, he said goodbye.
I closed the door behind him and looked at the dark, empty house. Instead of going back to the couch to read, I went upstairs, not bothering to turn on the lights.
At Whiteman, I’d been so worried about just making it through one day to the next without dying I hadn’t had time to think of anything else. Like what I wanted for a future. The problem with my future was that I had no idea what was even possible in this world anymore. Was there more than a walking womb as an option? It wasn’t like going to school would happen. What did that leave me?
I stepped into my room and paused in the doorway to turn on the light.
A scream ripped from me at the sight of Shax sitting on my bed. He had his head bowed, and his forearms rested on his thighs.
“Geez, Shax! I thought you were an infected for a second there.” He didn't look up when I stepped further into the room. “Cassie said you weren't supposed to be home tonight. Is everything okay?”
He lifted his head and looked at me. His expression was hard to read.
“I couldn't stay away. You said not to sound desperate. I haven't been. I've kept in what I'm feeling, and it's not working. What am I doing wrong?”
There was no desperation in his tone now, only extreme frustration.
“You're not doing anything wrong, Shax. You're perfect just the way you are.”
He stood with a growl.
“Just the way I am is not enough.” He stepped toward me. “I need more.”
“It would help if I knew what happened,” I said. “Did you go and see Hannah?”
“No, I came home to you, Angel. And I found you having dinner with Garrett. Eating Garrett food. And making promises to live with him. You do not belong to Garrett.”
“I don’t belong to anyone, Shax.”
“I want you to belong to me, Angel.” He reached out and placed his hands on my belly. I gently removed his hands and stepped back.
“No,” I said. “You want a baby, and you think mine is your only chance. But it’s not. Did you hear Mya’s news? She's pregnant. That’s proof you can have your own baby now. You don't need to settle for mine.”
He scowled and leaned in, a low rumble echoed from his chest. It was the first time in all of our dealings that I felt a little nervous.
I backed up a step, and he stalked closer.
“I want your baby, and I want you.”
He backed me toward the door.
“I want to touch you. I want to taste you.”
I swallowed hard.
“I want you against the wall.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said.
He reached out and wrapped his hands around my upper arms.
“Then stop thinking.”
I retreated one more step, and my back touched the wall beside the door. A slow smile curved his lips, and he leaned in. My heart started to beat rapidly, and the fire I’d been trying to ignore since he said he came home for me burned out of control.
“You’re going to hurt me,” I whispered.
He paused, his lips an inch from mine.
“Never. I will protect you from everything.”
Against all common sense, I tipped my head up to him. Another rumble vibrated through his chest, and his mouth crashed against mine in a kiss so hungry it stole my breath, my focus, and my world.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself closer, needing the contact. His hands drifted down my arms and cupped my ass. In the next moment, he got his wish as he lifted me up and pinned me against the wall. Heat flooded me. I hooked my legs around his waist, and he arched against my sweet spot. The thick press of his erection sent a shudder of pleasure through me, and I made a small sound. He growled in return and shifted his hold.
I barely registered that we’d left the wall. He was doing things with his hips, rubbing himself against me in a way that sent wave after wave of pleasure coursing through me. My hands moved from his shoulders to his head for better leverage as I deepened the kiss and ground against him.
He bent forward, arching over me. It wasn’t until my back touched the mattress that I understood. He broke the kiss and looked down at me. His pupils were dilated to the point they looked like normal circles.
He reached down and tugged the bottom of my shirt up. Taking the hint, I lifted my arms so he could remove it then reached back to ditch the bra. The sound of satisfaction he made at the sight of my bare breasts made me grin.
His hand covered one mound as he bent forward to claim the other with his mouth. The heat of his tongue and firm suction paired with the gentle kneading of the other breast pulled me under, and I floated in a haze of bliss. My hands drifted to his head, and I toyed with the tips of his pointed ears. He growled, nipped my nipple, and thrust against me.
“More,” I panted. He did it again and again, rocking against my clit and driving my need for release higher.
He switched sides, his teeth scraping against the other nipple. Between that and the grinding, I found my release and cried out.
He growled loudly and arched into me harder, the speed increasing. Waves of pleasure continued to wash over me, and I tugged his head up to kiss him hard. He came with a moan, jerking against me. I shuddered and held on for dear life as I rode out the bliss.
With a final jerk, he stilled then rolled us to our sides. I lay still, not having the energy to do more than gasp for air.
His hands trailed over my exposed torso.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked.
“No. You were amazing.”
He grunted and rolled me to my other side so he could pull me closer. Being spooned by Shax changed everything. It felt so right. Like I’d found where I was meant to be. My future.
His lips trailed gentle kisses down the back of my neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. Tiny aftershocks coursed through me.
If that was what happened with clothes on and no penetration, I couldn’t fathom what would happen when we did the real deed. Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes.
“Sleep, my Angel.”
I woke alone, the other side of the bed cold. I tried not to let it break my heart, but it did. It was barely dawn, and Shax was already gone. I’d been in this situation before and knew what it meant.
Laying there, I let clarity paint the real picture of what had happened the night before. I’d gotten carried away with my pregnant lady hormones and read more into the situation than what there was. He’d wanted to learn more. To be the kind of man Hannah would want. Last night had been about learning for him. He’d definitely discovered some new tricks. My nipples still tingled from the memory. And he’d experienced his first orgasim with a girl because of me. Trying to put emotions into what was nothing more than a fun session of casual sex to him wouldn’t do either of us any good.
Swallowing hard, I listened to the bird outside my window and tried to pull myself together. I couldn’t be mad at Shax for last night. Not when I knew darn well where his interests lie. This was on me. I needed to—
My eyes widened, and I rushed out of bed and threw back the curtains to look outside. My gaze swept over the trees, trying to spot the elusive little creature making all the noise. Instead of a bird, I saw a fey standing near a tree in our backyard. He must have been looking for the bird, too, but the movement of the curtains had drawn his attention to me.
It only took hal
f a second to figure out why he was staring.
I gave a half-hearted wave and mouthed the word “sorry” before closing the curtains and looking for a shirt.
“Well, I’m pretty sure he didn’t notice you,” I said, patting my belly. What was one more educated fey in Tolerance?
After fixing my clothes, I went downstairs to find some breakfast. Hearing the bird had changed my outlook. Yes, it sucked that I’d fallen a little further for Shax. But, birds were back. That had to mean something good.
Someone knocked on the door while I was taking a box of cereal out of the cupboard. I thought of the fey I’d flashed and wanted to groan. The fey had so little in their lives already. I hated the idea of opening the door and having to tell him what he’d seen wasn’t an invitation. Putting the box back, I squared my shoulders and went to answer the door.
“Hey, Angel,” Garrett said.
I scanned the yard behind him and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was empty.
“Expecting someone else?” he asked, amused.
“Kind of hoping I won’t be,” I said, pulling him inside and closing the door. “I accidentally flashed a fey this morning and was worried it was him knocking.”
“There’s got to be a story behind that.”
“I heard a bird.”
“I did, too. Couldn’t see it, though.”
He followed me to the kitchen.
“Me neither. That’s how I got spotted. Looking out the window for it. There was a fey in my backyard. I think he was looking for it, too. What do you think it means?”
“Well, it probably means you shouldn’t open the curtains when you’re naked.”
I leaned against the counter and rolled my eyes at him.
“Ha-ha. You’re a comedian this morning. The bird. The animals left just before the quakes, right? What do you think it means that they’re back?”
“We heard one. It doesn’t mean animals are back.”
“But, it does seem like a good sign, right?”
“Perhaps. Animals can sense things we can’t. I think, before the quakes, they knew some kind of natural disaster was coming and fled to areas they felt were safer.”
“So if a bird is here, it feels this is a safe place now?”
He shrugged. “Or that there’s no impending disaster here. Or, maybe, the bird just got lost and happened to land here and took off already. It’s impossible to know unless they start talking.”
“Don’t even say that. The infected and hellhounds are enough to deal with.”
He grinned.
“Did you just come here to creep me out?” I asked.
“No. With so many of the fey helping with Tenacity or grabbing some Z’s, I decided not to go out and came to see if you wanted to hang out with me today.”
As I looked at Garrett’s hopeful face, I thought of Shax and what we’d shared the night before. The best way to not think about things I couldn’t have was to focus on the things I could.
“What did you have in mind?”
Chapter Fifteen
Garrett tucked his hands in his coat pockets and continued to smile at me.
“To start, I’d like to feed you breakfast. I feel like I need to make up for last night. I was tired and not participating in the dinner conversation like I should have been.”
Garrett was obviously a great guy. Why couldn’t I feel any attraction to him?
“I’m not letting you apologize for being tired when it’s because of freeloaders like me. But, yes. I’d love to have breakfast with someone instead of alone. I have some stuff here.”
“Nope. I have everything we’ll need at my house.”
I grabbed my jacket and followed him out the door.
“Do you know what I miss?” I said, looking up at the sky. “The weather report. I hate not knowing if it's going to snow or rain or what the temperature will even be the next day.”
He chuckled.
“I don't think that even ranks in the top ten things of what I miss most.”
“Oh? What do you miss?”
“The idea of a vacation. Public transportation. Hell, any transportation that wouldn't end with me swamped with infected. Pizza. Man, I miss Pizza. Entertainment. Any form. Movies. Bowling. Skiing. Baseball games. All of it.” He paused for a moment, growing serious, and looked toward the wall. “Most of all, I miss my family.”
“I'm sorry, Garrett.”
“No, it's okay. It's just part of life now. I know everyone is missing someone.”
“That doesn't stop the pain, though. Where did you live?”
“New York. I was here on business, staying at a hotel in Kansas City when everything went down. The Evac was crazy.”
“New York is pretty far from here,” I said. “You never know. You might still have family out there.”
“That's what I tell myself. But I'll never know because that's a distance I'll never be able to cross.”
“Never say never,” I said. “We heard a bird today, and I never thought we would hear one of those again, either. I think that means change is coming.”
“I just hope it's good change.”
As we neared the house, I looked at the wall. There wasn’t a single fey standing on top of it again today.
“I felt safer when I saw fey walking around. I know it’s not very fair that they had to do it all the time, but it sure did give me peace of mind.”
Movement at the base of the wall caught my eye. One of the fey was talking to the girl with the bow and arrow. He stood a respectful distance from Brenna, but I could tell Brenna was uncomfortable.
As we drew closer, I realized it was Thallirin, and my heart went out to him. He was so scarred. More so than any other fey. I couldn’t imagine that those scars would make winning over any girl easy.
“Budding romance?” Garrett asked, noting the direction of my gaze.
“Based on the body language, I doubt it. At least, not from her point of view.”
“Would it sound weird if I said I sometimes wished I was a girl?”
“Yep.”
He grinned.
“It’d be nice to have one of the fey looking out for me like they do for you girls.”
“Given their general fascination with seeing female genitalia, I think they’re all heterosexual. But, you can try hitting on one if you want. Warn me first, though, so I can make some popcorn and enjoy the show.”
“The apocalypse made you bloodthirsty.”
“Nah,” I said. “Raging hormones do that.”
He chuckled and shook his head. I liked bantering with Garrett. He was fun, good-looking, and smart. I set my mind to trying to like him more than a friend.
When we reached the house, he opened the door to a quiet kitchen with a table set for two. The smell of something delicious drifted in the air.
“Where is everyone?”
“I asked for some alone time after all the supply runs.”
“And they agreed?”
“They like the supplies, so yeah.”
He helped me out of my jacket and pulled out the chair for me. Before I could ask what he’d made, he lifted the lid on the covered plate set in the center of the table, and I saw a stack of homemade waffles.
“No way.” I inhaled deeply.
“I found a waffle maker while I was out there, and a surprisingly plentiful quantity of pancake and waffle mix. Dig in.”
I did just that. Breakfast was enjoyable and smothered in syrup. After I’d packed in as much as I could, we moved to the living room and watched two movies. It wasn't the usual PG stuff that most houses had. It was a good old-fashioned action adventure with a bit of blood.
“Is it just me or does this seem less intense now?” I asked after the credits rolled.
“I wasn't going to mention it, but yes. What's really happening out there is far more intense than any movie.”
I stood and stretched.
“Are you hungry for lunch?” he asked. “I found some hamburger b
uns in someone's freezer and the ground beef to go with it.”
“We better not,” I said. “I don't want to push your roommates too far. And, honestly, I think Junior wants me to take a nap.”
“I'll agree to a nap break if you agree to having dinner with me later.”
“Deal.”
After putting on our jackets and boots, he walked me back to my house. The air felt a little cooler than several hours ago, and I wondered if we were in for a storm. Everything around us felt so hushed, like Tolerance was waiting for one. Which was ridiculous because there weren’t any animals around to hush. Then I realized what was missing. No one else was out walking.
“Is it just me or does it seem uncommonly quiet today?”
He looked around.
“I think a lot of the fey went to the new place to try to finish things up today.”
“Yeah that explains why they're missing, but where are all the people? They're always walking around in little groups, complaining about shit.”
He frowned slightly and scanned the area again.
“Maybe a bigger group went out for supplies today,” he said. But I could hear the doubt in his voice. Likely because he was thinking the same thing as me. The survivors were up to no good.
My pace increased as we drew closer to Shax’s house. No matter how I tried to distract myself, I hadn't stopped thinking of Shax in some way, and I couldn't help wondering if he was maybe home. I really wanted him to be. I was pathetic.
When we reached the front step, I turned to Garrett.
“Thank you for walking me home and for breakfast and the movies. It was nice just hanging out with someone.”
“Anytime. And I was serious about dinner. I'll be back at five, okay?”
“It's a date,” I said playfully as I opened the door.
His gaze went from my face to the entry behind me, and the humor vanished from his expression. I followed his gaze, and my mouth dropped open.
The inside of Shax’s house was trashed. The entry table was knocked to its side, the contents of its little drawer strewn about. Beyond that, I could see bits of fluff on the floor.
“What the hell?” I said softly.