by M. J. Haag
“On a scale of one to ten, how mad are you?” I asked when he didn’t move any further into the room.
“That you left the house? That my brothers know about the baby? Or that you let Thallirin and Merdon touch you?”
“That I didn’t help you get the girl. But I think your other concerns should probably be addressed first.”
He set me down and unzipped my jacket. His expression was angry. His movements were stiff. But every touch was gentle.
I reached up and cupped his face.
“Why didn’t you go for Hannah?” I asked, unable to help myself.
“I do not love Hannah. I love you, Angel.”
My insides did all sorts of happy flips. I wanted to believe him so badly.
“For how long?” I asked.
He blinked at me.
“How long will you love me, Shax?”
“Forever.”
“That’s probably how long you thought you’d love Hannah, and look at how long that lasted.”
“You don’t believe I love you?”
“I’m saying I’m afraid to trust it will last. You were so desperate for Hannah. You didn’t notice any other females. She was it.”
“I noticed you.”
“When?”
He tilted his head and studied me.
“When you kissed me. It felt nothing like Hannah’s kiss.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip. “Your mouth touched mine and changed my heart. I tried to do what you said. I tried to talk to Hannah, but I didn’t want to be the man she wanted me to be. I wanted to be the man you wanted. I didn’t tell you how much I wanted to see your breasts or taste your pussy. I kept my desperation in.”
“Until the night I had dinner here with Garrett,” I said in sudden understanding. “What you said, it was all about me.”
“Yes.”
“And it was because of our kiss? It has nothing to do with you wanting my baby?”
“I want your baby because it’s part of you.”
Rising up on my toes, I pressed my lips to his. He held still for only a second before growling and backing me into a wall. My heart thumped hard at the feel of his hands gripping my butt as his tongue thrust against mine. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Even with jeans and several shirts between us, the feel of his erection as he pressed into me sent a jolt of pleasure all the way to my toes. Groaning, I slipped my hands into his hair and gave myself over to him.
Distracted by the kiss, I wasn’t aware that he’d walked up the stairs until he laid me on his bed.
He broke our kiss to look down at me.
“Forever, Angel. What I feel for you, I’ve never felt before, and it won’t fade or go away.” His hand slipped under my shirts and settled on my stomach. “It’s not because of the baby, but it does include the baby. You are family.” His hand stroked my belly, and I believed him. The look in his eyes conveyed both lust and devotion. It wasn’t just the baby he wanted. He wanted me, too.
I reached down and pulled my shirts off in one sweep. When my head cleared the material, he leaned back and studied me.
He set his dark hand against my skin and smoothed his hand upward.
“Wrong direction,” I said. “I think you want my pants off.”
He grunted and helped me wiggle out of my jeans. In my bra and underwear, I got to my knees and reached for his shirt. He let me tug it off and held still as I looked my fill, marveling at every chiseled ridge and indent.
I ran my hands over his rock-hard abs.
“Not going to lie. This is better than Christmas presents. I’ve been dying to see you without clothes.”
He stood and had his pants around his ankles in a heartbeat. My gaze locked on his hard length jutting from his body. Thick and long, his erection was awe inspiring. The stuff dildo companies tried to create but couldn’t perfect. Shax was the real deal, and the idea of him inside of me made me clench in anticipation.
I reached out and wrapped my hand around his length.
He hissed out a breath, and I looked at him…at the tenseness in his jaw and the wide depth of his pupils.
“Are you okay with me just exploring for a bit?” I asked.
He grunted.
Leaning forward, I kissed his flat stomach. He twitched under my lips. I trailed little kisses down further.
His skin jumped and quivered, and his hands settled on my head just as I reached the base of his cock.
“Can I taste you?” I asked.
He made a sound like he couldn’t breathe. Smiling, I took that as a yes and dragged my tongue along the length of him. He started to shake. I cupped his balls and closed my mouth around his swollen dark head, humming as I savored the experience.
The sounds coming from him were almost as good as his taste. Just as I was getting into it, I found myself on my back. He bit my bra, tearing through the fabric at the same time as he ripped my underwear from me. His mouth closed over my breast, and his fingers delved into my folds. He circled my clit once, eliciting a groan from me. Then, he was on top of me, spreading my legs.
At the last second, he froze and looked down at me. His pupils were so large I could barely see the color in his eyes. Sweat beaded his forehead.
I reached between us and closed my hand around the hot length of him.
“Stop,” he rasped. “We cannot hurt the baby.”
“We won’t,” I said.
I guided him to my entrance, lifting my hips to press against him. His head glided an inch into me before he jerked back.
“Are you sure?”
“Very. Sex is completely safe while pregnant.”
I could see the doubt in his eyes.
“Don’t leave me hanging now. Soft or hard. Fast or slow. I don’t care how you do it, but I want to feel every inch of this amazing thing sliding into me, Shax.”
He growled and pressed forward. I got my hand out of the way and wrapped my legs around his waist. He took his time, inching in a bit at a time. I murmured words of encouragement and struggled to take all of him. He was huge.
Once he was fully seated, I wiggled a little, trying to get used to it.
“Don’t move,” he said, his voice rough.
“I’m just trying to find the right…” I shifted my hips again and felt the magic moment when he was hitting all the right spots. I arched my butt into the mattress, forcing him to withdraw a bit before bucking upward to fully seat him again.
“That,” I panted. “Right there.”
He lost it when I moved again. He withdrew and slammed into me, taking me hard and fast. I hit a wall of pleasure, and my orgasm demolished everything.
Shax held me and continued to move relentlessly.
I’d barely recovered when I felt another orgasm gathering.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for the ride of my life.
Even in my sleep, I knew life was good, and I smiled myself awake.
Warm and nestled in Shax’s arms, I took stock of how I felt. Languid and relaxed. Not sore, thankfully. Definitely educated. Oh, the things the fey enjoyed. I smiled wider and opened my eyes to look at the ceiling. Shax was amazing in and out of bed. Completely perfect.
I thought of what lay ahead of us. The hardship of surviving in a world with faltering electricity, dwindling food sources, and increasing infected. None of it scared me. Learning to hunt and grow things sounded great. Life was uniquely different. More dangerous in some ways but simpler in so many more.
My stomach let out a little gurgle, and I slipped from Shax’s arms before my hunger woke him.
Determined to shower first, I tiptoed to his bathroom and grinned at the large soaker tub. That thing was going to see some use in the upcoming weeks. Knowing I needed to wash my hair, though, I opted for the shower and started unwinding the braid. When I finished, the strands hung below my butt.
While I washed, I remembered the night before. No prior lover compared to Shax in bed. He was all man. Every delicious inch of
him. I smiled to myself. Hannah was an idiot, and I was so grateful for it.
The door opened, and I looked over my shoulder at Shax. He paused, spotting me through the glass. As he stared, he grew hard.
“Ready for another round?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ll make you a deal. You find me something to eat and have it waiting for me in the bedroom, and I’ll skip getting dressed and going downstairs to find something for myself.”
He walked toward the shower and opened the door.
“I have a better idea.” He lifted me up and leaned me against the shower wall, which was thankfully already warmed.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and felt the press of his head against my entrance. I gave a small wiggle and partially seated myself.
“I like your idea better,” I said.
His gaze roamed my features, and he reached up, tenderly running his fingers over my wet hair.
“Forever,” he said before his gaze met mine.
With infinite slowness, he entered me. My channel stretched to accommodate him, and I felt every delicious bump and ridge. When he filled me completely, he stopped and kissed me hard. I tingled with anticipation, already knowing what would happen.
I ground myself against him.
He growled and pulled his mouth from mine to nibble his way down my throat. One hand cupped my breast and toyed with the nipple.
I rotated my hips again, lifting myself ever so slightly before sliding back home.
He growled and nipped my collarbone. Grinning, I threaded my fingers in his hair.
“You feel so good,” I said. “Hot. Hard. Delicious.” I gave my hips another wiggle.
A tremor ran through him, and I knew his control was close to breaking.
“You’re not an angel,” he rasped, lifting his head to look me in the eye.
“Nope. Never have been. That makes me the perfect woman for you, you sexy grey devil. Now, are you going to give me what I want?”
He growled and slowly withdrew. I moaned, waiting for it. Instead of driving into me like I wanted, he eased back in.
I grinned, enjoying his resistance.
“You have amazing eyes. Have I told you that? I love when you watch me. Especially when I was licking your cock last night.”
He jerked inside of me, a small hard thrust.
“The way your balls tightened when I did that thing with my tongue...it drove me crazy.”
“Me too. Now stop talking.”
My grin widened.
“Do you know what I want to lick now?”
“Quiet, Angel. I don't want to hurt you.”
I leaned in, my mouth right next to his ear.
“You didn't hurt me last night.” I flicked out my tongue and ran it along the tip of his ear.
His control snapped. With a low growl, he withdrew and thrust into me again and again. Even in his frenzy, he was aware. He held me carefully, ended each thrust just before it became too much. I rode the pleasure, tension coiling inside of me.
Clinging to Shax, I let the sensations claim me. My channel clenched, close to release. He growled and thrust a little harder. I felt his shaft swell and jerk. It sent me over the edge, and I came with a loud cry. He jerked within me, his thrust slowing as he found his release a moment later.
His hand stroked over my hair as his hold changed from aggressive to tender.
“You own me,” he said, panting in my ear. “Name anything you want, and I will make it yours.”
“Your heart. Forever.”
“You already have it.”
I kissed him softly then wrapped my arms around his neck. He turned us and warmed my back in the water.
Hunger forgotten, I basked in his touch as he washed my hair and soaped my body. His gaze still held wonder at the sight of my breasts. When his hand continued to slide from mound to mound well after I'd said I was clean, I knew we'd be in the shower until the water ran cold.
I didn’t get my breakfast for another hour. But I forgave Shax after the third orgasm.
Sitting at the table, I ate the cereal with relish and watched Shax tug on his jacket. It was a new one, the old one having been blood covered and torn from all the infected he’d killed to get us new supplies the night before.
He paused to look at me, his eyes sweeping over my hair, which I’d yet to braid.
“Not even Molev’s hair is so long,” Shax said.
“Then I’d better put it up again. I don’t want Molev thinking I’m more badass than he is.”
“No. You are sweet, and your ass is very good.”
I snorted.
“I’m going to miss you. Don’t take too long.”
He grunted and gave me a stern look.
“You will stay in the house, Angel.”
“Yeah, probably not. I want to track down Brenna for Thallirin.”
He made a sound of frustration.
“But I will promise not to climb the wall to talk to her. I’ll keep my feet firmly on the ground.”
His expression shifted from “she’s not serious” to “she wouldn’t, would she?”
He moved toward me and set his forehead against mine, running his fingers through my hair. Even such a simple touch made my breath catch, and my body ache for him.
“Stay safe, my Angel. You are my world.”
He kissed me softly then left the house.
I hurried and finished my breakfast so I was only a few minutes behind him. This time, I locked the house despite Shax also having hidden the supplies.
Pausing on the porch, I breathed in the fresh, cold winter air and looked around at the overcast sky. Despite the slightly gloomy weather, the world felt like a brighter, better place this morning. Because of Shax. He loved me. And what I felt for him…I shook my head. I shouldn’t feel so deeply already, yet how could I not? That man was incredible. He’d found me marshmallow cereal.
As I walked, I noted there weren't any fey around. When I finally saw one, he nodded to me and glanced at my belly. Word had obviously spread. And not just to the fey. The survivors from Whiteman who were up and moving around weren’t as pleasant with their hostile glares and hushed conversation. Their attitudes didn’t surprise me. These people had seen my face for weeks. Had heard Matt talk about low blood sugar and had witnessed the extra consideration I'd received. Now they knew the real reason why and were pissed. But, I wasn’t worried. No human would lift a finger against me. Not while I was living with the fey who were so enamored with the idea of babies.
I was almost to the wall when someone called my name. I turned and watched Hannah jog toward me. She looked like hell with dark circles under her eyes.
“Morning, Hannah,” I said as she approached.
“Morning. Did Shax go out for supplies again?”
A few people slowed on the other side of the street.
“Yep. Did you hear the penalty for stealing supplies?” I asked. I shifted my gaze to the group. “People get banished outside the wall.”
“Whore!” one of them called.
“Are we seriously reverting to high school name calling?” I asked. “Use your time more wisely and find supplies, so you don’t starve.”
I pointed to the ladder.
“Right there’s your chance.”
“Where do you think we’re going? We’re not spreading our legs for our supplies.”
“Well, there’s always the hope you’ll come to your senses soon.”
Hannah snorted a laugh as the group moved on. Surprisingly, they really did go toward the ladder.
“Do you always take morning walks to taunt the pissed and downtrodden?” Hannah asked.
“It makes my mornings brighter.”
She smiled, but the humor didn’t last.
“I wanted to apologize for last night,” she said.
“Apologize? For what?”
“I knew that Shax had a thing for you and still tried to hit on him, anyway. And right in front of you. It was a
shitty thing to do.”
“I thought I was doing that to you,” I said. “That first day I traded him food for some advice. I was trying to help him win you over, and instead, he won me over.”
“He never looked at me the way he looks at you,” Hannah said. “It would have never worked between us. I think he knew that but was just being stubborn because I was the first girl who talked to him. Well, excluding Mya.”
She looked away for a moment, and I followed her gaze. Merdon stood between two houses. Partially hidden by a tree, he watched us.
“What’s it like?” she asked. “Being with a fey?”
“Amazing. Shax is sweet and devoted and so tender.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said softly, tearing her gaze from Merdon. “I better get back before Emily eats the last pop tart. Have fun heckling people.”
She hurried off, and when I looked back between the houses, Merdon was gone, too.
Hopefully, Hannah wouldn’t screw up a second chance. Shaking my head, I started walking along the wall to find Brenna.
Chapter Nineteen
I found Brenna on the opposite side of Tolerance where infected groaned from the other side of the wall. She stood on top of the barrier with her legs braced apart, firing arrow after arrow.
“What do you do when you run out of arrows?” I asked.
She looked down at me for a moment before resuming her aim.
“Usually, yell for more. If my mom or brother aren’t around, one of the fey will get me some.”
“Do your arms get tired?”
“Sometimes.”
She stopped shooting and turned to look at me.
“Did you need something?”
“Not really. I saw you shooting the other day and wanted to come say hi and thank you. You look pretty amazing up there, and I appreciate what you’re doing to keep those of us without skills safe.”
“You’re welcome. I’m Brenna.”
“I’m Angel.”
“The pregnant one.”
“Yep,” I said patting my belly. “I’d say the one and only, but Mya saw what kind of a trendsetter I am and jumped on my wagon, too.”
Brenna gave a weak smile. The topic didn’t seem to sit well with her.