by Amit Khan
“Thank you,” Tilak’s voice once again echoed in the hall. “Thanks for the applause all of you. I have one more request for you.”
“Tussee bolo Tilak ji,” a Sardar standing close to the stage said. “Just say what your request is.”
“I want you all to pray…when you go back home, I want you to pray for Brinda’s well-being. Her medicines are not enough to save her life but maybe your prayers will pull her out of this dangerous ill health.”
“Oye…Tussee just great ho Shah Ji,” Sardar reacted emotionally. “You don’t worry, Baadshah ho. I will pray in Gurudwara. We all will pray. We will ask for help from the Almighty.”
“Thank you.”
Tilak Rajkotia walked down from the stage with me after that.
I was scanning faces around me. I guessed that no one had recognized me. It was relieving that my true identity was still a secret. The time I spent on that stage had been a mix of nervousness and pride.
I cannot deny that I had felt special in the company of a rich and famous man like Tilak. It was a new experience for me.
I looked at Tilak Rajkotia.
He was looking back at me lovingly.
I knew men very well. I knew that look on his face. I recognized that twinkle in his eyes. Tilak Rajkotia was ready to fall in my arms. His eyes were shining with feelings for me. There was hope in his eyes- a hope to have that special time in my company. If I wanted, I could have taken control of him. I could have made him dance to my tunes.
I could have taken charge of his body and mind. I could have owned him.
I decided to wait. Patience was a virtue.
My decision to marry Tilak received a big boost and there was no turning back now.
●
It was morning time and I was with Brinda.
I had spread a napkin across Brinda’s chest and I was serving her soup.
Brinda was looking paler today.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I offered her a spoonful of soup.
“Not well,” she answered softly. “Not at all feel like doing anything.”
“If there is too much pain then I will call the doctor.”
“No…nothing that serious.”
I offered her more soup.
She did not have any appetite for soup.
That’s when Tilak Rajkotia arrived there.
He was wearing a blue suit. A bluish floral design on the tie was accentuating his attire. The golden pin was glittering and making its presence felt.
He was looking handsome.
“Good morning everybody,” he said as he entered.
I felt that the greeting was mainly for me.
“Good morning!” I replied. I really felt that it was a good morning. His presence cheered me up.
My magic was working. Slowly but surely.
“You were up very early today, it seems?”
“Yeah. I just happened to wake up early,” I said.
Tilak walked around me and went to his wife. He sat down beside her.
“Darling,” he caressed her hair adoringly and said, “You know what I think sometimes? We are being unfair to your friend.
“What do you mean?”
“Just think about it dear,” Tilak explained. “She is forced to spend all her time in this penthouse taking care of you. It’s like a prison for her.”
“Don’t worry about that Mr. Tilak,” I immediately said. “I came here on my own. It was my decision.”
“Still…you should go out once in a while. It’s good for mind and body.”
I did not reply.
I continued to feed Brinda more soup.
“Let us do one thing,” Tilak Rajkotia said again.
“What?”
“Tonight there is a charity event at Concert Arena. A film stars’ night for the aid of differently abled. I have got passes for the gala.”
“So?”
“Well I am not really in the mood to attend that event,” Tilak said. “But if you wish to go then I will accompany you. You will feel better.”
I hesitated and did not say anything.
I had not imagined even in dreams that Tilak would make me an offer like that, right in front of Brinda.
“What are you thinking?”
“Who will take care of Brinda if both of us leave?” I said in an indecisive manner.
“Guard will stay here. Before you took this job, he used to take care of Brinda whenever I was not around.”
“I don’t know…”
“Don’t mind! Brinda, you tell her. She won’t leave without your permission.”
“Of course she can go. I am not stopping her,” Brinda said.
“See? Even your best friend has given permission.”
“But Brinda is not feeling well today, Mr. Tilak.”
“Really? What happened Brinda?” Tilak looked at Brinda and asked.
Brinda had just finished her soup. She took off the napkin and dabbed her lips.
“Nothing serious. I am just tired,” Brinda said. “It happens so often. Please go on. And you will be back in a couple of hours, right?’
“Yeah.”
“Then go on… have a good time.”
I could not believe my ears.
Another opportunity had shown up so easily. An opportunity to be close to Tilak Rajkotia.
●
We were at Concert Arena by nine o’ clock at night.
I was feeling so light headed that I thought I could fly.
We sat together in the VIP section. I was feeling like a Princess. In fact last few days I had experienced that royal feeling. It was unforgettable.
I was introduced to a whole new world of wealthy people.
I hardly knew that this world existed. A wonderful colourful world where luxury made life easy and enjoyable at every step. Where there were no worries about the coming day or putting bread and butter on the table. Where there was only pleasure unlimited and the pursuit of pleasure alone was the raison d'être of existence.
That night I saw movie stars from close quarters. I could have touched them if I wanted.
It was well past midnight when the programme concluded. By the time we reached home, it was close to one o’ clock.
“Has madam gone to sleep?” I asked watchman as soon as I stepped inside.
“No…she is awake.”
I was shocked.
Absolutely surprised.
That answer fell on me like a brickload from the top.
“She should have been asleep long back. Didn’t you ask her to sleep?”
“I did madam,” Watchman said. “But she said she was not feeling sleepy.”
I quickened my steps and reached Brinda’s bedroom.
Lights were on.
Brinda was still awake.
She looked restless. I saw her eyes. There was a strange anxiety in them. It was the same look of restlessness that I used to notice when customers used to choose me instead of her in Nightclub.
“The show ran till late?” Brinda looked at the wall clock and asked.
“Yeah. We were late.” I was not able to look directly at her. “But why are you still awake? You should have been asleep by now.”
“I just could not sleep.”
“Had your medicine?”
“No.”
“My God, Brinda?” I said. “What is wrong with you? So the doctor was right. You are careless about medicines. You are just not bothered about your health.”
Brinda did not reply.
“Come on…I will get your tablets.”
I supported her back and helped her sit very cautiously…as if she was a delicate doll.
Brinda rested against a pillow. I gave her pills.
“How was the show?” Brinda asked softly.
“It was good,” I said after she had her medicine. “But we were constantly worried about you. Mr. Tilak just could not focus on the show. All he was doing was talking and worrying about you.”
“Really?�
�
“Yes,” I spoke in a voice that was still trembling. “He really loves you a lot.”
Brinda remained silent.
I could sense that her suspicious eyes were searching for truth on my face.
“Now enough talking. Time to sleep. It’s too late.”
I helped her lie back on the bed and pulled up the blanket up to her shoulders.
“Now sleep,” I said. “Not good for your health to stay up till so late.”
Brinda was still quiet.
Her silence was hurting me.
I switched off lights and came out of her bedroom. I could still feel her prying eyes piercing me with suspicion and hostility. Maybe it was just my guilt-consciousness playing tricks on me.
I was not able to decide…whether I was right or wrong in doing what I was doing?
●
That night Brinda felt severe pain in her kidneys.
The pain was so intense that Brinda looked in a terrible state. It seemed as if we were losing her. Her body was twitching with pain.
She was bathing in sweat. The pain was getting unbearable with every passing minute.
I had never seen anybody in so much pain.
“I will call the doctor,” Tilak was in a panic and he ran towards the phone.
He called Dr. Maalpani.
Within few minutes Dr. Maalpani was there. He arrived with his kit bag. Brinda was struggling with pain that was only increasing with every passing minute.
“Oh God!’ Dr. Maalpani exclaimed with shock. He reacted like that after seeing Brinda in that condition. “Her pain was never so bad before.”
“No,” Tilak answered. “This kind of severe pain is a first.”
Dr. Maalpani kept his bag aside and approached Brinda.
“Brinda!’ Dr. Maalpani grabbed both her shoulders and shook her. She was almost drowsy with pain. “Brinda!” he shouted again.
“Hmm…Hmm” Brinda struggled to open her eyes. “Yes…yes, doctor.”
She was still sweating profusely.
It was obvious that she was in bad condition.
“Where exactly are you feeling pain?”
“K…” Brinda was breathless even in saying a word. “kidney.”
Doctor palpated the region of kidney and pressed it softly.
Brinda screamed out hideously.
She wiggled in pain.
“What happened?”
“Right there,” she said. Pain could be seen on her face and heard in her words. “That’s where I am feeling the pain.”
“And here?”
Dr. Maalpani placed his hand on another part of her belly to check. Brinda screamed again.
“There too, doctor. I can feel burning pain rising continuously.”
“Oh, looks serious.”
Dr. Maalpani looked worried.
I was standing close to Brinda’s bed observing all this.
Brinda’s condition and her unbearable pain had got me nervous.
“What are we going to do, doc?” Tilak asked.
“I will give her an injection. Let us see if it relieves her.”
Dr. Maalpani opened his bag and took out a vial of medicine along with an injection.
He prepared the injection very swiftly.
“Pull up her sleeve,” he said to me.
I obeyed.
Dr. Maalpani gave her the injection.
“You will feel sleepy soon. I think you should feel better after this injection,” Dr. Maalpani said as he massaged injection site on Brinda’s arm.
●
It was 2:35 at night.
I was sitting in a room in penthouse along with Dr. Maalpani and Tilak Rajkotia.
Injection showed its effect and within five minutes Brinda was asleep.
After Brinda slept Dr. Maalpani collected some blood from Brinda’s arm.
“Why did you take this blood sample?” I asked.
“I will send this for a repeat test,” Dr. Maalpani said. “I want to know the results of that test. It is important that we keep a close eye on Brinda’s condition. A blood test will help us.”
“But why did she suffer such a severe pain today?” Tilak asked.
“That’s what I don’t understand. I am worried about her pain,” Dr. Maalpani replied. “Maybe the pain was an unexpected event that will not happen again but if it does that means there must be some underlying cause.”
“What if something serious shows up in results? What do we do then?”
“We will deal with that…let the reports come. Everything depends on that.”
Dr. Maalpani took out some capsules from his bag and handed them over to me.
“Keep these with you, Shinaya.”
“What do I do with them?”
“This is a painkiller. If Brinda complains of pain in kidneys again then give her one capsule immediately.”
“All right.”
I nodded.
Dr. Maalpani left after that.
●
Rest of the night was sleepless for me.
I went to my bedroom and tried to relax.
I could see that the illness was pushing Brinda towards her end. Every event was a sign. This latest crisis confirmed that Brinda would not survive for long.
Her time was almost up.
This development was good for me.
That night something happened.
At around 3:30 door of my room creaked open. A shadow crept inside.
I was lying motionless.
As if I was in deep sleep!
Even in pitch dark, I recognized that shadow. Tilak Rajkotia had entered my room.
He walked towards my bed and stood there for a while. He was watching me.
Then he bent forward…closer to me.
I could feel his warm breath on my face.
He wanted me. Surely…he was excited.
I could feel the hunger of many days in his heaving breaths. He was like an animal unable to control his urge.
Even I was thirsty. It had been so many days. But I decided to be patient.
I knew my art very well.
“Shinaya!’
He whispered.
I did not react.
I Just continued to pretend that I was in deep sleep. To be honest, that was not easy. Only I knew how tough it was to control my feelings!
“Shinaya!” he whispered again, this time louder.
I ignored all his appeals and did not move at all.
Tilak came even more close to me. I could feel his warm body now. The heat was seeping into my body.
I prayed that he would move away because if he continued to stay like that I didn’t think that I would be able to control myself.
My heart was pounding.
A surge of excitement was rushing through my body.
I thought…now…now Tilak will place his lips on mine. He will wrap his body around mine. The storm of passion that was bursting in us will rustle through our bodies on this bed.
It didn’t happen.
Tilak Rajkotia continued to stay that way for some time.
Then he was convinced that I was really in a deep sleep. He backed off. He left the room.
He closed the door of my room when he left.
●
‘6
Relation with Tilak
Next day there was a new excuse from Tilak to take me out.
We went out in his white BMW.
In the front seat of his car, right beside him, I was enjoying every moment.
“So, where are you taking me today?”
“I am taking you to a special place. You are going to love it,” he answered.
“Which special place?”
“Be patient. We are almost there.”
I was wondering but I was already glad and excited about it.
Every new moment I was spending with Tilak Rajkotia was feeling like the most beautiful moment of my life.
I clearly knew now that there was love in Tilak Rajkotia’s hea
rt for me. But I was not expressing my emotions.
Tilak stopped the car in front of a discotheque. I jumped with surprise.
“Where have you brought me?’
“Why? You don’t like happening places like these?” Tilak asked.
“Well, nothing like that,” I somehow answered.
But I was beginning to sweat with nervousness.
I entered the disco with Tilak Rajkotia.
The world inside those doors was fascinating. It was a spacious discotheque with a really spectacular dance floor. It was like being in a hall with dazzling light arrangements. There was a DJ in full effect. The deafening western music seemed to be very popular. The crowd was going ballistic. Mirrors were arranged on revolving pillars. The effect they created was magical. Whenever the glittering lights reflected off the revolving mirrors, it led to a mystical feel inside the discotheque. It was a world of colourful lights and vibrant nightlife.
The dance floor was packed with guys and gals. They were ecstatic with the effect of music and dance.
I started feeling nervous.
“I can’t dance,” I whispered in Tilak’s ears.
“Why?’
“I have never been to a place like this. It’s my first time.”
Tilak Rajkotia was amused.
“There is always a first time,” he said.
“But…”
“Come on!”
Tilak grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the dance floor.
“No.”
“Come on Shinaya…come on. Don’t feel nervous!”
I looked around me. The boys and girls seemed to belong to a different world. Most of them were drunk. Some of them were indulging in vulgar acts.
A couple attracted my attention. The intimacy they were showing in presence of so many was terrific. They clung to each other. Tightly! When they started kissing it seemed to last forever. The girl held the guy firmly as if she will never let him go. It appeared a tasty affair and they were enjoying the lip lock as if was the best thing in the world.
The guy had given his hand a little too much freedom and the girl did not seem to mind it. In fact, she seemed to want more from him.
They were burning with lust & desire.
Tilak Rajkotia’s urging distracted me. He was asking me for a dance again. This time when he invited me towards the dance floor, I did not resist.
A popular track was on and all the youngsters enjoyed and started grooving afresh on that film music.