by Andrea Rose
A murmur of sound rocked through the men, and Acre was the first to speak up again. “We never should have let him walk the fuck out.”
“We live and die by our honor,” Break said, cutting Acre off. “You fucking know that.”
Acre nodded, looking down at his hands. He was one of the few people I ever saw stand up to Break, but he also seemed to know when he was wrong. I respected him, maybe more than I should have.
“And that means we finish this. I’m not going to live scared and tuck my tail between my fucking legs. I want out of the shit. This club is going legit, Jude is going into the ground, I don’t care if we have to kill every goddamned last King in California to do it.”
“Just how exactly are we going to find him?” Acre asked.
“That’s easy,” Break said, tossing a cellphone down on the raised dance platform. “Jude left us a map.”
“Are you serious?” Acre asked, staring at Break’s hands as if he expected Break to pull a piece of parchment from his pocket.
“If Jude was talking to Carcetti, there’s a reason. He gave us to the Italians on a silver platter while the Kings swept down and pushed us off the dock. You damn well know they’re looking to catch the next inbound ship.”
“Mother fucker… There wasn’t supposed to be another ship.”
“We’ve been running product for twenty years now Acre. You think the wheel stops turning if we’re out of the game? That’s how Jude got his cut with the Kings. He sold them my head and the coke trade. He knew enough about club business to make the connections. I want to know what’s hitting those docks over the next few weeks. You know what to look for Acre, we’ve still got friends down on pier seventeen and I want them paid off no matter what it costs. Find me that boat, and we find Jude.”
I had to get out of here. I couldn’t hear this. Death, war, Jude, the Kings… My heart raced as I backed away from the group, fists pounding on the raised dance platform. All those dreams of a happier future were fucked. Break wasn’t going to save me. I wasn’t going to save him. Nobody stopped me. Nobody even noticed. I slipped round what would probably become a DJ booth, making my way to a curtained VIP room. My feet carried me faster and faster as I reached the back of the club, and with a quiet push, I burst out a side door.
Light crashed down on my eyes like I’d never seen the sun. The dark club was starkly contrasted by the noon high, and I raised an arm up over my forehead before setting out across the parking lot. There wasn’t really a plan, no direction. I’d just run. Not to my family, not to my friends, I’d just run and keep running until I couldn’t go any further. The sidewalk beckoned, the streets called my name. Terror and adrenaline and some mix of insanity coursed through my veins. The world was so bright. I was alive, I was free.
But I didn’t want to be.
I stopped on the sidewalk, just breathing. There was nowhere I could run where Jude wouldn’t find me. He would scour the whole goddamned Earth if that’s what it took.
And what about Break… I though to myself, a deep crushing feeling coming over me. I needed him… He needed me… All I had to do was get some air, turn around, and stand by him. I breathed deeply, blind to the world, hidden away in the safe little place I always went to when bad things were happening.
Then everything went black.
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When you’re thrown into pitch darkness, there’s a moment when you might wonder if you’re alive at all. I woke shivering, blinking my eyes without sight returning to them. My hands patted uselessly at my body, feeling around and trying to make sense of the inky black. I was naked, laid out on some kind of bed. I could feel the seam of the mattress, but no sheets or blankets lay atop it. To my side, a cool block wall rose upward. Crushing pain filled my head, and my hand instinctively swept through my hair, rolling across a large and scabbed knot. My breath came in gasps as I touched around the wound, wet warmth rubbing between my fingertips.
Someone hit me…
Panic came from the most visceral part of my being. I had to get out of here. My legs tried to move, aching as I lifted myself from the bed, but without anything to orient myself I found it hard to move quickly. My bare feet shuffled slow across the cold floor, coming to a stop as I hit another wall. Soon, a third wall slid beneath my hand, and as I moved across it, my fingers bumped against a seam.
A door…
I swept my arms over the door, trying to size up it’s orientation. One edge, the other, the door handle had to be there… My hand slid down along the side, coming to rest on a small square plate of metal. Four large screws bolted the panel over what must have been a hole left behind by the handle’s removal.
“HELP!” I screamed, pounding on the door. “HELP ME!”
I screamed until the breath refused to vibrate my vocal chords, my throat raspy. That’s when I noticed the weight round my neck. A hand snaked up, grasping the heavy leather band wrapped round me, sliding across it’s surface until I met with a metal ring that held it in place.
Collared, like a dog…
My voice found itself again, a sobbing cry coming from my lips as I fell to my knees in the darkness. Hands grasped at the collar, trying to pull it free. There was no use, no hope. I forced myself to crawl round the room until I found the bed, lifting myself into it and curling up, springs squeaking beneath my weight.
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Light…
My eyes blinked wildly as a small bulb flashed on above me. With no way to gauge the passage of time, I only knew I was thirsty. The light was blinding despite it’s dim wattage, and as I adjusted my eyes gazed around the small space. It was something like a closet, the metal cot with a mattress pad beneath me, and a bucket in the center of the room. A small piece of metal slid open at the base of the door, followed by a metal pan being pushed under along with several bottles of water.
“HELP!” I screamed, but the little opening crashed shut, the light blinking about above me. Once again I found myself crawling toward the door, sweeping my hands around for the delivery. I found the pan first. A quick touch found bread and some kind of sliced meat. After a few minutes, I’d gathered everything and returned to the bed.
I didn’t know where I was, couldn’t guess why they were keeping me, but the meal did tell me one thing. Jude was on the other side of that door. My teeth sank into another bite. Ham and pastrami, just how I always ate it. A glimmer of hope rose up. I didn’t belong to Jude anymore, didn’t belong in his world, but if Jude was here that meant Break would be here soon… Swallowing hard, I pushed my tears back and took a good long drink.
Break will save me…
The thought left me hollow. I couldn’t just sit here waiting forever. My voice welled up again, but this time, I had to know.
“JUDE! PLEASE! HELP ME!”
I could hear the boots. I’d heard them before. There was a time when I feared them because I knew the pain they would bring. Now, all I wanted was to see his face, to see…
Murder eyes.
Jude stood in the doorway grinning like a madman.
“About fucking time you call for me sweetheart. Starting to feel nostalgic?”
I sized him up. He looked even more fearsome than ever, his chest flexing beneath a Kings cut. The door closed behind him.
“Jude… Let me out of here, please.”
“Let you out? What? So you can run back to your cripple?”
Jude’s eyes were predatory, tracing across my body as he approached. I looked down at his hand, a long leather strip dangling to the floor. His hand reached out, my body wincing away from him as he touched my cheek more delicately than I ever expected from him. Then came the slap I knew all too well.
“Please…” I gasped, looking up for forgiveness.
The sound of metal clicking into place snapped near my ear.
“On your knees.”
“Please!” I whimpered.
“I said GET ON YOUR KNEES!” Jude shouted, pulling at the leath
er strap and sending me crashing off the bed to the floor. He’d put a leash on me. I shivered from head to toe.
Why did you run? Why the fuck did you run?
“Crawl.”
I didn’t move. I curled into a ball on the floor. Jude’s boot crashed into my ribs painfully.
“CRAWL.”
My body found itself moving without any assistance from my mind. It was easier this way. I always pulled inward, just let my body do the work… I crawled.
“Now that’s not so hard is it?”
“No, Jude.”
“I’m not Jude to you. You don’t fucking deserve that. I’m your master. Now CRAWL!” he shouted again, his boot lifting from the floor and dropping back down as I moved toward the door. The humiliation filled me, but deep down, I felt the anger. I kept it, nurtured it, shielded myself in it. Maybe today wasn’t my day, but there would be tomorrow, or the next. Sooner or later, I would find my way out of this as long as I held onto that little fire inside…
“Up. Get up there.”
I stared up the darkened stairwell from my little cell. Trying to lift myself up to my feet, Jude kicked me back down.
“I said crawl.”
I turned my head, pleading, my mouth opening to speak.
“You say one word up there. Even one. I’ll cut your fucking tongue out. Do you understand?”
I went dead inside as Jude walked me up the stairs like an animal, and soon I saw the main floor. It looked familiar, a warehouse turned MC not unlike the Broken’s home. This one was different in one key way…
The women.
The Broken enjoyed their pussy, and I’d met a few of the girls that made their way through the MC life, but they were there by choice. Whether it was for money or a good time away from some aloof husband, drugs or a one night fling, they were free to come and free to go…
A metal o-ring came up from the floor with leather leashes tied onto it, a circle of chairs surrounding the little concrete pleasure pit. Three naked women were on their knees tied to that post, servicing Kings. They looked dirty, used, abused…
They looked vacant.
I caught the eyes of a thin blonde as she worked, but she made no flash of recognition. Soon, I found myself strapped to the same post.
“Fresh blood huh Jude. Where’d you find this beauty?”
“Just some bitch off the street.” Jude said, smiling. “Thought I’d do my part for club business.”
“She’ll fetch some dead sexy money with a pair of tits like those… You break her in yet?”
“Maybe I’ll let you guys help me with that,” Jude said, grinning viciously.
I looked around, all eyes on me as even the other girls pulled away from the bikers seated around the circle.
“Maybe in a few days, once she gets used to her new lot in life,” Jude said, grinning viciously.
I shivered in place, and by the time Jude walked me to the edge of the room and hosed me off with cold water, giving me a makeshift shower, I wasn’t in my head anymore… Was he really going to give me to these men?
Days and nights blended together in my little room. It felt like I’d been here forever. Laying in the bed with nothing else to do, I found myself checking over the squeaking cot. Thick metal springs ran under the mattress, stretching as I moved. I felt for the edge, prying one loose and unhooking it from the edge. It came free, and I lay there quietly feeling the rough metal. As food arrived, I scratched a line in the concrete wall, feeling for it with my fingertips. Three days? Four? I notched a few more lines. If I kept track of meals, maybe I could keep track of time…
Interrupted from my task by the light flashing on, I settled into another quiet dinner. The days stretched on forever, and I didn’t want to think about what would happen next. I knew sooner or later, Jude was going to tie me to that ring. I was still strong. I knew my body could take the abuse. Deep down, I wanted nothing more than to live.
Jude never brought me to the circle. I saw him a few more times, but it was only brief visits when he’d drop off food and glare at me.
Murder eyes.
Some part of him was angry. Some part of him was jealous. He knew he didn’t own me anymore, and I could use that. I held his gaze whenever I could. I turned my own spite and hate into weapons, like daggers to pierce his heart.
Jude hadn’t brought me out of the room since that first time. Too much time had passed... Maybe he couldn’t stand to look at me.
I lay the spring down next to the mattress against the wall, moving across the floor and grabbing hold of the food. I’d need my energy to survive, to wait, to live…
Break will come…
I fell asleep, the cold air wrapping around me and making it a restless night.
Jude made it a little more restless.
“Wake up you fucking whore.”
His fist hit my body as my consciousness tried to rouse me, the pain excruciating as it pulsated from my side. More bruises to add to the collection. More pain. My eyes snapped open, the dim light from the hall illuminating the space. Jude stood silently above me.
“Why do you do this to me baby? Why do you make me hurt you like this? Why can’t you just be a good fucking girl?”
I stayed silent, curling up and trying to protect myself, but Jude was forceful.
“I’m sorry Jude…” I whispered, desperate to stop the attack as he pressed me down against the mattress. His eyes burned in the dark, flaring with rage.
“I… I love you Jude… Please!”
The lie felt dirty to my tongue, but I could see his eyes changing, shifting. Murder was still in them, but maybe for someone else.
“Everything that has happened… I’m sorry Callie…”
He was drunk! I could smell the alcohol on him. It made me angry, but it gave me hope. If I could just get him to let me out of this room, maybe I could run.
“You did this to me Jude. You don’t have to do this… I’ll be good, I promise.”
“No. Don’t you fucking lie to me bitch.”
“I love you Jude… Please…”
My body coursed with anger, pain, and frustration. Jude pressed down, his lips crashing into mine. I let go of myself. I let the kiss happen. There can be pleasure found in pain, the darkness was always inside me. I couldn’t get free in this room, but if I could convince Jude to let me out…
I thought maybe he was going to take me again, to force himself on me, but as he curled up next to me on the cot, he simply fell asleep… Somehow, having him next to me was immeasurably worse.
In a life of bad days and terrible nights, this was the one I would always remember…
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Jude started taking me out of the room again the next morning. I scratched another line as breakfast came, hiding my little makeshift pencil away as the door opened. Once again, the leather strap locked into my collar, and he made me crawl. No women walked in the Kings clubhouse and Jude made no exception for me. Still, I found myself relieved when he didn’t take me to the circle, or tie me into the ring.
“You thirsty?” Jude said, looking down at me. I just nodded as he pulled two beers down from a shelf and cracked them open, handing one down. I drank greedily, desperate for any release from this hell.
Jude pulled his cellphone out, checking a message before looking back down and letting out a little laugh.
“Baby doll, we’re not in any hurry and you don’t need to be chugging that.”
His eyes weren’t as harsh, not nearly as evil. Maybe some part of him believed me. I’d planted doubt.
“You know, I like you just like this. Quiet. You know your place.”
I nodded up at him, nuzzling with his leg. Any time I spent here was time not spent in the hole. There was a chance here. There was freedom here…
It was short lived.
“Put your fucking pet away Jude. Los Locos have a drop coming tomorrow and I need your ass out with Hernandez getting us a truck.”
Jude nodded,
and I looked up, noting the President patch on the large man’s cut. He was older than Break, maybe even old enough to be his father. I cast my eyes downward as he met my gaze.
“And tell your bitch to keep her eyes to herself before I teach her some proper fucking respect.”
Jude nodded again but I could see the ferocity behind his movements. He was a monster, but with effort, he could be my monster…
“You heard him, crawl.”
I didn’t want to go back into the hole. Jude reached up, grabbing another bottle from the shelf.
“Here, take it. Now crawl.”
I made my way across the floor, feeling the eyes of the club on me as I moved. I’d made ‘friends’ here in some sick and twisted ways. Maybe they would let me out while Jude was gone… Some part of me almost wished they would.
Down the stairs we went and I looked to the door, seeing the long iron bar that slipped into a bracket and held the door shut. It was impossible, there was no escape. The door closed and I did the only thing I could, slamming the beer back and lying in bed, letting the faint buzz relax my nerves. Hours passed, day undoubtedly turning to night somewhere above me, but I couldn’t sleep. Up there, it didn’t matter if it was broad daylight or three in the morning, from where I was, it was the darkest night…
I let out a little scream, throwing the bottle at the far wall and listening to it crash in the darkness. Eventually, sleep found me.
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Another meal slid under the door, another scratch went into the wall. I waited for the light to flash on and moved from the bed carefully. The small space was littered with glass, remnants of my little outburst. Almost instinctively, I found myself crawling. My hands carefully swept the shards toward the corner, moving them away as I approached the food. Reaching out, I ate greedily. Today it was some kind of fast food burger, but I didn’t really care. I needed it.
Like some kind of animal I tore through the burger, staring around my space. I’d brushed away most of the glass, but the bigger pieces still lay in the corner.