Temperance sat up on her elbows and glared at her friend. “Hugh is suitable.”
Green eyes widening at the vehemence in her tone, Annabel quickly said, “Of course he is. Of course. It’s just that…well, if he is so suitable then why are you still sneaking around?”
It was an excellent question. One Temperance had finally gotten the courage to ask Hugh the last time they’d been together. It was as though someone had snuffed out a candle inside of him. One moment he had been relaxed and tender, the next he’d been as cold and hard as a frozen pond in the middle of winter.
No one can know we are together, he had growled. Not yet. Not until I have dealt with the demons in my past.
When she had pressed him for answers he had closed himself off even further.
It’s for your own safety, Temperance. You wouldn’t understand.
Then why don’t you tell me, she’d cried.
To which he had responded, I think you had better leave.
It was the first time he had ever ordered her out of his bedroom and they had not exchanged a single word since. Temperance hated the idea of leaving him in the midst of such a petty argument, but what else could she do? She couldn’t risk meeting him tonight. Not when she was leaving for London bright and early in the morning. If something happened and she was late getting home…it did not bear thinking about.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said softly. “What we had is over.”
“Look on the bright side,” Annabel urged. “Whatever you said to my mother during your last conversation troubled her so much she’s skipped right over being a matchmaker for you and has set her sights right on me. So at least you will not have to entertain any male suitors. I, on the other hand, am going to be positively swarmed by them the second we step foot in the city. She has already sent out letters, you know. Actual letters to all of her friends with eligible sons letting them know we will be arriving early. Can you believe it?”
“Yes,” Temperance said with the tiniest flicker of a smile. “Knowing your mother, I certainly can.”
“Well, as I said, at least she has forgotten about the recital. By the by, I wanted to ask you. What do you think about caroling?”
“Caroling?” Temperance said blankly.
“Yes. You know, going door to door and singing Christmas songs.”
“What about it?”
“Well, I have been thinking…”
Later that night, when all was still except for the faint thump thump of Temperance’s heartbeat as she slept, she was suddenly startled awake by an unknown sound. Sitting up in bed, she pulled the covers to her chin as her eyes darted around the dark room. A scrape of a branch against the window, she assured herself as her racing pulse slowly subsided. Nothing more. But just as she’d closed her eyes, she heard it again. This time louder.
“What the devil…” she breathed as she threw aside the covers. Hissing when her bare feet met the cold wooden floorboards she hurried across the room and, after a few fumbling attempts, managed to light a candle. Carrying it with her she went to the window from where she thought she’d heard the sound…and nearly screamed like a banshee when she saw the face peering back at her on the other side of the glass.
“Do you think you could let me in?” Looking irritated – as though it were somehow her fault he was balancing on a tree branch outside her window in the middle of the night – Hugh tapped two fingers against the glass. “It’s damn well freezing out here.”
Setting the candle down on the nearest flat surface, Temperance hastened to do as he’d requested and no sooner had she unlatched the window and shoved it open than Hugh stumbled inside. For a moment she simply gaped, so shocked to see him standing in her bedroom some part of her wondered if she was still dreaming. “What – what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you before you left.” His gaze devoured her in one hungry sweep before he drew her into his arms and greeted her with a kiss. His lips were cold, but the arousal she saw swirling the depths of his eyes when he released her was anything but frigid. “I did not want things to end the way they did.”
“Neither did I,” she blurted. “I should not have suggested bringing our relationship into the open. I am sorry for pressing you.”
“No,” he said, brushing off her apology with a wave of his arm. “You had the right of it.” Closing the distance between them once again, he looped his arms around her waist and drew her tight against his chest. With a contended sigh Temperance rested her cheek on the scratchy fabric of his jacket.
“Well I am glad you are here now,” she murmured. “I have been thinking about you all day.”
“As I’ve been thinking about you.” He began to stroke her back in long, sinuous sweeps of his hand. He had been touching her more lately. It had started in little ways: a brush of her hair behind her ear, a gentle kiss on her shoulder. Temperance relished every touch, for whether he realized it or not it showed how much he had come to care for her. “You deserve more than sneaking out under the cover of darkness and it has been selfish of me to keep you to myself to so long.”
“It has only been two weeks,” Temperance protested.
“Two week of lying to your family,” he reminded her. “Two weeks of risking your reputation and your damn neck every time you climb out this window.” He lifted her chin and gazed down at her sternly. “Do you realize what would happen if you slipped and fell? You’d break your foolish neck. I will not have you doing it again, do you hear me?”
“You cannot tell me what to do,” Temperance scoffed even as a part of her was warmed by his concern. “It is my reputation as well as my neck, and I shall do with them what I please.”
“Stubborn witch,” he muttered under his breath.
She grinned unapologetically. “Yes I am, and don’t you forget it.”
“What I am trying to say,” he said through gritted teeth, “is that I have been wrong to keep my past hidden from you. And when I woke up this morning I realized I could not let you go without telling you the truth.”
Temperance held her breath. This was what she’d been waiting for…but suddenly, as she watched a myriad of emotions flicker across Hugh’s countenance ranging from anger to sorrow, she wasn’t certain she wanted to know the truth. They were so happy in their little bubble. Did she truly want to risk bursting it just to learn about a past that had nothing to do with her?
“Hugh, maybe–”
“I was married before,” he began.
Yes, she answered silently. I absolutely need to know everything.
“We were both too young and naïve. We thought we were in love, and maybe we were, but looking back I think we were in love with the idea of being in love. Her family was far wealthier than mine. They came from old Boston money, and the only reason they allowed me to marry their daughter was because I made her happy.” A dark shadow crossed his face. “At least for a time.”
Sensing she was not going to like what she was about to hear, Temperance took Hugh’s hand and guided him to her bed. “Sit,” she instructed. When he did, she curled up beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. “All right,” she said quietly. “I’m listening.”
“I bought her everything she desired, thinking it would keep her happy, but it never did. We slowly but surely drifted apart and she began to take other lovers.”
Temperance’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ of surprise.
“I did not know at first. Or maybe I did not care to know. Either way, it eventually led to a confrontation between us. I told her to get out and never return. Maybe it was a cruel thing to do, but I knew her family would welcome her back with open arms and give her everything I couldn’t.”
Heartless bitch, Temperance thought silently. Couldn’t this nameless woman see how much she’d been hurting her husband? The anguish of it all was still written over every inch of his face.
“I went out drinking that night. I drank myself into a stupor and feel asleep at the bar. When I woke up the
next morning I felt…regret. I returned to the house to apologize. To see if we could possibly make another go of it. But it was too late.”
“Because she had already left?” Temperance ventured.
“Because she was dead,” he said flatly.
She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. Of all the ways she had been expecting Hugh’s story to end, it was not like this.
His eyes took on a peculiar light, and even though he was staring down at their hands clenched tightly together in his lap she knew he was seeing something else entirely. “There was so much blood. I knew the moment I saw her she had been murdered. Just as I knew that I would be the obvious suspect. But I didn’t do it,” he said with so much fierceness she felt a resounding ache deep inside of her heart. “I didn’t kill her. I may not have loved her, but I never wanted her dead.”
“Of course you didn’t,” she whispered soothingly. “Of course. Anyone with any sense in their head would know that.” Because he looked like he needed it, and because she couldn’t help herself, she kissed his cheek. “Is that why you came to England? To avoid prosecution?”
“That was part of it.” His jaw clenched. “I would have willingly stayed to face trial, if not for the power Aileen’s family wielded. They wanted to see me hang whether I was guilty or not. Her brother especially. He came to my house one night with a group of thugs and threatened me. I set sail the next morning.” Hugh’s shoulders slumped, as though he had been carrying the weight of the world for far too long and it was finally a burden he could no longer bear. “I know it makes me a coward. I should have stayed and looked for her true killer. I should have defended myself. I should have–”
“Shhh.” Temperance pressed a finger to his lips, effectively silencing him. “You said yourself her family was powerful. If they were so blinded by vengeance they could not see your innocence for what it was, then you did the only thing you could do. I do not fault you for it, and you should not fault yourself. It wasn’t your fault Hugh,” she said firmly. “None of it was.”
He was quiet for a long, somber moment. When he finally turned his head to look at her, Temperance was stunned to see tears glistening in his eyes.
“Thank you,” he said hoarsely as he gathered her close, dragging her onto his thighs and cradling her against his chest as though he could not stand to let her go. “I don’t think I realized how much I needed someone to believe me. How much I needed someone to believe in me.”
“You are many things, Hugh Jacobson, but you’re not a cold-blooded murderer.”
His mouth creased in a bitter smile. “If only Frederick saw it that way. Aileen’s brother,” he explained when she looked at him questioningly. “I know he’s been hunting me since the day I left Boston and he won’t stop until his brand of justice has been met.”
As understanding slowly dawned, Temperance felt a new wave of tenderness for the man she had fallen in love with. All of this time she had thought Hugh was guarded because he had been trying to protect himself when in reality he had been trying to protect her. It explained so much. His gruff behavior. His unwillingness to commit. His secrecy. “That is why you have kept yourself distance from everything and everyone. Because you are afraid of what will happen to the people you love if he manages to track you down.”
“Not people,” he said gruffly as he rested his chin on top of her head. “Just you. It was always meant to be you, Temperance. I see that now.”
“Then let it be me.” Ducking out from beneath his chin, she met his tortured gaze without blinking. “Let it be me, Hugh.”
“If Frederick were to ever come here–”
“Let him,” she said forcefully. “Let the bastard try to hurt you. I’ll claw his bloody eyes out.”
A reluctant grin lifted one side of his mouth. “You would, wouldn’t you? My little hellcat,” he murmured affectionately as he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Having felt your claws myself, I know the damage they can do. Frederick Brownstone would not stand a chance.”
“Just promise me one thing.”
“Anything,” he said without hesitation, only to quickly backpedal when he saw the sudden gleam in her eyes. “Anything within reason, that is.”
“Marry me.” When she saw his resulting expression of horror intermingled with intrigue, she bit back a laugh. “Not this instant. Not even this year. But sometime in the near future I want to be your wife, Hugh Jacobson.”
He lifted a brow. “I believe I am the one who is supposed to ask you.”
“Says who? We haven’t listened to the rules before and I see no reason to listen to them now.” She grinned cheekily. “If you want to tell everyone that you asked me for my hand in marriage then I will not say a word, but we will both know the truth.”
“I have no money,” he was quick to point out. “No prospects. No house–”
“But you’ll have me,” she interrupted. “And I’ll have you. Everything else we will figure out in time. And if and when Frederick appears, we will figure that out as well. Your name will be cleared, Hugh. One way or another.”
“I suppose I shall have to court you properly.”
“I suppose you shall,” she said with a regal nod of her head.
“And meet your family.” He looked as though he would rather cut off his own foot.
“They are going to love you.”
“They are going to hate me.”
“Maybe for a little bit,” she admitted. “But eventually they will come to see you as I do.”
“Which is?” he asked.
Cupping his cheeks, she kissed the middle of his forehead, the tip of his nose, and the center of his mouth before she opened her eyes and met his gaze. “A man with a gruff exterior and a true heart. A man who still believes in love even after everything he has been through. A man who stole my breath away from the first moment I saw him.”
“Only because you fell into a mud puddle,” he pointed out.
Her fist bounced off his chest. “Only because you tried to run me over!”
“For the last time, you were the one who jumped in front of my carriage.”
“I suppose it is open to some debate,” she muttered under her breath.
Hugh’s incredulous chuckle vibrated against her skin. “Open for debate? No. You’re just too stubborn to admit when you’re wrong.”
“Either way it led me to you, and even though you tried to squish me I suppose you did so with the best of intentions.” Wiggling out of his lap, she dove beneath the covers and patted the empty mattress beside her. “Will you lay beside me until I fall asleep?”
She half expected him to decline, but to her pleased surprise he nodded. “Gladly.”
Tucked against Hugh’s side with her head resting on his arm, Temperance sighed in contentment, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
Hugh watched the even rise and fall of Temperance’s chest for nearly two hours before he slowly disentangled himself and rolled silently off the bed. Were he able, he would have stayed the night and woke beside her in the morning. He wanted to see what her eyes looked like when they were touched by the sunlight. For too long he’d kept her in the darkness, and the guilt of it was like a lead weight on his chest.
At least he had finally told her the truth. She had taken it remarkably well, but had he really expected anything less? If there was anything he had learned about Temperance it was that she was a remarkable woman.
And he did not deserve her.
Aside from her whimsical marriage proposal, they had not discussed their future. The only thing he knew for certain was that tomorrow she would leave for London…and he would remain here. For how long, he did not know. He may have found Temperance, but he’d yet to find himself. Not completely.
Love had healed his heart, but it had done little to fill his pockets. Before he could ever hope to ask for Temperance’s hand, he needed something to offer her in return. Something more than a dingy inn and just enough money to get by week to week.
He refused to repeat the mistakes of his past. Temperance may not have minded his living arrangements now. No doubt she even found them a dash romantic. But she would eventually come to yearn for what she’d once had: a beautiful manor and a household full of servants waiting to fill her every need. She wouldn’t be able to help herself, and he wouldn’t be able to blame her.
Standing in the darkness, staring down at the woman he loved, Hugh made both of them a solemn vow.
I will come back for you. When I can provide for you, when I can give you the life you deserve, I will come back. I swear it.
She stirred when he pressed his mouth to her temple and whispered goodbye, but she did not wake. Refusing to give himself the luxury of looking back at her one last time, he opened the window and slipped through like a shadow into the night.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The manor that Nathaniel had purchased was everything Lynette had promised it would be and more. Impossibly large with arched ceilings, gleaming hardwood floors, and too many rooms to count, it was set back off a quiet tree-lined street in the middle of Grosvenor Square. Temperance was given her own bedroom just like at Dunhill, but unlike at Dunhill there was no climbing tree outside her window which was the first thing she checked for when she entered the sun washed room.
“Drats,” she muttered as she untied her cloak and draped it over the back of a chair. Her bedroom – along with the rest of the house – was already completely furnished. Some of the draperies were outdated and much of the furniture would have benefited from a good polish, but she knew Lynette and Lady Townsend would have the entire place ship shape in no time. Some women may have felt challenged by the presence of their mother-in-law, but Lynette was not one of them. She openly welcomed every single one of Lady Townsend’s opinions and though they may have disagreed once in a while, Lynette was just charming enough to nearly always get her way.
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