“It was a mistake.” Nick had to keep saying that so he wouldn’t forget it either, it was a mistake he couldn’t make again, no matter how much Shane liked him. But deep down he was jumping for joy to know someone as amazing like Shane would be interested in him.
Shane groaned and rested his hands on Nick’s hips. “No it wasn’t, would it be that bad to admit it?”
Nick felt his eyes growing hot with tears. “Yes.”
Shane stepped back, his eyes laced with sorrow. “How long do you plan on running from who you are?”
Free from his towering body, Nick turned around and walked out of the bathroom. He kept walking until he was out of the school and inside his car. He wanted to turn back a few times to see if Shane followed him but he refused the urge. One way or another, he had to stop giving into Shane and into his own selfish desires.
Shane would’ve laughed at this strange turn of events if he was in any laughing mood. He walked through the family house, said a quick hello to his mother and continued upstairs where he knew Michael was.
“What brings you to my kingdom?” Michael asked.
“I need some advice.”
This gained Michael’s full attention, he sat up in bed where he had been reading for school and tossed the book aside. “Talk about role reversal. What would you need help with?” normally he was the one tracking Shane done in need of advice, never had he come to him before.
“So there’s this guy.” Shane couldn’t say it was Nick and violate his trust that way, when Nick was ready to come out he had to do it for himself and Shane hoped that time was soon. “He knows I like him and I know he likes me but he isn’t welling to give us a try. I’m thinking a healthy dose of jealously might wake him up.”
“And since I’m a master conniver you come to me? I think I might cry.” He sniffed and threw his arms around his brother. “You like me you really like me!”
Shane sighed and knew better than anyone else it was a rare day in hell when Michael could be serious. “I love you. Now get off of me.”
Michael sat back in his bed with a huge smile. “My boy’s all grown up and finally deciding to play dirty. To make someone jealous you have to have someone else willing to play along or be willing to break that other person’s heart when they find out you really don’t want them. Do you have a guy in mind to play the role?”
“You know Brent right?”
“The guy who works with dad and when he comes over he drools over you?” Michael made an ugly face. “You don’t want to give your stalker too much hope.”
“He’s not a stalker; he’s just bad at hiding his crush.”
“Dude, you don’t want a Fatal Attraction thing.”
“What is with you and that movie? Forget it. The only other guy showing me attention is Scott.” Shane pointed out bitterly.
Michael’s eyes darkened. “What do you mean?” he was the only one besides their mother who knew how bad his relationship with Scott was.
“His sister told me he wanted to speak and then he came up to me at the grille but I was with Nick and he pretended we were involved to get Scott to go.”
“Nick is a good friend to everyone.” Michael said distantly as his anger continued to soar. “If that fucker touches you again I’m going to kill him.” there was no hiding this hate for Scott.
“Michael—”
“Nope, you’re not talking me out of this time, I’m not in high school anymore and I’m not a kid anymore. If he lays a hand on you I will fucking kill him.” with his eyes continuing to darken and the tension around his shoulders, there was no denying he was dead serious.
Shane’s shoulders fell as his mood went from bad to worse. “He was my mistake and I can handle it.”
“Nope.” Michael kept shaking his head. “Once you lied to me about what was happening and I had to overhear it from mom, you lost the right to tell me to sit back.” Acting as stubborn as only he knew how, he crossed his arms and set his jaw. “We’re not talking about it anymore but if he hurts you again and you lie abut it, I might have to kill you too. Now back to this new guy you like, is he worth it?”
“Yeah.” Shane whispered. “He would never hurt a fly. He’s sweet and too caring at times,” he thought of the reasons Nick should be mad at the world and how instead he smiled though it and tried to make everyone else happy. “he’s scared to admit the truth even though it’s, I’m, staring him in the face.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about someone like this, are you sure it’s not more than that?”
“You mean am I in love with him?” Shane didn’t have to search internally to figure out the answer. It’s been staring him in the face for a few days now. “I probably am or really close to it.”
Chapter 14
That Tuesday as Shane sat with his brother in his room, their mother announced she was in the mood to cook and was inviting some people over. Shane and Michael looked at each other and both had the same thought; has she gone nuts? Sure she hosted many dinners in the past but she never, ever, willingly cooked.
“Oh and Shane?” his mother turned around and peeked back in the room. “Your father is bringing Brent along.” She left.
Michael started laughing. “Mom is trying to set you up, no wonder she’s trying to be chipper.” He kept laughing and fell back on his side.
“If that isn’t a sign I don’t know what is. You know she’s going to invite Julienne and her mom too.” The wheels in his head started to spin again.
“Yeah, so she’ll have someone to complain to.”
Shane needed Julienne to invite Nick along so this plan could get started. “Is she coming over before that?”
Michael’s eyebrows rose. “Why the sudden need to see my girlfriend?” he asked innocently, he knew even if Shane was straight he’d never go after his own brother’s girl.
“She’s been helping me with my problem too.” That was the truth.
“You told her about your crush before me? And here I thought we were bonding.”
“I came to you for advice first, relax and call her, make something up about how you need to see her.”
Michael smirked and Shane knew that smirk meant something very dirty. “I always need to see her.”
“Spare my sanity and call her but don’t tell her it’s about me.”
“Watch the master work.” He grabbed his phone and pressed speed dial. “Can you come over? No, I’m not trying to get in your pants…yet. It’s important; yes I find things besides sex important. I need to see you now, I have this big project my mom gave me and I’m clueless. She’s having one of those dinners and since Shane isn’t around, she’s making me her new gay son.”
Shane put his hand over his mouth and tried not to laugh, with every word his brother said he looked so dead serious and heartbroken. He should get into acting.
“Julienne, please don’t make me dress the table alone and please don’t subject me into helping her pick out an outfit tonight.” A few seconds later he shut the phone and smiled. “She’s on her way.”
“That was some impressive lying.”
“I have a degree in bullshit.”
“And when she finds out it’s all a lie?”
“No, no, no. The first rule of any lie is you never admit the truth, that lie becomes your truth and you believe it with everything you have.”
Shane suddenly thought back to Nick, he had been living a lie so long and forced to believe his feelings were wrong and let that lie becomes his truth.
Michael continued. “When she gets here, you’ll happen to be here too and ask her whatever the hell you want. When that’s going on, I’ll offer to help mom and bam Julienne and me are doing girly crap.”
Shane shook his head. “It’d be really messed up if it wasn’t so perfect.” He never agreed with his brother’s lies and manipulation but today it was coming in handy, he had to shut up about the wrongs of it.
Julienne arrived, joining them in the bedroom,
Michael kissed her hello and quickly made some excuse about having to use the bathroom.
Shane didn’t waste time. “My mom is doing one of her dinners, I need you to invite Nick and make sure he comes.”
“Why?”
He didn’t have a degree in bullshit and decided if he needed her help, again, he had to be honest. “I want to make him jealous. I tried seducing him and it didn’t pan out too well.” he admitted, his shoulders shrugging awkwardly from embarrassment.
Her grey eyes opened wide with shock. “You seduced him?”
“Not as well as I could’ve, it was in the school bathroom.” Shane knew if he had cornered Nick at home where there was no running, he would’ve went a lot farther to push Nick’s buttons. “I think Nick and I could be really good together.”
“Me too.” She agreed weakly, not fully ok going behind her friends back.
“Then help me make him realize he’s screwing this up because he’s too scared to admit the truth. I’m not asking him to come out to the whole world, I just want him to be honest with me.” Shane explained, putting his heart on the line for a plan he knew was stupid. He was at the end of his rope and didn’t know what else to try.
“Ok, I’ll call him but I don’t know if this will work.”
“Me either but I’m out of ideas short of locking him in my room and doing dirty things to him.” he said honestly, it had been a serious contender until he thought of jealously.
She laughed. “You sound like Michael, let’s hold off on that for now.”
Nick didn’t know how exactly Julienne roped him into going to the Gregorys. One minute they were talking at the park, next she asked him for a ride, and now he was inside their house. Shit, he mentally cursed, there was nowhere for him to turn and runaway to.
He hoped maybe Shane was at the apartment but that hope was quickly put out when he saw him and Michael coming downstairs.
Mr. Gregory came out of the kitchen with a young man who looked around his late twenties with shaggy brown hair and deep brown eyes. He was nice looking but something was missing. There was no wow. When Shane walked into the room there was lots of wow and that wasn’t lost on this stranger. He smiled brightly and nearly goofy.
Mr. Gregory introduced the man as Brent Collins who apparently worked for him as his personal assistant. “Michael and Shane, you remember Brent.”
Brent jumped at the chance to shake their hands, he held on longer to Shane’s and it was obvious to everyone he liked him. Nick noticed Mrs. Gregory smiling and felt his stomach drop, she was trying to set Brent and Shane up and worst of all; Shane didn’t seem to mind.
Nick quietly laughed as he stood off to the sides, this was going to be an interesting night.
“Are you upset?” Julienne whispered at his side.
“No, was that the point? He can like whomever he wants to like.” He said, realizing the edge to his voice that came along with the lie. Was he jealous of Shane showing someone attention, yes of course, but was he furious and betrayed? No, Shane had his rights and if he wanted Brent then he could have him.
Chapter 15
Nick wasn’t dense, he knew what Shane was trying to do and that made it funny because Shane was the one uncomfortable with Brent hanging onto his every move. Nick hung in the background highly amused watching Shane and Brent.
“Your mom is a fantastic cook.” Brent complimented as dinner wrapped up, the parents stayed in the kitchen gossiping and cleaning up while everyone under thirty was banished to the living room.
“Yeah.” Shane said with a forced smile trying to be polite.
“So your dad told me you moved out and got your own place, that must be exciting.” Brent kept talking.
Shane glanced around the room and let his eyes stay on Nick. “Sometimes but my roommate can be a pain in the ass.”
Nick wasn’t hiding his amusement; he waved and mocked Shane before grabbing his can of soda and heading outside. The fun was nice while it lasted but he needed some fresh air. He wanted to go home and curl up in bed and he would’ve if Julienne was keeping him here hostage until she was ready to go, seeing as he was her ride back home to her mom’s place.
He walked down the porch and around the side of the house to lean and gaze up at the stars. It was a nice night out, he wished desperately his mood could match it. The night was going fairly good and that didn’t matter, there was always this ball of fear in the pit of his gut he couldn’t get rid of.
“Way to be a friend; leaving me in there with motor mouth.” Shane stepped outside and found him around the side of the porch.
“And I thought I talked a lot.”
“When you do it there is actually a point and it’s kind of cute. Brent’s pushing my buttons and it’s like this every time he’s over.” Shane ran his left hand back and forth over his short dark hair.
“So you thought, he already worships you it wouldn’t hurt to use him to make me jealous? The plan didn’t work.”
“Why would you think it was a plan?”
“Every time you talked to him or touched him you made sure I was looking. You can like and date whoever you want.” Nick said with all honestly, he knew even if it bothered him he couldn’t tell Shane how to live his life.
“Really? So if I left here and took Brent home, you’d be fine with that?” They stared at each other, green on blue, neither saying a word until Shane spoke first. “Fine then, I might try that.”
“You’d really sleep with this guy to get under my skin?”
“That’s the question; would it bother you?”
Staring up into his damn pretty blue eyes Nick felt his resolve slipping away. “Yes.” He whispered.
“There,” Shane’s voice dropped just as low. “That’s what I wanted you to say.” He ran his fingers down the side of Nick’s face. “You owe me a kiss.”
Nick’s heart rate started to jump but he didn’t move, he never could push Shane away. “Why?”
“You kissed me and I didn’t get to return the favor.” Shane wasn’t waiting any time; he leaned in and laid his lips over Nick’s.
As soon as their lips touched Nick felt his groin tighten with need. He kissed Shane back, there was no trying not to, with him this close there was no denying his feelings anymore. His hand gripped the front of Shane’s shirt and pulled him closer like a burst of water needed to calm the fire around his body.
Shane’s hands were slightly cold as he moved him up Nick’s waist from the breeze outside. He moved his hands all around his chest, sending all of Nick’s thoughts to a corner somewhere to wait until he was of sound mind again.
Shane’s hands moved lower next and kept going south until they were at his jeans. Nick wore them baggy and it was rather easy for Shane to slip his hand inside.
Nick gasped and turned his head away from the kiss. He didn’t know what to do with himself as Shane touched him so intimately. “Stop…stop…stop…”
“You don’t want me to.” Shane said full of confidence as he moved his hand at a painfully slow speed up and down.
“Yes I do…” he groaned as everything started to build up high and higher. “I—” he was silenced by Shane kissed him again.
“Hey, Shane, you out here?” Brent was asking from what sounded like the top of the porch.
Shane’s hand and mouth froze, his eyes opened and looked right into Nick’s and found Nick’s green eyes laced with panic and fear of getting caught. Slowly Shane pulled himself free and stepped away. “Yeah, what’s up?” he walked away from the side of the house into the open front lawn. “It’s chilly out here, let’s go inside.”
Alone, Nick slide to the ground and rested his head on his knees. He couldn’t believe everything that just happened and how damn good it felt. With no one around to judge him, he let himself relive those few moments with Shane. He was such a good kisser, he knew how to go slow with a tantalizing skill that made you wish it never ended.
So not only did Shane look li
ke a natural born model, he also knew how to please. Nick was getting sick of him being so darn perfect, had he ever made a mistake in his perfect little life?
It didn’t matter if he was perfect or not, Nick was getting into deep trouble with him with every moment they spend together. He couldn’t fall any deeper than he already was; he might not survive.
Chapter 16
Eventually the dinner party ended and Nick was allowed to finally get out of there. Inside the car and driving far from the Gregory residence, he asked, “What’s going on? Did you force me to this thing because Shane asked you to?”
“What? No.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Julienne wasn’t the best liar out there, he heard her voice hesitate on that one simple word.
“I don’t believe you.” he pulled over on the deserted street. “Look me in the eye and tell me.” Julienne stubbornly turned in her seat and looked him in the eye, she opened her mouth and nothing came out. “Exactly what I thought! How could you do that to me? You know I’m trying to stay away from him.”
“You live together.”
“Exactly, so this is already really hard. I don’t leave because awkward sexual tension and all; it’s better than my aunt’s house. I’m not ready to admit the truth about myself, I’m not ready to enter to anything with Shane and it’s unfair to string him along. I need him to move on.” Nick confessed, it wasn’t easy but it was the truth. He was a coward and he wasn’t ready to come out of the shadows yet.
“Fine, but I don’t agree with it. Shane thinks you can be good together.”
Nick refused to acknowledge the pain in his chest. “Please let’s stop talking about it.” he started driving again and engrossed himself in the simple task.
“You know I love you and would do anything for you.”
“Then the next time Shane mentions me to you, tell him I’m not interested. Tell him he needs to move on.” As Nick said the words a plan started to form. “Maybe that’s the ticket, he needs someone else.”
Secrets Are My Sanity Page 6