by Lauren Dane
* * *
On the roof it was quieter, but the sounds of the city still rose to greet them. The air was warm, the sky was clear and even the lights from all around them couldn’t totally kill the stars high above.
He got them both drinks and steered her to a padded chaise he’d sighted as they got outside. It was in a quiet little corner so he could have her all to himself.
She sat, taking her shoes off and tucking her legs up under her body.
“What is this again?” he asked her. She’d been the one to tell him what to order back at the bar.
“They call it the Skyline. When I make them I just call them ginger lime fizzes. It’s fizzy water with ginger and lime juice. I steep my ginger in the fizzy water in a little muslin bag. Don’t know how they do it here. But it’s quite tasty.”
He clinked his glass to hers and they settled back.
“I’m so full. Like to-the-brim, I-need-to-unbutton-my-jeans-and-take-a-nap full.”
He laughed. “Exactly. Or as my dad calls it, Thanksgiving full.” He put an arm around her shoulders and she leaned in to his body.
“Are you ready for tomorrow’s show?”
“I am. This is a special venue for us. We played here the first time our CD hit Billboard at number one. The crowds are always good to us, always rambunctious and noisy. It feeds your energy.”
“Is it as amazing as it seems to have them sing the words to the song? I go to see Pearl Jam at least twice every tour and from the audience perspective, it gives me chills to be singing along and have Ed get quiet and let the crowd finish the words.”
“I don’t even know if I could do justice to what it’s like. You’re flattered that they like you enough to pay to come to a show. They gotta deal with traffic and parking and then everything costs so much. But they come. They spend their hard-earned money and time and they come to the show. And then they sing along. It’s . . . I don’t even know. Astonishing. Humbling. Our fans kick ass. They’ve been so loyal from day one. We meet our fan club folks in every city when we roll through and love ’em.”
He liked that her questions showed how much she really thought about things. She was insightful as well as beautiful.
“It’s a slog sometimes. The road I mean. You’re in a different hotel every night, or the bus. And the toilet is always breaking down and you don’t have much privacy. You get sick of everyone. The food is utter shit most of the time. So you roll into the next town and you set up and then you walk out on that stage and it all comes back to me. When I sit behind my kit and I look out over that audience and they’re cheering and they’ve made signs and they throw stuff on stage and yell out their favorites and yeah, sing along and it’s the most powerful reminder of just how lucky I am. The exhaustion fades and the joy of making music with my brothers comes back and I remember I’m so fortunate to have this life.”
“That’s lovely. I’m so glad you have that. I can’t imagine the pressure you must be under sometimes. I know some of it through Gillian about Adrian and this chance he took making this double album and all that. But it’s got to be so much more than what she can tell me. I admire that you do what you do.”
“Thank you. Thank you for coming out here. And for dinner and for being you. I’m really glad to be here with you right now.” In fact, he couldn’t think of a single place he’d rather be than right there with her at his side as they stared up at the stars.
He was, indeed, a really lucky man.
8
She had her special access badge on and stood just left of the stage, watching Damien play drums. The crowd screamed so loud she wasn’t sure how Adrian avoided losing his hearing.
Sweet Hollow Ranch was up first, opening for Adrian. They were pretty damned successful in their own right, so she knew this mini tour was more because they all liked each other and had fun playing together.
And it showed.
From where she stood she could see the container of extra drumsticks affixed to the stand to Damien’s right. He wore black fingerless gloves and no shirt. Sweaty. He sang along on the chorus and occasionally took a line or two on his own. He had a good voice. Slow and a little whiskey and smoke. Like he was.
Paddy had a knockout stage presence. He was every inch the frontman. He cocked his head, letting his hair fall forward over one eye. He crooned, the gravel in his voice bringing sighs and hoots from the women in the audience.
Vaughan had his own way. No less sexy than the others, but with a sort of laid-back ease the other two didn’t have. He grinned when the women threw their panties on stage.
“Who does that?” Jules’s lip curled.
Mary tended to agree that it was gross and lacking self-respect. But she was also lucky enough to have spent many hours naked and sweaty with one of the Hurley brothers. She didn’t blame other women for wanting a slice.
“Doesn’t look like they find it to be a hardship.” Cal shrugged, kissing Jules’s temple as she sniffed her annoyance.
“Is he, like . . . that energetic in bed?” Daisy asked, watching Damien play the drums like a madman.
“He’s certainly that creative.” Mary knew she was grinning but she couldn’t help it. “He’s really good with his hands.”
And other parts. All his parts really.
“Damn.”
“Yeah. Usually I’m the one that sweaty when he’s finished. If I had any muscle control left I’d totally use my lighter.”
Daisy laughed, her arm linked with Mary’s. “We need to have a long, graphic discussion when we get back home. Levi is, um, enthusiastic about hotel sex. Who knew? His house is way nicer than our hotel room, for goodness sake. But he’s keeping me nice and relaxed. I figure it’ll be a chore to get you away from sex dude over there so you can tell me when we get back. Then I want every single detail.”
“I’d say something like how it wasn’t as exciting as you made it out to be. But I’d be lying.”
“Gurl.”
She nodded at Daisy. “I am not exaggerating. Anyway.” Her gaze went back to him. He was so sexy she could barely stand it. She wondered if he’d feel odd if she wanted to lick him. He was sweaty and it should have been gross. But it so was not.
Probably not. He liked sex. He hadn’t shown anything less than total enthusiasm for it in whatever manner it came.
He was sort of feral up there. So much energy. Legs moving. Arms moving. His biceps actually rippled as he played. His tattoos glistened under the lights.
Something south of her belly button might have actually pulsed. Good gracious.
She was going to have to jump him the first opportunity she got and that was all there was to it.
And when the audience sang along with “Lay Back,” one of their biggest hits, it was different for her. After their conversation the night before she watched them from a totally new perspective.
He turned to catch her eye as she sang along too. He grinned and she grinned back. Their connection surprised her because it was so unexpected. He got to her without even trying.
They finished their set and exited on the side where she waited. He tossed his sticks out into the audience and then headed right to her, kissing her hard and fast, leaving her even more breathless.
“You were on fire out there.”
He tried to step back, but she kept her arms around his waist to hold him in place. “I’m getting you sweaty. Sorry.”
She gave him a smile, sending one brow up. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been sweaty ever since you started playing.”
He laughed. “Oh, so it’s that way?”
She shrugged. “Does that make me a deviant?”
“Whatever it makes you, I’m glad of it. I do need to clean up. Just for like ten minutes. I’m playing Adrian’s set too.”
“I’ll be here.”
He leaned in close. “I’d invite you back. You know how much I like you wet. But my brothers are around.”
“You can get me wet later.”
“That’s a
promise I’m going to make you keep.”
She watched him retreat. He had a really nice back. Damn.
It was fascinating to watch them take down Sweet Hollow Ranch’s gear and put Adrian’s out. People were everywhere seemingly all at once. Techs brought out and tested various guitars. Microphones were being checked.
She’d seen it before when she’d been in the audience. But it was different here. So close she could see it better. See the hive of activity in the wings and back behind curtains. She’d had no idea that there were things beneath the stage as well.
Like a whole secret world she now had access to. Crazy and awesome.
Brody had Rennie on one side and Elise on the other. Rennie had cool headphones on to protect her hearing. Miles had them too. Todd and Ben were on the other side of the stage, keeping an eye on Erin in their way. The area was positively awash with friends and family and it made Mary so happy for Gillian and Miles. So much love and support. They both deserved it so much.
Adrian’s CD had dropped just two weeks before—much to Adrian’s relief, Mary knew—and had skyrocketed up the charts, dominating everything in its path. The double CD was full of material about the change in Adrian’s life. About finding love both with Gillian and his son. About bitterness and finding salvation in those you loved.
Mary adored that CD and not just because it was about people she cared for. There was an energy in the music that she’d connected with. A joy in creation. She was thrilled to be part of it.
* * *
Damien avoided the women who always seemed to make their way backstage no matter how much security was in place. He smiled at them, nodded but kept walking.
He had company for that night, thank you very much, and no plans to fuck that up. Especially after that scene the night before with the two chicks outside the restaurant.
Mary was a classy woman. She’d take one look at this insanity and run. So he went straight to the dressing room, showered, chugged a protein shake to get his system back on track and headed back up to where she was.
“Hey, Damien.”
Shit. What was her name? Lisa? Sandy? He smiled at a woman he partially remembered having given him a blow job last tour. Maybe. She looked familiar enough. A little bit of guilt lay in his belly. It wasn’t much fair to her either.
“Hey.” He nodded with a smile and kept walking. She caught up and he slowed down, not wanting to come up the stairs and have Mary see.
“What are you up to?”
“Gotta run, back on stage for Adrian’s set in two minutes. Have a good one.”
She got it, he could tell. It made him feel like an asshole, which his mother had been saying for a while. But now he knew Mary and she’d given him some perspective.
Sure, it was early with her and all. But not so early he couldn’t tell it was different than all the women before. And not so different he didn’t know instinctively that Mary would hate this part of his world. He never wanted to hurt her.
He waved and kept walking. She peeled off and headed back down to the hallway they’d come from and he moved toward the best part of the tour.
He put an arm around her waist when he got back and she smiled up at him, leaning into his body.
“I’m disappointed you’re not sweaty anymore.”
“You are? God, why? I’m a beast when we get off stage. You don’t want any of it, I promise.”
She tiptoed up and he bent to hear.
“It was hot. Really, really hot to see you so sweaty from playing drums. I wanted to take a long lick.”
A shiver went through him. “Ah. Well, next time then. Or you can watch me practice and in private you can lick me. Long as I can lick you right back.”
Her laugh was low and sultry and she made him happy.
He stepped away, needing to get back into the right head space.
* * *
Damien put his rock star back on and Mary gave him the room to do it, fascinated as she watched. Adrian approached. He was . . . different. Wearing a different face. His performance face maybe, but damn, he was sexy. He moved to Gillian, taking her into a big hug. He spoke quietly in her ear and she blushed.
Erin didn’t look a whole lot different than she normally did. She tended to wear that otherness more boldly.
She nodded at Damien and grinned over at Adrian and Gillian. “You all ready?”
Across the stage Brody had come out with Martine and Ben held Alexander. Both little ones wore big headphones as well.
Erin waved at them all. “Swiss Family Rock Star. We’re like the Waltons of rock and roll.”
Mary laughed. “Totally.”
The lights went down and the excitement and tension backstage ramped up. Erin had her eyes closed, her head was down and she patted a little pattern on the thigh of her jeans.
Damien rolled his head on his shoulders and Adrian bounced up and down a few times.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Adrian Brown.”
The crowd roared and the lights flashed as he jogged out, waving. Erin followed and then Damien got behind his drum set testing them, delighting the fans.
They launched into an old Mud Bay song, the band Erin and Adrian started many years ago when they were little more than kids.
One of Mary’s favorites, too.
She danced around, waving her arms, clapping and having a great time. Vaughan and Paddy joined them, bracketing her sides. She liked Damien’s brothers, really liked that they’d come to watch him play.
Several songs in and they finally took a break. Adrian gulped down some water as he handed off one guitar for another.
“Hey, folks, so I know this young musician and I convinced him to play a song or two with us tonight.”
“Oh my god! They’re calling Miles out!”
Miles took a deep breath, handed the big headphones off to his mother and put in an earbud-type thing in one ear as he headed out.
She took Gillian’s hand, squeezing.
And Miles walked on stage like he’d always been there. That shy, sweet toddler was something far more as the lights hit him.
He blushed though, when the tech handed him his bass. Erin leaned in to kiss his cheek as he got plugged in.
Adrian hugged him, one armed. “This is my son, Miles. You can hear him a little on the new record. He helped out in the studio. We’re going to do a cover. One of his favorites.”
The chords sounded for Radiohead’s “Creep.”
Mary moved to Gillian’s side, Jules on the other. Gillian cried, but they were good tears. Mary had her own, as did Jules.
“Creep” had been the first song Miles had learned the bass line for right after Adrian had come into his life. It was a special song between the two of them. And for Gillian as well.
Miles had been part of Mary’s life since he’d been an infant. To see him out there on stage, acting very much like his father, totally blew her away. Tears came and she made no move to stop them. This was her Miles. She’d changed his diapers. Had cooked French toast for him when he’d slept over at her house. He’d ridden his bike in her long driveway. Had cleaned out her pantry on more than one occasion. He was like a son and she really couldn’t be prouder of him.
“That’s our boy.” Jules gave a whistle as the song ended and everyone applauded. Miles nodded his head, tipping his chin in a way she’d seen Adrian do dozens of times. In fact, the way Erin did. Those Browns.
Gillian had found her special someone. Miles had the father he’d always deserved. What a beautiful time in Mary’s life to see her friends so happy.
* * *
Until this tour, Damien and his brothers had tended toward some hard-ass partying after a show ended. But with Adrian, things had changed, and Damien hadn’t minded. If he wanted to party, there was always one to be had if they wished it.
There was power in that. Seductive to have so many people at your beck and call willing and able to make your every desire a reality. But he’d done plenty of shots. Had banged plenty
of women whose names he couldn’t recall. He’d done more things than he’d ever dreamed of back home on the ranch.
And yet, he thought as he watched Mary hug Miles and compliment him about his performance that night, the simple things still made him happiest. And that was a powerful lesson.
“Kinda fast, isn’t it?” Vaughan sidled up next to him.
“Hm?”
Vaughan laughed. “Her. You. You and her. It’s clear just by watching the way you are with Mary that she’s different. You’re different. But you don’t really know her.”
“I know her. But I want to know more. Over the last few months I’ve shared more with her on the phone or via text than I think I have with any woman ever.”
“I like her.” His brother shrugged.
“Me too. A lot.”
“Yeah, kind of obvious, that.”
He grinned. “I know. I can’t help it. It seems silly to pretend I don’t dig her.”
“She digs you too. But this life . . .”
Damien nodded. “I know.” It was hard to have a relationship in the industry. So much temptation. And he knew without a doubt that Mary Whaley would not tolerate any nonsense with other women or with wild partying.
“Dude, can you give her that?”
“You think I’m so weak I can’t?” Damien paused. “I’m not asking her to marry me or anything. I like her. I want to like her more. I want to know her. I want a real relationship with her. I know it’ll be hard. But I’m not an idiot.”
“I don’t think you’re weak. I think you love women. A lot. But I can see this one is different and that’s good. At the same time I want you to be careful with her. She’s a . . . well, she’s not what we’re used to seeing out here.”
“All I can do is take it slow and step by step.” He could actually stop seeing her now. End it nicely. It would probably save heartbreak. Maybe. But he wanted her. Wanted more.
A year ago he’d have been so freaked out by the very idea he’d have never even looked her way again. But he’d already begun to get tired of that life. Of fast women—though not of fast cars.