Olivia: No.
Nate: Liv…Don’t make me cancel our date I had planned. I know you’ve wanted to go to this specific place...
Olivia: LOL! You wouldn’t dare.
Nate: Liv.
Olivia: Nathaniel?
Olivia knew Nate was purposely baiting her.
Nate: Say it first.
Olivia: Nope. Talk soon.
The relationship between them had been going better than she’d expected. Yet, Olivia still found herself holding back. She still kept her heart on reserve. It was automatic.
For the past month, Nate and Olivia settled into a natural and easy relationship—minus the sex. They had gotten to know one another on a more personal level. Between the texts and calls, they saw each other as much as possible and spent many nights at each other’s home. Olivia wasn’t ready for the next phase just yet, and thankfully Nate wasn’t pushing her. Sure, she wanted him and sometimes wanted to give into him desperately, especially when she woke up wrapped snuggly in his strong arms. Nate could hardly take his eyes or hands off her when they were together. He seemed to adore her, like she was the center of his whole world. It wasn’t in her nature to open up so easily on an emotional level, but she was beginning to expose pieces of herself to Nate. But Olivia knew once sex started, heavy emotions would be involved, and she wasn’t sure she was completely ready.
Olivia blew out a weary breath and ran a hand through her hair, pulling on it in frustration. Truthfully, the question wasn’t whether she was ready for it or not. It was if she could handle all of Nate, plus her emotions. She had a sinking suspicion that he was going to consume more than just her body. She didn’t want to jinx something that hadn’t started, but when it came down to it, Olivia wasn’t sure she could handle another heartbreak. It was why she barricaded her heart long ago and closed off her emotions.
She never wanted to feel heartache again.
The next morning, after brunch with her mother and catching up, Olivia realized she needed to see Diane Jackson sooner rather than later. A few questions popped into her head in the middle of the night so she called ahead this morning to let them know she was in town and would be stopping by. She’d be lying to say she wasn’t nervous. Stepping into Luke’s childhood home after all this time wasn’t going to be easy. Olivia wasn’t sure if Luke would be there and if he was, she wasn’t sure what to say to him. Hi? Hello? How are you? How have you been? It had been nine years since she’d seen him; they were virtual strangers now.
Driving down the dirt road with the windows down and music playing, Olivia was hit with the memorable aroma of fresh cut grass, red dirt and humidity in the air. It was an earthy mixture that was home to her. She smiled widely and cranked up the radio, but just as she did, one of Luke’s songs began to play. Figures. The longing in his voice, the pull in the lyrics, the hint of smokiness, sent a shiver through her body and her smile faltered.
…she’s the one with the lips I miss…but never want to see again, the tears I never want to taste again…who left a bruise under my ribs from the pounding it took…baby, I’m gonna keep on lovin’ you with the words you want to hear…that feeling, been there so many times it’s like a second home to me…you deserve the heartache, that aching pit of regret while I keep on lovin’ you…
His voice was the same as she remembered—raspy, but sexy as hell.
She could just imagine his green eyes penetrating her resolve as his fingers strummed the guitar… The swipe of his tongue across his lips to wet them right before he sang…
Would it always be like this? Would there ever come a time when she’d be able to listen to one of his songs without feeling anything at all?
Nostalgia came back full force as she pulled into the driveway. The Jackson house looked exactly the same. Olivia took a deep breath and exhaled. It was a home she spent many hours in growing up before they turned into a couple. As kids, they always ran around barefoot through the woods trying to catch fireflies in the dead heat of summer nights. The summers, when their only responsibilities were to brush their teeth before bed, were long gone.
Making her way up the steps, she rang the bell and waited. Seconds later the door flew open by a young man who was wearing nothing but denim shorts slung low on his hips. His hair was disheveled but he had the same prominent jaw, just as she remembered Luke having.
This had to be one of his brothers, she realized.
His eyes narrowed and his head angled, sizing her up. “Olivia,” she said before he could guess.
He paused, and then eyes, a shade darker than his brother’s, lit up in surprise. A wide smile stretched across his face as he looked her up and down again.
“Hey, Livy, how you doing! It’s John,” he said excitedly.
“It’s good to see you, John,” she said. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown.”
John chuckled. A crooked grin twisted the corner of his mouth. “I’m not a kid anymore, if that’s what you mean,” he laughed. “Honey, it’s been like ten years or something.”
Honey? Honey? Olivia nearly balked at honey.
Trouble. This one is definitely going to be trouble.
Clearing her throat, Olivia said, “Yes…almost ten years. Are your parents home? I was in town and wanted to stop by. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them.”
“Not here to see Luke?”
Open curiosity was laced in John’s question. Her heart practically skipped a beat at John’s question.
“Ah, no.”
“Oh, well, that’s a good thing because he’s not here anyway. When was the last time you saw him?”
Olivia breathed in a sigh of relief and thanked her lucky stars. Just as she was about to answer John, Luke’s dad pulled the door completely open. The strained lines on his forehead seemed more visible than when she last saw him.
“Hey, Livy,” he said gruffly and pulled her into a bear hug. “Good to see you again.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw John’s brows scrunch at his father’s last statement. Evidently he had no idea they’d been to Savannah.
“You too... Thought I’d stop by and say hi.”
“Sure, come on into the kitchen and let me fix you a drink.”
Turning to his son, he said, “Go on upstairs and take a shower. You have community service to do today.” The deep groan from John was one of annoyance. His eyes squeezed shut and his head rolled back, the veins in his neck jutting out. He clearly wasn’t looking forward to this community service.
“Go on,” Clark ordered. “Or else they’ll tack on more time. Next time don’t screw up and mind your manners so you won’t have to do this.”
John stomped his way up the stairs, leaving them alone.
“Come on in, dear. Tell us what’s going on.”
“Well hello, Dr. King,” Mrs. Jackson winked and went in for a hug.
“Please, Diane” she said, “just call me Olivia. I’ve known you for too long.”
She patted Olivia’s hand and nodded. “So, what brings you here, honey?” Diane walked around and sat down on a barstool across from Olivia.
“Is it alright to talk freely here? I wasn’t sure if anyone in the family knew you’d been to see me.” It almost came out in a whisper.
“No, we haven’t told anyone yet. We didn’t want to worry any of the boys. With Luke on tour, the twins always busy with sports, and John who can’t seem to stay out of trouble, we didn’t want to worry any of them. We figured once the results were in, then we would decide what to do. But you can go ahead and speak.”
“Well for starters, why did you wait so long to do the blood work? I almost called you to see if you had done it but then your results finally showed up.”
Her lips formed a thin line. “I was feeling fine after I saw you. I thought it was in my head so I figured I didn’t need it. Just thought I pushed myself too hard like I normally do.”
“She’s hardheaded, that’s why,” Clark chimed in. Diane’s hand flew back and
playfully swatted her husband’s stomach.
“I am not,” she replied. Clark looked at Olivia with eyes that said ‘yeah right’ and a smile curved Olivia’s mouth.
“Care to tell me what happened?”
“Well,” she started, “I became extremely tired again, more so than usual. Before, like I said, I thought I had pushed myself, but this time I hadn’t done anything out of the norm. I watched myself closely. My joints were aching again, and the numbness and tingly sensations were all over my body this time.
“Plus, my vision is off. Sometimes I wear my contacts too long, and thought I needed to change them, so I did. It’s strange… It comes and goes. Everything kind of just flares up I guess,” she finished using her hands as if to show a mini explosion. “I knew it was something more, and that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.”
“You didn’t tell me about your eyes, Di.”
“I didn’t want to worry you anymore.”
“Honey, I’m your husband,” Clark said with sad eyes, his graying brows pinched together. “I want to know what’s going on with you at all times. I know you like to take it all on like Superwoman, but I’m here to help. Let me know when you need me for anything, please.”
Diane nodded in agreement. A fragile smile shifted her face as their eyes met. “Okay,” softly rolled off her lips.
“Okay… What about fever? Headaches? Dizziness? Inflammation? Any of those?”
“Well, yes, but I didn’t think that was anything to complain about. Who doesn’t get headaches? I have all boys. I’m bound to get a headache here and there.” She took a sip of her sweet tea.
“I need to hear everything, Diane. Even if you think it’s nothing, it could be something that could change the game plan for me. Trust me,” Olivia said as she placed her hand over Diane’s.
Diane nodded. “Then yes to all of those.”
“Alright, so blood work is a good thing, but also confusing. Your results show that you may possibly have an autoimmune disease, but autoimmune disease can be many different illnesses—which are treatable. It’s really difficult to tell without further testing, to be honest, and I don’t want to diagnose without doing so.
“It’s one of the reasons I came out here to see you. I didn’t want you to have to make another trip to Savannah just for this information and since I was visiting my parents I figured I’d stop by. I’m going to order you a series of tests to be done and once they’re completed I’ll look over the results and we can go from there.”
“What kinds of illnesses are associated with autoimmune disease?” Diane sat quietly, her face turning pale as her husband posed the question.
“Well, there are a number of them. Some mimic others, which is why multiple tests should be done. They’ll help in ruling the other issues out. It just takes a little time. I’ll give you the information for facilities in Savannah that do these tests. Once the appointment is set, you go. Don’t back out because you’re suddenly feeling better, Diane. This could take weeks, so be prepared to wait. I may order one test after another just to be sure. But don’t worry, we’ll figure it out together.”
“Thank you, Livy.” It was barely audible, but Olivia heard it and felt awful. That was one of the reasons why she never planned to treat family or anyone she considered family. Not that she had much family, but throw relatives and friends in the mix and it was an emotional career.
Olivia got up from her barstool. It was time for her to go. Being in this house and speaking with Luke’s parents about a possible lifelong disease was really weighing on her. She thought of Diane as her second mother.
“I’m going to head out. If you have any questions, I’ll give you my personal cell phone number and you can contact me anytime. I don’t normally hand out my phone number, but these circumstances are a little different and I trust you with it.” Olivia jotted her number down on the back of her business card and left it on the table for them.
“Thank you,” Clark said. “We really appreciate you coming out here.”
“Oh, it’s really no problem.”
“Umm, Olivia? Did…you ah…want to know how Luke is doing?”
Uncertainty was written all over that question and hit Olivia hard. Of course she wanted to know about Luke. She always wanted to know, but she wouldn’t dare ask. If she did ask, then she wouldn’t feel like she wasn’t staying true to Nate. But if his mother did…well, she would listen.
Olivia pushed her hair behind her ear and answered. “Yes, I would like to know, actually. I just didn’t think it was appropriate to bring it up at a time like this.” Her heart beat rapidly as she waited for her to respond.
“Oh, nonsense!” She shooed her hand forward with a large smile, her eyes lighting up. “He’s on tour at the moment so we hardly get to see him, but he’s building a large fan base,” she said enthusiastically. “He performs as much as he can, working to the bone it seems. It’s hard to believe my baby boy is playing on stage. He’s coming home soon. I can’t wait to see him!”
A large grin crossed Olivia’s face. She was genuinely happy for Luke. She once told him long ago that he belonged on stage, that it was where he was born to be.
“Well, if you need anything call my cell,” Olivia said again over her shoulder then walked out the door.
“We will. Thank you again, Livy.”
And in that instant as she left their house, all Olivia could do was pray that everything would be fine.
“Come in, Shelly,” Olivia said, not even bothering to raise her head up from the previous patient’s chart. She knew it was Shelly. The woman still insisted on giving two knocks and waiting for permission to enter. Some days it annoyed her to no end and Olivia just wished the nurse would walk in without hesitation.
Shelly poked her head around the door and said, “You have a call.”
“Who is it?”
“He wouldn’t say…only that he insisted you speak with him. He swears he knows you very well and would talk to him when I told him you were busy.”
Must be Nate. She’d have to call him back when she got the first opportunity. She was too swamped at the moment.
“Take a message for me. I’m very busy right now, Shell.”
Shelly paused. “The thing is he’s very insistent. When I told him you were busy and I would take a message, he told me to call you ‘Care Bear,’ whatever that means. He wouldn’t say—”
Olivia snapped her head up, her eyes popping out and her stomach in her throat. She was suddenly frozen in her chair. The only thing moving was the rapid pounding of her heart against her ribs. Only one person knew that name.
“I got it. Thanks, Shelly,” she responded with a fake smile. “You can leave now.”
Shelly smiled wearily, closing the door behind her. Taking a deep breath—or five—Olivia tried to calm her nerves before she picked up the tangled corded black phone.
“Dr. Olivia King.”
“Olivia...” a deep voice echoed over the line.
Chills flitted over her body. It reminded her of his lyrical flames of poetry that used to flicker against her skin. All it took was four syllables and she knew who it was even without the endearment he used with Shelly.
Olivia couldn’t believe she was hearing Luke’s voice. It had been more than nine very long years since she’d heard a peep from him. Not that she expected to. He ignored every email and every phone call, disregarding all her efforts to stay in contact.
Trying to play it cool, Olivia responded after clearing her throat. “Yes, this is Olivia. What can I do for you?”
“Olivia, it’s…Luke. How…How are you? It’s been quite a while.”
“Hi…Luke. I’m well,” Olivia answered, trying to keep it cool. “How are you? I heard you’re on tour right now. It seems your singing career has taken off.”
Olivia silently cursed, using every word she could think of. She squeezed her eyes shut for being such an idiot. He wasn’t calling to talk to her, obviously.
“Ahh, yeah,
” he said then let out a low chuckle. “The tour’s over so I’ll be headin’ home,” Luke answered. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you if you have a minute.”
“I do. What’s up?”
“Good… Thanks… I heard my parents came to see you. I had no idea that you’re a doctor now. That’s amazing. Good for you.”
Olivia flinched at his openly honest statement. Had she not left for medical school? While there was no way of him knowing what she had done for the past nine years, why was it that she knew what he had done with his life?
“I am... I’m a neurologist now, obviously. And thank you.”
“Livy—”
Cutting him off, Olivia said in a hurried professional voice, “What can I do for you, Luke?”
There was a slight clearing of his throat before he answered. “After what I’ve been told, I’m concerned about my mother’s condition getting out. Well, any condition she may have. I know we didn’t leave off on the best terms, but I’m asking you, please, to not say anything to anyone.”
“Luke, I’m a doctor and there are laws I must follow,” she said. “I would never say anything to anyone about your mother’s condition or anyone else’s condition for that matter. I take my medical oath very seriously. I would never violate it, not for anyone. No one will know anything about your mother or any treatment that she may or may not need. My staff is trustworthy.”
Olivia waited for Luke to respond. She loved what she did, every draining minute of it, and she wouldn’t jeopardize it for anything, or anyone.
“That’s a relief to hear. Thanks, Livy. I honestly didn’t think you’d say anything, just needed to hear it from you to be sure. I can’t help but have my doubts. I know my family is worried about what the town would say, which is why I understand they came up to Savannah. That town loves to talk shit, plus with people always wanting info… We don’t need that on top of everything else.”
It was as if he was expecting her to say the opposite. Olivia pursed her lips together and glanced around her office. Luke’s tone hit a low and deep spot inside her. His voice sounded like gravel rubbing against smooth asphalt.
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