“But all that has changed now, right?” She couldn’t bear to think that children were still being abused in that horrible place. “There was a long series of articles about the reformation of Harbinger Guild.”
“Yes. They’re working very hard to clean up the mess, but that doesn’t help Arton.”
She drank some more coffee but it was really a stall. Did she want to know the specifics of what Arton had suffered?
“You need to know.”
Her gaze flew back to Kage. Had he read her mind or just her expression? If she was serious about building a future with Arton, she needed to understand his past. Swallowing past her uncertainty, she said, “Tell me.”
“As his anchor, I have access to his memories.” Something almost calculative flashed in his dark eyes as he asked, “Has he explained what an anchor is?”
She nodded. “They used to be called masters, but anchor sounds less demeaning.”
Kage hesitated, as if he’d say more on the subject. Instead, he sighed and returned to the overarching topic. “Their ‘training’ program utilized many brainwashing techniques, isolation, utter dependency, sensory deprivation, or over stimulation. He endured countless beatings. At times he was starved, and through it all, he was ridiculed and demeaned, told that he was nothing without his mentors. The guild was the only family he would ever have. He was so worthless, so hated, that his father begged them to take him away. Without the academy, he would be homeless and destitute.”
Her first tear escaped with the sweep of her lashes, and then she couldn’t stop. She covered her mouth with her hand and wept. “Who would do that to a child? God, who would do that to anyone?” Kage walked around the table and lightly patted her back.
After a long pause, he removed his hand and asked, “Can you take more or should I stop?”
She took a deep breath, then shook her head. “Don’t stop. I want to hear everything.”
“Not in one sitting you don’t.” He shuddered violently, then shook his head and walked back to his side of the table. He returned to his seat as he continued his explanation. “I’ve had more than twenty years to sift through his nightmares and there are parts I still can’t stomach.”
But Arton didn’t have that choice. He’d lived through every horrific event. He had no way to escape the memories. “Go on.”
Kage accepted her decision with a nod. “They convinced him he was a destitute orphan, when in reality he was heir to one of the largest fortunes on Rodymia. He was taught that his only hope in life was to hone his skills and dedicate himself to Harbinger Guild. Blind obedience and brainless acceptance was their goal with every trainee. So they played all sorts of head games with him. One tutor would be horribly abusive so another could rush in and rescue Arton from the abuse. This allowed the rescuer to gain his trust and take him deeper into the indoctrination.”
“And this went on until he was nineteen?”
“He was rescued when he was nineteen, but he’s still fighting to purge his mind of their...poison.”
She nodded. They’d barely scratched the surface, she was sure, but it gave her a much better idea of what Arton had lived through. “And becoming a mercenary certainly didn’t help in his search to find peace. Why couldn’t he have become a house painter? I don’t know, something soothing and mundane.”
Kage chuckled as he stood. “Arton’s search for peace is new, but I want to encourage it in any way I can.”
“I agree.” He was obviously ready to get back to work, so she stood too. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Anytime. And I’ll offer one last piece of advice. Don’t be afraid to push him. He’s never going to bring those walls down on his own.”
ARTON SHOVED HIS PLATE aside, not caring that his food was only half eaten. Listening to Skyla and Lily chat away as if they didn’t have a care in the world had destroyed his appetite. Lily was clearly in awe of Skyla, and Arton couldn’t really blame her. Skyla was impressive. Ten minutes after she’d walked into main medical, Jillian was sitting up fully conscious and joking with Stront, her newly bonded mate.
When Skyla was bombarded with questions about how she’d done it, she just smiled and said, “Trade secrets. I’m not allowed to say.”
Kage drew Arton aside and urged him to question her in private. If they could learn how Skyla had freed Jillian from her mental oblivion, they should be able to prevent others from falling into the same trap.
So here he sat in his cabin’s small dining room, sharing a meal with his father’s war bride, the female he resented above all others. He watched her objectively, trying hard to keep his feelings distanced. Lily clearly found her amusing and warm. Even he had to admit Skyla was charming and undeniably intelligent.
“How did you do it?” he asked point blank as their conversation momentarily lapsed.
“How did I do what, dear?” Skyla looked at him over the rim of her wineglass. Her open, honest expression made her seem innocent, but the subtle hint of amusement in her voice told him she knew exactly what he was asking.
“How did you heal Jillian?”
“I’ll explain it to you because you might actually understand my meaning. Those Rodyte doctors, even the overlord, have no real context for what Jillian was experiencing.”
Most believed Kage was a techno-mage with no real psychic abilities, so her mildly bigoted conclusion didn’t surprise him. “I appreciate your confidence. What happened to Jillian?”
“She was trapped on the metaphysical plane.”
He nodded, remembering the images in his dream. “So you simply guided her out?”
“Basically. She had to free Stront’s magic before the realm would release her, but that didn’t take long once I calmed her down.”
His gaze narrowed and he reached for his water glass. “Are you inferring that you’re this Ghost Guide?”
She laughed and looked at Lily. “Took him long enough.”
“But you were nowhere near Earth when the battle born transformations began,” he pointed out.
Her elegant hand waved away his objection. “You can dream meld. You know the metaphysical plane has nothing to do with physical space. How did you contact Sedrik and Rebecca?”
“But why help the battle born? Their ambitions have nothing to do with Bilarri.”
“I have little to do with Bilarri anymore. My life mate is Rodyte and three of my four sons are battle born.”
Her four sons? Did she expect him to be flattered by the inclusion?
“One of your sons commands the Intrepid,” Lily easily connected the dots. “Did Kaden ask for your assistance, or were you just checking up on him?”
“I was uninvited in the beginning, but it didn’t take long for Kaden to figure things out.”
Lily seemed satisfied with the answer, but he saw a hole in her explanation. “Their program is still going strong, and yet you’re here with us. How are you able to accomplish both?”
“Delegation, silly man. I trained my replacement and she trained an entire team. The scientists can deny it all they like, but there is a metaphysical element to these transformations.” She shot Lily an apologetic smile. “No insult intended.”
“None taken. And I happen to agree. It’s hard for we scientists to think outside the box, but it has become more and more apparent that there are forces at work in this situation that we can’t explain through scientific principles.”
“You’re the Ghost Guide?” It made perfect sense, but his resentment made it hard to believe.
“Actually I was the Ghost Guide.” She smiled again. “Rebecca now holds that title.”
“Sedrik’s mate.” Arton rolled his eyes and pushed back from the table. “Of course he would find a female capable of commanding magic. Nothing but the best for good old Sedrik.”
Skyla arched her brows, but sadness clouded her gaze. “Do you realize how jealous that makes you sound?”
“Of course I’m jealous of Sedrik,” Arton snapped, yet he’d never admit
ted it before. Not even to himself. “Who wouldn’t be?”
Skyla left the table as well, approaching him cautiously. “Your brother’s life is pretty idyllic, but yours could be a lot better if you would stop fighting your heritage. You’re a Lux, Arton. In fact you’re—”
“I am Arton the Heretic! That will never change. Arton Lux died a very long time ago.”
Skyla didn’t argue with him, nor did she turn away. “Then how do I get to know the person you are now? I want to be part of your life and I’m willing to do so on your terms.”
He just stared at her, unable to comprehend her motivation. She gained nothing by befriending him, so why make the effort? But evidence of her sincerity was all around him—had been for years if he were honest with himself. “Why?” His throat was so filled with emotion he barely got the word out.
She moved closer and tentatively touched his arm. “You know why. You’re important to my life mate, which makes you important to me.”
He ground his teeth and jerked away. “Only one thing is important to Kryton Lux and that is Kryton Lux. I need some air.” Without looking at either of the females, he stormed from the cabin.
Chapter Nine
Torn between compassion and anger, Lily watched Arton stomp from the room. “He just might be the most obstinate person ever inflicted on this galaxy.”
Skyla’s smile was patient, almost serene. “You haven’t met his father.”
Lily pushed back from the table and put the dishes in the recycler, afraid she’d start throwing them if she didn’t remove the temptation. “How can you keep doing it year after year? If someone slapped my hand away as many times as he’s done it to you, I think I’d stop holding it out.”
“If he were just being a jerk, I wouldn’t put up with it. But Arton’s resentment is born of pain, deep and abiding pain. The anger and bitterness has kept him alive. It’s all he knows, all he has ever known.”
“But he’s safe now. Why can’t he get past it?”
“I don’t think he knows how.” Skyla helped her clear the table, then they went into the living room and sat on the sofa. “He lashes out whenever he feels vulnerable. It’s a protective mechanism and I’m not even sure he’s aware of how often he does it.”
“So how can we reach him without making him feel vulnerable?”
“I can’t. Trust me. I’ve been trying for thirty-six years. The harbinger leaders convinced him that Kryton is a villain. Their lies penetrated so deeply that Arton believes them to this day. I’m an extension of Kryton, so I’m guilty by association. You, on the other hand, have no connection to my mate. You’re part of Arton’s new life, so there’s a slim chance he’ll let you in.”
“I want that so badly, it’s ridiculous.” She sighed and whispered under her breath. “If only we were compatible. He couldn’t hide from a true mate.”
Skyla scrunched up her face, obviously confused by Lily’s comments. “Aren’t you his anchor? That’s basically the same thing.”
Lily looked into Skyla’s eyes, intrigued by her statement. “What are you talking about? Arton’s anchor is Kage, and Arton insists that they aren’t lovers.”
Skyla looked slightly guilty. “I think I’ve—how do you humans say—let the cat out of the bag.”
“Well, the damage is done. You might as well explain what you meant. If you don’t, I’ll just ask Arton, and he’s obviously not ready for me to know.”
Pursing her lips, Skyla paused, likely debating her options. All of a sudden she shrugged and the tension melted from her features. “An anchor bond can be formed with anyone, so it can be nonsexual. However, if the harbinger wants it to be more, he can open the link so wide it rivals a mating bond. You would share thoughts and emotions, even experience life from each other’s perspective once you learned to navigate the link.”
“But it wouldn’t allow us to have children together?”
Skyla shook her head. “Unfortunately not. To my knowledge there is nothing that can make that possible if you’re not genetically compatible.”
Lily nodded, saddened by the confirmation yet encouraged by the rest. If they could bond as closely as compatible couples, it would make life richer, more fulfilling. So why hadn’t he at least told her it was an option?
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Skyla frowned, compassion warming her gaze. “Clearly, I’ve upset you.”
“No. Arton upset me. We’ve been together less than a week, but he keeps insisting he wishes we could mate. Either he was lying about that or... Is it possible he doesn’t know about what you just told me?”
Again Skyla shook her head. “He knows. No one can construct an anchor bond without understanding how it works. I think he’s protecting you from his past. If he made you his anchor—”
“I’d have access to his memories.” Again Lily sighed, yet a bit of her frustration eased. It wasn’t indifference that kept him away. It was his determination to protect her. “Kage told me he has a hard time coping with some of the images.”
“Think how much harder it would be for you,” Skyla cautioned. “You’re not nearly as jaded as Overlord Razel.”
“True, but that doesn’t mean I’m too weak to deal with it.” She loved his protective instincts. It made her feel special and cared for when he was ready to jump in and fight her battles for her. However, it also showed that he doubted the strength of her resolve. She straightened her back and lifted her chin. “Regardless of what Arton believes, I won’t dissolve into hysterics if I’m exposed to the darker side of life.”
“Males continually underestimate the strength and resilience of females.” Skyla reached over and squeezed her hand. “I do not. I know you can, and will, triumph over any adversity life sends your way.”
“I appreciate your vote of confidence, but what I really need is a Ghost Guide. I assume you aren’t willing to hang around until all the transformations have taken place.”
Skyla’s head dipped once acknowledging Lily’s prediction. “That’s a safe assumption. My mate will be furious when he realizes where I’ve gone. However, I will get things started like I did with the battle born. I’ll spend some time with the transformed females and train a team leader.”
“Who can in turn train her team of guides?”
“Exactly. I had an advantage with Rebecca. She bonded with my son, so her abilities mirror mine. Still, I’m confident I can locate someone equally competent. It’s really not that hard once the person understands how to manipulate the metaphysical plane.”
Lily knew her smile was wistful, but she couldn’t hide her envy. She would never understand what any of it felt like unless Arton started trusting her.
Skyla suddenly turned her head toward the door, then gazed off into the distance. “He’s on his way back.” Her eyes refocused and she pushed to her feet. “It’s probably best if I’m not here when he arrives.”
Lily stood too, fascinated by Skyla’s casual claim. “You know where he is at all times?”
“Of course not. That would make me a god. I formed a connection to Arton years ago when we interacted in the dream realm. I’m able to sense him when his emotions are particularly volatile and when I intentionally search for him. It’s not unlike the link I have with my biological children.”
Something in Skyla’s phrasing made Lily ask, “Do you consider Arton your son?”
“I always have and always will.” Skyla’s smile was sad as she headed for the door. “Now all I have to do is convince one of the most obstinate males in the galaxy to change his mind about me.”
Lily followed her to the door, not wanting the visit to end. “Well, I won’t just be rooting for you. I’ll do everything in my power to help take the blinders off his eyes.”
“I know you will.” Skyla gave her a quick hug. “We’ll talk again soon.”
Arton returned so quickly after Skyla’s departure that Lily wondered if they’d passed each other in the corridor. Rather than ask him about it and risk starting an ar
gument about Skyla, she simply waited for him to speak. He made eye contact briefly, then strode across the cabin and manufactured a drink. After tossing back the cloudy blue liquor, he put the glass in the recycler and faced her.
“I can’t be what they want me to be. I’m not sure I ever could.” Rather than bitter, he sounded sad, so she didn’t mention his rude departure earlier.
“What do they want you to be?” She moved toward him cautiously. His emotional volatility always made her feel helpless. “I don’t understand your objection.”
“They want me to be...one of them.”
She wasn’t sure what that meant. Only knew he believed it, and felt it was enough of an obstacle to prevent reconciliation. “That might have been true in the past, but Skyla said she was ready to change. She said she’d do this on your terms.”
He laughed, but the sound was harsh and humorless. “Why would Skyla Lux, cherished mate of the venerable Kryton Lux want anything to do with a renegade harbinger?”
As long as he believed that his father didn’t want him, no one could convince him that Skyla’s affection was real. They stood near the nutrition station, awkwardly facing each other. Less than four feet separated them, yet he had never seemed farther away.
Choosing her words with the utmost care, Lily ventured closer to the heart of the turmoil. “Can I ask a question without making you angry?”
His head tilted and his eyes narrowed. “If you have to ask, it’s unlikely.”
He was right, but she had to try. “Did your tutors ever lie to you?”
After a tense pause, he admitted, “Much, perhaps most, of what they told me was untrue.”
She was so relieved that he’d answered honestly that she nearly lost her nerve. But this had to end, and their attraction gave her a freedom he would allow no one else. “Then why are you so certain that what your tutors told you about Kryton is true? Do you have other evidence that your father deserted you?”
A sound part sigh and part snarl escaped his throat as he skirted the table and chairs. He crossed the small living room and sat in one of the tall-backed armchairs. “I am well aware that the tutors played head games with me. Even before I had the freedom to research the validity of their claims, I suspected that they lied to me. There was one exception, however.”
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