by Laura Del
As I stood upright, I got stunned looks from all three wolves. “What?” I asked. That seemed to be one of my favorite questions.
They were quiet for a second then Angel and Mike busted out laughing. Angel doubled over, while Mike leaned back in his chair. “She—she just ducked and landed you on your ass,” Angel hiccupped. “Oh, fleshy girl,” she said, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, “this is gonna be fun.” Then we started again, but this time my eyes were open.
It seemed as though Nathan couldn’t touch me. Every time he tried to use force, he wound up on the ground, and every time he tried to be tactful, I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. It was kind of freaky, but I was slowly getting used to this newfound power of mine. Too bad it was only temporary.
Around three in the afternoon, we were both exhausted, so Angel suggested that we call it a day.
“Aw,” Mike said, stretching in his seat. “It was just gettin’ good.” All three of us glared at him, and he just laughed. “Kiddin’. I’m just messin’ with ya.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling the adrenaline beginning to wear off. That’s when my whole body began to ache, and it made me grimace as I walked out of the parking lot.
“You all right, Ms. Pat?” Nathan asked slowly, concern flooding his eyes. I nodded, only that brought out a pained sound from my throat. “Yeah, I’ll take that as a no,” he answered for me.
“Nath’,” Mike said, “grab my chair. I’m gonna carry her inside.”
“No, you’re not,” I protested, my legs starting to feel like lead.
“Yes, I am. And I don’t wanna hear any more about it.” He picked me up before I could say another word.
As Angel and Nathan followed us, Angel told him to go home, taking the chair and helping Mike open the door.
“Good-bye, Nathan,” I said with a yawn.
“Good-bye, Ms. Pat.” He waved. “I’ll see ya when I see ya.”
Mike walked me inside to our apartment, and Angel helped him by opening the door. “Well,” she said with a smile as she put the kitchen chair against the wall by the door, “I’ll see ya later, Patty.” She waved her good-bye to me, ignoring Mike completely.
When we were finally alone, Mike shut the door with his foot and walked me into the bedroom. He placed me down on the bed, sweeping a strand of hair off my forehead. Then he took off my shoes, placing them in the closet.
I yawned, rolling onto my side as I watched him place the blanket on top of me. “I really shouldn’t…” I yawned again, “fall asleep right now.”
“You really should,” he protested with a grin. “Close your eyes, bébé.”
Suddenly, my eyelids were too heavy to stay open. And as they closed, Mike kissed my forehead, whispering that he loved me. Then the darkness washed over me, and I was finally plunged into the absolute bliss of a much-needed, dreamless sleep.
chapter
NINETEEN
Final Stage: Acceptance
Friday morning came and went.
Actually, so did most of the afternoon. I must have been extremely tired, because I didn’t wake up until at least four. And when I finally walked out into the living room, Mike was sitting on the couch, smiling.
He was in his work clothes, his tie at half-mast and his suit jacket lying over the back of the couch. I had completely forgotten that he had a job, and was taken aback to see him dressed like that. “You went to work?” I asked, confused.
He handed me a mug of hot chocolate, and I sat down next to him. “Yup,” he answered. “I figured I might as well do somethin’ while you were sleepin’.”
I took a sip of the sweet, hot liquid, feeling it warm me right down to my toes. “How was your first day?”
“Awful,” he answered with a sigh. “I don’t think I’m gonna go back.”
I placed my head on his shoulder. “What happened?”
“Let’s just say that with all that’s goin’ on, I didn’t exactly get along with the rest of the wolves.”
That surprised me. “Really? Why?”
“Their loyalty still lies with Stag,” he said, placing his head on top of mine.
“What? I thought the pack shunned him.”
He shook his head, his five o’clock shadow, rubbing against my forehead. “Not all of ‘em.”
“You mean the wolves that I met at Christmas weren’t the whole pack?”
“Nope.”
“How many of you are there?”
“A lot,” he answered, and I could tell that he really didn’t want to talk about it. So I uncharacteristically dropped it.
We sat there for a while, both of us sipping our hot chocolate in silence. I could feel all of his muscles relax against mine as I began to think about what was going to happen to him when I was gone. Would he have a breakdown? Would he just go off the wall and start killing people?
I began to imagine him going into the woods, taking some wolfsbane and going nuts on the innocent inhabitants of Louisiana. Then I started thinking that he would want to stay a wolf forever, causing all kinds of havoc, and finally, he’d get himself killed by some hunter or maybe even his own pack.
I was on the verge of freaking out when the phone rang.
Mike stretched, taking the cordless off its hub. “Hello,” he answered, sitting up straight, and as I looked up at him, I saw his face go very pale. “She’s r-right here,” he stammered, handing me the phone.
I took it from him without thinking, and before I could wonder why Mike seemed like he was going to be ill, I placed the phone to my ear and said, “Hello?”
“What the hell, Patty?” Tina yelled. “I’ve been trying to get you all fuckin’ day! I must have called you at least twenty times on your cell, and another thirty on the house phone! I left you over a dozen messages! Where the hell were you?”
I grimaced, placing my mug down on the coffee table. “I was here,” I said, getting up and walking back into the bedroom. Finally, I closed the door, sitting on the bed with a flop.
“You were there?” she asked loudly. “What the hell were you doin’?”
“Sleeping.”
She was quiet for a minute, and I knew that she was probably counting to ten in her head. “Okay,” she sighed. “I’m just glad that you’re safe.”
“I’m sorry that I worried you. I just didn’t realize how tired I was.”
“I can understand,” she said, sounding almost happy.
“Did I miss something?” I asked her. “Just a minute ago you were furious with me.”
“I was not—”
“Tina,” I interrupted her with a sigh.
“All right,” she conceded, “maybe I was. But I didn’t call to yell at you. Besides, you know I can’t stay mad at you.”
That was completely true. Tina could never stay angry with me no matter how hard she tired. “I know.” I laughed a little. “But why do you sound so happy all of a sudden?”
“Can’t a girl just be happy?”
I shook my head. “Tina.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “You take all the fun outta everything. I heard that you were… you know…expecting something.”
That took me by surprise. At first, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but then I remembered. “Oh…you mean the baby.” As soon as I said it, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake.
“Whoa,” Tina said, and I could imagine her holding up her hands. “Why do you sound so sad? What’s goin’ on? Is it Mike? Because I will kick his ass to Timbuktu and back again if necessary.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Oh no,” she yelled at me. “It is most certainly not nothing! You sound like you wanna jump off a cliff.” She wasn’t wrong. “What is going on?” When she asked, her Brooklyn accent faded to where it was almost non-existent. That’s when I knew she was never going to let what I s
aid go.
I sat there for a minute in silence. I knew I had to tell her. There was no other way. “Are you sitting down?”
“No. Why?”
“Please, don’t ask. Just sit down.”
She was quiet for a minute, and then I heard a chair creak. “Okay, Patty, I’m sitting. What is it?”
I didn’t know where to begin, so I decided I would just have to start with Kathryn. “Has Herb mentioned the queen of all vampires?”
“Yeah,” she said slowly. “Kathryn. We actually had her over a couple weeks ago. Imagine my surprise when I found out she wasn’t human.”
I nodded. “I know the feeling. Anyway, Kathryn has these visions.”
“What kinda visions?”
“Of the future,” I explained. “And a couple of days ago, she had two about me.”
“Okay. What’s wrong with that?”
“They weren’t the good kind.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, and I could hear the edge of panic in her voice.
“I’m going to die tomorrow,” I said as gently as I could.
She gasped. “No. No. No! You can’t die! Patty, there must be some kind of mistake. She must be wrong! She has to—”
“Tina,” I interrupted her. “No, sweetie, she’s not wrong. She had two visions, and in each one I wind up dead.”
“This can’t be happening,” she began to cry. “This can’t be happening. She’s wrong! She has to be. Patty, you can’t die on me. Please don’t die on me,” she begged.
I took a deep breath, keeping my emotions under control. There was no use in both of us being a mess. “I don’t have a choice. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“Tell…tell me how it happens.”
I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see it. “No, sweetie, you don’t need to have that picture in your mind. Just know that I love you,” my voice cracked. “I love you so very, very much.”
“Why…didn’t you…tell me?” she asked through her hiccupping sobs. “I would…would’ve…been there!”
“Oh, Tina,” I said, as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. “I didn’t want you to worry. I’m okay with it. Honest, I am. It’s a part of life.”
“Patty…don’t go. Don’t…don’t leave me.”
“Do you think I would leave you?” I asked, shaking my head. “I will haunt you every night. You can count on that.”
She didn’t laugh like I wanted her to, she just cried harder. “It’s not a joke, Pat.”
“I know. But you have to accept it. You know that, right?”
She blew her nose. “Yeah. I know.”
“Okay then. I want you to do me a favor.”
“Anything. You name it, babe.”
I took another deep breath, the tears subsiding a little. “I may not be…” I paused, trying to say what I wanted tactfully, “intact when this is over. So I want you to make sure that before they bury me, I look as good as possible. Can you do that?”
She let out a cry that made me want to reach through the phone so I could soothe her pain. “Okay…”
“I also want you to take me home. I want to be buried by my mom, okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
I let out a breath. “Good.”
“Patricia?”
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know that it has been an honor and privilege to be your friend. I love you so much.”
The tears began again. “Oh, sweetie, you are so much more than a friend to me. You’ve been my family, and I will always be grateful for that.”
“I don’t wanna say good-bye,” she sounded like a little girl, and it broke my heart.
“Then we won’t.” I told her. “We’ll say what we always say.”
She let out a ragged breath. “Okay. See you later, Patty.”
“See you later, Tina.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” With that, we ended the last conversation we would ever have.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I crumpled onto the bed, and sobbed quietly. But it wasn’t for myself; I had accepted my fate. I cried for Tina. For years, she had been my rock, my family, and my best friend. She was the one who picked up the pieces after my mother died. She was the one who encouraged me to try new things and to make a fool out of myself every once in a while. And she was the one that I hated leaving the most.
I knew she would be okay…eventually. But it just wasn’t fair. We were sisters. Maybe not in blood, but in everything else. And it wasn’t right that the only person she could truly trust in this world (she told me that once) was leaving her to deal with these monsters.
Suddenly, the tears stopped. Everything in me had shut down, and I understood then that my emotions were gone. This had happened to me once before. It was right after my mother passed. One minute I was in Tina’s arms bawling like a baby, and the next there was nothing. I remember the look on her face when I sat up and walked out of our apartment. She was terrified. And who could blame her?
It was scary how it all happened the same way. History repeating itself just so perfectly. There was nothing left in me. I was dead inside.
I didn’t know whether to go out and face Mike or just stay in the bedroom until I could fake some sort of emotion. But I couldn’t stand being inside anymore; I needed to get out. So I put on a pair of pants, a bra, and my boots, and placed a dark, warm, gray sweater over my nightshirt. Then I looked in the mirror. My hair didn’t look half bad. The curls were loose and wavy, so I decided to let it be. In fact, I wasn’t going to brush my teeth either. After all, I was dead in less than twenty-four hours. What did I care about tooth decay?
I grabbed my green, white and cream-colored knit hat out of the drawer, placed it on my head, and walked out of the bedroom in an eerily calm manner.
Mike stared at me, and I didn’t dare look back, for fear that he would see the change in me. “You goin’ somewhere?” he asked, and I nodded. “Let me get up, and I’ll go—”
“No,” I interrupted softly. “I want to be alone for a while.” I grabbed my coat, hearing him sigh.
“All right,” he agreed. “Just be careful out there. It looks like it’s gonna snow again.”
“I will.” I reassured him, even though my voice sounded flat and lifeless.
“You okay, bébé?”
“Fine,” I lied over my shoulder, only letting him see me in profile, because if I looked at him, he would have never let me go out without a longwinded discussion on what was wrong. I didn’t need that, so I just picked up my bag and I walked out.
Mike was right. As soon as I was outside, it started to spit snow and ice, and I had to put my hood up when I placed on my coat. Finally, I secured my bag over my shoulder and began to walk toward the woods again. I didn’t know where else to go, and that seemed like as good a place as any. But I had barely gotten two blocks before I felt that someone following me. “Hello, Samuel,” I said. It was very dark out, and when I turned to look at him, his black shirt and pants almost blended in with the surroundings.
“How did you know?”
I shrugged. “I could hear you.”
His brow furrowed as he walked closer to me, and without so much as a word, he grabbed my chin, lifting it so he could look into my eyes. “Something has happened to you,” he sounded almost excited, or as excited as Samuel could get. “You are as you were when I met you. Only…” his paused, his ice-blue eyes blazing with an intense lust, “you are darker than you were before. What has happened to make you this way?”
I jerked my chin from his hand. “None of your goddamn business!” At least my anger was still intact.
He smirked down at me. “You are my Patricia once more,” he said, and tried to take me in his arms, but I growled at him. He backed away a fraction of an inch and didn’t try to touc
h me again.
“Leave me be, Samuel,” I hissed. “Just go away.”
“No,” he bellowed. “You are the woman I feel in love with once again, I am not leaving you!”
“Feel in love with?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Don’t use words that you don’t know the meaning to, Samuel. It makes you look like a schmuck.”
“Who are you to tell me what I feel?” he growled.
“Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.”
“You know nothing,” he hissed.
“Fine,” I shot back. “You love me. So what? What am I supposed to do? Fall at your feet and beg you to take me? You must be dreaming.” Then I thought on what I said. What if…?
“Samuel,” I said before he could react. “How long does it take to become a vampire?”
He blinked at me. “Three days,” he answered confused, and then he cocked his head at me. “Why do you ask?” I glared at him in answer. “I see,” he sneered. “You wish to become a vampire for the dog.”
“No,” I protested. “Contrary to popular belief, not everything in a woman’s life revolves around a man! I thought you were old enough to understand that. And if you must know, I wish to prolong my life for my family and my best friend. They don’t need the grief that this will cause them.”
His face visibly softened, but his eyes still blazed. “How is it that even without emotion, you are willing to put others before yourself? You would rather become what I am than give anyone sadness.” He shook his head. “You are not as heartless as I once thought, Patricia. I see that now.”
I rolled my eyes. “Good golly gosh, Samuel,” I could hear the distain in my voice, “thanks.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You are quite possibly the most frustrating woman I have ever met. How is it that you make me feel like a child every time we have a conversation?”