by Durjoy Datta
‘Done?’ she asked after about an hour.
‘Not really,’ I said. ‘It’s tougher than I expected.’
She was already on her third drink. ‘I need another one,’ said Malini. ‘How many hours are we left with?’ she asked flapping down her laptop.
‘Seven to go.’
‘We can take a break then.’ She kept the laptop aside and finished her drink in a rather manly gulp. ‘So, Deb, isn’t Avantika participating in this one?’
‘She is.’
‘But not with you?’
‘With Kabir.’
She smiled as if she knew what I was trying to achieve. ‘You guys are pretty serious about each other, right?’
‘You can say so,’ I said. It always bothered me to tell pretty girls that I was taken, but it was a small price to pay to be with someone as great as Avantika.
‘Sweet,’ she said. I could sense the sarcasm in her voice. ‘How long has it been for the two of you?’ she asked and her phone rang. ‘Wait a minute.’
She left the room. I logged into Facebook and waited for her to come back. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. She was still on her phone call.
‘Hey,’ I called up Avantika.
‘What’s up? Are you out somewhere? I went to your room too, but you weren’t there.’
‘I am in Malini’s room. The case study thing,’ I said.
‘You were serious about it? You’re already in her room? Nice moves, boyfriend!’ she mocked and chuckled. Can’t she just be jealous and quit the competition so that I can do the same?
‘And where are you?’
‘I am in the library, with Kabir. LIBRARY. NOT MY ROOM. Now who is the culprit?’ she mocked.
‘I am sorry for that. Now can you please shut up about it?’
‘If you insist. So how is the presentation shaping up?’ she asked.
‘Hey, I am sorry. I just had to take that call,’ Malini said as she entered the room. ‘Let’s get started.’
‘It is going fine. Will catch you later,’ I whispered into the phone and disconnected the line.
‘Talking to Avantika?’ asked Malini, her eyes bloodshot and a silly smile on her face. She had downed half a bottle of vodka and I was still standing straight; that’s badass. She picked up the laptop and started to tap furiously on it. She did not talk too much. For the next four hours, she concentrated on the work like a sniper, often prodding me to work harder. She looked a little upset but I could not ask her why. We were not even friends so I let her be.
‘Done?’ she asked as she scrolled through the entire thirty-eight slides.
‘I think so.’
‘Wait.’ She tweaked the background of the slides and asked, ‘Now?’
‘Better.’
‘Wait then.’ She downloaded another background option and changed it. ‘Now?’
‘It’s all the same to me. Aesthetics isn’t my strongest suit.’
‘Now we are done,’ she attached the file to the mail and asked me for the mail ID at which we had to send the file. She typed it down and we shared a nervous smile before she hit the send button. It was certainly a feat for me; six hours and I had not moved an inch from where I was sitting. Avantika would be so proud to hear that.
‘Calls for a drink?’ she asked.
‘Sure. Haven’t you had enough?’
‘When I pass out, that’s when I say I have had enough,’ said Malini with a melancholic smile.
No bad intentions still, I was genuinely happy. I wanted to call up Avantika and ask how much they had done.
‘Vodka?’ she asked.
‘Yep,’ I said.
She had been gulping it neat (almost) so I thought it would be girlish of me to ask for something to accompany mine.
‘You drink a lot, do you?’ I asked since I wasn’t much of a drinker.
‘I used to drink in Toronto. I have reduced now,’ she said and smiled at me.
‘By the way, thank you for the help.’
‘Thank you? It is our case study.’ She gulped down her drink like it was water.
‘True,’ I said and gulped mine. The vodka burnt my throat, my stomach and my face distorted. It was horrible.
‘Too strong?’ she asked.
‘Understatement,’ I said, the taste still singed my tongue. ‘Molten fire.’
‘You are a kid,’ she said.
‘Really? Don’t throw me a challenge!’ I said playfully, hoping that she wouldn’t but she did and I lost. After the fifth shot, which tasted much better than the previous four since my taste buds had died, I was positively drunk and a little pukey. My stomach started to retch and I sat there, unmoving, scared that I would upset the balance if I got up and might puke all over her bed sheet.
I sat there, listening to her talk. Malini said she missed Canada a lot and that she did not like her time in India and could not wait to go back to Toronto. She said something about a boyfriend in Canada but I only remember his name—Samarth.
‘I don’t want to talk about him,’ said Malini, teary eyed, though I had not yet said a word. ‘Thank you. I think we should sleep now. This is getting to my head.’ She pointed to the glass in her hand.
‘Yes. We have worked too hard for a day. I think I am a little drunk too.’ The world spun every time I blinked.
‘A little drunk?’
‘Okay—a lot! I think I should go,’ I said and got up. My stomach grumbled in anger.
‘Stay,’ said Malini. I saw pearls of tears at the edges of her eyes. I knew she was about to cry. She added immediately, ‘No … you should go.’
‘I can stay if you want me to.’
I felt sorry for her. No matter how drunk I was, I realized that Malini was lonely out here. And her relationship problems weren’t helping her either.
‘You have done enough, Deb. Thank you. Bye,’ she said and closed the door on my face.
I could still hear her crying and sniffing behind the door. Malini had always been a strange girl. She never talked to any of our classmates and we usually thought she was snotty and snobbish. After all, she drove a sparkling Audi Q7 and that in itself is intimidating. Everybody thought twice before talking to her.
I staggered straight to the washroom and vomited my intestines in the sink. Just before I deposited my wasted body on to my mattress, my phone beeped and it was a text from Malini.
Felt good today. Thank you. I hope we did well. Good night.
15
The phone had been ringing for quite some time now. My eyes were closed shut and I was still drunk.
‘Sleeping?’ asked Avantika groggily. ‘You are done?’
‘Yes. We sent it an hour ago,’ I said. I smelled of dead rats in my mouth. ‘So tired.’
‘I wish you could come over,’ said Avantika.
‘Hmm.’ I didn’t know if I wanted to be with her; my head was still spinning and I felt dehydrated and sick.
At MDI, guys weren’t allowed in the girls’ hostel beyond eleven in the night, though girls could be in the boys’ hostel at any time, but they preferred not to be among hairy, shirtless, stinking guys in boxers.
‘I wish you were next to me,’ said Avantika.
‘Why do you think I want anything different?’ I asked, half-heartedly.
‘Come over then,’ she said.
‘But …’
‘Nobody will know.’
‘But—’
‘Yes, you are right,’ said Avantika, dejected. It was risky but no one ever really got caught.
‘I will come.’
‘But what if—’
‘No one will know, Avantika. I will dash in and leave in the morning. What say?’
‘It is a little risky.’
‘When did we stop taking risks?’ I asked her. ‘And it’s not the first time we are doing this.’
‘Just don’t get caught,’ she said and cut the line.
I trudged to the washroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth vigorously. My head still hurt and I could stil
l not keep my eyes open. I crossed the well-lit corridor that led to the girls’ hostel with drunk, unsure steps. If I were to get caught, it would be a huge waste. I called Avantika when I was about ten paces from her room. I could already smell her in the air.
‘Clear?’ I whispered.
‘Wait.’ I stood at the foot of the stairs waiting for her to give a go. ‘Now!’ she said.
I made a mad dash up the stairs and then a left and then a right. I ran right into her room and she closed the door behind her. I panted as I got to her room.
‘Not that tough, eh?’ she asked.
‘Not really.’ I smiled.
She held my dangling hand and tugged at it, while I came close. ‘So, why are you here? Girls’ hostel? So late in the night, it’s not allowed, is it?’
She was inches away from me and I could feel her breath through my shirt. Anything that was forbidden, like the boss’s chambers, conference rooms, deserted beaches, parked cars on a deserted road … all this got Avantika’s hormones running. So did mine.
‘I missed you,’ I said as she let her lips hover around mine.
‘Did you drink?’ she asked. ‘You smell horrible.’
‘Kind of.’
‘With?’ she asked.
‘Malini. Just one drink. She insisted that we should celebrate.’
‘But you were in her room all day? Weren’t you? Where did you drink?’
‘She has tiny vodka bottles stashed under her bed. She has a functional mini bar beneath her bed.’
‘Do you like her?’ she asked.
‘She is nice.’
‘Nice? Nice?’ She pressed a love bite from a few days before which still pained.
‘DON’T DO THAT. I was kidding!’
She let it go and instead, planted her lips on my neck, and started to suck on it. She bit, and bit hard enough to leave a mark.
‘Now that would leave a hickey,’ I said as soon as she left me. I inspected it in the mirror; it was red and would soon turn purple.
‘I want it to,’ she said. ‘I want a stamp on you that says you are mine.’
‘I don’t mind it. It’s good for my ego that someone like you deigns to give someone like me love bites. It just proves that I’m sleeping with the most desirable girl on campus,’ I responded. ‘I should be giving you one too. You know, to tell Kabir that you are mine?’
‘I tell him that often. And you shouldn’t worry about him,’ said Avantika.
‘And you shouldn’t worry about her,’ I said.
She slipped away from my grasp and sat on her bed, biting her nails and looking at her lap.
‘Aww … what happened, baby?’
‘Nothing,’ she said.
‘Just say it.’
‘It’s nothing. I just want you to know that I really need you. I want you to be around.’
‘I will be. But why do you say that today?’ I asked.
‘Deb, you are here now. But tomorrow you might find someone. Someone better than me … and when that happens, I don’t want to cling on to you.’
‘You are talking nonsense, Avantika,’ I protested.
‘Just keep me around. I will be happy to see you happy,’ she said. She looked like a hurt puppy but I basked in the glory of being wanted and loved.
‘Avantika, I would never find anyone who is as beautiful, as sweet, or as funny as you are. I love you and that is never going to change. You taught me what love is. Leaving you would mean unlearning all that, and I do not want to do that. I cannot do that. You are a part of me now and I cannot let you go. Not even if I want to. You are the only thing I want. You are the only thing I need.’
I sat beside her and she clung to me. I felt lucky that I was around her and that she loved me. I had also imagined how life would be without her. It was barren, loveless and purposeless.
16
‘Deb! Saw the mail?’ Avantika shouted from a distance. Morning classes were the worst, especially the ones where professors took it as a personal insult if students didn’t turn up on time.
‘What mail?’ I asked groggily. I dumped shreds of half-cooked omelettes on my plate and poured ketchup all over it to make it taste better.
‘Yours is chosen!’ she shrieked.
‘Huh?’
‘Such a lame reaction!’
‘The Mumbai thing? The case study? And you?’ I asked, not in the least interested. It had been more than a week since we had sent those case studies and I had completely forgotten about it since I had not fancied my chances.
‘No,’ said Avantika. I searched for disappointment on her face but couldn’t find any. ‘But you go and win it for me.’
‘What? I am not going,’ I said.
‘Why not? You worked hard for it! You should go.’
‘Worked hard?’ I said. ‘I just worked on it for a few hours. I only did it to make you jealous, and now that it’s done I no longer care.’
‘Don’t bullshit me, Deb. For the first time, you did something constructive, don’t let it go,’ grumbled Avantika.
‘What do you mean?’ I got slightly pissed off at her statement, though she was right.
‘You know what I meant, Deb; you got to take charge some time. You have to be a little serious about things. You are more intelligent and smarter than many people around, and you should realize that you can make a difference. Do something that will make me proud.’
‘Make you proud? Didn’t I just get through a competition that you didn’t?’
‘You have to see this through. You can’t back out now,’ said Avantika.
‘Why do you always have to make so much sense?’
‘I was just born smart,’ she said, then smiled and held my hand, her chin upturned in pride.
Kabir was furious that they could not get through. ‘How did he get through?’ Kabir had asked Avantika.
‘So are you going?’ asked Shashank, scared and concerned.
‘Obviously, he is! You never know what might happen there, Deb. If anything happens on a vacation, it doesn’t count as cheating,’ Mittal said.
‘I don’t want anything to happen,’ I said.
‘Idea!’ Mittal said. ‘Why don’t you go to Goa again? With Malini? This time the trip might actually mean something. Imagine, man … both of you are drunk and Malini asks you to rub suntan lotion on her back. Is there anything else you could possibly want?’ he said, already drooling.
‘That only happens in American Pie movies. And I don’t want to go.’
‘Don’t tell me it’s because you will miss Avantika,’ Mittal mocked.
‘Shut up, man,’ Shashank said.
‘I feel she gets a little insecure when I am around others,’ I said.
‘So what? That shouldn’t stop you,’ Mittal said disgustingly. ‘She should understand; isn’t that what relationships are all about? Both of you need to stop being Siamese twins.’
‘Will you ever stop being an asshole?’ Shashank said irritably.
‘Me? Asshole? That is what you guys are! Get a life,’ he smirked and was about to add on when his phone rang loudly. He flashed a middle finger at us and left the room.
‘Deb, but I think you should go,’ Shashank said. ‘I talked to Avantika and she was excited about it! Don’t disappoint her.’
‘I know …’
‘Anyway, you didn’t mail me the case study that you sent?’
‘I will do it right now,’ I said and opened my laptop.
‘But why didn’t you ask me to work on it?’ He seemed pissed.
‘Because you don’t have boobs and I wanted someone who could make her jealous,’ I said. ‘She has always been bothered about Malini.’
Shashank laughed. He started to look through the presentation, pausing at the ones with pie charts and bar graphs, and was genuinely impressed. I felt good about myself, and I now saw what Avantika was trying to tell me. It feels good to have a boyfriend who is not worthless.
17
I called Malini for the hundred
th time that day. Having made up my mind to go to Mumbai, I wanted to start preparing, and see this competition through to its end. If not for anything else but to prove to Kabir, the ass of the highest order, that he can shove his superiority complex up his behind.
Finally, she picked up.
‘Where are you?’ I asked, almost angrily.
‘Why do you care, man?’ She sounded drunk and her Canadian accent was even heavier. ‘What’s up, man?’
Her ghetto-style language always somewhat caught me off guard. The extensive usage of ‘fuck it’ and ‘man’ took some time for me to get used to.
‘Nothing much, Malini. Just wanted to tell you that our case study has been selected and we can go to Mumbai to fight for the top spots.’
‘And what about your girl’s?’
‘They didn’t get through,’ I said.
‘Are we really that good?’ said Malini, her tongue failing her.
‘Maybe! You did most of it, so you definitely are good. So we are going?’ I asked her.
‘No.’
‘Why? We worked hard for it! We have a fair chance of winning this.’
‘See, Deb, you wanted to go because she was going with that fuck-all prick. So, it doesn’t make sense to go now,’ she said.
‘But we worked hard for it,’ I argued.
‘I don’t care about it. Neither do you. So just fuck it.’ She laughed aloud. ‘I’m sure it’s not you but your girlfriend talking. She wants you to go, doesn’t she?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Packed everything?’ Avantika asked. ‘Toothpaste? Foam? Slippers? Did you check everything on the list I made?’
‘Yes, baby. How many times will you ask?’
‘It’s just that …’ she choked. ‘We have never been away for so long, so it feels a little strange.’
‘Aww!’ I hugged her. ‘Don’t cry.’
‘I can’t help it,’ she said.
‘Go ahead. You look cute when you cry.’